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The Secret of Science [[Lincoln, wearing goggles, looks at two beakers]] / [[Flips goggles up]] / Lincoln: Yes! I have discovered the secret... of SCIENCE! / [[Darwin appears]] / Darwin: Th-the secret of science? Whatever do you mean? / [[Lincoln with goggles up]] / Lincoln: The secret is that science is fun to do with friends!...
Lincoln Is So Insensitive Lincoln: / Washington: / Lincoln: No, please! / Washington: / Lincoln: I don't want to die! / Washington: It's always what YOU want, isn't it! You never...
Unawesome Guest Comic Guys do you know how many of the seven times the world has been saved the saving has been done by me? / Yes! Two! / Once when George Washington totally flushed earth down Atlus' toilet. / And once more when I beat the devil in a game of Tekken when the stakes were the world! / You're Street Fighter! / This...
Wondermark Guest Comic Heh heh heh... this is gonna be so awesome. / Hey man, what's going on? / Shh, it's ringing, it's ringing / {{Old Phone}}<> / Hello? / Um, yes, is Billy home? / There's no Billy here. / I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number. / Ah hah ha ha ha! That's classic, man, classic / What are you...
Steve Carey's Guest Comic [[Lincoln is dressed up like Michael Jackson, in a red suit and wearing one purple glove, holding a microphone]] / Lincoln: Oh Billie Jean is not my lover... She's just a girl who sez that... I am the one... But the kid is no my son! OO! OO!! / [[Lincoln dressed as Michael Jackson stands in front...
 
Reprographics Guest Comic [[Photograph of the Washington Monument at night]] / Washington Monument: Yo Linc. 'Sup? / [[Different photograph of Washington Monument, also at night]] / Washington Monument: It's Big Daddy Wash. 'Sup main man? / [[Photograph of Lincoln Monument at night]] / Lincoln Monument: You know I like to...
No Comic Today Lincoln: This is a comic about how there's no comic today. / Washington: Whoa! Can we do that? / Lincoln: It seems to be working so far! / Washington: Wow this is awesome! We should totally do this more often. Do we even need to do a punchline? / Lincoln: We don't usually have much of a punchline,...
Text Emoticons So guys, what's up with CHAT ROOMS / Chat rooms are for pre-teens and child predators. So they're pretty much like the rest of the internet. / Haha, yeah. My favorite thing about chat rooms is TEXT EMOTICONS / Like this is one of my favorites: D: / ...
POWERFUL BUFF MUSCLES ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN NAMED ABE LINCOLN WHO WAS VERY MUSCLE BUFF AND MANLY AND ALSO POWERFUL. / (BUFF FOREHEAD MUSCLES) / HE WAS SEARCHING STRONGLY IN THE NIGHT FOR MUSCLEY MAN THINGS TO DO OR BREAK SUCH AS FIGHTING OR GLASS / (LOOKING AROUND) / HE VERY POWERFULLY DECIDED TO EAT BRICKS AND...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Lincoln: So. / Washington: So. / Lincoln: So. / Washington: So. / Lincoln: So. / Washington: So. / Lincoln: Ugh, this is ridiculous. We're both adults. We can't just pretend that what happened last night didn't! / Washington: Actually, I'm pretty sure that we can. Can and SHOULD. / Lincoln: You said that...
 
Lyrical Assumptions Lincoln: So does anyone else ever do this thing where you kind of assume that anytime someone is referred to as "you" or part of "us" in a song that the song is talking about a girl and romance even though that's probably often not a safe assuomption to make? / Lincoln: Because I totally do! / Rasputin:...
Here is Your Posterior, Sir Abraham Lincoln: You know, I really don't get the expression "to have your ass handed to you." / Queen Elizabeth: Oh, well it means - / Abraham Lincoln: I know what it MEANS, Liz, but what I don't get is where it came from. / Abraham Lincoln: Now, I think it's safe to assume we're not talking about...
That Wacky Mewsevelt Panel 1: / [[Lincoln is sleeping]] / Panel 2: / [[Close-up on Mewsevelt's face]] / <> / Panel 3: / [[Lincoln wakes up. He looks frightened.]] / Lincoln: What! Who's there! What's going on! / Panel 4: / [[Lincoln seems to have calmed down]] / Lincoln: Oh, it's just you, Mewsevelt! Why were...
An Experiment Lincoln: So guess what! I've been conducting an EXPERIMENT! / Washington: Im sure no amount of disdain or disinterest expressed on my part will stop you from elaborating, so please tell me about your experiment. / Lincoln: I knew you'd want to hear about it! So yeah, I've been experimenting with ENUNCIATION....
Beardtron Meeting Minutes So I was reading in the paper that some guy recently shot his pregnant girlfriend and then himself. / What's up with murder-suicides! Pretty lame, am I right? Anyway, who wants nachos? / "Pretty lame" is all you have to say about murder-suicides?? I'm speechless. / Yeah, why would you even bring that...
 
