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|Escape Phrase 86||Jimothy: RARRRR! / [[The bars fade briefly where Jimothy is concentrating his power.]] / Jimothy: I don't get it. Please, try something. / Tsamantha: Okay. / [[A rainbow bursts out from her face, blurring and eventually passing out on top of the bars.]] / Tsamantha: I think it's working!!|
|Escape Phrase 87||[[A shadowy figure sits at a drafting board. Earlier installments of the comic are pinned on the wall. The previous comic is on the drafting board.]] / Shadowy Figure: These dang kids! What do they think they're doing? I guess I better get "Doctor Quickly" to go talk to them and try to calm them down. / Dr Quickly: Wait, maybe I should have said that.|
|Escape Phrase 88||Dr Quickly: Hey, kids. / Tsamantha: Wh... what ARE you?! / Dr Quickly: I'm Dr Quickly, of course. / Jimothy: But... you're that weird monster from his comics! From Dr Quickly's class handouts! / Dr Quickly: Yes, well. This is my TRUE FORM. Or, rather, what you know as "Dr Quickly" is merely one aspect of my TRUE FORM. / Dr Quickly: For I am... THE AUTHOR|
|Escape Phrase 89||Dr Quickly: It's like in Cerebus, where he meets the author and all sorts of weirdness that is interesting occurs. / Tsamantha: I never read that. / Jimothy: In what? / Dr Quickly: Yeah... me neither. Nick told me about it. Anyway, that's not the point. This whole story existed to make some strange points about metafictional narratives. / Jimothy: Is this all just some terrible joke? You, the "Author"... and our POWERS... / Dr Quickly: No. I created you. The force of it made the four you faced. And here we are at the end of the story. Your story.|
|Escape Phrase 90||Tsamantha: So what's going to happen to us? / Dr Quickly: A tragic blaze of glory. / Tsamantha: What? / Dr Quickly: You try to escape. Thing is, like I said, the story is almost over.|
|Escape Phrase 91||Tsamantha: So what are we going to do? / Jimothy: IS there anything? / Jimothy: My powers don't work, yours don't... / Tsamantha: Yeah, but what if we sync them up?! CO-OPERATION! / Jimothy: A blaze of glory? Why not! The deck's stacked against us but we might as well play. / Jimothy: Let's see who's really writing this story -- us, or some weird triangle monster. / Tsamantha: Yeah! / Jimothy: Okay! On the count three -- one... two...|
|Escape Phrase 92||[[Rabid is reading Escape Phrase volume 8]]|
|Escape Phrase 93||[[Rabid is reading Escape Phrase volume 8. The blurb on the back reads: "THE END OF THE UNIVERSE... ? THE BEGINNING OF TIME... ? The thrilling conclusion to the award-winning comic saga by renowned inventor Dr German Quickly. In this final volume, Jimothy and Tsamantha confront OO, the last of the Fundamental Forces, in a terrifying and unpredictable battle. The fate of their diagetic system hangs in the balance!"]]|
|Escape Phrase 94||[[Rabid is reading Volume 8 of Escape Phrase.]]
/ Dr Quickly: So what do you think?
/ Rabid: Well, it's a neat twist... / Rabid: But having the last few dozen pages blank instead of resolving anything is kind of a cop-out.
/ Dr Quickly: ?! / Dr Quickly: I did no such thing! Let me see that.
|Escape Phrase 95||<
|Living Room - Cake Poisoning Your Face||Nerd: THAT'S IT!! -- I WILL POISON HIM WITH CAKE / <
|Living Room - Stupid Newspaper Comics||Nerd: THIS INCOMPREHENSIBLE CRAP MAKES NO SENSE!! / Jogger: YEAH? LET ME SEE / [[A newspaper comic in the style of Dennis the Mennis.]] / Dennis: MISTER WILSON I'M MAKING PEE PEE / [[A newspaper comic in the style of Family Circus.]] / Dolly: BOO HOO HOO / Billy: IF I EVER CATCH YOU DOING THAT AGAIN I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND / [[A newspaper comic in the style of Marmaduke. The dog has no head.]] / Little Girl: AND YET HE STILL HAS BAD BREATH!!|
|Living Room - Atypical Expellation||[[The Jogger is drinking from a jug.]] / Nerd: I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU CAN DRINK THAT / Nerd: WAIT -- IS THAT FROM MY LAB?! / Jogger: URK / [[The Jogger spits it all up over the face of the Nerd.]] / Jogger: BLARGH IS IT IS IT?! / Nerd: HMM NO IT DOESN'T TASTE RIGHT / Jogger: CAN I HAVE IT BACK?|
|Living Room - Science Program||[[The Nerd is on the couch watching Television. The Jogger enters through a door.]]
