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Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 05 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE]] / Transformer: / Chair: / Newspaper: / GRAMP: / SHELDON: / NARRATOR: There's a certain dread when someone asks you to fix something for them. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Transformer: / Chair: / Newspaper: / GRAMP: / SHELDON: / NARRATOR: Because nine times out of ten, it means you have to go to a hardware store...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 06 / 2009 [[pond]] / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: Getting INTO the pond is easy. You just cannon ball in. / / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: And the swimming isn't the problem, either. The swimming's great. / / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: It's the GETTING OUT that's a problem. You gotta walk through the super gross pond mud. And it's all slimy and nasty...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 07 / 2009 [[THE POND (in pond)]] / Ball: / ARTHUR: It's weird that you can only say "Pomp and circumstance" Together you never hear anyone say "Pomp" by itself. / SHELDON: 'Cause if you try to say pomp by itself it becomes pompous. / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / Ball: / ARTHUR: Ah. Yes.YES....
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 08 / 2009 [[THE POND (in pond)]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: You know what else is weird? You never use vim and vigor by themselves. You always have to use them together. / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: And if you say it's because using vigor alone becomes vigorous I WILL BE ALL UP IN YOUR BUSINESS. / / [[THE POND...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 09 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: I'm so excited: city hall is having an art contest for kids! / ARTHUR: An art CONTEST? What do you mean by "contest"? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: Like, you know, a contest-contest. You submit art, other kids submit art...and judges pick the winner. / / [[nonspecific...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 10 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Plate: / ARTHUR: What kind of are are you submitting for the contest? / DANTE: Well, since it's a KIDS art contest, I thought I'd make a statement about the poor state of arts education in the country. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Plate: / DANTE: BEHOLD! It is a...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 11 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: / DANTE: I'm not happy with my art submission. I gotta try making something else. But WHAT? / What what what? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Painting? Drawing? Textiles? Sculpture? / ARTHUR: Whatever it is you better hurry. The deadline...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 12 / 2009 Clay: Strip title: Types of Sculpture (as demonstrated by a first-time sculptor) / Panel label: Pre-historic sculpture / DANTE: Phoo!How old is this clay?? / (SOUND FX): knead knead kne ea kn / / Clay: Panel label: Religious sculpture / DANTE: Lordy Lord sculpting is tricky / / Clay: Panel label: Roman Sculpture / (Dante...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 13 / 2009 [[City Hall]] / DANTE: Ma'am? I'm here to submit a painting for the art contest. / Old Lady: Oh! Are you submitting for your little brother or sister? / / [[City Hall]] / DANTE: Ma'am? I don't think I understand. / Old Lady: You do know this is an art contest for 5- to 6-year olds, right? / / [[City Hall]] / DANTE:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 14 / 2009 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: You've got to take your art out of the contest, dude. It's not fair to have you competing against five-year olds. / DANTE: I...I can't. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: It's not too late. Just go back and ask for it. / DANTE: I CAN'T...don't you see? / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 15 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background) (shadow)]] / DANTE: Ma'am, I'm here to confess: I'm a 10-year old who entered the 5-year old's art contest. / Old Lady: Oh my. / / [[nonspecific (white background) (no borders)]] / DANTE: Yes.Yes. It's not something I'm proud of. And yet, I hope the truth will bring some redemption....
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 16 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (grass, Rocks, tree)]] / DANTE: It's silly. I shouldn't need an art contest to tell me if I'm any good or not. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (grass, Rocks, tree)]] / DANTE: What I need to do is find value in my own self-worth. I need to give MYSELF an...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 17 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / [[Living Room]] / Chair: / Newspaper: / Glasses: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: Let's say I'm writing a sentence inside parentheses. BUT I want to end my point with a smiley face. How do I write that? / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / [[Living Room (In Gramp's chair)]] / Chair: / Newspaper: / Glasses:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 18 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Salesperson: Friends, do you enjoy the look, feel and taste of mud? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Salesperson: Does the idea of wet earth sloshing around your gums sound just delightful? Mmm mmm / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Salesperson: Do you find yourself...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 19 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE (Hot Day)]] / Fan: / SHELDON: / (SOUND FX): Wrrr / / [[THE HOUSE (Hot Day)]] / Fan: / SHELDON: / (SOUND FX): Rrrr / / [[THE HOUSE (Hot Day)]] / Fan: / SHELDON: Woo! / / [[THE HOUSE (Hot Day)]] / Fan: / SHELDON: / (SOUND FX): Wrrr / / [[THE HOUSE (Hot Day)]] / Fan: / SHELDON: / (SOUND FX): Wrrr / / [[THE HOUSE (Hot Day)]] / Fan:...