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|Patchstravaganza page 4: Missed the Bus||Rabid: AW COME ON! I even RAN!! / Rabid: I don't have the money for a taxi, and it's too far to walk... / Rabid: I'LL HITCH!! / Rabid: This sure is a big truck! / Truck Driver: Ayup. / Truck Driver: Gettin' hungry? Diner comin' up... / Rabid: That'd be nice! Thank you!|
|Patchstravaganza Page 5: Hamburgers||Rabid: Oh man! I love this place FOREVER! / Truck Drive: Heh, yeah. / Rabid: So - it's really really tasty... / Rabid: ... but why is it green? / Rabid: At least I got a doggy bag. / Rabid: Oh, that looks like fun!!|
|Patchstravaganza Page 6: Zoo Work||Rabot: Whee! / Rabot: Huzzah! / Rabot: Excelsior! / Space Frog: PFF LOOK AT THE NERD AT HIS NERD JOB / Lady: Tee hee! / Dr Quickly: Hey, I could give you a job that would be really cool! / Dr Quickly: You could be sysadmin for my webcomic! / Rabot: Your what? / Rabot: You were right! This really IS cool! / Dr Quickly: Now that I've a dedicated sysadmin I can work on my MERCHANDISE! / Dr Quickly: YES!!|
|Patchstravaganza Page 7: Exorcism||Dr Quickly: If you don't even know the standard deviation -- ARGH! YOUR NUMBERS ARE WORTHLESS!! / Rabot: Hey, I'm just telling you what the stats plugin says. / Rabot: Whoa! / Rabot: Doc? / Rabish: HEY LOSERS why's the website DOWN?! / Rabot: Testing! / Rabish: What's with the "artist"? Is he being "sensitive"? / Rabot: I think his soul was consumed. / Dr Quickly: ! / Rabish: Yipe! / Rabot: Gosh! / Dr Quickly: Ha ha I forgot I never HAD a soul! / Rabish: Ha! / Dr Quickly: You're fired. / Rabot: Noo! / Rabish: Ha!|
|Patchstravaganza Page 8: Detox||Noel: Alright - Detox Squad! Do your stuff!! / Detox Squad: Yes, ma'am! / Dopamine: POWER of RESETTING the DOPAMINE REWARD CIRCUIT! / Gabasero: POWER of RESETTING the GABA+SEROTONIN REWARD CIRCUIT!! / Dopamine: READY? / Gabasero: READY! / Rabish: Thanks, Doc! Your treatment worked and now I'm not addicted to anything! / Noel: My pleasure! / Dr Quickly: While you were in the hospital I had to write the comics. / Rabish: It's -- not popular any more? / Rabish: I'M STILL COOL, RIGHT?! / Space Frog: I DON'T KNOW LET'S FIND OUT|
|Patchstravaganza Page 9: Reaffirmation||Space Frog: DEFINITELY STILL COOL / Rabish: I'll say! / Space Frog: BET YOU NEVER HAD YOUR UH COUCH QUITE SO PUMPED FULL OF UH RAVIOLI IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND YOU DO BECAUSE YOU WERE THERE / Space Frog: HA HA AWWWWW YEAH / Space Frog: ARE YOU DONE SHOWERING I HAVE TO PEE / Rabish: NO! NEVER! NOT CLEAN!! / Rabish: What's happened to my life? What have I become? SPACE Frog?! / Rabish: Rabid... he must hate me now... / Rabish: Hup! / Rabish: Huf!|
|Patchstravaganza Page 10: Taffy||Rabid: This is SO GOOD!! / Rabot: Oh man that smells good. / Rabid: Want some? / Rabid: Say, aren't you the sysadmin for that awesome webcomic? / Rabot: I was... / Rabid: She's changed so much... / Rabid: I was on my way to visit her at the hospital. / Rabid: Bumf now I domt mknowf / << chum chum chum >> / Rabot: There's a bus stop over by the parking. / Rabid: Thanks! / Rabid: Wow is that Space Frog? He's got a cool car... / Space Frog: GRR ARRGH RARR|
