You're browsing the archives of Name Removed.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Space Frog School (rebuke) | Rabid: After I graduate, I'm gonna move to space! Do you watch Space Cartoons? The ones they shew on TV here are BUTCHERED. They're a legitimate art form in space! Respected and beloved! / Rabid: I actually am pretty fluent in Space Frog already -- I do "fan translations" of Space Comics -- but I need the degree to get the teaching-abroad certification.
/ Rabot: Bluh.
/ Rabid: It's gonna be so awesome! I've dreamed of it for years. / Rabid: Here, want to try some real authentic Space Snacks? I got them from an import shop in Space Town, I bet you never heard of them!! / Rabish: TEACHER THIS DWEEB IS CREEPING ME OUT BIG TIME / Space Frog: EXTRA CREDIT TO RABISH OKAY DORKUS GET OUT / [[ Rabid is at home crying. ]] / Space Frog: TOURIST http://nameremoved.com/comics/691/ |
| Fish Trouble and Rabid (while camping) | Rabid: We need to keep fed while we wait for rescue but the the dumb fish refuse to get caught!!
/ Rabot: Hmm... / [[ Rabot lowers his external charger plug into the river. ]] / < http://nameremoved.com/comics/692/ |
| Fish Trouble with Rabot (underwater) | [[ Rabot is underwater, in the dark, sitting in front of a hole. ]] / Scary fish: Hey man hey are you hiding something? I think there's a cave behind you with food in it. / Scary Fish: I can taste the food in the water? / Rabot: Huh. / Scary Fish: Hey uh so anyway do you smell food? / Rabish: I think I prefer snorkelling. http://nameremoved.com/comics/693/ |
| Fish Trouble with Rabot (Matthew 17:24-27) | Burly Thug: Hey, neighbour. / Rabid: They said we owe them rent or something?!
/ Rabot: Extortionists!! / Rabot: I guess we should pay them; no sense in making enemies of the local goons. / Rabot: We need to get the secret money stash out of my Big Mouth Billy Bass. / Rabid: This should placate the hoodlums!! / Rabid: And there's enough left over to order pizza!!
/ Rabot: Shh!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/694/ |
| Quickly's Lousy Futon (ruins sleep) | Dr Quickly: ugh / Dr Quickly: Hell's ass / << BEEP BEEP BEEP >> / Rabid: How's that expensive futon working out?
/ Dr Quickly: It is such an effective status symbol that I stayed up all night admiring it!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/695/ |
| Quickly's Lousy Futon (through time) | [[ The kids and Dr Quickly travel through time on a time futon. ]] / Rabish: Wow! The Italian Peninsula in the thirteen-hundreds!
/ Rabid: The birth of the renaissance!! / Rabid: This is going to be the best research paper int he history of our school!! / Rabish: Wow! It must be Petrarch!!
/ [[ it is a t-rex ]] / Dr Quickly: No! Wait for the kids to come back you useless time-bed!!
/ [[ the t-rex eats rabid ]] http://nameremoved.com/comics/696/ |
| Quickly's Lousy Futon (for guests) | Noel: Your crappy futon messed up my back. / Dr Quickly: Cattle hockey. You can't sleep in my bed. / Noel: Have a fun day at work!! / Noel: "Experience required" to count inventory?! / Noel: Forget it. I'll call around tomorrow. / Rabid: Sure! She could sleep on my futon!
/ Dr Quickly: Good, she loves futons. http://nameremoved.com/comics/697/ |
| Rabid Slays Rabish (WOW!) | Rabid: WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!
/ Rabish: Huh? / Rabid: I just killed you.
