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| CLIFF HANGER !! | Dr. Love: WHAOW! Take this!
/ Abe: Will this kill Shackleton or something?
/ Dr. Love: Naw, baaay-bay! It's plain ol' OJ! You look like you could use some vitamin C! OHW! Anyway, here's what you do:
/ [[SHORTLY:]]
/ Abe [Thinking]: Dang, I feel like I am safe from getting scurvy for a while.
/ [[ABE... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=419 |
| Fin. | [[Amelia Earhart disappears with a "POP!" after being pushed by Shackleton]] / [[Shackleton falls off a cliff, eventually landing]] / Abe: There, there. Don't worry, we're safe now. It's all over. He can't hurt you now. / Shackleton: This is the last time you get in Shackleton's way, you thrice-cursed... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=420 |
| Ruminatin' | Washington: One ticket for the 7:30 showing of Explosions: The Movie, please.
/ Abe [[Thinking]]: Aw Crud. / Abe [[Thinking]]: I can't believe I forgot to go to the bathroom before we left.
/ Ticket Clerk: That will be forty dollars, please.
/ Washington: Keep the change, sweet-cheeks. / Ticket Clerk:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=421 |
| On the Nature of Dogs | Ticket Clerk: SIR! Are you going to buy a ticket or not??
/ Abe: Huh! What? Oh, sorry! I was just thinking about... uh... / Abe [[Thinking]]: ...don't say poops don't say poops don't say poops don't say poops don't... / Abe: a... white... dog.
/ Ticket Clerk: Okay... / [[SHORTLY]] / [[Abe is picturing... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=422 |
| Conspicuous Consumption | Abe: There! [[CLINK!]]
/ Abe: Now that I'm the richest man in the galaxy, it's time to kick back and start enjoying the luxuries I've worked so hard to earn!
/ Washington: Whatever. You wouldn't know luxury if it bit off your genitals.
/ Abe: I admit, luxury would be difficult to recognize in that form...... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=423 |
| Plicka what? Plicka please | Abe: Would you look at this kid. All "bumping" his dang "tunes" all over our friggin' neighborhood.
/ Beethoven: His car all hopped up on hydraulics like some kinda maniac. I tell ya, in my day we went deaf and we liked it!
/ Abe: HEY YOU IDIOT KID WHY DON'T YOU TURN DOWN THAT AWFUL SASSAFRASIN' HARP-HOP... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=424 |
| Spooky the Skeleton | Abe: I'm going to start a comic I will draw! This is my intent.
/ Abe: It's about a skeleton called Spooky the Skeleton and his spooky pals!
/ Abe: I will show it to all my friends. Popularity guaranteed!
/ [[Spooky the Skeleton: BEING A SKELETON IS HELLA LAAAAAME]]
/ Skeleton Shakespeare: This makes... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=425 |
| Imbibition | Bartender: What can I get you, sir?
/ Ichlor: Whole milk, straight up.
/ Lincoln: Dang, been a while since I seen you down here at the Milk Bar Ichlor! Hittin' the hard stuff too, I see.
/ Ichlor: Hey, Abe. What happening.
/ Abe: Not much dude. Just knockin' back a couple o' cool half pints.
/ Abe: What... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=426 |
| Talkin' at the Bus Stop | Abe: Hey! Secretariat! What's up dude? Waitin' for the bus too, eh?
/ Secretariat: Yep.
/ Abe: Cool, cool... So uh, won any races lately?
/ Secretariat: Presided over any North American countries lately? http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=427 |
| Rationalization | Abe: Rationalization is when you want to do something you know you shouldn't, so you make up reasons why it's OK. / Abe: For instance, hitting George with a hammer. I shouldn't do it, but man that guy is a jerk! PLUS he owned slaves. Hammer-worthy! / Washington: OW! YOU MOTHER-LOVING SON OF A CROCKPOT / Abe:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=428 |
| Taking Umbrage | Abe: Hey Otto, lovely morning isn't it! How're you do-
/ Otto: Let me ask you something, Jody. / Otto: Do you ever stop and think to yourself,"Maybe I shouldn't annoy Otto von Bismarck all the time, considering he could be the guy who ordered my assassination?" / Abe: WHAT! / Otto: Think about it,... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=429 |
| Entertainment | Abe: Dude Shakespeare I'm bored. Quick! Entertain me.
/ Shakespeare: Uh okay I guess I can do that. / [[shake shake shake shake sha ke shake shake shake shake]] / Abe: Man can't you write me up a play or something? A dumb little dance ain't gonna cut it this time. / Shakespeare: OK this uh this... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=430 |
| Interpersonal Relationships | Washington: I think--
/ Abe: Oh, whatever. You're a jerky douche anyway and no one cares about your opinions. / Washington: Yeah, OK. Look, dude. I don't know if you've noticed but no one really likes you, man. Everybody is just sort of stuck hanging out with you because you're loud and you're always... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=431 |
| Leaving Impressive Impressions | Abe: OK, but Liz likes to hang out with me... / Abe: Hmmm... / [[scoot scoot]]
/ Abe: HMMMM... / Elizabeth: *Sigh* What are you reading?
/ Abe: Oh, just a treatise on the rise of mercantilist empires and their effect on global economy and the military-industrial complex. Nothing you'd understand. / Elizabeth:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=432 |
| What Are Friends For | Abe: I'm sure someone likes me! M-Maybe Amelia? / Abe: Hey Amelia. My computer is kinda busted can you come fix it.