|Patchstravaganza Page 11: Hiding||Space Frog: YOU WORKED FOR HER WHERE IS SHE / Rabot: At... the hospital? I got fired. / Space Frog: TOO BAD YOU WORK FOR ME NOW FIND HER / Rabot: Gulp! / Cop: Well it it's for a fun scavenger hunt I guess it'd be okay to use my fancy computer! / Rabot: Th-thanks, officer. / Rabot: According to the tracker implant, she's in here. / Space Frog: OPEN IT YOU DINGUS / Space Frog: GASP / Dr Quickly: I thought I fired you!! / Rabot: Gasp! / Dr Quickly: Sure it's illegal to remove the implant but people of her stature do it routinely. / Space Frog: PAPARAZZI / Rabot: Crooked cops! / Dr Quickly: Stalkers. / Space Frog: I MIGHT NEVER SEE HER AGAIN OH WELL / Rabid: Man what a bus ride! It's good to be home. / Rabish: Gulp!|
|Patchstravaganza Page 12: Flatus||Rabish: I... love you. / Rabid: Gosh! / Rabid: But I thought... / Rabish: Yes? / Rabish: UGH! / [[ Flashback. Rabish stands outside a chain restaurant called "LET'S TACO SHIT!" ]] / Rabish: I AM a little peckish! / Rabid: We'll go for a walk. / Rabish: Yeah. / << bup >> / Rabid: Anyway, I thought you and Space Frog were an item. / << frapple flapple >> / Rabish: We... kind of were, I guess. / << snupf plupflut >> / Rabish: But all along... through it all... / << spluft flont >> / Rabish: The whole thing STARTED because I wanted to... do something SPECIAL for you! / << BLATFT >> / << smooch! >>|
|Patchstravaganza Page 13: Wedding||Dr Quickly: WHAT?! They're getting MARRIED?! / Dr Quickly: BAH! / << flut >> / Space Frog: WHY ARE YOU SO MAD YOU NEVER EVEN LIKED THEM / Dr Quickly: I... / Dr Quickly: I loved her. / Space Frog: BALLS / Dr Quckly: Okay fine she was COOL and HOT and AROUND A LOT and I was INTERESTED but I never had a chance. / Space Frog: NO KIDDING / Rabish: I do! / Dr Quickly: Unless...|
|Patchstravaganza Page 14: Time Travel||Rabish: You! Webcomic nerd! You work for me now! / Dr Quickly: GASP! / Dr Quickly: Well... okay, but you have to pay me... in sex!! / << KICK! WHAP >> / Dr Quickly: GLEEP / Rabish: You! Webcomics nerd! You'll be working for ME now. / Dr Quickly: Okay! / Dr Quickly: Have a beautiful rose, boss! / Dr Quickly: GLEEP / << CRAM! >> / Rabish: You! Webcomic nerd! You work for ME now!! / Dr Quickly: Whatever. / Rabish: Surly, eh? Not bad! / Dr Quickly: R-really? / Dr Quickly: I mean, uh... what-EV-er. / Rabot: Your webcomic gets too many hits now! It's FAMOUS!! / Rabish: An award! Mine!! / Rabish: I do! / Dr Quickly: Unless... / Dr Quickly: Ugh. I give up... on time travel. / << smooch! >>|
|Patchstravaganza Page 15: Eating||Space Frog: HOW DARE YOU / << SWALLER >> / Rabish: M-my husband! / Rabish: But -- why? / Dr Quickly: There, there. / Dr Quickly: You have to look at the big picture! New opportunities! / Dr Quickly: She must never know Space Frog was tricked so I could take her as my own! / Dr Quickly: ... / << HOOORG >> / Dr Quickly: You guys all suck! I'm gonna go live on the moon! / Space Frog: SHOO / Dr Quickly: Ha! They'll be sorry I'm gone -- when they discover I took all the medicine! / Rabid: ACHOO!|
