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| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 15 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: I told you... I don't want to do a Fox t.v. reality show. / Fox Producer: If you don't, Fox News will run a story saying you've genetically-engineered a breed of super-soldier hamsters... creating an unholy army of the night. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: I DID NO SUCH THING! / Fox Producer: "Fox News: we report, you decide." http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030515.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 16 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: A reality t.v. show? Filming in OUR house? Really? / SHELDON: Yep. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: When did they get here? / SHELDON: Late last night. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: LAST NIGHT?? Did you tell Gramp? / SHELDON: Not yet... why? / / [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030516.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 17 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So let's review.
/ Currently, I'm living with my billionaire grandson... AND a talking duck who is obsessed with Catherine Zeta-Jones movies... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: And NOW, a reality-t.v. show will be filming in my house?? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Yes. / GRAMP: WOW. That gypsy's curse was remarkably accurate. / ARTHUR: SHH! Some of us are trying to watch "Chicago". http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030517.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 19 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: The reality t.v. show continues... / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Cameraman: ! / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / / [[Darkness]] / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / SHELDON: Phew! / / [[Bathroom]] / SHELDON: OH NO YOU DON'T... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030519.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 20 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Fox Producer: We've spent two weeks filming your life for reality television ...and all we're capturing is your boring, daily routine. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Fox Producer: So we're gonna make a tiny adjustment to the show... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Fox Producer: We're bringing in 20 insecure ladies to compete for your billions. / SHELDON: Ah yes. "Reality" television. / Woman (Generic): PICK ME! PICK ME! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030520.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 21 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: I'm not comfortable with 20 ladies competing for my hand in marriage. / Fox Producer: But Shel, babe! It's a golden t.v. moment! How can you say "no"?! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Well, for one thing, I'm only TEN... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Fox Producer: Ooo... that's pushing it. Even Fox has a sense of decency. / SHELDON: THERE'S a statement I never thought I'd hear... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030521.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 22 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / GRAMP: That's odd. Somebody put their magnet poem at the bottom of the fridge... / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / GRAMP: "The moon rises as the pants fall"? / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / GRAMP: 'S that some sort of haiku or something? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030522.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 23 / 2003 | [[THE POND]] / DANTE: Um, what are you doin'? / SHELDON: Surfin'. / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: In the pond? / SHELDON: Yep. / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: Ever the optimist. / SHELDON: Yep. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030523.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 24 / 2003 | [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Um... God? I know this is only a pond, but do you think I could have one wave to surf? / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: The Lord works in mysterious ways... / SHELDON: HEY! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030524.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 26 / 2003 | [[Sheldonsoft]] / sign: Secretary / SHELDON: Can you fax this? / ARTHUR: We have witnessed America's finest creation, and it is the CORNDOG. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: Take a meat-like substance... deep fry that puppy in corn batter... and VOILA - It's magic. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / SHELDON: Umm... so "yes", you CAN fax this? / ARTHUR: ...It truly is a little slice o' heaven... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030526.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 27 / 2003 | [[Sheldonsoft]] / sign: Secretary / ARTHUR: Wouldn't it be great if you could combine rock bands? / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: Like, you could combine "The Doors" with "The Cars" to get "The Car Doors". ...Or "Poison" with "Ratt" to get "Rat Poison". / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / sign: Secretary / SHELDON: Is this what you do all day? / ARTHUR: My good man... a duck's work is never done. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030527.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 28 / 2003 | [[Darkness]] / (SOUND FX): Klik. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / (SOUND FX): Klik. / / [[Darkness]] / (SOUND FX): Klik. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: Is it five o'clock yet? / SHELDON: Good to see you're putting in a full day at the office http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030528.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 29 / 2003 | SHELDON: "POWER TIE." / DANTE: Worst joke / ARTHUR: Ever. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030529.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 30 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: I just read that they may not make any more Star Trek movies. The last one made so little money that the whole franchise is in doubt. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Can you imagine that? No more Klingons... no more Vulcans... no more Star Trek. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: UGTH. / DANTE: His eyes have rolled back in his head. / ARTHUR: QUICK!! This man needs a "Lord of the Rings" DVD, stat! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030530.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 31 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: No new Star Trek movies?? You're kidding me. / SHELDON: Nope. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: This can't be! This just can't be!! Those movies are the high point of Western civlization! Everything that is noble and good is in those movies!! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: I get the feeling you're not being entirely sincere. / DANTE: ...AND WHAT WILL ALL THE NERDS DO WITHOUT KLINGONS AND SPACE BABES?! / ARTHUR: ......Go into fits, no doubt. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030531.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 02 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Gramp? Why do men have nipples? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: What is this? "Stump your grandfather day"?? / ARTHUR: ...And what's this I hear about chickens having lips? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030602.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 03 / 2003 | [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: What's wrong? / SHELDON: MICROSOFT. They're attempting a hostile takeover of my company. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: Wow. You gotta hand it to them...they're ambitious. / SHELDON: "Ambitious"?? They're relentless! They're obsessed! Like...like... / / [[Underground]] / Gollum: We wants it...the precious...we must haves it... / NARRATOR: Tomorrow: "Lord of the Software." http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030603.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 04 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Bill Gates / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: His software has come to dominate the world market. He is wealthy beyond belief. / / [[Darkness]] / NARRATOR: ...But what DRIVES him? What mantra pushes him on to such great success? / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Bill Gates: "I am NOT a scrawny dork. I am NOT a scrawny dork..." / NARRATOR: We will never know. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030604.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 05 / 2003 | [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: Microsoft is trying to buy you out? / SHELDON: Yep. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: YIKES. The most powerful software company in the world... And they're coming after you!! / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: What are you gonna do? / SHELDON: The only thing I can do... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Aw c'mon... It's not that bad... / SHELDON: Are you kidding me? Have you seen the size of their legal team?!? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030605.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 06 / 2003 | [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: You shouldn't be afraid of Microsoft. Anytime a competitor like you comes up with a better product, Microsoft just.... / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: ...Crushes them where they stand. / SHELDON: I was wonderin' how you were gonna finish that sentence. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030606.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 07 / 2003 | [[Oz]] / Bill Gates: Fly, my pretties! FLY! Bring me those ruby red slippers!! / / [[Oz]] / Bill Gates: Oh, and Australia! Bring me the entire continent of Australia for my very own!! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: ...Seriously! That's how Bill Gates appeared in my dream last night. / ARTHUR: Whoa whoa whoa. BACK UP A BIT. Explain again why I appeared as the dumb scarecrow?? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030607.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 09 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I'm just sayin' that it's bad parenting. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: When your grandson tells you that Microsoft is SPENDING BILLIONS trying to buy out the software company he runs... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: You shouldn't say, "The same thing happened to me as a boy." / GRAMP: IT WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF!! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030609.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 10 / 2003 | [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: What am I gonna do, Dante? I can't challenge MICROSOFT! / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Their cash reserves are enormous, their debt-to-equity is zero, they have a positive "ebitda", and they have a great operating margin!! / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: I'm just gonna assume you were speaking English there. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030610.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 11 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / DANTE: Hi, sir. Can Sheldon come out to play? / GRAMP: Sorry, Dante. He flew up to Seattle for a quick meeting with Bill Gates. / / [[sidewalk]] / / [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / (SOUND FX): ding dong / / [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / DANTE: You know, if you don't want him to play with me, you can just say so... / GRAMP: HE'S IN SEATTLE. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030611.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 12 / 2003 | [[Microsoft]] / ARTHUR: It's good that you're talking to Microsoft face-to-face. / / [[Microsoft]] / sign: MICROSOFT / ARTHUR: I'm sure they'll be much friendlier to you in person... / / [[Microsoft]] / Microsoft employee: HI! Welcome to Microsoft! Resistance is futile. / Microsoft employee 2: Ease up, Jerry. These guys aren't from Apple. / Borg: ...But in all seriousness, resistance IS futile. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030612.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 13 / 2003 | [[Microsoft]] / Borg: Welcome to Microsoft's corporate headquarters! Before we begin today's tour, can I answer any questions? / / [[Microsoft]] / (SOUND FX): WRR... CLIK! Beep beep beep / / [[Microsoft]] / SHELDON: Umm... what's with the cowboy hat? / Borg: Casual-dress Fridays. / (SOUND FX): BEEP! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030613.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 14 / 2003 | [[Microsoft]] / Borg: Oh, I'm sorry. You're not here for the Microsoft tour? / SHELDON: No. I have a meeting with Bill Gates. / / [[Microsoft]] / Borg: My apologies! I'll have his personal assistants escort you to his office... / / [[Microsoft]] / Oompa Loompas: Oompa loompa, doppa-dee-do... / SHELDON: Well, I see we've now exhausted all possible Bill Gates jokes... / ARTHUR: No, no... I'm sure this storyline has another week in it, yet. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030614.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 16 / 2003 | [[Microsoft]] / NARRATOR: America's two greatest software billionaires sit down for a chat. / / [[Microsoft]] / NARRATOR: Sheldon... / / [[Microsoft]] / NARRATOR: ...And Bill Gates. / / [[Microsoft]] / NARRATOR: The conversation is awkward. / SHELDON: So... bought anything cool lately? / Bill Gates: Bolivia. YOU? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030616.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 17 / 2003 | [[Microsoft]] / Bill Gates: When I started Microsoft, I was exactly like you, Sheldon… A sweet young kid with bright ideas and big dreams. / / [[Microsoft]] / Bill Gates: Ah… but that was so long ago, back before I had the buffalo heart installed. / / [[Microsoft]] / / [[Microsoft]] / SHELDON: HA! You had me goin’ for a seco / Bill Gates: It’s 128% more efficient. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030617.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 18 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Look, if you really wanna scare off Microsoft, you just need to use the magic words. Here - I'll show you. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Mr. Gates? "Sony Playstation" / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Bill Gates: AAAH!! It's killing my X-box system! I can't compete! Get it away! Get it away! MOMMY... / ARTHUR: There, there. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/030618.html |
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