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| Jesus and Mo » Archive » eggs | You have to admit Easter is rather confusing. Let me see if I have this right... / The humans you created so displeased you that you had to have yourself crucified before you could let them have a relationship with you again.
/ Hmm... / Then they put your temporarily dead body in a cave, where you... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/03/27/eggs/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » dread | Have you heard? Now the militant atheists are trying to institute an international day of blasphemy!
/ Jesus fucking Christ! / A whole day devoted to dissing the deity?
/ I dread to think what defamations those demon-driven doubters will dream up. / One thing is certain - it is up to us believers to... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/04/01/dread/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » news | Jesus: I'm on TWITTER! It's great for spreading the GOOD NEWS
/ Mo: WHAT good news?
/ Jesus: YOU know - that I DIED to save everybody from their SINS / Mo: Jesus, this is the 21st century - the INFORMATION AGE
/ Mo: When something happens on one side of the world, people on the other side of the world... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/04/03/news/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » whoop | Everyone makes such a big deal about your "sacrifice", Jesus - but I'm not that impressed.
/ What do you mean?
/ A bit of whipping, 3 hours on a cross, 2 days "dead" in a cave. / Then you beam back up to Heaven for all eternity. Big whoop!
/ "Big whoop"?
/ Mo has a point. People suffer worse than that... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/04/08/whoop/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » thor | [[Jesus and mo are at the pub talking to barmaid]]
/ Barmaid: YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT HUMANS HAVE INVENTED A LOT OF GODS - AND YOU DON'T FEEL OBLIGED TO TAKE ANY OF THEM SERIOUSLY
/ Barmaid: LIKE THOR, WHO SMOTE HIS ENEMIES WITH LIGHTNING BOLTS / Jesus: THOR DOESN'T STRIKE ME AS PLAUSIBLE
/ Mo: HA HA! GOOD... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/04/24/thor/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? thor | [[in the bar]]
/ Barmaid: You have to admit that humans have invented a lot of gods - and you don't feel obliged to take any of them seriously. Like Thor, who smote his enemies with lightning bolts. / Jesus: Thor doesn't strike me as plausible.
/ Mo: Ha ha! Good one, Jesus!
/ Barmaid: Or that Egyptian... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/04/24/thor/#respond |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » bacon | That was Moses on the phone. He wants us to stop using the term "swine flu" because it's offensive to Jews and Muslims.
/ Quite right. / Seriously? What other porcine nouns and phrases do you object to? "Ham fisted"?
/ That's pretty offensive, yes.
/ "Bringing home the bacon"? / Deeply offensive.
/ "Pig... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/04/29/bacon/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » maybe | Mockery is nothing new. In the early days of Christianity they ridiculed us, but they only strengthened our faith. / Maybe they weren't doing it properly?
/ It is worse today... books, adverts, computer games, comics... / ...Atheists show a complete and utter lack of respect for our dearly held religious... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/01/maybe/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » abuse | This is outrageous. The militant atheists are targetting school children now!
/ Bastards - let them try. / Are they so desperate to stamp out faith that they would resort to indoctrinating innocent young minds?
/ Fear not! Their shallow, godless ideology is no match for true religion. / What exactly... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/06/abuse/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? dizzy | [[J&M in bed - J reading Koran, M reading Bible]]
/ Mo: I think Christians really kid themselves about the historical reliability of the gospels
/ Jesus: You think? Read Luke 1:1-4 and John 21:24... and weep! / Mo: Let me see - Luke says he carefully investigated everything, and that he was writing it... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/08/dizzy/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? joy | [[Jesus and Moe are at the bar.]] / Jesus: Without religion, atheists are missing out on an important part of life.
/ Moe: They have no sense of the transcendent. / Jesus: And if you leave out the transcendent, you cannot really be considered fully human.
/ Bartender: What do you mean by "the transcendent"? / Bartender:... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/12/joy/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? reiki | Reiki has no scientific credibility. It is just superstitious nonsense.
/ Who says this? / The Catholic Committee on Doctrine.
/ Uh oh.
/ What's the matter?