|Patchstravaganza Page 16: Sponges||Rabish: You'll be okay! / Rabid: No... no I won't... thank you. / Rabot: I FOUND A VITAMIN!! / Rabish: Hurry!! / Rabish: Rabid! We have vitamins! / Rabot: Oh! Ha ha this isn't even really a vitamin! / Rabish: A sponge? / Space Frog: AH HE HAD SPACE FLU IT IS CURED BY DINOSAUR SPONGES|
|Patchstravaganza Page 17: Frog Blast The Vent Core||Dr Quickly: If this machine works, it should make a "perfect" simulacrum of Rabish!! / Dr Quickly: Perfect... and HOT FOR ME!! / << ZAM! >> / Dr Quickly: What the?! / Dr Quickly: Huh! / Dr Quickly: I KNEW it was a good idea to bring this full-length mirror! / Dr Quickly: And these sensual massage oils! / Rabid: He used to be such a nice guy! Not creepy at all! / Rabish: What happened to him? / Rabid: Maybe all the time travel deranged him? / Rabish: We should help him! Assemble the team! / Rabid: TO ACTION!|
|Patchstravaganza Page 18: Teamwork||Rabish: TEAM OVERCOMING OBSTACLES! RABISH READY!! SPECIALITY IN TRAPS AND KNIVES! / Rabid: RABID READY! SPECIALITY IN COOKIES AND TARTS! / Space Frog: SPACE FROG READY SPECIALITY IN... HOLLERING / Noel: NOEL READY! SPECIALITY IN SNEAKERY AND CONNIVEMENT! / Rabish: A... pickle? / Noel: What's he playing at? / Rabish: I wonder if my sexy transformation had any side effects! / Rabid: He's still a great navigator! / Dr Quickly: GASP!! / Rabish: GASP!! / Dr Quickly: You can't DO this!! / Rabish: Perv. / Rabot: That was AWESOME! / Dr Quickly: Yeah...|
|Patchstravaganza Page 19: Burger Break||Rabish: I could sure go for a burger right now... / Rabid: I know just the place! / Rabish: But... why green! / Everybody but Rabish: HA HA HA HO HO HA HO HO HA / Rabish: What an adventure we had -- the moon! Glad it's all over, though. / Rabid: Yeah. / Rabish: But seriously, why GREEN? / Rabish: ? / Rabid: SHHH|
|Patchstravaganza Page 20: Plant Overrun||Rabid: Our universe was invaded by plant monsters and we're not s'posed to notice... / Rabish: And that's why that one place has green burgers? / Rabid: It's the headquarters of the RESISTANCE! / Rabish: Why don't we, as Team Overcoming Obstacles, do something? / Rabid: Noel. / Rabid: We think she's one of them... a PLANT MONSTER / Noel: Doop da doop. Hangin' around... / Noel: I sure hope no-one figures out I'm the evil mastermind of the plant monsters! / Dr Quickly: I could TELL them! / Noel: Not from in there, champ! / Dr Quickly: How can I get out of here? I could... redeem myself... / Dr Quickly: Maybe I'd even get to join Team Overcoming Obstacles! I'm sure glad I have a big buffer of strips for my webcomic...|
|Patchstravaganza Page 21: Bat Attack!||Noel: Here's your lunch, prisoner. / Noel: EEK! / << CLONK >> / Rabid: You! I should call the cops! / Dr Quickly: Please! Hear me out! / Rabid: Well sure we know about the plant monsters... / Dr Quickly: Noel. / Rabid: She's one of them after all?! / Dr Quickly: She's their LEADER. / Rabish: What's HE doing here? / Dr Quickly: This way! / Rabish: I still don't think we should trust him. / Rabid: Yeah. / Dr Quickly: Their HAUNTED BASE / Rabid: Are you sure this disguise will work? / Dr Quickly: Eh.|