From the Mailbag Today on Thinkin' Lincoln, we're going to answer a question from one of our readers! / At Thinkin' Lincoln, we answer the tough questions so you don't have to or whatever. / Brent writes: HEY CAN YOU ASK THAT WASHINGTON GUY WHATS UP WITH WRITING AN S LIKE A FANCY F ANYWAY I MEAN SERIOUSLY THATS PRETTY...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Hey, Abraham, who was the 12th US president? / Zachary Taylor, I believe. / Ha! Shows what you know! David Rice Atchison was the 12th US president - he was president for one day between Polk and Taylor. You see, Polk's term ended on a Sunday but Taylor postponed his swearing in until the next day rather...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Lincoln: Guys, you know who is totally not that tough? / Lincoln: Popeye is totally not that tough. / [[Blank panel]] / Lincoln: Yeah, I know! I'm way stronger than he is. I'm the Illinois Rail Splitter! / Lincoln: I'm practically MADE of muscles! And I'm strong all the time, not just after I've...
The Best Sentence Ever [[Lincoln appears to be deep in thought]] / [[Lincoln opens mouth and exclamation mark appears over his head]] / Lincoln: You guys, you guys! I totally just thought of the best sentence ever! Check this out: "The wizard quizzically stared at the stairs, his gizzard impaired by a bilious pear." / Queen...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Lincoln: Ugh... / Elizabeth: Abraham, you look terrible! You must see a doctor immediately! / Lincoln: No way, I hate doctors! I'm not going to see any doctor! / Lincoln: Besides, I don't need to! I've got all these apples! [[There is a pile of apples next to Lincoln.]] / Elizabeth: How will a pile...
 
Quacks! Queen Elizabeth II: Why do you hate doctors, Abraham? That's silly. / Abraham Lincoln: I hate them because they are all crazy quacks who couldn't give a proper diagnosis to save their lives! / Charles Darwin: Our Mr. Lincoln here is suffering from a bad case of green face-paint. Observe how easily...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Quaaaack!! / ! / Intriguing! It seems that you have quacked so much that you evolved into some kind of man-duck! / No way, I intelligent designed into some kind of man-duck. / Uh, ok. Anyway, I don't have time to stand around dressed like an old-timey doctor now! I must go revise my famous theory!...
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Lincoln: Whoa! Holy crap! I'm like totally hand-drawn!! / Washington: What, you didn't get the memo? / Queen: Shut up George, there was no memo! / Lincoln: Being hand-drawn is so weird! I'm all woobly-looking and I'm not consistent from panel to panel... / Queen: In fairness, if we were normally...
Woo No-Pants Party Lincoln: Something's wrong today... I feel really different... / Washington: Um, I think I know what it is - you're not wearing any pants! / Lincoln: No, that can't be it. I mean, neither of us is wearing pants. We're having a no-pants party, after all! No, it's something else. But what? Oh! I forgot...
PUNK RAWK!! Lincoln: Did you guys know that I am totally punk rock?? [[Lincoln is wearing a green mohawk, and his beard is pink.]] / Washington: What? Since when? / Lincoln: Ever since I learned about The Man, you know, and how he's bad or whatever? Oh and the government is bad too. / Lincoln: See, check this...
 
Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread Van Buren: Hey you guys! Check out this awesome thing that happened to me! It's so crazy, you'll never believe it! / Van Buren: I went to the video store to see if they had this rare import of a certain anime movie, but they didn't. I totally knew they wouldn't! Isn't that just nutty? / Van Buren:...
I'm Sorry, Van Buren Lincoln: So, I feel kind of bad. / Washington: Why? About what? / Lincoln: For making fun of Van Buren. / Lincoln: I mean, sure, the guy is violently boring, but it's not like he can help it. He's a nice guy! He's just really, really boring. Which doesn't make him a bad person or anything. / Washington:...
All the Hippest Trends Lincoln: Man I think I need a new look. I've had this one for like 140 years. / Lincoln: I bet I would look totally hott with like a huge walrus mustache! / Washington: Geez, Lincoln, way to jump on the friggin' bandwagon. / Queen Elizabeth: Yeah, you're such a poseur. George and I have been into...
Groundhog Day 2006 Radio: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties because it's COOOLD out there today! / Radio: It's cold out there every day. What is this-- Miami Beach? / Radio: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties because it's COOOLD out there today! / Radio: It's cold...
How Very Freudian Lincoln: I've been kind of depressed lately / Freud: It's because you want to have sex with your mother, of course. / Lincoln: Sigmund Freud! What are you doing here? And no I don't! / Freud: I am here to help you with your mental problems! / Freud: And of course you want to have sex with your mother....
 

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