/ Rabish: Must be lag. / Rabish: Anyway, how many more [Goretusk Snout] do we need? / << Poof! >> / Rabid: How is it I'm always the one who gets disconnected?! How is that fair?! / << Poof! >> http://nameremoved.com/comics/698/ |
| Rabid Slays Rabish (on a boat) | Rabot: Town-ho! Forty fathoms from half below the starboard bow!! / Rabid: Firing!! / << BLOOOOT! >> / [[ The spear hit a billboard. ]] / Rabid: We're not supposed to be over a city!! / Rabid: Hey babe! What a crazy day today! You won't believe what happened! / Rabid: WHAT HAVE I DONE?! http://nameremoved.com/comics/699/ |
| Rabid Slays Rabish (in disguise) | [[ Rabid runs his sword through the masked villain. ]] / Rabid: I've made a terrible mistake!! / [[ The villain is illuminated by a lightning flash. ]] / [[ The villain... IS NOEL! ]] / [[ Rabid leaps to strike. ]] / [[ Rabid's head is neatly removed from his body. ]] http://nameremoved.com/comics/700/ |
| Space Frog's Box (THE BOX IS A METAPHOR) | Rabid: Do you want to play transformers?
/ Space Frog: NO I HAVE TO STAY IN THE BOX / Rabish: Would you like to go to the dance with me?
/ Space Frog: NOT REALLY THERE'S THIS BOX I HAVE TO STAY IN INSTEAD / Space Frog: WHAT REWARD COULD LIFE POSSIBLY OFFER TO TEMPT ME OUT OF THE BOX NOPE / Dr Quickly: Ew, whoever lived here had a gross box of bones. http://nameremoved.com/comics/701/ |
| Space Frog's Box (in the future) | Dr Quickly: And what did you bring to put in the time capsule? / Space Frog: JUST A BOX AN EMPTY BOX I THINK BOXES ARE NEAT AND IN THE FUTURE / Space Frog: PEOPLE WILL USE INTERNET SACS AND E-POUCHES AND THEY CAN LEARN ABOUT US
/ [[ Dr Quickly shakes the box. ]]
/ << JINGLE JINGLE >> / Space Frog: WELL WE KNOW THEY HAD TIME CAPSULES THEY'LL SAY BUT LOOK ALSO THEY HAD BOXES HEY DON'T OPEN IT / Dr Quickly: These are my house keys. http://nameremoved.com/comics/702/ |
| Space Frog's Box (in the funny pages) | [[ In a newspaper strip called "Space Frog, You Rascal!" ]]
/ Rabid: Whatcha got in the box, Space Frog? / [[ Space Frog pulls Rabid out of the box! ]]
/ Rabid: WHOAP! / Rabid: Gosh! / [[ In a newspaper strip called "The Adventures of Detective German Quickly" ]]
/ Dr Quickly: The CRIME BOSS! I should SHOOT him with my trusty GUN!! / [[ Space Frog pulls Dr Quickly out of the box! ]]
/ Crime Boss: ?
/ Dr Quickly: HUWARGH! / Dr Quickly: Darn it!!
/ Rabid: Double gosh! / [[ In a newspaper strip called "WORKPLACE BOZOS" ]]
/ Rabot: ALL COMPUTERS ARE REALLY STUPID!!
/ Rabish: WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU, BEING A ROBOT AND ALL / Rabot: I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING STUPID!! / [[ Rabish is gone -- through the box? ]]
/ Rabot: RABISH? WHERE'D YOU GO? http://nameremoved.com/comics/703/ |
| A Sunrise Inspires (idle entertainment for the nigh-immortal) | Rabid: Lovely!
/ Dr Quickly: It's been a long time since I saw a different sun rise... / Dr Quickly: The first 100% post-consumer reclaimed materials space ship!!
/ Rabid: Is that gonna be safe? / Rabid: "My ship has broken apart; luckily I had the foresight to pack a properly made space suit... / Dr Quickly: Drifting aimlessly through interstellar space, slowly freezing solid, surrounded by my ship's debris cloud, I thought to use the last trickle of suit battery to send my old friends a message. Later! http://nameremoved.com/comics/704/ |
| A Sunrise Inspires (three hundred and fifty thousand years later) | Dr Quickly: ... ... I shouldn't be dreaming if I'm frozen solid... / Dr Quickly: No, I'm thawing... finally got close enough to a sun! / Dr Quickly: Solid looking planet... can build a new ship there. Got to time this just right. / Dr Quickly: So long crappy old space ship!
