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| Jesus and Mo » Archive » irony | A Catholic abbot has accused Disney of "exploiting spirituality" to gain wealth and power.
/ A Catholic, did you say? / He says they tell stories where good triumphs over evil, and then seek to cash in on that by suggesting the Disney experience is the only way to true happiness. / A representative... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/12/02/irony/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » meter | Thanks for fixing my irony meter, Jesus.
/ No problem. It was my story about the Catholic abbot that broke it. / Yeah, that's the trouble with these Christian leaders - their conviction that they know what's on the mind of God blinds them to their own folly sometimes.
/ < http://jesusandmo.net/2008/12/05/meter/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » porn | Barmaid, do you treat our religious beliefs as a private eccentricity? / I wish I could - but as long as people try to influence public policy on account of them, I can't. / Believe me, I long for the day when I can treat all religious people like friends with an eccentric - if somewhat distasteful... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/12/11/porn/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » edge | Jesus: Science is *fine* as far as it goes, but it cannot answer the big questsions such as "Why are we here?" "What is the purpose of beauty?"
/ Mo: "Who created the laws of physics and logic?" / Jesus: These are questions for *theologians* / Barmaid: Do theologians really have *answers* to these questions?... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/12/17/edge/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » edge | Jesus: Science is *fine* as far as it goes, but it cannot answer the big questsions such as "Why are we here?" "What is the purpose of beauty?"
/ Mo: "Who created the laws of physics and logic?" / Jesus: These are questions for *theologians* / Barmaid: Do theologians really have *answers* to these questions?... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/12/17/edge/#respond |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » ugh! | We don't hate gays, we hate homosexuality.
/ It is an abomination against God. / A disgusting, unnatural act.
/ Just imagine - two men--
/ Together!
/ Having sex... UGH!
/ YEUURGH! / Whenever I think about it, I feel disgusted.
/ Me too - it's disgusting.
/ Maybe you should try not thinking about it? / Can't... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/12/19/ugh/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » ploy | An irony meter! Thank you, boys. I must have been a good girl this year because Santa has been very kind to me! / You're welcome, Barmaid. But there's no such thing as Santa, you know.
/ No, I was just...
/ You surprise me, Barmaid. / How can you believe in this mythical being who magically knows... http://jesusandmo.net/2008/12/23/ploy/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » detox | Boy, two weeks of over-indulgence really takes its toll on the body's natural balance, doesn't it?
/ I'll say! / I'm so glad we invested in these detoxifying bath salts.
/ Thirty pounds well spent! / Shall we simulate our lymphatic systems with our detox brush after this?
/ Sure. I'll brush you if you'll... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/06/detox/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » blind | I see the Pope has been attacking contraception again, saying that sexuality has lost its connection with its true purpose.
/ Funny for a life-long celibate to be so obsessed with reproduction. / He seems to believe the that propagation of Catholics is the whole point of the universe. / I never cease... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/09/blind/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » Jesus & Mo Minus Jesus & Mo | [[Jesus and Mo have been airbrushed out - all you can see is their pints on the bar]] / Barmaid: Maybe you should try not thinking about it? http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/12/jesus-and-mo-minus-jesus-and-mo/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » shaky | Are you okay Jesus? You look all pale and shaky.
/ I just saw one of those atheist buses. / Oh no! Not of of those that says "There's probably no God"? Go and lie down for a bit. I'll get you a hot drink. / I don't understand what we did to deserve such aggression.
/ Those militant atheists and their... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/14/shaky/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » after | [[In the bar]] Jesus: Just look at the amazing prophecies in the Book of Daniel! He foretells in REMARKABLE detail the fate of the Greek empire! How can ANYONE deny the Bible is GOD'S WORD? / Barmaid: Jesus, if a book contains accurate details of a historical event, that usually means it was written... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/16/after/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » need | No, Jesus, I've had no problems with my irony meter.
/ That's weird. Ours kept breaking. We had to throw it away.
/ I'm not surprised. Your metaphysical convictions inevitably result in your making statements highly incongruous with the reality you inhabit. / Whereas I approach reality from a multiplicity... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/21/need/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » rules | Check out this L. Ron Hubbard guy, Mo: does he remind you of anyone? He is revered by his followers, who fiercely protect his reputation from any kind of criticism. / They regard him as a kind of Superman, and treat his words on the religion e devised as infallible. He built an empire on the strength... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/23/rules/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » miss | The Vatican has accused President Obama of succumbing to "the arrogance of those in power". / {{no dialogue}} / Spoing! / You miss the irony meter, don't you?
/ It saved me the trouble of thinking up something funny to say. http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/28/miss/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » equal | Why are homosexuals always demanding special rights?
