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| A Consumerist Nightmare | [[TOSS]] / [[TURN]] / Mewsevelt: I am aware of your purchasing habits, Mr. Lincoln. Intimately. / [[*huff* *huff*]] / Abe: Oh thank Heavens! It was just a dream. / [[SNAP!]] http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=449 |
| The Wonders of Modern Medicine | Abe: So dude did you hear what the internet is saying? / Washington: You mean the thing about how Microsoft sucks...? / Abe: Nah, man! It says on the internet that today's modern medicine could have saved me from my gunshot wound! These crazy future doctors coulda had me back in the White House... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=450 |
| The Ganja Weed Reggae Music | Music: I smoke two joints in the morning I smoke two joints at night
/ Elizabeth: Abraham!
/ Abe: What! / Elizabeth: Turn off that horrible music! / Abe: Fine, I'll skip the song.
/ Music: Who says I fear babylon? Tell dem say I'm a tru ganja mon. / Elizabeth: Abraham why are you listening to... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=451 |
| A Stretch of the Imagination | Washington: Hey, so remember that site I linked you to that one time, goatse.cx? / Abe: Yes. That grisly image haunts my dreams, etched into me mind with blinding detail, never to be forgotten. / Abe: Ever. / Washington: Haha, yeah? So anyway, the site went defunct eventually and now the domain... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=452 |
| The Elephant Debate | San Martin: I say Indian elephants are the best. / Twain: You're off your dang fool of a rocker! African elephants are clearly the best! / Abe: Ah, that age-old debate: which kind of elephant is better? As an impartial third party, I will have to moderate this debate! / Abe: It's African elephants... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=453 |
| Deaf Fury | Abe: Hey, so Beethoven. I was thinking, it's a known fact that if you go blind, you get super hearing powers and the ability to kick megabutts like Daredevil or Rutger Hauer in Blind Fury. Do deaf people get awesome vision powers? / Beethoven: WHUT WHUT / Abe: HANG ON I'M WRITING IT DOWN / Abe's... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=454 |
| It's Burger Time, Baby | Abraham Lincoln: Dang! I must be hungry. My tummy's rumblin' like a couple o' gators fighting over a hang-glider! / Crocodile with a Beard AKA Dr. Love or Dr. C.W.A.B Love: What. / Abe: Anyway, you guys wanna go grab a burger?
/ Crocodile with a Beard: Nah, man, nah. After a comment like that?
/ Nikola... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=455 |
| Of or Like Iron | [[Abraham Lincoln looks shocked.]] / George Washington: What's with you? / Abraham Lincoln: Dude, Alanis Morissette just blew my mind. You know how that song, "Ironic," how all the examples of irony in it aren't really ironic?
/ George Washington: Sure, yeah.
/ Abraham Lincoln: Doesn't that seem ironic... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=456 |
| Discerning Taste | Abe: You know, I've noticed lately that it seems like no one who likes the same stuff as me likes it for the right reason. / Liz: What do you mean? / Abe: Well, like if I like a band, other fans of the band will invariably like the worst songs and hate the best ones. Or if I like a movie, everyone... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=457 |
| Queen Day | Lincoln: Crap, I think it was Liz's birthday yesterday! / Lincoln: Why do I always forget everyone's birthday! I forgot my OWN birthday this year! / Freud: Yadda yadda, something about your mother. / Elizabeth: Oh, it wasn't really my birthday yesterday. My birthday was in April. It was just celebrated... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=458 |
| Bon Anniversaire | Abe: Man, I don't want to forget any more birthdays!
/ Crap! What if it's someone's birthday today! / Washington: Are you kidding? It's zillions of people's birthdays every day.
/ Today's birthdays include W.B. Yeats, Malcolm McDowell, Tim Allen, Ally Sheedy, Rivers Cuomo, and the Olsen twins. / Abe:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=459 |
| Much Ado About Birthdays | Lincoln: Wait, so you have the power to know all birthdays? What's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's birthday? / Washington: April 16th. / Abe: P.T. Barnum?
/ Washington [[off screen]]: July 5th. / Abe [[off screen]]: Charles de Gaulle?
/ Washington: November 22nd. / Abe [[off screen]]: Pablo Picasso?
/ Washington:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=460 |
| Punishable Offenses | Punxsutawney Phil: Hey, José-- holy crap! What happened? You look like you got attacked!
/ José de San Martin [[has a black eye, cuts, and scrapes]]: Oh, hey Phil. Yeah, I was walking through the park the other day when I walked past a dog carrying a bunch of salami. / Abraham Lincoln [off-screen, in... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=461 |
| Regrettable Lifestyle Choices | Abraham Lincoln [[wearing a red and white luchador mask]]: Ha.
/ HA! / Punxsutawney Phil: Dudewhatthehellareyoudoing!! / Abe: I am the Grammar Hammer, punisher of bad grammar! / Punxsutawney Phil: You just totally, like, friggin, like, body-slammed José for no friggin' reason! After he was all attacked... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=462 |
| Dramatis Personae | [[ Lincoln reads a book ]] / [[ Skeleton Shakespeare looks over Lincoln with fire in his eyes ]]: LOOK AT THIS GUY. / Shakespeare: LOOK AT THIS GUY. MR. BOOK. MR. BOOK GUY. / Abe: Uh, can I help you?