/ Jogger: THERE IS A SPORST PROGRAM I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH
/ Nerd: UGH / Jogger: YOU MIGHT LIKE IT: THERE ARE SCIENTISTS / Nerd: SIGH
|Living Room - Sports Program||[[The Nerd is on the couch watching Television. The Jogger comes in through a door.]] / Jogger: WATCHING A LAME NERD PROGRAM!! / Nerd: YOU MIGHT LIKE IT... / Nerd: IT IS ABOUT "SPORTS" / Jogger: OH -- HUH / Jogger: I GUESS I'LL JOIN YOU / Television: WE NOW RETURN TO OUR LONG AND EXCEEDINGLY DRY DOCUMENTARY ON SPECTACULAR MUTANTS!! / Jogger: GUH|
|Living Room - Cell Phone||[[The Nerd sits drinking morning coffee.]]
|The Hunger (University Education)||Rabid: RARR! The HUNGER! It CONSUMES ME!!
/ Rabid: RARR!! / Rabish: So it's like a meta-hunger?
/ Rabid: Say, that's kind of clever! / Rabish: Yes, yes, I'm much more clever these days -- thanks to my UNIVERSITY EDUCATION!!
|The Hunger (Telephone)||Rabid: RARR! The HUNGER!! It CONSUMES ME!!
/ Rabid: RARR!! / Rabid: Wait! There is available food in my kitchen -- if I can only reach it in time!!
|The Hunger (Futility)||Rabid: RARR! The HUNGER! It CONSUMES ME!! / Rabid: RARR!! / Rabid: I will go to a RESTAURANT! RARR!! / Rabid: RARR!! I want ONE OF EACH!! / Rabid: Now I am consumed by SATIETY!! WRACKED by it!! / Rabid: As I walk home in the night, I realize that each state I pass throguh is both transitory and eternal -- I am hungry only until I eat, yet I will ever always hunger anew. / Rabid: RARR! The FUTILITY! It CONSUMES ME!! / Rabid: RARR!! / Rabid: ALSO I'm peckish.|
|Breath (Futurism)||Rabish: Rabid, you have TERRIBLE BREATH. / Rabid: HOW can this BE?! / Rabid: I brush my teeth dozens of times a day and eat nothing but flavourless nutrient wafers! / Rabid: Because I want to be futuristic. / Rabid: In fact, I spend most of my time in the bathroom, because it is brightly lit and well mirrored -- both attributes I associate with the future. / Rabish: Come with me. / Rabish: Your toothpaste is full of sugar! And these "flavourless nutrient wafers" are sweetened -- with SUGAR!! / Rabid: Ah! I thought they were too not flavourless. / Rabish: The putrescence of your rotting teeth is unpleasant! and oppressive! and reminds me of the unpleasant and oppressive things in our world right now. / Rabid: You mean like a science-fictional dystopia? Shucks I guess I ended up futuristic after all!!|
|Breath (Returns and Exchanges)||Rabish: Rabid, you have TERRIBLE BREATH. / Rabid: HOW can this BE?! / Rabid: I just BOUGHT an expensive new head the other day -- a custom design! It SHOULD still have "new head smell"!! / Rabish: Why, it seems as though the craftsman's lunch was left in the rear hatch by accident! / Rabid: Ew! / [[Rabish is hosing out Rabid's head.]] / Rabid: After you're done -- and thanks for this -- we shoudl go talk to those who sold this t'me. / Store Monster: Sorry, we don't do returns or exchanges on soaky or brained-up heads. / Rabid: Aw, man! / Rabid: At least I still have my old head! / Rabish: P.U. mothball smell!|
|Breath (Vacwm)||Rabish: Rabid, you have TERRIBLE BREATH. / Rabid: HOW can that BE?! / Rabid: We are in a VACWM and no smell can transmit! There is no MEDIUM!! / Dr Quickly: Actually if you look at a bad breath under a microscope, you can see that it contains "stuff" -- thus it is its own medium! / Bad Breath Particle One: I'm an unruly scent particle! / Bad Breath Particle Two: Gonna go up yer nose! / Bad Breath Particle Three: RARR!! / Bad Breath Particle Four: Me too! I'm very stinky! / Rabish: Not to mention that we are not in a vacwm at all, being sitting on a deck. / Dr Quickly: A crucial observation! / Rabid: My breath is unruly? / Rabid: Well! A vacwm makes it rather hard to breathe at all! / Rabid: I should have just used mouth-wash.|
|Experiment (Time Travel)||Dr Quickly: My EXPERIMENT was a RESOUNDING SUCESS!!