|Patchstravaganza Page 22: Big Fight||Rabid: HOLD THEM OFF WHILE I UNSCREW THE MASTER GROW BULB!! / Angry plants: ARR RARR / Noel: HISSSS / Rabot: What can you do to me? I'm a ROBOT. / Rabot: Doorgh / Rabish: Ha! This is one of my specialities! / Rabot: Ugh... / << KA-TRAP >> / Rabish: That's my other one! / Rabid: Done! I saved the whole universe!! / Rabish: Well, you helped us. / Dr Quickly: Friends? / Rabish: Sure.|
|Patchstravaganza Page 23: Bite||<< nom >> / Rabish: OW! / Rabish: What was that for? / Space Frog: RABOT / Rabish: Huh? / Space Frog: THE ANCIENT SPACE FROG CIVILIZATION WAS BUILT UPON YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND THE VERY IMPORTANT THING IS YOUR GROWTH CONTAINS THE ANTIDOTE TO RABOT'S ROBOFLU / Dr Quickly: Good to see you guys, my friend! Hi friends! / Rabot: I'm... okay! Awesome! / Rabish: That's great! But... not to sound... selfish... / Space Frog: OH YEAH / Rabish: Yeah. / Rabid: Well, my venom doesn't seem to be an antidote to Space Frog's. / Rabish: OW! / Rabish: Can YOU help? / Dr Quickly: Hm...|
|Patchstravaganza Page 24: Conclusion||Dr Quickly: Fixed! / Rabish: Wow! Thanks!! / Dr Quickly: Little, ah, complication, had to remove the parts of your brain that care about anyone but me. / Rabish: Huh. / Rabid: My wonderful wife! Restored to her health and beauty!! / Rabish: Uh, hi. / Rabid: Um... / Dr Quickly: Better luck next time, champ. / Rabish: Awwwkward... / Rabid: But! But... / Rabish: It's weird... I never liked you much, but relative to NOTHING it's a mad passion! / Dr Quickly: Love's funny that way. / Noel: Sir! My plant army is ready to return and conquer again! / Dr Quickly: Cool! / Rabish: Hi Noel! / Dr Quickly: So! How many palaces do you want? / Rabish: ... all of them!|
|Noel at the Laundromat (routine)||<< vlum vlum vlum vlum vlum vlum vlum DING >> / << zuv zuv zuv zuv zuv zuv zuv zuv zuv zuz zuv zuv zuv >> / Rabid: Got the door for you! / Noel: Thanks!|
|Noel at the Laundromat (missed connections)||<< ZUV ZUV ZUV ZUV ZUV, throughout >> / Noel: I guess he doesn't come here every night! / Noel: Wait, is it Friday? He's probably not a Friday Night Laundry kind of guy. / Noel: He's either out drinking with women of easy virtue, or at home with the wife and kids. / Noel: Ehhh... / << BOP >> / << ZUV ZUV ZUV DING >>|
|Noel at the Laundromat (grift)||<< DINGA DING >> / Rabid: Hey there! / << flop >> / Noel: Oh, hi! I haven't seen you in a while! / Rabid: Yeah, I've been visiting with my family up in Ottawa. / Rabid: My little sister's pretty sick... / Rabid: I go up as often as I can, while she's still around. / Rabid: I got one of those rail passes, it saves a fortune. I keep it in my wallet, and wouldn't you know, down at the station... in a crowd... / Rabid: Listen, you have a good schedule here. I can count on you being back here next week. / Rabid: I'll take you out to coffee after! / Rabid: Lady, you're a miracle! I'll see you in a week; I'll wear a carnation! / Noel: Hee hee! / << DINGL DIN >>|
|Pipe Wrench (recuperative)||Commissioner Quickly: We found a miniature pipe wrench in his stomach. Sound familiar? / Bat-Rabid: ... the "PLUMBER"... / Bat-Rabid: Are you doing murders again?
