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s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Skip, Dave, Tiffany, Carol and Candi are trying to deal with a petrified Alan in the Victoria's Secret changing room.]] / Skip: Ho-Kaaay, my theory is that exposure to Britney's bare breasts has put Alan into a state of shock so severe, it has manifested itself as physical petrification. <http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030522
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave is looking into a Victoria's Secret dressing room where Carol is brushing her long blond gorgeous hair wearing nothing but a bra and panties.]] / Dave: Hey Carol, we've got something racy for you to read that should "defrost" Alan. / Carol: I'm just about ready. Be there in a sec. / [[Empty...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Carol, Tiffany, Dave and Skip are attempting to defrost a petrified Alan in the changing room of the Mall of St. Matthews Victoria's Secret]] / [[Carol reading a script to Alan while Dave watches.]] / TextBox: "Operation Defrost": Phase 1 / Carol: "Relationships are so much work! Why can't I find a...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan and Carol sitting on a couch in the Victoria's Secret at the Mall at St. Matthews.]] / Alan: Thanks for doing all of that to get me "unstuck," Carol. / Carol: Hey! It was the least I could do for sending Britney over here in the first place. / Alan: I'm sorry I hit Rodger. / Carol: 'S okay. I...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Brittney, Tiffany and Alan sitting around a conference table at Yesman & Puckerup.]] / Brittney: Why should I hire Alan back, Tiffany? / Tiffany: Other than to avoid a lawsuit for turning him into a museum exhibit? How about this... / [[Flashback to panel 2, March 26, 2003. Voiceover box.]] / Tiffany:...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Candi: So you're really quitting, Alan? / Alan: Yeah, I'm afraid so, Candi. My friend got me my old job back with a new office and a pay increase, so... / Candi: / Alan: Hey hey HEY! No tears, baby! As long as there's a horndog slacker out there willing to lie about his sexual orientation so...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[ Carol stands outside Alan's new office looking slightly pensive and begins to think about what might be going on inside ]] / Carol: Tiff's in Alan's new office going over a new project with him. It's his first day back... I hope all of this isn't too awkward for him. / [[ Carol opens the door to...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[ Tiff has the office gang over to her place for a dinner party, with Alan, Tiff, Carol and Dave standing around after dinner socializing ]] / Alan: Thanks for having us out here for dinner, Tiff! / Tiffany: Hey, glad to do it! / Dave: Say Tiff, where's the bathroom? I gotta take a lethal whiz. / Tiffany:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[ Today we find Tiffany getting a visit from her sister who has a energetic 2 year old daughter named Raegan ]] / Mrs. Wilcher: Look, Raegan! Why don't you play with Caesar while Aunt Tiffany and Mommy have coffee? / Raegan: GIT-TY! / [[ Looks like it's playtime for Raegan and Caesar, first showing...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[ The scene begins with Dave sitting at work using the phone to chat with someone who he seems to be wholly familiar with ]] / Dave: Oh yeah, Janice was definitely the hottest muppet on 'The Muppet Show'. Not only did she play guitar in the band, she was a nurse, too! I mean... damn, baby! / [[ Dave...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[ On the way to the airport, Alan and Tiffany have a quick discussion about him taking care of Caesar ]] / Tiffany: Thanks for taking me to the airport, Alan. / Alan: Hey, no sweat. / Tiffany: Listen, when you go over to my place to feed Caesar, would you do me a favor? / Alan: Sure. / [[ The camera...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[ We come in at Alan and Dave's apartment where Alan is just heading out the door while Dave and Alan's nephew sit watching TV on the couch. ]] / Alan: Dave! That was Tiff on the phone. She needs me to come into the office for an hour or two. Watch my nephew will ya? And behave yourself, Dave! Keep...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany comes in, evidently very happy about something. Alan is at his computer, evidently annoyed.]] / Tiffany: Alan! Great news! We landed the McFlibbit Screwdriver account! / Alan; Well, whoopeeding and shuck my corn! / Alan: I get to work on another hardware account! The doorstop catalogs and...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Carol and Tiffany are at Tiffany's house. Tiffany is signing something for a workman.]] / Workman: ...And sign here. / Tiffany: Thanks. Just take it to the deck around back and you guys can get started. / Carol: Yay, Tiffany! you're finally getting a hot tub! But why pay to have it installed? Why...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan and Dave are at their house. Alan is standing up and Dave is sitting on a couch.]] / Alan: So dave, it seems that some contractors are installing a hot tub at Tiffany's house and they busted a water main. I told her she could use our bathroom for a few days until they get everything fixed. / Dave:...