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"In which Mo' Money = Mo' Problems." [Jessica] Oh man. Getting fired totally sucks. Now I have no money! / [Cinn] Mo' Money Mo' Problems. / [Jessica] Not funny, Cinn. / [Jessica] My parents still refuse to give me money because I "smoke and party" too much. / [Cinn] You're still smoking? / [Jessica] Well, yes. I'm stressed. / [Cinn] Tsk. / [Jessica]...
"In which Herbert is so sketch." [Bruno] What's wrong? H-Dawg? You've been moping around all day... *blip blip* / [Herbert] I flunked all my classes last term. The university put me on academic suspension. / [Bruno] Dude, that sounds SERIOUS. *crash gzzzr* / [Herbert] I Don't Even Remember! I Don't Remember Last Term! / [Bruno]...
"In which Bruno ponders Herbert's terrible state." [Bruno] (I feel bad. Herbert is in a bad spot... and it's all MY fault. I better help the little dude out). / [Bruno] (I'm the one who got him into the frat, I'm the one who got him into a lifestyle of excessive partying. After all he's done for me, I ruined the little dude's life). / [Bruno] (So...
"In which Bruno strikes a deal with Jessica to better his friend's fortunes." [Professor] I am the hounded slave; I wince at the bite of dogs, hell and despair are upon me, crack and again crack the marksmen, I clutch the rails of the fence... my gore dribs thinned with the ooze of my skin. I fall on the weeds and stones. the riders spur their unwilling horses and haul close,...
"In which Jessica announces her happy news to a good friend." [Jessica] Guess what!? I got a job! / [Cinn] Dare I ask? / [Jessica] I'm a tutor! Can you believe it? / [Cinn] What are you tutoring? / [Jessica] Oh. Um... What's that subject called again? The one with money? Oh, yes. Economics, yes. / [Cinn] Well... THIS ought to be interesting... / [Jessica] I...
 
"In which Cinn yells with a large mouth." [Cinn] Tell me: HOW? How do you plan to tutor a guy in economics when you're actually an art history student? / [Jessica] Um. / [Cinn] Oh! You never thought about that?! / [Jessica] Well!... / [Cinn] You didn't even think about it!? / [Jessica] I needed the money! I hate being poor! / [Cinn] You know...
"In which Bruno seeks to convince his friend that he is not the Plague of Evil." [Herbert] Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man... / [Bruno] Um... hey Herbert. / [Herbert] Stay away from me Bruno! / [Bruno] Calm, Herbert! I am not the plague of evil! / [Herbert] No, but you're a bad influence! And if I don't pass my courses this term I'm SO dead! / [Bruno] Look Herbert... / [Bruno]...
"In which Herbert is given a bright hope for the future." [Herbert] Please just get out of my room... for once, I need to study. / [Bruno] Wait, little dude! Hear me out! / [Bruno] I hired you a tutor, Herbert! / [Herbert] Really?! You did that for me? / [Bruno] Yeah. / [Herbert] Wow. / [Herbert] So I can totally party tonight, then!
"In which Jessica studies up for her first tutoring session." [Jessica] So, my first tutoring session is today! / [Cinn] I can't BELIEVE you. / [Cinn] You don't even know anything about economics! How are you going to tutor it? You're a sham. / [Jessica] Oh, I have a plan. / [Cinn] What's with the books? / [Cinn] Wait a second... "Economics for dummies?" This...
"In which Cinn accuses Jessica of being devilish." [Cinn] Your plans sound develish, Jessica. / [Jessica] Hardly. / [Cinn] Tutoring a subject without knowing anything about / it is quite SELFISH. I mean, you're doing it just for the / money! *laser sear* / [Jessica] I'm selfish?! But tutors are NOBLE! / [Cinn] I know ninjas more noble than you......
 
"In which Jessica introduces her style of studying to her unfortunate student." [Jessica] Hello fratboy. / [Herbert] So, you're my tutor? / [Jessica] Yes. / [Herbert] Good. / [Herbert] Good, good. Look, here's my first assignment. / It's due in two weeks. See you then. / [Jessica] Nice try, fratboy. / [Jessica] See... my job is not to take this book and do / the work FOR you. / [Jessica]...
"In which Jessica prods a fratboy to study." [Jessica] That's it fratboy. Study, study. / [Herbert] Um... no offense... but, um, as my tutor, aren't you supposed to be helping me learn? / [Jessica] I AM helping you learn. Without my strict discipline you would be partying, not studying, right? / [Jessica] Now back to work, fratboy! *thunk* / [Herbert]...
"In which tutoring is going great for Jessica." [Jessica] Hey Cinn! / [Cinn] Hey Jessica! / [Cinn] So, how is tutoring going for you? *sweep* / [Jessica] It's going great! / [Jessica] At first I wasn't sure, but now I think my pupil has adapted to my system. / [Cinn] How can you tell? / [Jessica] Yesterday as I was leaving, I heard him cry, just...
"In which the Book provides Motivation." [Cinn] So, let me get this straight, your version of tutoring is to whack your student over the head with a book? / [Jessica] It provides motivation. / [Cinn] Pain is not a legitimate form of motivation. / [Jessica] Sure it is. When I hit him with this book, it makes him listen to me. / [Cinn] What...
"In which bad stuff begins to happen." [Cinn] My life-force is tingling, Jessica. / [Jessica] Wait -- why are your glasses off? / [Cinn] Noodle soup steams up my lenses when I ea--- / [Jessica] Hold on... / [Jessica] LET'S start this conversation again... did you just say: "My LIFE-FORCE is tingling?" / [Cinn] Yes. It's telling me that if you...
 