/ Rabot, the Plumber: BGLAUGH!! / Rabot: I haven't forgotten our deal! I stop doing crimes and murders and you pay for plumber school for me!
/ Bat-Rabid: I apologize for the unwarranted assumption. / Bat-Rabid: May I treat you to some dinner by way of making it up to you? / Bat-Rabid: How's school going?
/ Rabot: It's tough, but... it's a heck of an opportunity. / <
|Pipe Wrench (COEnT)||Bat-Rabid: So what can you tell me about this? / Rabot: They were all confiscated as evidence, but maybe the guy who made them kept some souvenirs. / Beefy: Uh... there should be four in here. / Li'l Beefy: OH MY GOSH IT'S BAT-RABID! / << PLINK >> / Bat-Rabid: Is this one of the missing ones? / Beefy: Yeah! Huh! Nice magic trick. / Bat-Rabid: I have to go to a party. Here's a taxi chit. / Rabot: Oooh! / Rabish: I was beginning to think you wouldn't make it! / << Peck!! >> / Rabish: We need to talk... about us. / << KRAKOOM >>|
|Pipe Wrench (emulation)||Bat-Rabid: Someone disabled your popsicle and it was two days before your body was found. We're emulating everything we could recover... / Bat-Rabid: But we can only run you at a tiny fraction of realtime. Help me find the person who did this to you. / Bat-Rabid: Who did this to you? How did they do it? What made them commit the ultimate crime? / << hhh >> / Computer: N / Computer: O / Computer: E / Computer: L / Bat-Rabid: ... Noel? / Noel: Hey, you doin' okay? / Rabish: Oh, hi!|
|Pipe Wrench (popsicle-ation)||Rabish: It's so terrible! Why do people still do stuff like that?! / Noel: It's just a building. Hey, can I show you something? / Rabish: Sure, I guess. / Noel: I figured out how to disable a popsicle. / Rabish: It was you!! / Noel: Yeah! It's awesome! I can kill people, for real, permanently! / Noel: The non-existence we've all been longing for, that Bat-Rabid took from us! Here, I'll show you! / Noel: Wh... come back! / Noel: COME BACK!! / << POP >> / << CLUNK >>|
|Pipe Wrench (acid)||Commissioner Quickly: You won't get away with this, you... villain! / Noel: You know, originally "villain" meant "commoner", like, "farmhand". The jackass nobles poisoned the word with connotations of the oh-so-sinister and gauche underclass. / Noel: And now there's Bat-Rabid, another privileged and idealistic narcissist white male with Hurt Feelings and a fear-hatred for the people his imbalanced wealth has squeezed into dire straits. / Noel: He stole death from us! He stole our escape from the wheel of capital extraction! / << CLICK >> / Bat-Rabid: You're misrepresenting my position. / << CLK CLK CLK >> / Noel: I'll drop him! His blood will be on your hands!! / << CRACK >> / << POP >> / Dr Quickly: That should buy us some time.|
|Pipe Wrench (restoration hardware)||Administration Drone: NOEL? IT'S TIME TO GO / Noel: Okay. / [[ 2053-10-02 19:52:30 NOEL POST-THAW INTERVIEW ]] / Noel: You can carve up my brain, but you won't change who I am! I'll never forgive you! / Noel: I'll never take your oath and I repudiate any future me that takes it! It won't be me! / Administration Drone: DO YOU SWEAR AND ATTEST THAT YOU ARE DEPICTED IN THAT RECORDING AND YOU REMEMBER AND ACCEPT THAT DEPICTION AS YOURSELF? / Noel: Yes. / Administration Drone: DO YOU SWEAR AND ATTEST TO THE DESPERONTO OATH OF CITIZENSHIP? / Noel: ... Yes.|
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