You're browsing the archives of Sheldon.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 11 / 2003 | [[bait shop]] / sign: NIGHT CRAWLERS / ARTHUR: So it's true? This place sells WORMS...? ...IN BULK? / Cashier: Sure do! In fact, we're the only bait shop in town that offers the "Jumbo Bucket". / / [[bait shop]] / sign: NIGHT CRAWLERS / ARTHUR: If you were five-and-a-half feet shorter, I WOULD KISS YOU. / Cashier: My loss, lady-killer. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031211.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 12 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: How can you eat that? / ARTHUR: What, THIS? I'll have you know that this is no different than you eating a steak... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Except that you're eating a slimy, soft-bodied, segmented, creeping animal that burrows through dirt and mud for sustenance. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...Yer fancy book-learnin' don't scare me none. / SHELDON: BON APPETIT. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031212.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 13 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: This worm is your worm,
/ this worm is my worm,
/ from Cal-i-fornia, to the
/ New York Island / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: From the Redwood Forests,
/ to the Gulfstream waters,
/ this worm was made for
/ YOU 'N ME!! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...But mostly for me. / DANTE: EYGH.
/ ...Help yourself. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031213.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 15 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / ARTHUR: Just in case anyone cares, I'm pinning my Christmas list up to the fridge. / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / ARTHUR: Feel free to walk by and take a look. / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / ARTHUR: I'll just keep it up here. ...For easy reference. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I'VE PINNED MY - / GRAMP: I heard you. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031215.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 16 / 2003 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: You better not laugh, you better not cry! / DANTE: You better not pout, I'm telling you why! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: He's making a list, he's checking it twice... / DANTE: Gonna find out who's naughty and nice! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: This guy has issues. / SHELDON: Santa Claus is comin' to town!! / DANTE: Santa Claus is comin' to town!! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031216.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 17 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: You always accuse me of missing the true Christmas spirit, 'cause I use my billions to buy expensive gifts... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: So this year I'm giving out lovingly hand-made ashtrays. / GRAMP: WOW! Hand made? Good for you! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: I need six more. / ARTHUR: You're not paying me enough to work this fast! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031217.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 18 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I’m happy to see you’re avoiding extravagant gifts this year. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: To heck with spending your billions! Christmas gifts should be humble symbols of love and - / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...Why is this box MOOING?! / SHELDON: Lots of boxes moo. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031218.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 19 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: To kick off our holidays, I got us some good old-fashioned eggnog! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Nuthin’ says “tradition” like eggnog! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: You know, I say it every year, but I would truly rather drink bacon fat. / ARTHUR: Isn’t that what this is? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031219.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 20 / 2003 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / SHELDON: I can't drink this. Eggnog is just GROSS. / ARTHUR: What does "nog" mean, anyway? / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / SHELDON: "Naugahyde"? ...Naugahyde couches?? / ARTHUR: Sure tastes like it. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031220.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 22 / 2003 | SHELDON: We've received a lot of mail about our recent eggnog comments. / / SHELDON: Some folks didn't like that we compared the taste of eggnog to "SHOE". / ARTHUR: ...Or "kitty-litter in a cup". / / SHELDON: So today, we're going to allow for a rebuttal from the good people at the U. S. Eggnog Council... / / shirt: EGGNOG. It's what's for dinner. / U. S. Eggnog council member: How can you NOT like eggnog?! It's.... It's... A holiday staple!!! / ARTHUR: Kitty-litter. In a cup. I kid you not. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031222.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 23 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Eighty bucks!! Can you believe that?
/ Why don't they just take my arm while they're at it? SERIOUSLY! Saw it off! For eighty bucks, they can just SAW IT OFF! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: And now, my grandfather proudly presents his classic re-telling of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". / ARTHUR: ...Are you gonna help decorate the tree or not? / GRAMP: You mean my EIGHTY-DOLLAR TREE? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031223.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 24 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I'm sorry that I got upset about the Christmas tree.
/ I just really want to teach you that Christmas isn't about expensive trees, or fancy displays, or getting pricey gifts. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I hope you fellas see that. / SHELDON: We do, Gramp. We do. / ARTHUR: On an unrelated matter, could Santa hypothetically squeeze a widescreen plasma tv down a chimney?
/ ...How extensive are his super powers? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031224.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 25 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I love Christmas morning. The twinkling lights... the stockings... the smell of pine trees. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...And seventeen tons of wrapping paper. / SHELDON: Um..... I can't find Arthur... / ARTHUR: TELL MY MOTHER I LOVE HER!! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031225.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 26 / 2003 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: SIGH... I'm already bored with all my Christmas gifts. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And I've eaten all the chocolate in my stocking. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And there's no Christmas ham left. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...Can I call "Christmas do-overs"? / GRAMP: It's not a pickup basketball game. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031226.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 27 / 2003 | [[Bill Gates' house]] / SHELDON: We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas... and a happy new year!! / ARTHUR: We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas... and a happy new year!! / / [[Bill Gates' house]] / Bill Gates: BAH, HUMBUG!! / / [[Bill Gates' house]] / SHELDON: He said it!! He totally said it!! / ARTHUR: I love caroling at Bill Gates' house. / GRAMP: ...Way to spread that Christmas cheer, boys. / (SOUND FX): ZING! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031227.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 29 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You ever hear of Sturgeon's Law? / DANTE: No. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Sturgeon's law states that 90% of everything is crud. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Why are you bringing this up right now? / ARTHUR: No reason.
