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Penny and Aggie Your m-m- ... / ... you're wrong. I'm not prejudiced. / You're prejudiced about me. You think I'm superficial. / I'm not suprised, really. Blondes are one of our most misunderstood minorities. / It's tragic. But you'll learn better.
Penny and Aggie Hey, uh... sorry I called you, uh... uhhhh... / "Fat?" / You didn't actually. But I got the point. / 'sokay. I'm used to it. You're pretty. Pretty people get to say what they want. / That's how it works. / /stab/ / /guilt/ / /stab/ / /shame/ / /stab/ / /self-recrimination/
Penny and Aggie You're pretty! / Sure. / You are! / You've got a good... foundation, anyway. / No blemishes... / Firm boobs... / J. Lo butt... / We just have to be like sculptors! Remove everythng that isn't boobs and butt! / "We?"
Penny and Aggie Come on, it's the least I can do for a customer! / We'll be like on "Queer eye for the straight guy!" / Only, I won't be gay, and when we're done, you'll look female! / So, free makeovers! / Is this a new store policy?
Penny and Aggie Penny's Beauty Tips / Tip #1: Moisturize. / Tip #2: Moisturize. / Tip #3: Moisturize. / Tip #4: Everything in moderation.
 
Penny and Aggie Penny's Beauty Tips / Tip #5: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day to skip. / Unless it's bacon and eggs. / Or protein shakes. / Or water, water's okay. / Spring water.
Penny and Aggie Penny's Beauty Tips / Tip #6: Boys don't cut classes for girls who wear glasses. But... boys find it way sick when those girls get Lasik. / Charge it.
Penny and Aggie Maybe you should freshen up.
Penny and Aggie Don't let them see that you see that they see us. / Not yet. / Not ye-e-e-e-et... / That's all they get? / Just a taste. / They must be starving. / Fair enough. We starve ourselves for them.
Penny and Aggie He's so hot. / He is. / How could she have left him? / She deserved to get cheated on. / More for us. / Yeah. / Wow. It's like "The Stepford Wives." / A dark comedy that nobody wants to watch.
 
Penny and Aggie Nothing makes you happy, does it? I do something nice... / "...Nice." / By "nice," you mean "to turn someone with self-esteem issues into a duplicate of myself?" / Hmph.
Penny and Aggie OBSERVE THE "REBEL", KAREN. / UNABLE TO TAN OR FOLLOW FASHION TRENDS, SHE JUSTIFIES HER DISABILLITIES AS "CHOICE." / SHE TAKES HER COLOR COORDINATION FROM ELEMENTARY-SCHOOL BUILDING BLOCKS. / SHOULD I SPIN AROUND? / SARCASM IS HER ONLY DEFENSE. / IT MAKES THE RULES SEEM RIDICULOUS, EXCUSING HER POOR...
Penny and Aggie If I didn't know better, Penny... / I'd almost say you didn't like me. / Whoa! / "The old me could never stand up to Penny like that. I'm not sure the new me could either." / I don't know what kinda power she has... / But I want some.
Penny and Aggie THANKS FOR AGREEING TO MEET ME. / IT SOUNDED AMUSING. / SINCE YOU... CRITIZED PENNY... I WAS WONDERING... HOW YOU WOULD HAVE MADE ME OVER. / JUST BE YOURSELF. YOU KNOW? THAT'S ALL YOU NEED. / ... / ARE YOU INSANE?
Penny and Aggie Where has "being myself" gotten me? / Are your eyelids "being themselves?" / Um... Well... / Aggie's BeautyTips / Tip #1: I do find navy, khaki, plum and bronze make a great eye shadow combination. / But I think you're missing my point. / I think you're getting mine.
 
Penny and Aggie Aggie's BeautyTips / TIP #2: NOTHING IS UGLIER THAN DEAD ANIMALS. LEATHER, FOR INSTANCE, IS HIDEOUS. / BUT PLEATHER, YOU KNOW? THAT SYNTHETIC MATERIAL THAT LOOKS AND FEELS EXACTLY LIKE LEATHER? / THAT LOOKS NIIICE.
Penny and Aggie Aggie's BeautyTips / TIP #15: BLACK GOES WITH EVERYTHING, AND EVERYTHING GOES WITH BLACK. / RED, GREEN, BLUE, YELLOW, LAVENDER... / OKAYYY... THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. / ...TURQUIOSE, FUSCHIA, CHARTREUSE, PERIWINKLE, SALMON... / ? / KAREN!?
Penny and Aggie Where've you been? You just disappeared for days! I thought you'd had an acne emergency! And what are you wearing? / Step off, "Mom." She makes her own choices. / Hey, Karen! / Heyyy, Steve! You comin' tonight! / Wouldn't miss it! Sounds wild! / But... we're going to the movies.. tonight... / A party?
Penny and Aggie You're ditching me? / I'm your friend! / You're more like... consultants. / And... I'm not... inviting people who knew the old me. / After I slaved? / Pfuhhh! I'm pretty now! / Pretty people get to do what they want! / ... / Well. / She got that from you.
Penny and Aggie And please enjoy your complimentary soy shake. / Hey, Ag? I got tickets to... / Well, to the movies. / Through Fandango. Wanna go? / ...Thanks, Tom but... I don't date Capricorns. / That's a new one.
 
Penny and Aggie ...Thanks, Tom, but... / I'm a carrier for typhoid. / ...Thanks, Tom, but... / I asked Magic 8-Ball, and it said "very doubtful." And then broke. / ...Thanks, Tom, but... / I'm not even sure I like guys. / Ironically, that one's sorta true, and it just makes them more interested.
Penny and Aggie There's nothing wrong with Tom. He's nice... charming, goofy... / Could it be that I really do prefer girls? / Let's never speak of that possibility again.
Penny and Aggie Wha'cha thinkin', Congresswoman? / Oh, just... / I wonder what it's like to date. / "Me, too" is the wrong answer, Nick. / It's... / Exciting, confusing, terrifying... / but... / You should do it. / It's not fair that I get you all to myself. / I said I wondered. / I don't want to do it yet. / Thank god.
Penny and Aggie Daddy means well, I know. But I think my heart belongs to animal rights. No room left over for love. / One week later...
Penny and Aggie Look at his smile! He's like a movie star... / God, he loves dogs! / I love dogs... / Look this way. Please look this way. Please... / Oh, God!! / He's! Looking! This! Way!!
 
Penny and Aggie Hi. / Hi! / Hot today, huh? / What? / Hot! Yes! I... support cooler weather! / You been running? / No offense. You look parched, is all.
Penny and Aggie ...No. I'm...not...running. / Oh, well. / Later. / Idiot!!!
Penny and Aggie HE HATES ME. / WHAT, AM I TOO GOOD TO RUN WITH HIM? / WHO DOESN'T RUN? / LAZY, BORING PEOPLE, THAT'S WHO... / NO. NO. HE DOESN'T HATE ANYBODY. I CAN TELL. / HE'S JUST FORGOTTEN I EXIST, THAT'S ALL! / WAAAH...
Penny and Aggie Hi. / ...Hi. / Is something wrong? / ...I have to tell someone. / My m-m...mom is...gone. / Oh, my god... / I lost mine too. Three years ago. / Y-you wanna...talk? / It hurts so much... / Then just cry on me. / I'm here for you.
Penny and Aggie I want to be grown-up, but... I can't help missing her... / Shhhh. / You want my mom dead just so you can "relate" to me? / You're sick! / ...
 

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