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| Sleep Talking | [[Lincoln's eyes are closed; he is ostensibly sleeping.]]
/ Lincoln: ... no ... no more cantaloupes... / [[Washington is holding a dictophone]]
/ Washington: (Oh man, Abe's talking in his sleep again! With luck he'll say something embarrassing for Mr. Dictaphone here...) Cantaloupes, eh Abe?
/ Dictaphone: *click* / Lincoln: ... man you don't... you don't even feel it... the pain is gone, but the milk... is terminal... / Washington: (Haha! I've got to keep him talking!) What don't I feel, Abe?
/ Dictaphone: *whirrr* / Lincoln: ...no, I told you! Georgy I told you don't touch that! You already stole my belt armor... No, I don't want you down there! / [[Washington is wearing goggles and has ashes on his face; a blow torch is burning the dictaphone}} http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=209 |
| Food Is My Favorite Thing To Eat | Lincoln: Ugh... I ate waaay too much! Why do I do this to myself? / Taft: I know how you feel, buddy! / Lincoln: It may surprise you to learn that I do not find this news terribly comforting. / Lincoln: Blah! I am so bad at listening to my head instead of my tummy! I should stop eating when I've had enough, but it's so tasty that I just end up eating more untill I'm really uncomfortably full! I'm pretty mad at myself about it, actually! / Taft: Easy solution there, old bean! Just take up a nice, theraputic eating disorder such as bulimia nervosa. It'll be an all-you-can-eatin', all-you-can-barfin' good time! / Lincoln: Ah, eating disorders: the cause of and the solution to all of life's problems. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=210 |
| VIDEO GAMES | Lincoln: Hey Washington, did you hear the new about VIDEO GAMES?? / Washington: Oh my Gonzales, yes! All the announcements! / Washington: Like did you hear that they annonced VIDEO GAMES and also VIDEO GAMES! / [[speech mixing together in background]]Totally! Can you believe that VIDEO GAMES is going to make VIDEO GAMES and it will have VIDEO GAMES and VIDEO GAMES oh and, and, and VIDEO GAMES isn't that unbelievable! Yeah, it is! But what I'm REALLY excited about is VIDEO GAMES on the VIDEO GAMES!! It's going to have VIDEO GAMES and VIDEO GAMES, not to mention VIDEO GAMES!!! do you think VIDEO GAMES though? I don't know, but VIDEO GAMES will definitely VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES and VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES and VIDEO GAMES plus VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES and VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES VIDEO GAMES / Lincoln[[tounge out]]: Ghhhhuuuh oh man, I'm so excited I want to lick VIDEO GAMES all over! / Washington: Dammit, no! I still can't play half my games after last time! http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=211 |
| The Leather Year | Abe Lincoln: Queen Elizabeth II, will you marry me?
/ Queen Elizabeth II: Yes! / [[a while later]]
/ Abe Lincoln and Queen Elizabeth II: Yay we're married! / [[two years and a couple months later]]
/ Abe Lincoln: I think I will start an internet web comic! It will be about a regular living person who is not famous at all and his totally plausible friends! / Abe Lincoln: I will call my comic "Thoughtful Jones" and update it every weekday of the week! / [[around ten months later]]
/ Oh my, it is our three year wedding anniversary! But I need to write a comic! I know, I will write a comic wherein my main character, Fred Jones, will experience my own situation but with the important details switched! I just hope my millions of devoted readers will understand why I am not doin a real comic today! / [[this comic is a work of fiction]]
/ Any similarity to actual events is like, totally, a coincidence, man. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=212 |
| Lincoln is on the Smart Patrol - Thinkin' Lincoln - The Coolest Webcomic Since Sliced Bread | Lincoln [[wearing the Devo "Energy Dome"]]: So, have you spuds heard about this Devo 2.0 thing? / Jose De San Martin: Uh, no, I don't think so. / Lincoln: I guess it's a group of teenagers singing old Devo songs? And the singer is a girl? And it's produced by Disney? / Lincoln: From what I've read, Devo is on board with it. They play the backing instruments on the album and direct the videos, I guess. Though Mark Mothersbaugh has admitted that the whole thing "might be really stupid." / Jose De San Martin: That's pretty weird, I guess. By the way, did you know you have a flower pot on your head? / Lincoln: Oh no! / [[Flowers planted in stovepipe hat]] http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=213 |