/ ...But I'm really enjoying watching you draw. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031229.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 30 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: So Sturgeon's Law says that 90% of EVERYTHING is crud? / ARTHUR: Yep. 90% of the art produced is crud. 90% of new books are crud. 90% of business start-ups are crud... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: There's only one thing that breaks Sturgeon's Law: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...New tv shows on U.P.N. / DANTE: 100% crud. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031230.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 31 / 2003 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: I didn't mean to make fun of your drawing skills. I actually think you're improving a lot. / DANTE: Oh... thanks. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: For example, I really like this horse you drew- / DANTE: CAT / ARTHUR: CAT / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...This is awkward now, isn't it? / DANTE: GO AWAY. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/031231.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 01 / 2004 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: If you’re serious about being an artist, there are three phrases you need to learn. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: “I am an artist. I create BEAUTY.” / / DANTE: I am an artist. I create beauty. / / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: “I am an artist. My art ENDURES.”
/ / DANTE: I am an artist. My art endures.
/ / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: “I am an artist. I’ll be late on the rent again.” / DANTE: I - / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040101.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 02 / 2004 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: Like a Greek god come to life, the model strikes a pose. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: But how can the artist capture such angelic studliness? / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: Could it be that the model is perhaps TOO good looking? / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / DANTE: Um, you know I stopped sketching you ten minutes ago. / ARTHUR: ...Which leaves me incredibly puzzled... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040102.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 03 / 2004 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: As an artist, your job is to find new ways to CAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF NATURE. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): WAP! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: "Captured". / ARTHUR: ...And with such subtle craftsmanship, as well. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040103.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 05 / 2004 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Wow, Dante, you're pretty good! Have you ever thought of becoming an artist? / ARTHUR: No way. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / DANTE: Artists get beat up their whole life. People laugh at them for being outcasts. ...AND they make no money. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...But when they DIE, they enjoy worldwide fame and riches. / DANTE: Oh joy of joys... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040105.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 06 / 2004 | [[THE HOUSE]] / DANTE: Your grandfather thinks I should be an artist when I grow up. / SHELDON: Really? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: All he wants for me is to be "normal" when I grow up. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / DANTE: Normal? / SHELDON: Yeah. He's afraid that my money is warping my childhood. He's afraid I'll grow up to be a freak. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / DANTE: He's not serious, is he?? / GRAMP: Two words: "PARIS...... HILTON". / SHELDON: "Rich and dumb". That's his big fear. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040106.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 07 / 2004 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: An artist can achieve IMMORTALITY through their art. Remember what Hippocrates said... "Life is short, but art is LONG." / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: Who's Hippocrates? / GRAMP: Um... you know... that guy... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: Never heard of him. What art did he create? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Um,... dunno. / DANTE: Fat lot of good immortality did HIM. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040107.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 08 / 2004 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Boy, was I wrong! Hippocrates wasn't an artist. According to this dictionary, Hippocrates was "the father of all medicine". / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...And apparently, "hippopotamus" means "river horse". / DANTE: ...You can put the dictionary away now. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040108.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 09 / 2004 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Really? You'll pay me ten grand for my drawing?? / SHELDON: Yeah! It's perfect for my company's lobby. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Oh. Wait. I left my wallet at home. I'll have to pay you later. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: ...What? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You are, by far, the worst business man I've ever seen. / DANTE: Sweet! It has chunks of cookie dough... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040109.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 10 / 2004 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: It says here that an IDEA, once conceived, never really disappears. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...Did you say something? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040110.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 12 / 2004 | [[movie theater]] / sign: FISH IN SPACE / DANTE: That movie was horrible. / SHELDON: Yeah. It was totally FRRRRRR... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: It was WHAT? / SHELDON: "FRRRR..." It's what I say when something's lame. / / [[Street]] / DANTE: Wow. You know what I say to that? / / [[Street]] / DANTE: FRRRRRR! / SHELDON: Hey! You can't counter-frr! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040112.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 13 / 2004 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: The bet is made / SHELDON: I'll bet you 40 thousand bucks I can get the whole nation saying "frr" within a week. / DANTE: I got 26 cents. / SHELDON: Done. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Consultants are brought in / SHELDON: FRRR! / ARTHUR: Are you having stomach pains? / / [[Warner Bros.]] / NARRATOR: Tv networks are bribed / SHELDON: Now what catchphase will you be using on all your shows? / Warner Bros. producer: Umm.... "brr"? / / [[Warner Bros.]] / NARRATOR: Accusations are made / DANTE: Hey! You can't bribe sad tv networks! / Warner Bros. producer: C'mon kid... "7th Heaven" just ain't bringin' in the dough. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040113.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 14 / 2004 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: There's no way you're gonna make "FRR" a popular catch phrase. / SHELDON: Hey, if Snoop Doggy Dog can make "Fo-Shizzle" popular, it's possible. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: Yeah, but you're no Snoop Dogg. / SHELDON: Oh, you'd be surprised what money can buy. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: Whaddya mean by that? / SHELDON: Have you seen Snoop's new single? / Man (Generic): FRR FRR FRR http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/040114.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 >>