/ << KICK! >> / Dr Quickly: I wonder if this place has restaurants. http://nameremoved.com/comics/705/ |
| A Sunrise Inspires (rediscovery of an ancient hobby) | [[ Rabid is relaxing watch the sun come up over the lake. ]] / Rabish: Haven't seen you painting in a while!
/ Rabid: I'm feeling inspired! / [[ As Rabish lays brush to canvas, a strange craft hurtles out of the sky. ]] / << FRUMP >> / [[ Dr Quickly comes staggering from the flames. ]]
/ Dr Quickly: I am FINISHED with MAKING SPACESHIPS!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/706/ |
| Fund Holing (Ravish's Raincoat) | Bad Ecksmas: At least it stopped raining for a few minutes. Why is it always raining when we get called out at night?
/ Dr Quinky: It's a genre trope, unless you get to work in LA. / Dr Quinky: That's a women's coat... our stiff's a crossdresser?
/ Bad Ecksmas: What the hell is THIS thing?! / Dr Quinky: Well... maybe... it's a clue?
/ Bad Ecksmas: I'm calling the bomb squad. / Radot: Lab tests show it's a goddamn rock. No sign of what's causing this, uh, effect. / Dr Quinky: We got an ID from the coat, some coed named Ravish. I'm going to send a couple of you flatheads knocking at her door. http://nameremoved.com/comics/707/ |
| Fund Holing (in the real world) | Dr Quickly: Does your game work with my new VR chamber, Rabid? / [[ Dr Quickly sees something awful! ]] / [[ Rabid is dead, holding an indistinct grey jacket, the wall behind him spinning wildly in video feedback. A rock smashed the window on the wall, and broke a computer. ]] / Dr Quickly: The jacket is from the game! But if the server got hit by a rock, how is it here? / Dr Quickly: This was no accident... / Copmonster; There's someone in her apartment!
/ Copmonster Two: I'll radio backup. http://nameremoved.com/comics/708/ |
| Fund Holing (with Real Money Trading) | Dr Quinky: I'm... a video game character...
/ Dr Quickly: Jeez! Get over it already!! / Rabish: Someone... hacked my account...
/ Dr Quickly: Yes, that's what I just said!! / Dr Quickly: The hacker used all your "new character slots" and cashed out the starting item. It's called "fund holing". / Noel: I swear it's a rocket launcher! I just didn't finish painting it!! / Dr Quinky: Your criminal scheme only takes in three dollars a day?!
/ Noel: Enough for my own account, net connection, and instant ramen. / Radot: D'ja see they're going to let us apply for citizenship in the real world? I wish they'd stop calling it that, though. http://nameremoved.com/comics/709/ |
| No Shoes (the Vanishing) | Rabish: I'm going to check this place out!
/ Rabid: Okay! I'll wait in the park. / Rabid: She's been gone way too long... / Rabid: WHERE IS SHE?!
/ Rabot: I don't know!! / [[ Rabid is pasting up a missing-monster poster: "Missing for Four Years" ]] / Dr Quickly: Drink this if you want to find out what happened to her! / [[ Dr Quickly, a zoo attendant, feeds Rabid to a Space Frog ]] http://nameremoved.com/comics/710/ |
| No Shoes (thus, visible feet) | Rabish: I packed everything you'll need for this assignment. / [[ The briefcase seems innocuous to the security guard at the airport. ]] / [[ Rabid leaps from the plane while carrying the case. ]] / Rabid: Oh neat, super stealth camo!! / [[ Rabid is stealthily advancing on the evil mastermind's jungle stronghold, except his feet are plainly visible. ]] / Dr Quickly: Seriously? http://nameremoved.com/comics/711/ |
| No Shoes (only aliens) | Rabish: Ow, uh, sorry! I thought this was a shoe store! / Dr Quickly: It would be if there were room for shoes! / Rabish: These look like those alien things that were on the news.