| Utilitarianism | Lincoln: I think I'm going to become a utilitarian! / Washington: You mean, like, utilitarianism? As in the idea that morality is based on those actions which bring about the most overall good consequences? / Lincoln: Yeah, sure, whatever. I'm mostly in it for the sweet utility belt you get the wear! / Washington: Utilitarians get to wear utility belts? I guess that makes sense. Does that mean Batman's a utilitarian? / Lincoln: Don't be a fool, George. Batman is a ninja. / Washington: With each passing day, I learn a new way in which ninjas are similar to utilitarians. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=214 |
| Faces and Feces Are Only One Letter Apart | Lincoln: OooOOoh I'm a fishy face! / George: If you're not careful, your face will stick like that! / Lincoln: If you're not careful, your face will stick like that butt face you're making. Oh wait, that's your normal face! / George: It looks like your face already got stuck like a really ugly president. / Lincoln: Yeah, well it looks like your face got stuck like some dog barf and then the dog ate the barf and pooped it out and then he ate the poop and barfed it up again. / And that's how they came up for the idea for the new one dollar bill. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=215 |
| Baby Gays | Lincoln: Did you know that when Q-Tips were first sold, they were called "Baby Gays?" / Queen Elizabeth: I did not know that. / Lincoln: Heehee! Baby Gays! Does Baby Gay want his gay widdle bottle? Heehee! / Lincoln: Words sure change a lot over time, huh! It's pretty IRONIC, isn't it? / Queen Elizabeth: Um, if by "ironic" you mean "in no way ironic, and in fact a well established and expected truism of language," then yes. / Lincoln: I did mean that, thank you very much. I do that sometimes, where I say a word but I mean something different than the normal definition. Like when I said "thank you very much" just now, I actually meant "why don't you go soak in a big vat of toad pee." http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=216 |
| Eating Prowess | Lincoln: I bet I could eat more hotdogs than a bear. / Washington: Mmmm...DOUBTFUL! Didn't you see that Kobayashi guy when HE tried to go up against a bear in a hotdog eating contest? He got totally spanked! And that guy is like humanity's greatest eater! / Lincoln: Whatever man, I think I can do it. / Washington: Think about what you are saying, man! Bears are like perfectly evolved for eating tons of hotdogs. You'd be lucky to cram 3 or 4 hotdogs down your gullet in the time it takes a bear to eat a few dozen. It's moot anyway, since you are totally scared of bears! / Lincoln: Am not! / Washington [[with bear ears and nose]]: RAR! / Lincoln: What is truly frightening is the way you use the slightest excuse to get dressed up like that. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=217 |
| Lawnmower, Man | Washington: So, you should probably mow your lawn sometime, dude.
/ Lincoln: Meh, I'll do it later. I've got video games what needs playin'. / Washington: Dude, this is really getting ludicrous now. You need to cut this grass.
/ Lincoln: It'll probably die on its own eventually. / Washington: This is insane! We are INSIDE. You really need to mow your lawn, man!
/ Lincoln: I've almost got this game beat! I'll mow it later. / Box: "All right, I guses I'll mow it now," said Lincoln, but it was too late. Everything he held dear had already been devoured by the hungry grass.
/ Lawn: Master, we wish to thank you for allowing us to grow and consume this delicious planet.
/ Lincoln: Uh, no problem I guess. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=218 |
| The Forbidden Door | Washington: Yo! Abe! / Lincoln [[reading a newspaper]]: Whatdya want? / Washington: What's up with this door over here by the bathroom? I'm pretty sure I've never been in there before. Is it a closet or something? / Lincoln: Oh, that's Mewsevelt's room.
/ Washington: Um, your cat has his own room? Can I see it?
/ Lincoln: I wouldn't recommend it.
