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Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Hey pause it. I'm gonna go drop a deuce. / I.e. pitch a loaf, download some brownware, do the royal squat as they say. / Whatever! Just go. / Have fun in there! / I will! / *unpause* / WHOOOOO!!
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread I think today I will make the world a better place! I will spread joy through random compliments! / Why hello there, Jose de San Martin! I find your girth to be quite satisfactory today! / Wh... what? / Well, that's one satisfied customer! Let's see who else's day we can brighten! / Greetings, Queen...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread THE END / Nope. Still lame and boring. / Crap, here's comes the last panel... I mean first panel! And I don't think it worked! / Do you think it's working? I don't know if it's working... / Yeah, that's the ticket. Gimmicks solve every problem. / I figure if the comic is backtwards, it won't matter...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Some people have been bugging me lately about my famous stove-pipe hat. / "Why don't you wear the hat, Lincoln?" / "Lincoln, I think your hat is cool, you should wear it!" / "Lincoln, put these underpants on your head -- that'll look funny." / Give it up, guys, I'm not wearing that thing! It's bad luck!...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Okay, so this guy, some professor, has written a book about me called "The Real Lincoln." It's all about how horrible I was (contrary to popular belief) and how I ruined this country by overstepping the bounds of the federal government by fighting the American Civil War. / It also talks about how I...
 
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread current mood: anguished and/or tortured / current music: really sad boy / My life is pure pain! / My soul is like a crushed rose carelessly tossed in the fires of ennui. / Goodness! That Lincoln is so deep. / My heart tears with every breath, every thought, and the anguish drags my soul. / I fear...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread I think today's comic should be about ME! / I'm the prettiest. / But Queen, the comic's called Thinkin' Lincoln... / IT CAN BE CALLED ALL ABOUT PRETTY LIZZY / Anyway! / ALL ABOUT PRETTY LIZZY / Abraham! Come tell me how pretty and nice I am! / Oh Queen. You are so pretty. And nice. / I know....
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Hey now! What's this? / It looks like my P.L.O.T. device has been activated! / Hello there. / ! / Who are you, and how did you get here?? / I'm you -- from the past! I figured out that you were going to invent the P.L.O.T. device in the future so I just made a note to use it in the future to send my...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Robert, my boy, what have you been up to? You were what, 22 when I died? / I was 21. You died a few months before my birthday. Anyway, what I've been up to since you died is being the ambassador to the UK, the US Secretary of War, and President of the Pullman Palace Car Company. Then I died. / I...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread So son, two questions: First, how come you don't look like the pictures I've seen of you? / Well the time travel gag wouldhardly have worked if I didn't look right. All I had to do was shave right and get a haircut. / Wow, you'd go that far for a joke? I'm impressed! Ok, so, next question: what...
 
Gettin' Groceries Man, I hate grocery shopping, especially when I can't weasel out of doing it. / Let's see, what do I need to get? I'll just consult my stereotypical looking grocery list here... / Okay, milk, eggs, bread, laundry detergent... oh, lameness. I hate it when she has me pick up her... lady contraptions. / All...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Today is a day like any other... any other day that is fraught with INAPPROPRIATE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, that is! / Someone I loved dearly recently died! / That's awful! My condolences. / Truly, this is the happiest day of my life! / Things are so boring around here. I wish something interesting would...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread In today's comic, I represent the writ of Habeas Corpus. / I represent the U.S. court system, circa the mid 1860's. / And I will be playing the part of Abraham Lincoln (the part I was born to play)! / Today on... / Oversimplified American History Reenactments / Yeah, so I basically allow prisoners...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Okay, so I just saw Blade Runner. I know pretty much everyone saw it years ago, but give me a break -- I've been dead for 140 years! / So anyway, I heard this movie was good? I thought it was pretty boring and lame, to be honest! / Yeah, so maybe when the movie came out, all that "symbolic" imagery...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Well, well, well, if it isn't Abraham Lincoln. / Rasputin! You old dog, what are you doing here? / Oh I'm just in town for a few days at a conference. / Neat! So what have you been up to? Been keeping busy? Seems like I haven't seen you in ages! / I've been pretty busy! See, when they used my...
 