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany and Dave are at Alan and Dave's house. Tiffany is dressed in a sports uniform.]] / Dave: You here for the shower again? Didn't you just use it this morning? / Tiffany: Yes, Dave, I'm here for the shower again. It's not like you ever use it. / Dave: (Sniff!) Geez, you smell like Satan's armpit!...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany and Dave are at Alan and Dave's house.]] / Dave: Well, here's the sweathog again for her twice-daily hosing. Did you get all fragrant and swarthy on the softball field? Or is this merely a latent symptom of OCD? / Tiffany: Actually, I have a date tonight, Dave. You know what a date is, right?...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany is applying makeup while Dave looks on.]] / Dave: So you have a date tonight? With who? / Tiffany: Chris Thompson. / Dave: Uh-hunh. And where did you meet this "Chris"? / Tiffany: Oddly enough, at my women's softball league. / Dave? Reeeeally? / Tiffany: Yes. Really. / [[Dave's thought bubble...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Tiffany: Dave, I need a guy's opinion. I have another date tonight-- / Dave: Another "meet" from your all-girl softball league? / Tiffany: Yeah! That thing's been a real boon to my social life! / Dave: You're telling me. / Tiffany: Anyway, Dana's really into the "intellectual hipster" type. I know hornrims...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan and Dave are at a pizza date.]] / Alan: Nah, man. Let me get this one. / Dave: Uh, okay. What's the occasion? / Alan: Consider it "thanks" for sharing your bathrom with Tiffany all week. I know she can be difficult to live with. The contractors fixed her water main and finished installing her...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan and Dave are still at the pizza place and bar.]] / Alan: Dave, that is just asinine. Tiffany is not a lesbian. / Dave: Come on! A date with a "Chris," "Leslie," "Robin," and "Dana" in one week? All of whom she met at her women's softball league? / Alan: Those are unisex names, genius. Try again. / Dave:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave, wearing a smoking jacket, is talking with two women.]] / Dave: Jennifer Connelly! I usually see you when I'm dreaming, but what's Tiffany doing here? / Jennifer Connelly: Daa-ave! You silly goose! You know we've been going out for ages! / Tiffany: I let your pants out two sizes for you, Dave! / Dave:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave is astonished by Caesar's appearance. Caesar does not react too well.]] / Dave: AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEK. / Caesar: MREOWWRR! / [[Caesar leaps out of the open window.]] / Dave: Come back here, you little abnormality! / [[Alan rushes in, brandishing a baseball bat.]] / Alan: Dave! What the hell's going...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave is standing outside his house, thinking.]] / Dave: Geez, ,what a nightmare. Bad enough no one believes me about Tiffany's cat being some sort of super-smart freak-o-nature, now the little "X-File" is stalking me. I'd better open the "gift" he left on my bed... / The Note: Deare Dafe, I am sorrie...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Caesar and Dave are iming. Caesar's sn is F-Garfield1437 and Dave's sn is DaveofSteel28.]] / Dave: Look Caesar, even if I wanted to help you hook up with a "skin kitty" in Canada, why should I? What's in it for me? / Caesar: Cleopatra is a very nice gurl. she is hot and her dayting profile says she...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan, Carol, and Tiffany are at work. Tiffany is handing out invitations.]] / Tiffany: Hey guys! Here are your invites. Spread the word. BBQ and hot tub christening at my place July 4th. Bring a swimsuit and a date! / Alan: Wait...what about Dave? Is he invited? / Tiffany: Well...of course! I just...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave is replying to the personal ad Caesar pointed out.]] / Dave: Hi Cindea, / My name is Tiffany, and when I saw your picture and profile on match.com in the "Women Seeking Women" section, I squealed like a hedgehog getting a tetanus shot and nearly lost all bladder control. / Dave: You are fine....
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[It is the day of the hot tub party. Carol, Roger, and Dave are standing around with drinks. Tiffany is greeting Alan and his date.]] / Tiffany: Hey guys! Come on in1 The grill and hot tub are on the deck. Help yourself to the keg! / Alan: Tiff, I'd like to introduce you to Candi, my date! You may remember...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany is grilling when the doorbell rings.]] / <> / Tiffany: Huh! Who could that be? I thought everyone was here... / Dave: Ah...I'm expecting somebody! I'll get it! / [[Dave opens the door for Cindea and her cat.]] / Dave: Hi! You must be Cindea from Toronto, right? I'm Dave. Tiff's been...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave takes Cindea, who is in a Wonder Woman outfit, back to meet Tiffany.]] / Dave: Hey Tiff! Look who's here! / Cindea: Hi Tiffany! I'm Cindea! Glad to finally meet you in person! / Tiffany: Yeah...Uhm. Cindea. That's some bathing suit, there! / Cindea: I bought this new just for you! Maybe after...
 

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