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| Jibes & Jabs | [[Bismarck rams his helmeted self into the back of Lincoln's head]]
/ Bismarck: Outta my way, chump! / Lincoln [[to the back of Bismarck's head as he continues out of the frame]]: Watch where you're going, you... you... ...you big dink-head! / Lincoln: I really need to work on my insults. / LATER,... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=509 |
| Imagination | [[Queen Elizabeth and Rasputin in frame together]]
/ Lizzie: Oh! Grigori! Have you seen Abraham around? / Rasputin: Hmm? Oh, yeah. He's over there. He's been acting pretty weird today. / [[Liz turn behind her and sees Abe behind her, he has something over his eyes.]] / Lizzie: Is he holding cardboard... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=510 |
| This Is Where the Party Ends | Lincoln: So hey Zombie Mark Twain! Are you sure you're really a zombie? Haha! Because I've never seen you, like, shamble around a bunch or eat anyone's brains! / Zombie Mark Twain: Excuse me! I think I will be taking my leave of this party now. Good evening.
/ Queen Elizabeth II: Oh my! I also will retire. / Lincoln:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=511 |
| Flags of our Forefathers | Lincoln: Dude Washington why'd you have to make the American flag so boring. Stars? Stripes? BO. RING. / Lincoln: Like half of all countries have a cooler flag than us. There are flags that have like a machete on them, or machine guns, or a two-headed killer eagle! / Washington: OK look. A) it's symbolic... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=512 |
| Sound Defects | [[Lincoln is fleeing sound effects made into physical realities]]
/ < http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=513 |
| 3-Way Calling | [[Lincoln on the phone]]
/ Lincoln: Y'ello, Abe here. Oh hey Edison! What it is, my man! / [[Edison on the phone]]
/ Edison: Hey dude, what are you up to? I was thinking of having a little thing at my place. There'd be food and video games and such! / Lincoln: Aw, sorry dude! I've got plans. Me and Tesla... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=514 |
| Vampire Dickens | Vampire Dickens: A boo hoo hoo! Woe is me! Boo hoo hoooo! / Lincoln: Vampire Charles Dickens! Why are you crying! I thought vampires couldn't even have any tears. / Vampire Dickens: *Sniff!* Oh, hey Lincoln. I'm just sad because I don't know what to do. No one here has a neck. / Lincoln: Oh! So you... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=515 |
| Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter | [[Lincoln has two puncture wounds in forehead]]
/ Lincoln: All right you sack of undead crap, tell me where he's hiding. / Zombie Mark Twain: Excuse me? / Lincoln: Vampire Dickens! That son of a crock tricked me and sucked my blood! Out of my head! I know how you undead novelists like to be in league... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=516 |
| Mr. Talks A Bunch | Lincoln: Hey Skeleton Shakespeare, I wanna talk to you. / Skeleton Shakespeare: OH LOOK AT THIS GUY MR. TALKS. MR. TALKS A BUNCH. MR. WANTS TO SAY HIS MUSHY FEELINGS INTO THE AIR. / Lincoln: WILL YOU CRAM A CLOCK IN IT I AM SICK TO CRAP OF THIS FAKE CONFIDENCE BULLHONKEY EVERYONE LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=517 |
| Enter the Vampire | [[Six bats flying around]] / [[Thirteen bats flying around]] / [[Geez, I dunno, fifty or more bats flying around]] / [[Bats coalesce into Vampire Charles Dickens' beard and hair]] / [[Three bats fly around Vampire Dickens]] / Lincoln: I can see the headline now: VAMPIRE MAKES DRAMATIC ENTRANCE WITH... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=518 |
| Vampire Fight! | [[Lincoln has a stake and looks pretty angry]]
/ Lincoln: You sucked the wrong deceased ex-president's blood this time, Vampire Charles Dickens! / Vampire Charles Dickens (VCD): Good luck with that one, chump-banana. / [[The stake flies at VCD, presumably thrown by Lincoln]]
/ Lincoln (offscreen): Hya! / [[VCD... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=519 |
| Lincoln's Middle Name | [[Punxsutawney Phil is wearing a beanie hat with a propeller.]]
/ Punxsutawney Phil: Hey Mr. Lincoln, I learned in school today that you've got no middle name! How come you don't have one? / Lincoln: But I DO have a middle name! It's - / Washington: Abe, you don't have a middle name. For that matter,... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=520 |
| No Woman = No Cry | [[Lincoln has coffee. Let's hope it is SBC and not Charbuck's]]
/ Lincoln: Man, who ever knew Bob Marley was such a misogynist! / [[Washington is reading the paper]]
/ Washington:Yeah... wait, what?? / Lincoln: Come on man, don't be naive. "No Woman No Cry?" He's obviously saying that if you don't want... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=521 |
| Lincoln's New Job | Lincoln [[Thinking to himself]] : Well Abe, you've finally landed your dream job. Ooh, I hope my boss is nice. Uh-oh! I'd better not be late on my first day! / SOON.