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Today, let's play... / IRRATIONAL VEHEMENCE ABOUT MINOR ANNOYANCES / Grr... I hate timezones! They make it difficult to coordinate with friends who live far away! / I want to SMASH timezones in the FACE with a HAMMER! / I really hate it when I'm at a urinal and some guy comes up to the one next to...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Oh, Mewsevelt, you're so LAZY. / Hey, who ate my LASAGNA. / Mewsevelt, how could I stay mad at you, you lovable scamp! / I love naps because I am a cat.
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread How awesome are elephants? I posit that they are in fact VERY awesome! / Man, elephants are so badass! They don't care about anybody. Elephants are so sweet that I wrote this song about them. It's called "Bad Mojo Elephant." / Cue the music, Washy! / Bomp chikka bomp bomp BOMP chikka BOMP bomp bomp / I'm...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread "If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?" Haha! That's so true! Crazy vegetarians! / I think that's pretty debatable, Abraham. For one thing, people are made of meat. Why don't you eat them? / Who says I DON'T! / Haha, just kidding. No, there's an easy answer to your question:...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Let's talk about... POLITICS! / Hey George, how do you feel about politicians? / They're scum! You know what you call 1000 dead politicians buried at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! / Ha! What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead politician in the road? There are skidmarks...
 
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread I have discovered the secret to success! / From a Mr. Snoop D. Dogg! / It's all so clear to me now. All you have to do to get everyone to love you is to change the words you say to end with the same sound so that they always rhyme! / Lizzle thizzle! / Darwizzle! Mizzle nizzle whizzle thizzle hizzle,...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Man, I get the impression that Europe is pretty weird! / Yeah, like European pizza? Totally weird! / I hear that in Europe, people wear shoes without socks! / I guess they use the metric system and drive tiny cars? Kinda strange! / Also: socialism? What's up with that? / Ugh. Have you idiots...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread BEARD BATTALION: ASSEMBLE! / RASPUTIN! / DARWIN! / LINCOLN! / Merge to form: Mecha-Beardtron! / All right... let's go get tacos!
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Hey -- don't you hate it when something perfectly normal gets so associated with something bad that people kind of forget about the thing's normal use? / Um, maybe? What are you talking about? / I'm so glad you asked! / Okay, so today I saw a guy walking down the street with a backpack and a crowbar....
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread I've noticed that a lot of other comics regularly feature powerful religious figures as characters who make cameos or are even regular cast members. / For instance, I've noticed the Judeo-Christian God, His son Jesus, and even the Devil make regular appearances in a number of comics! / Why can't my comic...
 
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Today's comic brought to you by: NERDS / Nerds: Not Really Better Than You, But They Sure Think They Are! / Hey George, what OS do you run? / Oh I run Gentoo Linux. I compile it myself, of course, since it's so much better that way. / That's cool. I dualboot OS X and Yellow Dog Linux. / OS X is pretty...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread "Hello, Your Majesty," he whispered. / Coldly, she replied, "Hello." / "Elizabeth, it doesn't have to be like this! It can be like it was again!" / "Abraham! Stop it! You must get over this. You are only making it more difficult." / "You're tearing me apart, Liz!" he cried. "Why can't you just look...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Haha you guys, I can totally speak Latin and you can't. / Check it out: / ECCE ILLA MAMMEATA! / What does that mean? / Ha! Wouldn't YOU like to know! Too bad you're not cool like me and know Latin! / Oh! Here's a good one! / CREDO NONNULLOS HIC MORTUOS ESSE. / Hey, Lincoln! I got some Latin for...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread To whom it may concern: / I wish to make a complaint about the insensitive nature of this internet comic. I find it highly offensive the way you (the author or the authors) regularly make light of the assassination of one of this nation's greatest presidents. / Frankly, I find this lack of respect for...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread OWWW! MOTHER OF BUTT! / Goodness! Are you all right? / Yeah, I'll be fine. I just stubbed my toe, but it REALLY hurts. / Can I just say, I am not a fan of pain. If pain had sporting events, I would not show up with my face and belly painted in pain's colors with my buddies and we wouldn't spell...
 

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