/ Dr Quickly: Yeah, yup. / Dr Quickly: They wander in and wiggle for a while then dry out or something, and another shows up. / Dr Quickly: City says I should leave them where they are but I am sick of losing customers. / Rabish: Do you... do you know any other shoe stores in the area? http://nameremoved.com/comics/712/ |
| So Much Punching | Hero: Now that I am a super-hero... / << CRACK >> / Hero: So much punching! / Hero: I endure the suspicion of my coworkers http://nameremoved.com/comics/713/ |
| The Perambulations of Haunts | Narrator: It is well known that all manner of ghosts may travel freely through the walls of built-up structures. / Narrator: However, underground homes must be entered via doors or windows. / Narrator: Skyscrapers, which sway in the wind, are deeply confusing to nightmares and hags trying to crouch on a sleeper's body. / Narrator: Ghosts must travel carefully around the growth in forests but can move freely through an espalier. / Narrator: Contrary to popular superstition, aleatoric (untended) gardens do not keep out ghosts. / Narrator: There have been no ghost sightings on any terraformed planet. http://nameremoved.com/comics/714/ |
| Surrogoat | Great-great-great-grandnephew: When's YOUR goatday, Uncle Nick?
/ Nick: I don't have one! / Great-great-great-grandnephew: That's silly! Of course you do!
/ Nick: No, I have a BIRTHday / Great-great-great-grandnephew: You must be really old!
/ Nick: I'm about as old as anyone! / Surrogoat: NO ROUGH HOUSING! http://nameremoved.com/comics/715/ |
| Noel and Rabot Foiled (War on Crime) | Rabot: Ha! Ha! Ha! It's a great plan . . . Just great!
/ Noel: And if anyone walks in we'll just blow them a HOT LEAD KISS! / Narrator: BUT . . . Civic-minded citizen German Quickly overheard the schemers and went to the police, as any law-abiding young busboy should . . .
/ Rabid: Noel and Rabot? This could be our big chance to put them away for good!
/ Quickly: Not that I need a reward but is there a reward? / Narrator: That very evening . . .
/ Noel: What a cinch! You high society types are real pushovers!!
/ Rabish: Please! Don't hurt me, mister . . . I JUST WORK HERE! / Rabot: Sacks and sacks of loot! -- You rich folk shouldn't carry so much cash! ... Now to get out of here before there are consequences . . . / Rabid: TOO LATE for that . . . And too late for you and your scheme! http://nameremoved.com/comics/716/ |
| Noel and Rabot Foiled (by accident) | Rabot: Oh no, no! No no no no no!! / Rabot: Why did you give me this?!
/ Noel: Don't blame it on me!! / Rabot: I'll be melted down for scrap! / Rabot: They're closing all the robot prisons... Noel?
/ Rabid: She left. / Noel: Amateurs. / Rabid: There there. I'm going to call the cops now.
/ Rabot: sob sob http://nameremoved.com/comics/717/ |
| Noel and Rabot Foiled (by a kid, a lousy kid) | Li'l Beefy: Is it time to go yet?!
/ Dr Quickly: No, we're not expected until around six. / Dr Quickly: Leaving early to get ice cream on the way was a really great idea!
/ Li'l Beefy: Yep! / Li'l Beefy: I hope Aunt Noel lets me play her Nintendo! / Noel: I thought you said SATURDAY! http://nameremoved.com/comics/718/ |
| Bees In There (while camping) | [[ Bees come out of the car. A nest is on the dashboard. ]] / Rabid: Well our TENT'S in there, so...
/ Dr Quickly: Hm... / Dr Quickly: We could SMOKE them out!! / Dr Quickly: I even have a fire starter in my...
/ Rabish: Fanny pack. / Dr Quickly: CAMPING pack. / [[ The car is on fire, so is the fanny pack. ]]
/ Rabid: Ugh. http://nameremoved.com/comics/719/ |
| Bees In There (In The Big Hive) | [[ Rabid flees from the battle scene, giant bees ripping soldiers to shreds. ]] / Dr Quickly: Perhaps where an army failed, one man acting alone... / Rabid: You think I'm going BACK there?!
/ Dr Quickly: I want my honey!! / [[ Rabid wheels a nuclear warhead into the hive. ]]
/ Rabid: I'm just a larva! Don't mind me! Not sure how this plan gets the king any honey!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/720/ |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 >>