Sheldon archives

You're browsing the archives of Sheldon.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 10 / 2006	[[Kitchen]] / NARRATOR: THE LAZY MAN'S GUIDE TO DISHWASHING: Why leave your dishes NEXT to the sink? Put them INSIDE, instead! / / [[Kitchen]] / NARRATOR: That way, they're out of sight, and you can ignore them for at least a week. / GRAMP: LA, LA, la, la, LA. / / [[Kitchen]] / NARRATOR: ...Until the flies come. / GRAMP:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060110.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 11 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / NARRATOR: If you wait too many days to wash dishes, you'll find that the gunk reaches a new level of "gross". / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / NARRATOR: And if you're a true guy, and you find yourself staring down at nasty dinnerware, you WILL ask... / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / GRAMP: ...Is... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060111.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 12 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / NARRATOR: If you wait too long to wash dishes, "life" begins to form in your sink. / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / NARRATOR: And not just life, but whole ecosystems! New CIVILIZATIONS begin to rise! / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / NARRATOR: And once that happens, all you can do is wait. / / [[THE... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060112.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 13 / 2006	SHELDON: Using "science", it's possible to measure a dog's interest in different subjects. / SHOES! Do you like shoes, boy? Do ya? / / SHELDON: 90 degrees. / / SHELDON: Ok... how about... / CHICKEN! Wanna piece of chicken? Do ya?? / / SHELDON: ...160 degrees of interest. / ARTHUR: That is freak-factor 9000. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060113.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 14 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Check it out: Oso tilts his head when you say... CHICKEN! And if you say "Wanna go OUTSIDE for chicken?" ...he goes the other way. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: What if you say "Go walkies outside for chicken-chicken-chicken?" / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Newspaper: US WEEKLY - Stars! They're dumb... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060114.html

Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 15 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE (Garage)]] / ARTHUR: You're lying. / GRAMP: I’m telling the truth… cross my heart and hope to die. / / [[THE HOUSE (Garage)]] / ARTHUR: “Cross your heart”? What the heck is “cross your heart”? / Is that like “cross your heart bras”? / / / [[THE HOUSE (Garage)]] / GRAMP: WHAT? / ARTHUR: What? / / [[THE HOUSE... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060115.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 16 / 2006	[[nonspecific (white background)]] / Tim Bibbons: Hello, I'm Tim Bibbons. Editor of "US Weekly" magazine. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Tim Bibbons: Saturday's cartoon implied that "US Weekly" is so dumbed-down... even a dog could read it. THAT is a plain old lie. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Magazine:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060116.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 17 / 2006	[[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: What star sign are you? / SHELDON: I don't believe in star signs. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You don't believe in star signs? / SHELDON: I don't believe you can forecast one's future based on an out-of-date star chart that wasn't... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060117.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 18 / 2006	[[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Think! Who do you think writes your daily horoscope? / ARTHUR: I dunno... astrologists? / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: No! It's copywriters! Low-paid, barely inspired copy-writers! / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: What's a copywriter? / SHELDON: It's what English majors transform into after living in... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060118.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 19 / 2006	[[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: How can you NOT believe in astrology? / SHELDON: It's bull pucky, Arthur. Grade A bull pucky. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: You're just saying that cause you're a rational capricorn. / SHELDON: No, I'm saying it because it's a ridiculous load of hoo-haw. / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Josef Stalin,... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060119.html

Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 20 / 2006	[[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Horoscopes are just a harmless bit of fun. I don't actually believe in - / SHELDON: "Sagitarius: outdoor sojourns will cost you dear today" / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest,... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060120.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 21 / 2006	[[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: "Sagitarius: You're outgoing and gregarious; a leader of the pack today!" / ARTHUR: Ha-ha! See??! Astrology works! That's me to a "T"! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: I intentionally lied. That one was for "Aries" / ARTHUR: No it... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060121.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 22 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: PHEW. I shouldn't have had all that coffee. / ARTHUR: What? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Coffee. I had too much. And at my age, it has certain, shall we say... EFFECTS. / ARTHUR: Ok, I'm gonna need to stop you right there. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Why? I said nothing indiscreet. ...Just that... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060122.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 23 / 2006	[[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: The F-16 jet banks into a turn at mach 3. The pressure is incredible! / VRRROW! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: It's on a mission to save the world! ...From a time-travelling t-rex! / RAR! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Pa-choo! Pa-choo! / GLARGH! / / [[nonspecific... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060123.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 24 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: …And if you drum towards the front, you get a much higher pitch. / (SOUND FX): Bip! bip! bip! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: But moving to the sides creates a much lower, richer sound. / (SOUND FX): THUM THUM THUM / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Bip! bip! THUM bip! THUM bip! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060124.html

Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 25 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Why, herrro, Arthur! How are you this morning? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Wassamatter, Arthur? Why won't you say "herrro" to me? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Oh, man. I need to lose weight, don't I? / ARTHUR: Why not ask Mr. Tumnus von Flabulous there? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060125.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 26 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: It happens so slowly, you don't even notice it... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...But as you gain weight, your sense of touch fades. / It becomes... DULLER, somehow. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: You don't notice the subtleties anymore. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: For example, I'm not even sure if my... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060126.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 27 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! / GRAMP: ...What? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! / GRAMP: WHAT? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: It's so strange... the dog gets angry when I'm naked. / ARTHUR: Dogs can sense when things aren't right. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060127.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 28 / 2006	[[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! Hy- / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! / NARRATOR: True tales from owning a pug, #1 http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060128.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 29 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Stop it with this foolishness. / ARTHUR: I'm telling you, man... I've been reading up. All the signs say we're in the ENDTIMES. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: The Mayan calendar ends in 2012. Ends! Completely! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And Nostradamus predicted Charles would be, like, the... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060129.html

Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 30 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: But... the Mayan calendar ends COMPLETELY in 2012! It must mean the end of the world!! / GRAMP: I'm sure we're fine. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: But why would it end like that! There must be a horrifying, horrifying reason!! / GRAMP: Never underestimate good ol' office laziness. / / [[Ancient... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060130.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 31 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: 1.) Hits wall straight on / 2.) Somehow rebounds into a tuck-roll / 3.) Back right paw touches ground for 1/8th of a second / 4.) Launches 20 feet from that one push / 5.) Hits crotch at roughly 7000 mph / / [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! / NARRATOR: Our wonderful new "Welcome Home"... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060131.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 01 / 2006	[[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (noon)]] / OSO: Hype! / Hype! / Hype! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (dusk)]] / OSO: Hype! / Hype! / Hype! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (night)]] / OSO: hype / hype / hype / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (morning)]] / OSO: Hype! / Hype! / Hype! / NARRATOR:... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060201.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 02 / 2006	[[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Everyone knows Newton's 1st law of motion... / Isaac Newton: 'Ello. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: "Every object in a state of motion tends to remain in motion unless an external force is applied to it." / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: This... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060202.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 03 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: And it's a triple word score! / ARTHUR: Whoa whoa whoa "syzygy" is not a word. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: It is. It's an astronomy term. / ARTHUR: It's an astronomically bad lie is what it is. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Do you want to challenge? / ARTHUR: You know I can't! I'm too far behind... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060203.html

Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 04 / 2006	[[Store]] / Cashier: Phlbt! / SHELDON: Hey! This cashier short-changed me! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Friends, is this you? Do you feel helpless in situations like this? Why not ask yourself: W.W.A.K.D.? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Klingon: Cashier has no honor! / SHELDON: Wow! Thanks... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060204.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 05 / 2006	[[Store]] / Screen: Hi! Welcome to Shopmart groceries! / / [[Store]] / Screen: While you're waiting in line, why not pick up some gum? I'll play you some Barry Manilow in the meantime! / / [[Store]] / Screen: And check out my "upbeat" news-scroll at the bottom of my screen... as 10-second clips of "Dharma and Greg"... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060205.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 06 / 2006	[[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: ...So I sez to him I sez, "Workin' hard, or hardly workin'?!" Heh heh heh. / / Klingon: Gr. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Klingon: Duck's story boring! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: MYAAA! / SHELDON: "What would a Klingon do?" The hip new... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060206.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 07 / 2006	[[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Yessir! The new phenomenon of "W.W.A.K.D" is sweeping the nation! / Klingon: GrrrAAAH! / (SOUND FX): CRACK! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Everyone is feeling a new sense of empowerment just by asking "What would a Klingon do?" / / [[nonspecific (white... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060207.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 08 / 2006	[[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Listen to this quote from John Adams: "I will be a warrior so that my son may be a merchant, so this his son may be a poet." ...What a great summary of the American Dream! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...Of course, in order to pay off his father's debts, the poet's son... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060208.html

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 >>