You're browsing the archives of Sheldon.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 10 / 2007 GRAMP: You gotta understand... massages aren't my thing. / / GRAMP: I mean, I'll do the kind where you're clothed, and you're leaning forward on the leanin' thing... / / GRAMP: But I don't wanna get all naked, and get rubbed with oil and hot rocks and center my cheech. / / ARTHUR: ...Center your chi? / GRAMP:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 11 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I tell you what: since I don't really want a massage, why don't I just pay you back for the gift certificate? / ARTHUR: No! Just get in the case and GO - you'll love it! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: PLEASE... I know me. I'll actually get MORE tense from a full-body massage. Let me just pay...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 12 / 2007 [[Spa]] / Door: Welcome / GRAMP: This is ridiculous. You can DO this. It's just a massage and a pedicure. / / [[Spa]] / GRAMP: Grrrr. Stop it! No! Don't get all "macho caveman"! You can do this! Be man enough to show a softer side! / / [[Spa]] / GRAMP: You can DO this. / You CAN do this. / You can do THIS. / (SOUND FX):...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 13 / 2007 [[Spa]] / Masseuse: Ok, sir, I need to ask you to disrobe, now. / GRAMP: Like DISROBE disrobe? / / [[Spa]] / Masseuse: Yes, but you'll be wearing this robe. / GRAMP: I disrobe... and then I'm given a robe in exchange? / / [[Spa]] / Masseuse: Um, yes. / GRAMP: What if we keep the robe, and I maintain my own enrobening? / / [[Spa]] / Masseuse:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 14 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Look! Flaco! A duck pond! Let's check it out! / FLACO: Squee! Squee "squee"! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: What do you mean I "can't call it a duck pond"? / FLACO: Squee squee squee squee / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 15 / 2007 NARRATOR: ANIMALS & THEIR NATURAL DEFENSES / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (underwater)]] / NARRATOR: THE BLOWFISH... and its spines / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: THE SKUNK... and its odor / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (sand)]] / NARRATOR: THE SCORPION... and...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 16 / 2007 [[Spa]] / GRAMP: I'm sorry, Miss. I can't get naked for this massage. / / [[Spa]] / GRAMP: Since my wife died, the ONLY person who sees me naked is my doctor / / [[Spa]] / / [[Spa]] / GRAMP: And EVEN THEN, it's a terrifying experience for everyone involved. / Masseuse: ...That's probably better left unsaid.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 17 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Wait... you DIDN'T get the massage? / GRAMP: No... look... I'm an old, heavyset dude. Naked massages bring up, like, 48 anxieties for me. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Did you at least get the foot massage? / GRAMP: Heck no! I am way too conscious of my feet-stank. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 18 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (Generic): Hi! Ford Motor Co. here, to talk to you about our "Ford 500" car! / Thinkin' about buyin' one? ...Of course you're not! No one is! We've sold, like, THREE of these things. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (Generic): But rather than take a long,...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 19 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (Generic): MARGARET! HI! IT'S ME, SAM! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (Generic): Yes!! I'm immensely interesting! Everything I say is a sparkling gift to the world! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (Generic): That's why I'm speaking so ungodly LOUD!...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 20 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Gah! Gah! / ARTHUR: ...What? Wassamatter? Waswrong? / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Potter! ...Harry! Emotions! ...Conflicting! So excited... for... last book.... but then... realization hits... no... more... books... after... this... reading... done... ow / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 21 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: If you'll bring your chair and tables to their upright and locked positions, we'll begin our landing preparations. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: We recognize you have a choice when you fly, and we thank you for flying Arthur Airways. / / [[OUTSIDE...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 22 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Wanna see something funny, Flaco? / FLACO: Squee! / ARTHUR: Okay - check this out. / / [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / ARTHUR: Hey... so.... you think Harry Potter bites it in the last book? / SHELDON: HRNNG / / [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / SHELDON: Stop no ixnay with the talking...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 23 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / Ready-to-serve meal: "Remove tray from box. Punch holes in tray's plastic cover." / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / Ready-to-serve meal: "Place tray in microwave. Cook on high for five minutes." / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / (SOUND FX): beep beep beep wrrr / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / Ready-to-serve...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 24 / 2007 [[backyard]] / ARTHUR: Sometimes I don't get you. Why do you barbecue in SUMMER? / / [[backyard]] / ARTHUR: The temperatures are in the 90's! It's hotter 'n Hades outside! Yet you pick this time to perch over the open flame of a BBQ! / GRAMP: I know... I know / / [[backyard]] / GRAMP: My belly is amazingly hot. / ...