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 20 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Z / GRAMP: z / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: z / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: zzz / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: Z* / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...This has gone awry. / GRAMP: YES... THIS HAS.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 21 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / GRAMP: Well I'm off for my physical. / ARTHUR: Didn't you JUST get one? / / [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / GRAMP: 12 months ago. But I'm 65... and the medical industry recommends that a 65-year old get a physical every 29 minutes. / And every time, they want to check some NEW, TOTALLY...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 22 / 2009 [[Doctor's Office]] / treadmill: / Doctor: This treadmill stress-test is designed to evaluate how your body handles light activity. / GRAMP: maugh! / / GRAMP: maugh maugh maugh / / GRAMP: Phooo! / / Doctor: You let me know when I can turn the treadmill on. / GRAMP: Sorry. Had...trouble...gettin'...shirt off...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 23 / 2009 [[Doctor's Office]] / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Things you don't want to hear from your doctor... / Doctor: Wow, I've never encountered this ailment before. Let's look it up online. / / [[Doctor's Office]] / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Things you REALLY don't want to hear from your doctor... / Doctor: Hey, whaddya know: it's a ...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 24 / 2009 GRAMP: Doc? About these blood tests you've ordered? There's a ba-jillion things checked off. / Doctor: Yeah...I'm sorry about that. / / GRAMP: It's like you went into a Denny's, opened the menu, and said "Yes." / Doctor: Oh come on, now. / / GRAMP: There are tests on here I've NEVER heard of! How many weirdo body...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 25 / 2009 [[Doctor's Office]] / GRAMP: You draw blood often? / Nurse: ...been a nurse 23 years. / / [[Hospital]] / GRAMP: Seems like a tricky thing to do. Drawing blood. Like this. / Nurse: Not really. No. / / [[Hospital]] / GRAMP: But it's dangerous, yes? A dangerous task? Drawing blood? / Nurse: Not really. / / [[Hospital]] / GRAMP:...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 26 / 2009 [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: At every meeting I've ever attended, there's always one jerk who uses the "we can send a man to the moon" line. / ARTHUR: the what? / / [[Boardroom]] / Woman (Old): / man (generic) 2: / Man (Generic): I don't get it. We can send a man to the moon, but we can't get this product to market?!? / / [[THE...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 27 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Goose: / ARTHUR: Quack? Quack Quack Quack? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: / Goose: HONK. Honk honk honk / / [[THE POND]] / Ball: / ARTHUR: He says no, you can't have your ball back. / Goose: honk honk honk honk / SHELDON: C'MON.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 28 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: / SHELDON: When I got my pug, I was told that "they only shed twice a year." / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: / SHELDON: I now realize this is true. They DO shed only twice a year: once throughout the first six months, and again throughout the second six...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 29 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: / SHELDON: A-Hoop / Hoop / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: A-Hoop / Hoop / Hoop / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / SHELDON: A-Hoop / Hoop / Hoop / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: A-Hoop / Hoop / Hoop / FLACO:...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 30 / 2009 [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: / Pug: / ARTHUR: Two dudes: one rich, one poor. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: One goes to a restaurant and orders to his heart's content without glancing at prices. The other ...always orders the soup. / / [[THE POND]] / Pug: / ARTHUR: One gets in a fender-bender, and writes a check to fix his...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 31 / 2009 [[Grocery Store]] / Wallet: / cash register: bipp bipp bipp / Cashier: 89 CENTS FOR THE GUM. / GRAMP: uh-oh. ALL I HAVE IS A 50-DOLLAR BILL. / / [[Grocery Store]] / cash register: / money: / Cashier: YIKES. I ONLY HAVE ONES TO MAKE CHANGE WITH. / GRAMP: no No NO. ...I CAN'T FIT ALL THOSE BILLS IN MY WALLET. / / [[nonspecific...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 01 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (grass, Rocks, shrubbery, tree)]] / Trees: / rock: / Bush: / FLACO: / inchworm: / ARTHUR: It's really only when you miss... ...That I appreciate how TRULY nasty your tongue is.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 02 / 2009 [[Outside - Rocks]] / ARTHUR: Pop quiz! You know that crusty gunk that forms at the edge of your eye every morning? / SHELDON: yeah, sure. / / [[Outside - Rocks]] / ARTHUR: Ok, so, over the course of your life, how much of that stuff do you think you produce? / SHELDON: C'mon, man. Why would you even ask that??...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 03 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE]] / Bed: / ARTHUR: Wanna go to the pond later today? / SHELDON: It's 3 AM. get out of my room. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Bed: / ARTHUR: Yeah, but can we go to the pond? / SHELDON: Room. Out. Go. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Bed: / ARTHUR: Yeah, but- / SHELDON: No. Stop. 3 AM. Private Room. Not welcome. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Bed: / ARTHUR:...
 

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