"In which the lights are turned back on." [Cinn] This blackout PROVES that I am right! / [Jessica] You are not right! Your dumb "life-force" is not right! / [Jessica] For your information, my method of motivation may not be scientific, but it works... I took a "D" student to a "B" average. / [Cinn] But! / [Jessica] And now the lights have...
"In which Jessica knocks on a door labelled 'H-Dawg'." [Jessica] (Maybe Cinn is right. Maybe I shouldn't hit the fratboy so much. It's not as if he's stepped WAY out-of-line or anything. / [Herbert] Jessica!? Is that you? / [Herbert] Wow... um. You're early! Just let me get my seat straight and my desk in order and, um... / [Jessica] Hm. *tink tink...
"In which Herbert is punched straight in the face." [Herbert] Please! You've been working me so hard! I needed to relax! / [Jessica] Relaxing is what cost you your last term at school! You failed all your courses, remember!? / [Herbert] Oh yeah... / [Herbert] So... are you going to hit me? / [Jessica] No. I'm not a hitting machine, Herbert. / [Herbert]...
"In which Scott is out cycling." [Herbert] My glasses! Ow! / [Jessica] They flew out the window when I punched you. I suppose we'll have a look below. Punching HURTS... / *Meanwhile, below the window* / [Scott] Finally! Now that my leg has healed, I can CYCLE again! / *...Scott is out cycling.* / *Unaware of the danger above...*
"In which Cinn suspects suspense." *MEANWHILE* / [Cinn] My life-force is tingling.
 
"In which a truck swerves and then hits a coniferous tree, leading to escape." *Animal Delivery truck approaches Scott on his bicycle* / [Scott] Aaah! / *Truck swerves* / [Snake Guy, driving] Oh no! / *Truck hits a tree* / *Truck hinge opens "unhinge"* / *A cage tips out of the truck and lands on the pavement* / *The monkey escapes* / [Monkey] Freedom.
"In which 9-1-1 is called." [Scott] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA / *crash* / [Herbert] What's that? / [Jessica] I don't know. But it doesn't sound good! / [Jessica] It appears that there's been an accident. Wait. Scott? Is that you? Are you okay? / [Scott] Jessica? I'm okay, for someone who was almost hit by a truck... the truck, however,...
"In which a man mutters to himself for a rather large amount of time." [Police Officer Soo] Is anyone hurt? / [Scott] I'm okay. A little shaken. / [Police Officer Soo] And the driver of the vehicle? / [Scott] He's over there. He's been muttering to himself since the accident. / [Snake Guy] See I was making this delivery and see... the boy on the bike... and see... my...
"In which a monkey be gone." [Jessica] Oh Scott! At least it all turned out okay! / [Herbert] Okay? My glasses are broken and I have an exam tomorrow. How will I write it. / [Snake Guy] my monKey be gone. / [Jessica] For us, I mean. / [Scott] "Us?"
"In which Nillan gives Leyla a cupcake with a candle." [Nillan] Here you go! / [Leyla] A muffin with a candle? How sweet! / [Nillan] A CUPCAKE with a candle! / [Nillan] It's for you! / [Leyla] What's the special occassion? / [Nillan] Our one-year anniversary. / [Leyla] But we haven't been dating for a year. / [Nillan] No! Our anniversary as FRIENDS. / [Nillan]...
 
"In which Leyla enjoys a muffin... er, cupcake." [Leyla] Good muffin. / [Nillan] Thanks. My mom made it. / [Leyla] Your MOM? / [Nillan] My mom. / *silent pause.* / [Nillan] I did put the candle on it. / [Leyla] You dripped wax on the icing.
"In which Leyla eats it in her own apartment." [Nillan] Do you think I'm too dependent on my parents or something? / [Leyla] No... relax, it was just a joke. / *silent pause* / [Nillan] It's just... I see you here, you know... living on your own with your own life and stuff. Half-a-continent away from home... / [Nillan] And, well, part of me can't...
"In which Nillan wants stability." [Nillan] Do you ever get the feeling that we're moving at different speeds? / [Leyla] What do you mean? / [Nillan] Well. You're living out here, on your own, moving forwards. And I'm so... static. We're the same AGE... yet we're at different places in life. / [Nillan] You constantly push, move. ...
"In which Nillan will not grow a mustache." [Nillan] Like... You're from Montréal. / [Leyla] Yes. / [Nillan] Haven't you ever thought about what will happen when you go back there? What will happen to "us"? / [Leyla] To be honest, Nillan, I don't plan that far ahead. / [Nillan] I know. / [Nillan] The problem is... I DO plan that far ahead, Leyla....
"In which Nillan's constitution is darker than the darkest of music." [Leyla] Do you feel better? / [Nillan] I don't know if I ever feel "better." / [Nillan] I live in constant fear that I will fail in life: I will never be a good enough son, my music will never be heard, my love for you will go un-returned... in general, a lonely life and an ill-attended funeral. / [Leyla]...
 

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