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s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan and Dave are at Tiffany's hot tub party.]] / Dave: Alan! Cindea is not my date. I answered a bi-curious online dating profile posing as Tiffany and invited her here to hook them up so I could prove that Tiff vacations on Isla de Lesbos! / Alan: What? Holy--! / Carol: What? What's going on? / Alan:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Carol and Alan are at Tiffany's hot tub party discussing Dave's efforts to "prove" Tiffany is a lesbian.]] / Carol: You know, Dave wishes Tiff was gay because it appeals to his ego. I think women turn to other women because they get tired of men who don't talk about their feelings and always try to...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan and Candi are in the hot tub at Tiffany's party.]] / Candi: Alan! No! Right here in the hot tub? We might get caught! C'mon, baby! That's what makes it exciting! / Roger: Well! The sun's finally going down, so I suppose it would be time to give Tiff's new hot tub a go, eh? / [[Alan is annoyed...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany opens the door to greet Skip and Kelly for her hot tub party. Skip is hunched over and supported by his wife.]] / Tiffany: Hey! Skip and Kelly! Boy, you're late! I thought you were gonna take a pass on the party! / Kelly: We were Tiff, but skip threw his back out and a good soak in your hot...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave and Carol are at Tiffany's hot tub party.]] / Dave: Hey Carol, have you seen Cindea? / Carol: Not since she finally peeled herself away from the keg a while ago. Where's Roger? I can't find him, and I'm ready to leave. / Dave: I dunno, but I'll tell him if I see him. / [[Dave goes into Tiffany's...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave has just walked in on Cindea and Roger in Tiffany's closet while at her hot tub party.]] / Dave: I do not believe this1 Cindea, you flew all this way to see Tiffany! / Cindea: Oh, please! Experimentation with bisexuality is so five minutes ago! Sugar daddys are the now! / Dave: And Roger! You're...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Candi and Alan are sneaking around Tiffany's house at her hot tub party.]] / Candi: Alan! No! Right there in the laundry room? We might get caught! / Alan: C'mon, baby! That's what makes it exciting! / [[they open the laundry room door.]] / Candi: Ewww! / Alan: Auugh! / [[Caesar and Cindea's cat are...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Cindea approaches Tiffany at her hot tub party.]] / Cindea: Well, I'm sorry Tiffany, but after meeting Roger, I think I'm gonna stick with older men. / Tiffany: Good. Good for you. Thanks for the info. / [[Tiffany's thought bubble: You half-baked pop-tart. / [[Cindea gives Tiffany a frame.]] / Cindea:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany addresses Dave after realizing why Cindea was at her house during her hot tub party. She begins to undo Dave's belt.]] / Tiffany: oh, dave! You didn't have to concot some hare-brained scheme to find out if I was a lesbian. You should have asked me. I would have told you. / [[She finishes...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Candi and Alan are hiding behind Tiffany's tools shed at her hot tub party.]] / Candi: Alan! No! Right here behind Tiffany's tool shed? We might get caught! / Alan: C'mon, Baby! That's what makes it exciting! / [[Dave runs by, screaming at Alan.]] / Dave: Alan! Call 9-1-1! No! Call my father! Tell...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan and Dave are having beer sometime after Tiffany beat Dave up at her hot tub party.]] / Alan: So. You set up some half-assed plot to prove Tiff was a lesbian, and as I predicted, Tiff had one of her "Hulk-outs" and you look like you went 5 rounds with Mike Tyson. In the prison shower. / Dave: Man...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Dave is talking to issue after having been beaten up by Tiffany. His sn is DaveofSteel28 and Caesar's is F-Garfield 1437.]] / Dave: Alright Caesar. Start explaining. You said your mistress was "bi-curious" and when i put Cindea in front of her, she went all "Lizzie Borden" on me. / <> / Caesar:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Dave: Right, so, I'm Dave Jablonski and I'm supposed to answer a reader's question for you today. Right... gothlord@mci.net asks "Where do babies come from?" / Dave: Well Goth, it goes something like this: there are times when Grand Theft Auto doesn't satisfy a guy the way it used to. So the guy starts...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[ "Ask a Suburban Tribe Cast Member" time once again! This time around we have Alan and Tiff demonstrating what lengths Suburban Tribe will go to keep their readership satisfied. ]] / Alan: Hi Everybody! I'm Alan, and this is TIffany. It's our turn to address one lucky reader's e-mail. / Alan: This...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[ "Ask a Suburban Tribe cast member!" week continues! Now it's Carol's turn ]] / Carol: Hi Everybody! I'm Carol Bradley, and it's my turn to answer a lucky reader's question! Let's see... / [[ Carol pauses to begin reading ]] / Carol: Darthshatner@aol.com asks "Is there any way I can get a nude picture...