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This could change everything Two scientists look solemnly upon their creation, a wheeled chicken with exhaust muffler.
TURISMO DE AVENTURA !!! A photographer has to flee a giraffe stampede.
Abe Lincoln Never got it Abe Lincoln stands impassive as an offscreen voice chuckles: "and the guy says, 'rectum? darn-near killed 'im!'"
Find cut-rate software here Four computer software boxes on a shelf: / 3-D Carp Simulator / THE SIMS: old n' tired / HORRIBLE CLIP-ART / Norton Disk Rapist
i am a new person A photo of a smiling baby.
 
You never know what could happen A man is about to put his finger into a hole labeled "insert Finger".
share this experience with your friends A man on a Segway is about to accidentally drive off a cliff, and waves to onlookers who make no move to stop or warn him.
Please tell me this is a joke A man standing in a driveway looks up to see his car in the branches of a tree.
You cannot do that! A mother scolds her son for putting puppies in the toaster.
no more tickets! A sad child stands at the locked gate of the Wonka factory as Willy Wonka and an Oompa-Loompa point and laugh from the inside.
 
Michel brownie A happy brownie (the kind you eat) wearing a beret waves to the viewer.
Huge Horse In The Mouth A doctor is surprised when a horse emerges from his patient's mouth.
Your Life Ins. Company PRAYS you will NEVER SEE this. Excited carnivalgoers notice the "Ride the Sledgehammer" attraction, where patrons seated in rows get hit by a huge hammer.
Premium cigars with hat and travel case A happy cigar wearing a hat and holding a briefcase is walking somewhere.
whole choir stood there A church choir is nonplussed by the elephant that has entered the room. One singer points.
 
The sunshine after the rain is to make you e.nj'oy the world A crudely-drawn person sits in the rain with an open umbrella. / "apologies to Sam"
Mom? A little boy's mother has apparently turned into a horrible tentacled creature.
Our little secret Despite the "Keep out!" sign, someone opens the door and finds a man half-dressed in a chicken suit and surrounded by eggs.
Never been easier A simplified iMac features only two keys on its keyboard: "Music" and "Porn".
America's best kept Secret A small group of people converse under a sign reading "Gerard Depardieu Fan Club."
 
hide your license plate Grover Sesame Street's Grover, his mouth wide open, thrusts his arm across the rear license plate of a car.
today is the best day An overturned truck, labeled "CARAMEL APPLES AND PUPPIES," spills said items onto the ground and into the arms of happy people.
ha ha ha your penis is so small Elijah :) A photo of Elijah Wood, as Frodo in "Lord of the Rings," looking despondent.
Look out for your Family A stereotypical nuclear family (man, woman, and child) advance, zombie-like, towards two screaming people.
Scientific breakthrough or dumb luck? Cans of "Spray Bacon" are deployed.
 
Home is where the heart is A man arrives home, unhappy to see a giant, beating heart occupying the room.
the bigger the better A waiter holds a yards-long pepper grinder and asks seated diners, "Fresh-ground pepper?"
U are Stupid Dumbass If U Pay Retail Price For Softwares mentioned Four computer games on some shelves: / OMAR SHARIF STRIP POKER / ATTEMPT TO LEARN GUITAR THEN GIVE UP / VIRTUAL GOUT / Pawn of THE MAN
whoa, check this out A wide-eyed person watches a hamster juggle while riding a unicycle.
Make Your C*ck A Hammer A man clutching his groin is ushered aboard an ambulance. In the foreground, a bent nail has been driven only partially into a wooden plank.
 

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