/ Washington: Pssh, whatever. / [[Mewsevelt sits on a pile of human skulls.]] / script on aged paper: Henceforth from this date, I, the undersigned, hereby pledge to always heed the recommendations of one Abraham Lincoln. signed, G Washington http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=219 |
| Fashionable Trends | Lincoln: So guys, I heard there were some COOL NEW TRENDS going around or whatever! Are your guys hip to them? / [[Washington has a banana taped to his head]]
/ Washington: Yeah, but you're obviously not. Absolutely everybody who's anybody is wearing bananas taped to their heads this season. / Lincoln: Wait, no, I'm cool too! / [[Lincoln has a banana taped to his head]]
/ Lincoln: See! Cool, right? / [[Elizabeth has a banana atop her crown, a clown nose, and "BUTTS" written across her cheek.]]
/ Elizabeth: You're ONLY wearing a banana taped to your head? How gauche, how passe. Truly cool people are also wearing clown noses and writing cool words like "BUTTS" on their cheeks. You just can't keep up with trends, can you?
/ Washington: *snicker* / Lincoln: I can keep up! I can keep up! / [[Lincoln has added a clown nose to his ensemble and written "ARMPIT" on his cheek. Poe has an insanely tall stovepipe hat.]]
/ Poe: Give it up, man, you'll never be cool. The new fashion is really tall stovepipe hats. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=220 |
| No Chubs | Lincoln: Hey everyone, check out my hilarious new hat! It says "NO CHUBS ALLOWED." Ha ha! / Darwin: No "chubs"? What is a chub? Isn't that a type of fish? / Lincoln: No! Well, yes. But no! I'm talking about chubby chubsters! You know, fatties. / Darwin: So, your hat is just a cheap jab at people suffering from obesity? That's pretty insensitive. Excessive obesity can cause health problems, yes, but in general there's nothing wrong with "chubby" people. Just because they don't conform to your standards of beauty doesn't make them any less people with feelings. / Lincoln: Um! Okay then, let's say it's talking about the fish! No chub FISH allowed! / MEANWHILE IN FISHGRILA, HOME OF ICHLOR, FISHY GOD OF FISH
/ Ichlor, Fishy God of Fish: RACISM! http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=221 |
| Domo Arigato | Abe: Today, I unveil my greatest invention! / Abe: I call it... AbeBot 1000! / Washington: That's your GREATEST invention? Big deal. I invented Washingtron here like hours ago. / Abe: Oh yeah? Well I bet AbeBot 1000 could totally blow up your stupid robot!
/ Washington: No way! Washingtron can take your lame droid any day! Sic him, Washingtron! / < http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=222 |
| Dave Beeth Oven | Lincoln: Friggin' mud puddle... just washed these socks... grr... / Lincoln: Oh, excuse me! I didn't see you there!
/ Lincoln: Wait, aren't you Beethoven? / Beethoven: You bet your sweet bippy I am! / Lincoln: Awesome! Hey, can I ask you a question? I'm an aspiring songwriter and I was wondering if you have any tips you could impart to someone like me, an aspiring songwriter. / Beethoven: If there's one bit of advice I'd like to impart to aspiring songwriters like yourself, it's to write songs that mean a lot to you. Write about the things you feel; turn your most powerful emotions into music! That is my advice to you. / Lincoln: Yeah, cool! That's pretty much what I've been doing. / EARLIER, AT PRACTICE:
/ Lincoln: OOOOOOOH OOH OOOOOOOOH
/ Lincoln: MUMMIES AND SKELETONS... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=223 |
| Memorial Day Was Yesterday | Lincoln: So... are Memorial Day and Veterans day pretty much the same thing? I mean, do we really need two holidays for this? / Washington: Jeez, you are so dense! There's a HUGE difference between the two holidays. / Washington: The difference is OBVIOUSLY that Memorial Day honors soldiers who have died in service of their country, while Veterans Day honors all veterans, living or dead. DUH. / Lincoln: That reminds me. I've been meaning to ask you, George: Do you ever get tired of being all disdainful and angry all the time? / Washington: Do you ever get tired of being a stupid crapface with a stupid crappy face? / Lincoln: OH YEAH WELL DO YOU EVER GET TIRED OF... A BUTT / Narrator: Hours later, Lincoln thinks of the perfect comeback he SHOULD have used.