/ Dr Quickly: ... MAYBE!! / Dr Quickly: It is hard to tell bceause it was a time-travel experiment. / <
|Experiment (500 Years)||Dr Quickly: My EXPERIMENT was a RESOUNDING SUCCESS!!
/ Dr Quickly: ... MAYBE!! / Dr Quickly: It may look like an ordinary glass of water -- but in FIVE HUNDRED YEARS we shall see! WE SHALL SEE!! / Dr Quickly: ffff / <
|Experiment (Baby Gas)||Dr Quickly: My EXPERIMENT was a RESOUNDING SUCCESS!!
/ Dr Quickly: ... MAYBE!! / <
|THEM (Memories)||[[Rabid is gazing in shock at a framed picture which we cannot see.]]
/ Rabid: It's -- it's THEM! / <
|THEM (Sandwiches)||Rabid: IT'S -- IT'S THEM! / Dr Quickly: Hello, Rabid! I see you've found my new INVENTION!! / Rabish: It's a WINDOW through TIME!! / Dr Quickly: Come to my lab, we're making grilled cheese SANDWICHES!! / Rabid: Uh -- okay! / Dr Quickly: ... lab, we're making grilled cheese SANDWICHES!! Ah, here you are. / Rabid: Howdy. / Dr Quickly: So, the reason I invented it was so when I make a big batch of grilled cheese, I can enjoy them FRESH and HOT for DAYS AFTERWARD!! / Rabid: Wow! / Dr Quickly: Oh drat, I seem to have run out of cheese far earlier than I expected. / Future Person: HERE you go!! Now make ME one!!|
|THEM (Framing)||Rabid: IT'S -- IT'S THEM! / Police: PUT DOWN THE PHOTOGRAPH AND THE FRAME IT IS IN AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND COME OUTSIDE AND DON'T MAKE ANY SUDDEN MOVES AND DON'T TRY ANY FUNNY STUFF. / Rabid: THINK, Rabid, THINK! There HAS to be a way OUT of this!! / Rabid: If ONLY I had listened to her WARNING!! / Rabish: You know maybe instead of breaking in and tidying up you should just TELL Dr Quickly you lost his keys and that's why you didn't tidy up like you promised. / Dr Quickly: That's not a WARNING. / Rabid: Well, okay, but it was still a dumb thing to do. / Rabid: You're right, I'll just tell him.|
|Choice (Fireworks)||Rabid: Well? Which do you CHOOSE?!
/ Rabish: HOW can I POSSIBLY DECIDE?! / Rabish: I will flip a coin...
/ Rabish: "Heads" will mean I choose the one on the right. / <
|Choice (Submersion)||Rabid: Well? Which do you CHOOSE?! / Rabish: HOW can I POSSIBLY DECIDE?! / Rabid: Perhaps you could put them both in water and see which one floats ... the best. / Rabish: How quaint! Does your technique have a name? / Rabid: It's hard to say. Boo-ee-mancy? Or boy-oh-mancy... Boo-yan-so-mancy? Boo-hay-omancy... / Rabish: Uh? / Dr Quickly: Rabid is attempting to pronounce BUOYMANCY aka FLOATATIONAL DIVINATION. An ancient technique applicable to everything from asking people out on dates (ie "a sinking feeling") to politics (ie "hot air rises") oh ho! / Rabish: The two items have floated out of sight yet we remain sunk fast to the floor... / Rabid: Oh no I think we're WITCHES!!|
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