/ Shakespeare: PROBABLY READING A BOOK ON FREAKIN' ON FREAKIN' ERGONOMIC CHAIRS OR SOMETHING. / Abe:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=463 |
| Cattle Taxonomy | [[Same location as all the comics before]] / Lincoln: You know, I was thinking, totally apropos of nothing... you know, like cows? And bulls? / Washington: As in cattle? / Lincoln: Yeah, exactly! We call them cows and bulls right? But cow and bull are generic terms for females and males of certain... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=464 |
| Grassroots Efforts | [[Normal]]
/ Lincoln: All right, that's it. It's time for a grassroots campaign. / Soon:
/ Lincoln: (to Darwin) Hey you! Take a flyer! / [[Close up of flyer]]
/ Seriously science, LET'S INVENT TELEPORTATION ALREADY! COME ON GUYS GET ON THE STICK {{Has a picture of a molecule with 'science' written underneath. / Darwin:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=465 |
| Botanophilia | [[George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are in the dark]]
/ Washington: Dang, this is really a pretty labyrinthine basement you have. So are we almost to whatever you wanted to show me?
/ Abe: Yeah, it's right over here. / Abe: OK, this is the place. Now I know how you've got that thing where you're ascared... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=466 |
| Thing and Things | Abraham Lincoln: Wait wait wait wait wait. What? You're trying to say that Dr. Seuss was ripping off Charles Addams when he wrote The Cat in the Hat? / Martin Van Buren: Yeah, man! Addams introduced Thing, you know, the disembodied hand, to the Addams Family comic in 1954, just 3 scant years before... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=467 |
| Transformative Ambivalence | Lincoln: Ughh... I am so ambivalent about this new Transformers movie that's coming out. One the one hand, I mean it's going to have giant robots and explosions so it will probably be cool. / Lincoln: But on the other hand, they're throwing out a lot of the coolest stuff about Transformers. I mean... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=468 |
| Delicious Ambilavence | [[Abe Lincoln looks ambivalent]] / Punxsutawney Phil: Uncle Abe, what does "ambilavent" mean? / Abe Lincoln: Wha-huh? / Punxsutawney Phil: You said you were ambilavent about the Twansfomews! / Abe Lincoln: Oh, uh well ambivalence is like if you have mixed feelings about a thing... / [[Punxsutawney... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=469 |
| More Comics About George's Fear of Plants | Abraham Lincoln: Oh schnapps! I just realized why George chopped down that cherry tree! / George Washington: What! No you didn't! / Abe: George. It's OK. You lashed out at that cherry tree because you were afraid, didn't you? / Washington: I cannot tell a lie... I am hella scared of cherry trees. / Abe:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=470 |
| Bacon Over Easy | Lizzie [[asleep]]: ZZZZZZZZ... / Lincoln: Man, I am so over bacon. / Lizzie [[startled awake]]: Huh! What! Bacon? / Lincoln: Yeah, like, I used to love bacon. I'd have bacon with breakfast instead of sausage. I'd get bacon on a baked potato. I'd upgrade a burger to one with bacon. Now it's like I... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=471 |
| The Opposite of Rational | [[Amelia Earhart, Washington and two silhouetted figures are laughing]]
/ Darwin: Then I say, "That's not a car, it's a rental PENGUIN!" / Lincoln: Haha! Speaking of that, does anyone else have this thing where you're irrationally afraid that like when you go around a corner, someone driving an invisible... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=472 |
| The Declaration of Independence | Abraham Lincoln: You wanna know something that's awesome? The US Declaration of Independence! / George Washington: Of course it's awesome: I wrote it! / Lincoln: What! No you didn't! Thomas Jefferson mostly wrote it. / Washington: THAT hack? Yeah, right. He stole it all from me. / Washington:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=473 |
| Down at the Bucket Store | [[Lincoln is looking at buckets]]
/ Lincoln [[thinking]]: Hmm... I wonder which is the best one. How can you even tell? They all look pretty... buckety. / Freud: Abraham! I didn't expect to run into you here, at the bucket store, but I'm glad I caught up with you! / Lincoln [[thinking]]: Ugh, what does... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=474 |
| Mental Hygiene | [[Lincoln opens his eyes]] / Lincoln: Ugh... where am I? / Freud: You're in a friggin' mental institution! Because you're friggin' mental! / Lincoln: I'm not mental! I just wanted to buy a bucket! / Freud: You think invisible cars are real. In my professional opinion, that is totally friggin'... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=475 |
| Youtube Comments | [[Lincoln is using a laptop]]
/ Lincoln: Holy crud crotches. / [[Laptop slams shut with sound effect "DISGUST!"]]
/ Lincoln: I swear, YouTube comments are seriously the worst thing in the whole world. / [[Future Lincoln in futuristic headgear]]
/ Future Lincoln: ABRAHAM LINCOLN. I am you from the future.... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=476 |
| More Youtube Comments | Edgar Allan Poe: Hey, Abe! Were you talking about how horrible Youtube comments are? / Lincoln and RoboLincoln: Hey.
/ Poe: Oh, uh, hey Abe and um, RoboAbe. / Poe: Anyway, yeah! Youtube comments. I don't even understand how they are so horrible, but they are. They're the most, like, hate-inspiring thing... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=477 |
| Physics and Physicality | Lincoln [[scowling]]: GRR! I'm so mad I could head-butt a baby kitten in the face! / Washington: Why? What happened? / Lincoln: Well! Let me tell you! I-- / Washington: Actually, I realize now that I don't care. A more interesting question is what do you think would happen if you did that? Would it... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=478 |
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