/ Shackleton [[With a pencil behind his ear]]: All right Jennifer the first rule of marketing is screw up and you're fired. Bang! I'm dropping... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=522 |
| Young Martha Washington | [[Lincoln and Washington are chatting, Abe looks a little worried]]
/ Washington: So get this, THEN I'm making out with four chicks at once and objectifying the crap out of them and-
/ Lincoln: George, cheese it! It's Young Martha Washington!! / [[Young Martha in frame, she's kind of a looker. Her freckles... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=523 |
| Here's to you, Mrs. Washington | Lincoln: So uh, hey Young Martha Washington. Uh, so I noticed you whomped me pretty good on the head with your umbrella. / Young Martha: You seem like quite an observant fellow. / Lincoln: Yeah, um, people say that about me! Well, not often. Anyway, um! I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=524 |
| Turnabout Is Fair Play | Washington: Dude, what gives! I heard you asked out Young Martha! / Lincoln: Yeah, she said I should work on my sales pitch and get back to her. Then she called me a Real Champ and punched my arm. / Washington: Whatever! Not the point! Dude, that's my wife. You can't just ask out my wife! / Lincoln:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=525 |
| All the Latest Gossip | Punxsutawney Phil: Man José, did you hear the latest creepy weirdness Lincoln and Washington are up to?
/ José de San Martin: Nah, dude, you know I been busy working on a new kind of popcorn for cats. / Punxsutawney Phil: Oh, uh, right. Well anyways so a while back if you don't remember, Washington was... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=526 |
| New Inventions | Lincoln: Daaang, it's been a long time since I invented any awesome new things for the world! I gotta get on that! / [[Lincoln turns around quickly, facing backward]] / [[Lincoln turns back around quickly, facing forward. He is now wearing awesome green shades.]]
/ Lincoln: All right! / [[Lincoln is... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=527 |
| Unreliabilty in Narration | Lincoln [[sort of angrily]]: Hey! Hey Poe! What the crock is this, man? I just read your story "The Tell-Tale Heart" and it makes no sense! The guy says over and over how he's not crazy, but he's obviously /so crazy/. / Poe: Oh, well yeah, that's called an unreliable narrator and it's- / Lincoln: No,... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=528 |
| Knock Knock | Lincoln: Oh man! Freud! I totally just thought of a new knock-knock joke! Knock knock. / Freud [[with a cigar]]: Uh, who's there? / Lincoln: Helen!
/ Freud [[out of the frame]]: Huh?
/ Lincoln: Helen Damnation! / Freud: I don't get it, you're a man named Helen? Is that the joke? Is this a transgender... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=529 |
| Discussion of the Gods | Lincoln: Hahaha, whaaat? No way. No way Thor does that! / Ichlor: I telling you man! All that guy do all day is sit around in viking hat and think of more things to pee in. / Lincoln: Haha, all right. Well what about Zeus? Do you know that guy? / Ichlor: Ugh! Don't get Ichlor started! / Ichlor: "GUYS... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=530 |
| Memory Aids | Lincoln: Man, I am such a doofus sometimes! / Washington: Can't argue with you there! / [[Lincoln is looking nonpussed in a circular frame between previous and following frames]] / Lincoln: Anyway, as I was saying, earlier I was sitting around and it was cold but I just totally forgot that I could... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=531 |
| Gesticulation | Lincoln: So yeah, speaking of barf-
/ Washington [[out of frame]]: We weren't-
/ Lincoln: I was thinking, you know how the like symbol for barf is sticking your finger in your mouth kinda? / Lincoln: But then if you just point your finger at your mouth, basically the same gesture but outside your mouth,... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=532 |
| Walls | Lincoln: Hey Amelia! You here? I somehow messed up my laptop so it only works upside down. / Amelia: Oh, um, hey Abe. I don't know if anyone ever told you, but you should probably at least knock before you just come into a lady's home. / Young Martha: Amelia? Who's at the door? Oh. Hey, Lincoln. / Lincoln:... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=533 |
| Loving Lovers in Love | [[Abe is running whilst talking to himself.]]
/ Abe: Man. Way to go. You really are like the biggest of all Cassanovas all right. / Abe: "I'm Abe Lincoln. I think I'll awkwardly hang around and stare at the wall like a weirdo creep until the girl I like has to politely show me to the door." / [[Taft... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=534 |
| Treeface | Abraham Lincoln [[in darkness]]: Hmm I bet if I even -have- power tools they'd be down here in the basement.
/ Where's the dumb light. / < http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=535 |
| Broc it to me | [[Ernest Shackleton has a pencil behind his ear]]
/ Shackleton: Lincoln! You're only three minutes early for work today. The first rule of marketing is to shape up or ship out. Bang! / Lincoln: Sorry Mr. Shackleton! I'll do better! / Shackleton: Sorry only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, Betty.... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=536 |
| Pot Luck | Lincoln: Hey man Charles Darwin! Haven't seen you in a while, dude! What've you been up to? / Darwin: Oh, the usual. Getting older, thinking about life and what I've made of it. / Lincoln: Ah, yeah, cool, I did that once. / Darwin: O-Oh yeah? / Lincoln: Yeah, but then I realized that if I ever stop... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=537 |
| Being Nice | Abraham Lincoln: There is too much of mean dudes and jerks in this work-a-day world. Good thing Abe Lincoln is here to set things straight! Starting NOW, I am going to be so nice to everyone and fix this crazy planet! / Abe [[to Queen Elizabeth II]]: Liz, baby! Lookin' great! That crown really brings... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=538 |
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