/ Amelia: Uh, sure! No problem. / Abe: Hey Amelia. Remember how last time you told me not to delete my hard drive? Well I did. Can you come fix it please.
/ Amelia: Uh... yeah... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=433 |
| Recognition | Abe: All right, no one likes me. Fine. But you know what? Who cares! I don't need them! I don't need anyone! / Abe: I'm Abe Lincoln, dammit! / Hamlin: I like you, Mr. Lincoln! / Abe: Oh great, some random balding guy likes me. / Hamlin: Hey, I'm not balding! Anyway, it's me Abe! Hannibal Hamlin,... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=434 |
| Body Issues | Abe: Sup, dudes? / Washington: You... you have a body! How do you have a body? / Abe: What, this old thing? Had it for ages! Now, who's up for some tap-dancing! / [[tippity tip tap tap tappity]]
/ [[tippity tappity tip tap tappity tippity tap]]
/ [[tippity tippity tip tippity tap tippity tippity... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=435 |
| An Upstanding Citizen | Abe: Hello, old woman! Would you like me to help you get that thing you're reaching for off that high shelf? / Elizabeth: AHHHHH! / Abe: It's no problem at all, I assure you! / Elizabeth: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH / Abe: Oh my, what's this? "Butlers Being Naughty...?" http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=436 |
| If a Body Meet a Body | Abe: Gin a body meet a body / Comin thro the rye, / Gin a body kiss a body, / Need a body cry? / Abe: Whoa! Hey everybody! / Washington: Seriously, how do you have a body? Nobody here has a body. It's not possible that you have a body. / Abe: What, this? It's easy! You just... / Abe: You... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=437 |
| Flirting! | Abe: This is my thesis of life: that flirting with pretty girls is one of the best joys available to a dude. / Darwin: Really? I've never been too great with the ladies... / Abe: Charles Darwin! This is a problem. Look, there's a girl over there--go talk to her! / Darwin: I don't know what... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=438 |
| The Opposite of Missiles | Abe: Oh my GOSH you just spat a missile into her face Charles Darwin! This is bad news for your dating prospects! / [[DARWIN'S DATING PROSPECTS:]]
/ Booger-Amoeba: Aw, man! Not MORE bad news
/ !
/ Abe: But on the other hand, it could be very good news in the struggle against Commander Jerk-Face... / [[SOON:]]
/ Abe:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=439 |
| Bus Encounters of the Third Kind | Abe: So uh, anyway! Flirting! It's fun! / Abe: Speaking of, there's this cute girl that I see on the bus almost every day that I think might like me. Every once in a while, I glance at her and our eyes meet and I never know if she's catching me or I'm catching her. / Amelia: Aww, Abe! That's... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=440 |
| A Question of Grooming | Abe: I wonder -- Do monkeys have to cut their hairs?
/ Washington: I don't know! Who even cares? / Abe: No, I mean it! Seriously!
/ Washington: Didn't you hear? Don't ask me! / Abe: Rudyard Kipling! Washington scoffed but do you know if monkeys are coiffed?
/ Kipling: Monkeys do have to cut their... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=441 |
| The No Context Blues | Abe: OK so here is my latest project! I know you all are very interested to hear it. I am trying to find things that are completely awesome even with absolutely no context whatsoever.
/
/ Twain: I don't think that's really possible, dogg. Humans can't even ever perceive a thing with no context... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=442 |
| Orthography | Abe: Did you ever notice that there are like a bunch of sounds a dude can make that there are no good letters for it? / Abe: Like I mean some stuff can be approximated with letters into a pretty good onomatopoeia. For example, hawking a loogie sounds like / [[hwohhhhhck...]]
/ [[phtoey!]] / José de... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=443 |
| Serene Conversations | {{Alt text: Joss Whedon is the real hunk if you ask me. He has a hunky mind.}} / Queen Elizabeth II: My, my! That Simon, what a dreamboat.
/ Amelia Earhart: No way, Wash is the sexiest! / Washington: Hey, ladies. Talking about me again? / Washington: Oh, you're watching some dumb show. / Queen Elizabeth... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=444 |
| Mr. Playwright | Abe: I am going to write a play! I am going to be a play-writing playwright. / Shakespeare: Dang man I gotta warn you that, well, writing plays is tough, it's a tough thing. Most times you just sit there staring at your quill, you know, hating it, wishing you could die because no play will come out... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=445 |
| The Confident Man | Shakespeare: OK William, you are going to turn your life around. / Shakespeare: You are going to be Mr. Confident from now on. / Shakespeare: That's right. Mr. William Confident Eleanor Shakespeare, a hit with the ladies and parties. / Shakespeare: Now you tell that mirror. Tell that mirror... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=446 |
| How to Win Friends and Influence People | Abe: Hey, so Shakespeare! I was thinking about my play, right, and I was thinking what if the dragon's mom is a cyborg and-- / Shakespeare: CRAM A SOCK IN IT, CHUCKLES! YOUR PLAY IS TERRIBLE AND EVERYONE HATES YOU!
/ Shakespeare: GENITALS! / Abe: Every-one hates my genitals?? / Shakespeare: ... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=447 |
| Free Cupcakes | Abe: Hey Liz! Word on the street is you've been giving out free cupcakes to all! Think your old pal Abe could get one maybe? / Elizabeth: Aw, Abe, I'm sorry! I've only got a couple left, and I was going to give them to some orphans. Will you be crushed? / Abe: We will all be crushed when the... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=448 |
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