/ Nothing. / Anyway, by relying on unscientific, superstition-based healing methods, people ignore true healing by divine grace, and expose themselves... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/15/reiki/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? tired | I'm so tired of all these new atheists attacking us people of faith
/ Me too / They are not interested in engaging seriously with thoughtful believers / All they do is engage in angry name-calling and whine about being persecuted / Yeah, why can't those bloody bastards just leave us alone http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/20/tired/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? vital | [[in the bar]] / Jesus: That Irish Catholic child abuse report is just horrific. My heart goes out to them / Jesus: After all these years, to have your wounds opened up to the public... and for what? It takes real courage to face up to those terrible facts from the past, but with faith they can overcome... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/22/vital/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? cars | I see that your guys are a-ragin' and a-burnin' again.
/ Where?
/ Athens. / What are they doing?
/ The usual... / ...throwing stones, breaking shop windows, flipping cars, burning flags, and accidentally setting fire to themselves.
/ Why? / They want people to respect them.
/ Flipping cars is awesome.
/ But... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/26/cars/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? laugh | Atheists are humorless souls.
/ In their arrogance, they do not believe in the existence of anything greater than themselves. / And because they lack the humility that such a belief entails, atheists cannot laugh at themselves.
/ Unlike us. / This is another reason why we are superior to them. / What... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/05/28/laugh/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? harm | Catholic spokesperson on radio: That Ryan Commission report was just anti-catholic propaganda. Reuters reported that priests beat and raped children - that's just not true... / Catholic spokesperson on radio: ... a lot of children weren't raped, and a lot of the abusers weren't priests! Why the hysteria?
/ Opponent... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/06/03/harm/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? lines | A reader is asking why you get all the best lines. Good question! Why is that?
/ Because I'm smarter than you. / Bah! Upon what evidence do you base such an outrageous assertion?
/ Shall we compare resum?s? You preached for a couple of years, gained a handful of followers, got into trouble with the... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/06/05/lines/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? marry | Mo, these "revelations" you get from Allah - they're a bit self-serving sometimes, aren't they? Like here in 33:50 where God says you can have any believing woman who desires you. / It is God's will.
/ Or that time when you fancied your stepdaughter, and subsequently went into a trance wherein Allah... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/06/09/marry/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? gloss | [[Mo, clad in dark burqa, sitting next to Jesus on a bench]]
/ Jesus: I'm beginning to understand the idea behind the TONY BLAIR FAITH FOUNDATION
/ Jesus: On the face of it, the principle is ABSURD / Jesus: Promoting PEACE by increasing INTER-FAITH UNDERSTANDING makes about as much sense as promoting... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/06/12/gloss/ |
| Jesus and Mo ? Archive ? nerve | The religion you atheists criticize is not a religion we recognise.
/ Yeah, Barmaid - you can't dismiss our beliefs if you don't even understand what they are. / Let's see - the Christian believes that Jesus is the son of God and that he died for our sins. The Muslim believes that Mo is God's prophet... http://jesusandmo.net/2009/06/16/nerve/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » cats | Did yu read about that new research which shows that religious people tend to be highly superstitious?
/ You are kidding me. / That must be the same researchers who revealed that a high proportion of criminals had broken the law.
/ And that gay people tend to be attracted to members of their own sex. / Oh,... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/08/02/pets-2/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » great | Jesus: Damn! Here's another scientific study that shows prayer has no effect
/ Jesus: Don't they realise God always answers prayers? The answer is either "yes" "no" or "wait" / Mo: I've been thinking about that. The "wait" is kind of superfluous. There is always a wait involved - be it minutes or years... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/12/11/wait-2/ |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » point | [[Jesus and Mo are in the restroom using the urinals.]]
/ Jesus: SHE CAN BE QUITE TACTLESS SOMETIMES
/ Mo: IT WASN'T JUST TACTLESSNESS / Mo: IT WAS HER LANGUAGE. SO DISRESPECTFUL, SO OFFENSIVE / Mo: THAT'S WHAT REALLY GETS ME ABOUT THESE FUNDAMENTALIST ATHEISTS - THEY ARE SO RUDE AND AGRESSIVE
/ Jesus:... http://jesusandmo.net/2007/04/12/point%5C |
| Jesus and Mo » Archive » 10Cs | Jesus: The Ten Commandments aren't really that great.
/ Mo: They don't mention racism or rape. / Jesus: They don't ban molestation of young congregations. / Mo: You would think that PRIESTS wrote them... / Jesus: Oh wait... http://jesusandmo.net/2006/06/02/10cs/ |