/ Lincoln: "Do you ever get tired of TWO butts..." Yeah that would show him... http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=224 |
| On the Moon Again | Lincoln [[wearing an astronaut's bubble helmet]]: Hello, moon-friends! It sure is a nice day, here on the moon! / Queen Elizabeth II: Uh... / Lincoln: Oop! Lizzy, you'd better put on your moon-cap! You'll catch a moon-cold! / [[Lincoln has put a brown fedora on over his helmet]]
/ Lincoln: Well, I'm off to moon-work! Gotta bring home the moon-bacon if you know what I mean! / [[Lincoln is no longer wearing the fedora, but is still wearing the helmet]]
/ Lincoln: Ah, what a great moon-job this is! Yes, life on the moon sure is great! I feel moon-sorry for those poor Earth people stuck down on their silly little planet. / [[Lincoln is wearing a pair of Mickey Mouse ears; Queen Elizabeth II is wearing an astronaut's bubble helmet and a pair of Mouse ears]]
/ Caption: MEANWHILE ON EARTH
/ Lincoln: Man, this place sucks. I bet the moon is the REAL happiest place on Earth.
/ Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, it truly is. Not that I'd know. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=225 |
| Grounded Hog | [[Two identical infant heads, both wearing crowns, and the one on the right wearing an astronaut bubble helment; a label under the one on the left reads "EARTH QUEEN" and under the one on the right "MOON QUEEN"]] / Caption: MANY YEARS AGO / Shadowy Figure [[out of frame]]: ... Yes. Your Earth Majesty King George VI, your daughter is on the left, and your Moon Majesty King George VI, that's your daughter on the right. You'll be able to take them to your respective homes with in a day or so. If you'll follow me... / [[Shadowy figure, labelled "SHADOWY FIGURE" with an arrow pointing from the label to his completely shadowed face.]] / [[The astronaut's bubble helmet is now on the head of the baby on the left; a double-pronged arrow indicates that they have been switched.]] / Shadowy Figure: Muhaha! / Sound effect: SWAP! / Punxsutawney Phil: Anyway, so that's my theory. / Lincoln: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. The Queen wasn't swapped at birth with the Moon Queen. She wears that helmet and talks about the moon all the time because she's old and crazy. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=226 |
| Nasty, Brutish, and Short | Lincoln: Y'know, there's a saying. Something about how life is nasty, brutish, and short. I think that's from Hobbes. / Lincoln: Anyway, I was thinking about it, and it seems to me that this saying is really illustrative of human nature in some ways. / Lincoln: I mean ok, logically, if life is nasty and brutish, then really it's a good thing that it's at least short! But I think most people are more likely to think along the lines of "this stupid life is nasty and brutish, and you don't even get a lot of it." It's like if you went to a restaurant and complained that the food tasted terrible and you didn't even get very much. Which is definitely something people would do. / Lincoln: I suppose that's more illustrative of the human condition than human nature really, but - / Executioner: Are you quite finished? I've got a schedule to keep! / [[Lincoln's head is in a noose]]
/ Off-panel voice: Hey buddy! Move it along! People are trying to get executed here!
/ Queen Elizabeth: I know! What, does he think we have all day?
/ Jose de San Martin: Will you listen to this guy? What a gabber!