/ Aren't they just asking for the same rights as everyone else? / Exactly - what makes them think they're so special that they deserve to be treated like everyone else? / By demanding equal rights, the deny us our right to discriminate against them. / Why... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/01/30/equal/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » truth | I've got a new one to try on the barmaid - Fideism.
/ What's that? / The idea that faith is superior to reason as a means of knowing the truth.
/ Ah, yes - "I believe it, therefore it is true". / Exactly - and if it's true, you'd be stupid not to believe it!
/ I am sympathetic to the idea, but I don't... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/02/04/truth/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » arms | In "The God Delusion" Dawkins attacks an absurd caricature of religion. He is ignorant of the huge amount of sophisticated theological work which has accumulated over the centuries. / Yeah, same with Islam. Did he devote years to studying the Koran and Hadith, as our scholars have done? One cannot... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/02/06/arms/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » fruit | The Koranic concept of Heaven doesn't sound so great - it's all banana trees, grapes, palm trees, olives, and pomegranates. Isn't Muslim paradise a bit... fruit-centered? / I love fruit.
/ Yeah, but not everyone does. / For a book whose main purpose is to get people to believe in it, you'd think the... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/02/11/fruit/ |
| Jesus and Mo - witty | Jesus: We need to think up some slogans to respond to this atheist bus campaign.
/ Mo: Yes, a convincing counter argument to "There's probably no God" which will provoke reflection and inevitably lead the reader to acknowledge the reality of God's existence. / Jesus: It needs to be both philosophically... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/02/13/witty/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » side | You Darwinists live in a fantasy world.
/ We admit there is evidence for evolutionary adaptation within species over relatively short periods of time. / But that doesn't mean that new species can develop over long periods of time!
/ How can that happen? It's incredible. / It's like saying that because... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/02/17/side/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » field | So Jesus, are you a "Young Earth Creationist" who believes the Earth is only six thousand years old?
/ Of course not - it's much older than that. / Science has come a long way since Ussher arrived at that figure using genealogies in the Bible, barmaid. / There have been many advances in the fields of... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/02/19/field/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » wudu | [[Jesus stands outside the bathroom door]]
/ Jesus: Mo, why do you always take so long in there?
/ Mo: Silence! I am doing my wudu. / Jesus: Seriously, Mo - I think you have obsessive-compulsive disorder. Washing all your bits in the same order, 3 times on the right, 3 times on the left, passing your... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/02/24/wudu/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » style | I see Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church people have been banned from visiting the UK.
/ Good! I cannot stand their strident brand of gay-hatred. / I agree - all those gaudy placards and shouting. It's very distasteful. / I mean, God does hate homosexuality, and gays will burn in hell for... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/02/27/style/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » limp | I keep thinking about one billion Muslims all copying your obsessive-compulsive washing habits.
/ You're just jealous. / Don't you think it's weird to have all those people aping your every idiosyncrasy?
/ It is natural to strive for perfection. / If you had stuttered and walked with a limp, would there... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/03/03/limp/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » hate | Barmaid, why do you hate God?
/ I don't! / I'm not a big fan of theism, and the behaviour of some believers is pretty appalling - but how can I hate something if I don't believe it exists? You might as well accuse me of hating leprechauns. / [[silence]] / Actually, I do hate leprechauns.
/ Me too -... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/03/06/hate/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » story | My God, Mo. I didn't know this story: You advised some tribespeople to drink camel urine for medicinal purposes. When they did, they got mad, killed the shepherd and drove away the camels. / So you had them captured, ordered their hands and feet to be chopped off, blinded them with hot irons, and... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/03/10/story/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » human | I'm all for free speech, but there must be an international law against the defamation of religion.
/ By "religion", you mean Islam, don't you? / Well, yes - because it is Islam which is frequently and wrongly associated with human rights violations and terrorism.
/ I know - by human rights violators... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/03/13/human/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » AIDS | Abstinence-only clearly doesn't work against this terrible disease. It continues to cause untold suffering and millions of deaths every year. / It's particularly heartbreaking when it is passed from mother to child. We have to face the reality that people are gong to have sex, and encourage them to... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/03/18/aids/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » back | Young people today have no idea what Easter is really about. / They are so absorbed in their Myface pages and Nintendo Playboxes that they remain ignorant of our great traditions. / Society needs to take a step back and rediscover the true meaning of Easter.
/ You are right. / Nobody honours the great... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/03/20/back/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » stage | Jesus: We have decided to face up to scientific reality, barmaid.
/ Barmaid: Oh?
/ Mo: Evolution does occur - no reputable scientist denies it / Jesus: Random genetic mutations can lead to advantageous traits which are favoured by natural selection.
/ Mo: It is a demonstrable fact.
/ Barmaid: Oh! / Jesus:... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/03/25/stage/ |