You're browsing the archives of Suburban Tribe.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[The next day...]] / Carol: Hey, Christie. Here's that fourth quarter estimate you asked for. / Christie: Oh. The one I asked for TWO HOURS ago? / Christie [[turns into a demon]]: CAROL, THERE ARE LAB MONKEYS THAT COULD DO YOUR JOB BETTER THAN YOU! AND I'LL BE EVEN THE REALLY STUPID ONES HAVE SOMEONE...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Carol, looking over her shoulder angrily, enters the women's room at Yesman & Puckerup, holding an object labeled "TASER".]] / <> / Carol (behind door): Ow! Bugger! / [[Shot of the women's room door]] / [[Haley exits the women's room, glaring.]]
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Yesman & Puckerup: Haley stands outside Christie's door in a martial arts stance, waiting for her to emerge.]] / Haley (thought bubble): Come on then, Christie... you're just one foot out your door away from an overdue thrashing, you psychotic slag! / Christie (offscreen): This all sounds good to me,...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Haley [[on roof at night]]: CONTROL, do you read me? I'm on Yesman & Puckerup's roof NOW. The meeting to finalize the OUTSOURING of labor is underway. / Haley: ONce the documents are signed, they will be faxed to INDIA. I've tapped and rigged the outgoing phone lines so that fax will be rerouted to...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Haley is hanging outside Yesman & Puckerup on a rappelling line, wearing headphones, pressing an object labeled "Hi-Tech Audio Spy Thingy(TM)" to a window.]] / Haley (thought bubble): Come on, you wankers! Who are you waiting on? Sign all our jobs away so I can sabotage it and send you back to whatever...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Haley [[on roof]]: CONTROL! The papers have been signed and the fax has been sent to INDIA! Did you INTERCEPT the fax? / Caesar: MREOWR! MREOW! / Haley [[on phone/radio]]: BRILLIANT! Send on the FORGED documents--and CLEAR YOUR TRACKS! / Haley: She SOLD US OUT! Alan TOLD HER what would happen and she...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Carol [[now turned from Haley]]: OW! OW! ... OH! OH! / Carol [[blowing on flame]]: ah-PHEEEWWW! AHH_PHEEEWWW! / Carol: OOHH-HHH! This wasn't supposed to HAPPEN! I had a PLAN, dammit! / [[Carol is gone as the phone box fire continues to rage.]]
s u b u r b a n t r i b e V.O. over charred sign: WOW. It's REALLY GONE, huh? And they said it was FAULTY WIRING? / Carol: Uhm, that's what they told ME, yeah. / Alan: WOW. Well, at least the place burned down BEFORE they replaced us with INDIA. We'll all get TWO YEARS' PAY in addition to unemployment! / Tiffany: God! This place...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Shaggy McWhiskey [[in drawer]]: Before ye're off to WORK, I'd be wonderin' what yer PLANS are for Friday night. / Dave [[getting dressed]]: Drinking. Wihtout YOU. / McWhiskey: Ah! Nothin' IMPORTANT, then! / McWhiskey: It so happens that my good friend O'HANRAHAN was SHAT UPON by a GROGOCH and consequently...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave's bedroom. Dave is getting dressed, Shaggy McWhiskey is standing in the top dresser drawer.]] / Shaggy: Before ye're off to work, I'd be wonderin' what yer plans are for Friday night. / Dave: Drinking. Without you. / Shaggy: Ah! Nothin' important, then! / Shaggy: It so happens that my good friend...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave sits at a table, disgruntled, with paper, pencil and dice in front of him. Also on the table is a smaller table at which Shaggy McWhiskey and two other wee folk (one male, one female) are sitting, with papers in front of them. McWhiskey sits behind a DM's triptych screen]] / Caption: McWhiskey's...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Shaggy McWhiskey's D&D game. Dave's face looms large next to Shaggy and the two other wee folk.]] / Dave: The last time I played D&D, the Monster Manual didn't feature the Mafia! And handguns weren't in any rulebook! / Shaggy: The game's gotten edgier since Wizards o' the Coast bought them out. / Dave:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[External view of a hilltop tower, with four characters in silhouette]] / Narrator: The next day, at the town's MAGE TOWER... / Tiff: Hurry UP, Alan! / Dave: REALLY! What's taking so long? Roll that old lady's bones out here so she can zap us back HOME! / Caesar: Mreow! / [[Alan is talking to the witch,...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Snow covered mountains fill the first panel]] / Narrator: MONTHS later, deep inside the mountains of CHALNADEV... / Carol: ALAN! He slipped by me! / Alan: I SEE him, Carol! / [[Zoom in to the action, with a horned creature sprinting past two of our heroes]] / Alan: DAVE! TIFF! He's headed your way! / Carol:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Secret meeting between two trenchcoat wearing people]] / PROLOGUE: Not long ago, in an abandoned warehouse... / KUMARA MIDORI: General Armbruster, at last, we meet. / GENERAL ARMBRUSTER: Kumara-San. Is that it? / ARMBRUSTER: It's smaller than I thought it would be. / MIDORI: It is still in Alpha State....
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Roger, looking extremely bored, is sitting at a restaurant table across from his wife Virginia, who is out-of-frame.]] / {{Prologue II: Not long ago, at Lilly's Restaurant ...}} / Virginia: Roger, darling, these last few months have been so blessed. / Roger: How SO, Virgina dearest? / Virginia: Yesman...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Hef: Well, this must be a surprise for you, Roger. HUGH HEFNER showing up at your home? / RT: Er-- Uhhhm... / Hef: You're familiar with my show, "The Girls Next Door"? / / Hef: The show needs something NEW this season, so I've bought your old ad agency, YESMAN & PUCKERUP. If you agree to TERMS,...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Tiffany: You remember Catholic school, Carol? / Tiffany: Like anyone forgets Catholic school. / Tiffany: We've both had our confession. Now here's our penance: / Tiffany: I've met with Bob Yesman. / Tiffany: He's been watching the Girl's Next Door, and he doesn't like what he sees. / Tiffany: I've promised...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Throne Room - Charles, Prince of Wales and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, examine an open package. Prince Charles reads from a sheaf of papers.]] / Charles: Roadkillwear.com? / Camilla: It only just arrived. No return address. / Charles: Apparently, this company takes any manner of dead rodentia you send...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[A tornado descends from a threatening grey sky, imperiling a small, lone house]] / [[A woman looks over her shoulder, terrified by a swarm of bees which echoes the shape of the tornado.]] / [[The portly creator of a Webcomic about a gaming magazine lies slumped at his desk, his head lying on his...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany Dawber, at the eye doctor's office. On the desk is a bag from McDonalds.]] / Tiffany: I have never needed glasses in my life. / Doctor: Well, you're getting older, and you work on a computer all day... / Tiffany: In my life, you quack! / Tiffany: Look, we can test again. That eye chart! That...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[In the breakroom at work]] / CAROL: What're you working on today, Alan? / ALAN: I have NOTHING to do today. / CAROL: Me neither. / CAROL: I could use a LOOOONG weekend. / ALAN [[drinking coffee]]: Me too. It HAS been one darn thing after another these days, hasn't it? / CAROL: C'MON! Let's go! / ALAN:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Narrator: The Next Day... / [[At the office, Alan holding coffee; Jessica speaks from off-panel]] / Alan: Sigh... / Jessica: YOU are the smartest man alive. / Alan: Ehn? / [[Jessica now in-panel, wearing an "It's Okay to Drink Alone" t-shirt.]] / Alan: Oh... No. / Jessica: Alan, if you had shown this...

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 >>