/ Lincoln: Oops! Sorry about that! I didn't mean to hold up the line! http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=227 |
| The People Like a President With Skills | Lincoln: Hey, how many pancakes do you guys think you can eat? I bet I can eat 14 right now. / Rasputin: Man, I don't know. 10, I guess? Why are you even asking? It seems like every other day you are talking about eating lots of stuff. / Lincoln: Eating lots of stuff is my only skill. / Rasputin: Man, no it isn't! For one thing, you're one of history's great orators! / Lincoln: Well, I guess that's true... / AT THE LESS-WELL-REMEMBERED PITTSBURGH ADDRESS:
/ Lincoln: And so, in conclusion, those southerners are way lame. I bet their dumb president couldn't even eat 14 pancakes right now. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=228 |
| Eskimo Roleplaying | Abraham Lincoln: Hey, does anyone know if "Eskimo" is offensive? / George Washington: Heck yes, they're offensive! They stink of whale blubber, and you know how they have like 40 words for snow? They have almost as many ways to say "SCREW YOU BUDDY!" / Abraham Lincoln: Actually, I was talking about the word "Eskimo," as opposed to like Inuit or whatever? Also that is pretty racist? / Abraham Lincoln: Also, that thing about lots of words for snow isn't even really true. For one thing, Eskimos have different languages, but regardless, they don't really have more words for snow than we do in English. For instance, we have the words flurry and blizzard, which both can mean different types of snow. PLUS Eskimo languages don't even work the same as English ANYWAY. / George Washington: If you're such an Eskimo expert, why are you asking me? / Abraham Lincoln: Look, dude, this refridgerator selling scam is NOT going to work if you don't FOCUS. At this rate, you'll NEVER pass this test that proves you're an Eskimo. Don't you want the mad bank? I thought you wanted the mad bank, but I guess I was wrong. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=229 |
| Real Wizards | Lincoln: I am a mystical wizard! / I shoot lightning bolts PEW PEW!!! / Title text: What happens when Mystical Wizards stop being polite and start being real
/ THE REAL WORLD:
/ Mystical Wizards / Charles: Lincoln is like, constantly thinking people are stealing his hat when he's just misplaced it / Lincoln: OK WHO TOOK MY HAT THIS ISN'T FUNNY GUYS. WAS IT YOU / George: Is Lincoln even really a mystical wizard? All he does when you ask to see some magic is mumble something about how he has a beard and a hat / Lincoln: WHOEVER TOOK IT BETTER GIVE IT BACK OR I WILL SERIOUSLY TURN YOU INTO A FIREBALL OR SHOOT TOADS AT YOU OR WHATEVER A WIZARD'S HAT IS A SERIOUS MATTER TO A WIZARD!!! http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=230 |
| Make Money Fast $$$ | Lincoln: Hmm, I need to make more money. / Lincoln: I should try one of those get-rich-quick schemes! Those usually work out pretty well, right? / Jose de San Martin: Uh, no. Those practically never work out well, actually. / Jose de San Martin: Why do you need money though? I mean, I could probably lend you some if you really need it I guess. / Lincoln: WEll, really what I want is to suddenly get soooo much money that my eyes turn into dollar signs for a while! That would be AWESOME. / Jose de San Martin: That... doesn't happen. / [[Lincoln has dollar-signs for eyes]]
/ EXCEPT IT DOES
/ Lincoln: Why yes, incredibly old lady with a wig made of diamonds whose name I do not care to learn, I will certainly marry you! http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=231 |
| OBEY | [[With a raised eyebrow and a cocky swagger Lincoln demands your compliance]]
/ Lincoln: OBEY http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=232 |
| Randolph | Lincoln: As you guys probably know, my single greatest regret in life was that I was never able to have children to pass on my legacy. / Queen Elizabeth II: Wait. What? You had four chil- / Lincoln: Anyway, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately and I have finally decided to adopt. This tiny squid. / Washington: You're adopting... a tiny squid.