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 25 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE (backyard)]] / SHELDON: Gramp, can I take Arthur to San Diego Comic-Con in my corporate jet? / / [[THE HOUSE (backyard)]] / GRAMP: Without an adult? / SHELDON: Well, see, Arthur's coming, so... / / [[THE HOUSE (backyard)]] / GRAMP: Lord no. You expect to go to a convention of 100,000 nerds without an adult?? / SHELDON:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 26 / 2007 NARRATOR: GREAT COMIC-CON MOMENTS: "Waiting in line for the bathroom" / / [[Bathroom]] / GRAMP: Um... How are you gonna...? / R2D2: I..... I'm not sure yet...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 27 / 2007 NARRATOR: GREAT COMIC-CON MOMENTS: "Meeting the creators behind your favourite comic books" / / [[Convention]] / Advertisement: MEET THE CREATOR OF ÜLTRAGUY / Arrow: feigned surprise / NARRATOR: They create huge, muscle-bound characters that are rippling with strength. But when you meet them, they're the thinnest,...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 28 / 2007 NARRATOR: GREAT COMIC-CON MOMENTS: "When five friends decide to all dress up like jedi TOGETHER!" / / [[Convention]] / NARRATOR: But then one friend blows the look. / man (generic) 3: You're a jerk, Gary... / Man (generic) 4: Pika pika!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 29 / 2007 [[Convention]] / SHELDON: At San Diego Comic-Con, fans like to dress up as their favourite characters. / ARTHUR: But with 100,00 people there, you'll eventually see: / / NARRATOR: BODY TYPES THAT DON'T FIT THEIR COSTUMES / / [[Convention]] / NARRATOR: "The Flash" / Man (Old): Wait up! Wait up! / NARRATOR: "The 7-foot...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 30 / 2007 [[Baseball Field]] / SHELDON: Hold on, Dante. Time out. / (SOUND FX): Eeee horng... eeee horng... / / [[Baseball Field]] / (SOUND FX): Eee horng... eee horng... eee horng... / / [[Baseball Field]] / (SOUND FX): Eee horng... eee horng... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: I shouldn't be able to hear you breathe from four blocks...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 31 / 2007 NARRATOR: Grunting. It's a natural response to lifting a heavy object. / GRAMP: HRNN / / NARRATOR: Even animals grunt when they lift a heavy load. / Elephant: HRNNNNNN / / NARRATOR: All it takes is a heavy enough strain. / Gorilla: HRN / / Arrow: 3% movement of tail / NARRATOR: Or, in the case of a pug, ANY basic activity. / OSO:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 01 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / FLACO: SQUEEEE squee squee squee-squee / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Were you just singing Frank Sinatra's "Fly me to the Moon"? / FLACO: Squee. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Was that a "yes" or a "no"? / FLACO: Squee / / [[nonspecific (white...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 02 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Whatcha drawing, Dante? / DANTE: Hope. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Hope? Like, HOPE hope? What does hope look like? / DANTE: I... dunno. It's easy to draw a taco, or a jet-powered pig, or a donkey... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest,...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 03 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: To an artist, all criticism feels like a personal attack. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: 'Cause, see... my art is an extension of ME. It's an expression of everything I am. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: And that's...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 04 / 2007 [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: Ladies and gentlemen: the captain has indicated a water landing today, which is a rare treat! / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: The landing gear has been lowered, so we can begin our smooth-as-silk touchdo- / / [[Duck pond]] / (SOUND FX): BAM. BAM. Bammity bam bam SPLASSSH / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 05 / 2007 NARRATOR: TYPES OF BIKES... AND WHAT THEY COMMUNICATE / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Normal bike: "I'm far cooler than any car on the road. Except on days when it hails" / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Sport bike: "I'm 18! And I can't conceive of my death!" / / [[nonspecific...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 06 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Tell me what you think of this sketch. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: The shading isn't quite right. And... the perspective is a bit off. And the hands don't look great. And I could stand to rework background stuff... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 07 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Shakespeare added 1700 new words to the English language... can you imagine that? / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: 1700 words! And he just made 'em up! / ARTHUR: Wow. Musta been rad to be Shakespeare. / / [[Elizabethan London]] / Man (Generic): Didst thou write the word "rootie-toot-zoot-zootie"...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 08 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: What if Shakespeare didn't create all those new words? What if he just wrote down words he heard? / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: But imagine what that would mean! It means we'll never know the true linguistic genius who coined those words! / / [[Elizabethan London]] / Man (Old): 'Ello, guv'nah!...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 >>