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan approaches Dave, who is channel surfing while parked in a laz-e-boy]] / Alan: Say Dave, you remember when you said you'd clean out the fridge? / Dave: Yeah. / Alan: Yeah. 4 months later, I did it myself. Know what I found in your mom's casserole dish? / [[Alan lifts a food monster that looks like...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Sign: Jefferson Community College / Introduction to Bellydancing / Instructor: Alika Basmah]] / Alika: ...And since tonight is the last class, along with your certificates, I have an award for "most improved student" to hand out... / Alika: ...To miss Carol Bradley! / Carol: Oh, yay! / Old Lady: Aw, dammit!...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Carol: Roger? Where are you? You were supposed to be over here at my place an hour ago! / Roger (over phone): Carol, dear... I thought we agreed that you would never call me at home! / Carol: I know, but... but I've dinner all ready and I have a surprise for you... / Roger: I'm sorry pet, but my wife's...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e <> / Tiffany: Hellop? Hey, Carol! Nothing! Why, what are you doing? / Tiffany: What? Roger stood you up again? Now honey, don't start crying. / Tiffany: Hey, listen! I'm not doing anything tonight. How about I come over and we'll have a girl's night? Great! I'll be over in two shakes. It'll...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Carol: ...And after I spent $300 on bellydancing class to surprise Roger, he stood me up! For his wife! Again! / Tiffany: (Sigh) Carol, I think it's time we talked about Roger... / <> / Tiffany: You expecting someone? / Carol: Roger! Maybe it's Roger! / Tiffany and Carol: Alan! / Alan: She...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Alan (narrating): "Candi and I were at Barnes and Noble and she asked me to hold a book for her while she used the restroom..." / Candi: Ah... Alan? Can you hold this for me while I powder my nose? / Alan: "What women want men to know" by Barbara Deangelis. You trying to tell me something, babe? / Candi:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e <> / [[Alan Babble: nd I were at bar / e and she asked me to / book for her while she use / the restroom. "What Women Want Men to Know" by Barbara Deangels. You trying to tell me something, babe? I stood there for 20 minute / hen I finally got bor / to look throug]] / Carol: Geez Tiff, what're...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Alan Babble]] / Carol: Geez, listen to him! I wish Dave was in town! He'd know what to do. How do we help a guy mend a broken heart? / Tiffany: Well, let's try the usual "Girl's night" activities... / Narrator: "The Lifetime Movie Channel..." / TV: Dammit Gwendolyn! If you aren't pregnant with the president's...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e Carol: Okay, Alan! Time for scrapbooking! I want to document my second year at kindergarten and all six years of college! / [[Alan Babble]] / Tiffany: No, no. Wait, Carol. I don't think we're helping him much, here. / Carol: Well, you know what I do when I'm really down in the dumps over a guy? / Tiffany:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany and Carol are dancing with glowsticks at "The Emerald City", a gay nightclub. They brought Alan, who's in a funk after his girlfriend dumped him, because going to the nightclub is one of their favorite ways of getting over men.]] / Carol: I'm not too sure about this Tiffany... Taking Alan to...
 
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[in the Emerald City gay club]] / Alan: Heeeyyy Charmbender! I've had enough cosmopolitans, Mai-Tais and Sexes on the beaches! I need a bourbon! / Bartender: Gee, I dunno if we HAVE any. Let me go check the BACK. / [[Close up of Alan's drunk face]] / Bartender: Good luck getting a bourbon here in a GAY...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e {{This is a halloween episode and thus outside of established continuity}} / [[Dave and Alan stand next to a table. On the table is a bowl of sausages with Skip's head nestled on top. Dave is half naked.]] / Dave: Oh my God! Skip! / Alan: They did it...Those lunchladies from hell turned him into sausage. / Dave:...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Outdoors. A sign reads "Saturday Only! East End European Antique Show & Book Fair"]] / Tiffany (off-panel): I've been looking forward to this for weeks! I'm glad Alan suggested that we all go together. / Dave (off-panel): Yeah. Thrills, Tiffany. Thrills. / [[Dave, Tiffany and Carol are talking...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Tiffany and Alan are in Best Buy]] / Best Buy Bob: Welcome to Best Buy! Ah! The extended edition of "The Two Towers!" An excellent choice! Do you own a plasma tv? Let me tell you about our service plans... / Tiffany: Whoa! Stop right there, junior! / Tiffany: Let me tell you a secret; everyone knows...
s u b u r b a n t r i b e [[Exterior of a restaurant, a sign reads, 'Le Bunny Foo-Foo "The French would eat here if they had to."]] / {{in text boxes}} Alan: "So, you wanna come over and watch The Two Towers with me and the guys tonight, Tiff?" / Tiffany: "No. Thank. You. It's Friday and I have a hot date tonight." / [[Alan and...
 

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