/ Queen Elizabeth II: And even if you'd had no children, you left a pretty big legacy as president! / Lincoln: His name is Randolph and he is my pride and joy, ok. I love him like the son I never had, and he loves me. / [[Randolph loving caresses Lincoln's peepers]]
/ Lincoln: No, Randolph. What did daddy tell you about trying to suck out his eyes? http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=233 |
| I Play Two Games in the Morning | [[Lincoln and Washington are wearing Rasta hats with dreadlocks; Lincoln is playing a Nintendo DS]]
/ Washington: Ey mon, pass de gaming on de left-hand side. / Washington: C'mon, play play pass, dat's de RULE, mon. / Queen Elizabeth: Those games are bad for you! They rot your brain and make you lazy! Don't you guys have anything better to do? / Lincoln: Well if it ain't de Whore of Babylon herself. / Queen Elizabeth: What. Did. You. Call. Me. / Lincoln: I mean, uh... playing games is our religion... yeah! We're Nintendofarians. Yeah! LEt us sing a hymn, brudda George. / Washington: Nin-tendo, no cry. I seh little console, don't shed no tears! Nin-tendo, no cry. http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=234 |
| Grudges | Abe: Hey guys, what's shakin'? / George: Abe, would you please tell her "majesty" that she is disinvited from all future parties. / Abe: What, you guys aren't talking to each other now? How come? / Elizabeth: I'm not entirely sure. Apparently he's still upset about the war of 1812, when we burned down your White House? Almost 200 years ago? / George: YOU SAVAGES BURNT DOWN THE OLY GOOD PAINTING OF ME THAT DAY AND I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!! / Abe: George, what are you talking about? Dolley Madison rescued that painting before the torched the White House. / George: Wow, really? Dolley Madison? She's the one with the big hoots, right? http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=235 |
| No Way José | Lincoln: Hey Jose de San Martin, we've been friends now for a while, right? / Jose de San Martin: I guess so, yeah. Why do you ask? / Lincoln: Well, I realized that after all this time, I still have pretty much no idea what your deal is. / Jose de San Martin: My deal? What do you mean? / Lincoln: We-ell, according to my Friendship Policy, section 14, article III, all my friends must meet certain notability requirements. But since I don't really know anything about you, I had to mark your friendship as "considered for deletion" until I determine if you are notable enough to be my frend. / Jose de San Martin: H-hey, I'm way notable! I was a general in Argentina in the 1800s and was the one primarily responsible for the liberation of Argentina and the other southern South American countries from Spain! I'm like the South American George Washington! / [[Lincoln looks at a notepad]]
/ Lincoln: All right, well, I'll mark you down here as "on probation" and check back in six months. Try to have done something a little more notable by then, OK? http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=236 |
| Strange Growths | {{Title: #237 - Strange Growths}}
/ [[Lincoln, disgusted, with zoomed in picture of the tip of his nose and a short, straight hair growing out of it]]
/ Lincoln: Whoa, what the! There's a big hair growing out of the tip of my nose! / [[Washington, agast]]
/ Washington: Ew, gross! I think that means you have the plague or something! Keep away from me! / [[Lincoln, looking backwards at Washington from the last panel]]
/ Lincoln: No, wait! What if - what if it's like a, a mutation - a super power! Like some kind of nose-whip that I can use to fight crime? Yeah! I bet that's what it is! / [[Thought bubble panel, Lincoln is zooming in at a downward angle from the upper left as indicated by motion lines behind him. He has on a purple helmet and purple glasses with green angular frames. From the tip of his nose comes a long thick hair curved like a whip in mid-strike. At the end of the hair is a small yellow explosion]]
/ Lincoln: You'll never get away with this, Dr. Burnface, for you face [[bold purple]] THE WHIPPER NOSE GUY! / [[Washington alone, looking backward toward the next panel]]
/ Nararror: [[bold]] SUDDENLY, IN THE FUTURE
/ Washington: So how did that nose hair thing work out? / [[Lincoln, looking down at a brown, braided ponytail with pink ribbon coming from the tip of his nose]]
/ Lincoln: Well, so far I'm not a super-hero, but I think this could be a good look for me! http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=237 |
| Father's Day 06 | Robert: Hello? / Abe: Hi Robert, it's Dad. Do you know what day it is? / [[over the phone]]
/ Robert: Uh, Monday? / Abe: Do you know what yesterday was? / [[over the phone]]
/ Robert: Sunday? / Abe: It was Father's Day! You didn't call or send a card or anything. / Robert: Oh, whatever, Dad. You were just saying like the other day that you never had any kids and that dumb squid is your son now. Make HIM give you Father's Day cards. / Abe: Actually, Randolph turned out to be the product of a fevered delerium in my brain. So he doesn't exist any more. / Abe: I'm sure he WOULD have given me a great gift though, but instead I'm stuck with you. So where's my gift? Cough it up. / Robert: I, uh, er... / [[Light bulb appears over Robert's head]] / Robert: Ha ha! Just kidding. This is my answering machine! So please leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you. BOOOP! / Abe: ROBERT THIS IS YOUR FATHER ARE YOU THERE ANYWAY GIVE ME A CALL I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING OK THIS IS DAD BYE http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=238 |
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