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| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 14 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: As a general rule, nerds are pretty low-key... / (SOUND FX): Ponk-a ponk-a ponk-a / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: But every once in a while, something comes along that gets them worked up. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: They're cancelling "Star Trek Enterprise". / SHELDON: NO! ...Cursed be this mortal coil! / (SOUND FX): Riiiiiiiiiip! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050214.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 15 / 2005 | [[Star Trek support group]] / NARRATOR: The Star Trek Support Group was there for each other. / Nerd 1: I can't believe they're cancelling the show! / Nerd 2: There, there... / / [[Star Trek support group]] / NARRATOR: Soothing words were given. Hugs were shared. But one lone voice dissented from the group. / nerd 3: Well... The show DID sorta stink. / / [[Star Trek support group]] / NARRATOR: He was never allowed back in the group. ...Even for "Dungeons and Dragons Tuesdays". http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050215.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 16 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / shirt: Vulcan is for lovers / NARRATOR: At the Star Trek Support Group... / SHELDON: I can't believe they cancelled "Star Trek Enterprise". / Nerd 1: It was my only way to meet girls. / Nerd 2: I KNOW!! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Waving "hello" when a girl walks onscreen is not the same as - / Nerd 1: IT WAS TO ME! / Nerd 2: Sometimes, AT-AT, I think you're the only one who understands me. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050216.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 17 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: We should start a letter-writing campaign to bring back "Star Trek Enterprise". / nerd: Hey, good idea! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / nerd: We can lay out all the facts in a letter! / SHELDON: I'll go get a pen! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / nerd: ...And we should write it in Klingon! / SHELDON: Ooo... ummm... let's ease back on the dork-throttle just a smidge. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050217.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 18 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / nerd: Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that "Star Trek Enterprise" was cancelled. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / nerd: I mean, now I have time to write the great American novel! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / nerd: Or take up guitar! Or learn to paint! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / nerd: ...Or successfully talk to a girl without bazooka barfing! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Gotta chase those dreams. / nerd: Even just minimizing the barfing would be great. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050218.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 19 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: PTEW! PTEW! Aww, yuck! I left the plastic wrap on my cheese by mistake! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Peeeeel / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Chew chew chew chew / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: DISTURBINGLY similar taste. / ARTHUR: That's American cheese for ya. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050219.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 20 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Guys! Come quick! Check out the news! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: There's a massive volcano erupting in Italy! It's destroying everything! / GRAMP: AH-AH-AH. ....What's our rule about TV news? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: "To always check the little logo in the corner of the screen". / ARTHUR: Oh... right. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: My bad. ...History channel. / SHELDON: Remember when he thought the mongol hordes were invading? / GRAMP: ...Or that a "zombie Stalin" was once again ruling Russia? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050220.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 21 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: See, your expenses have to be LESS than your income. / DANTE: Ohh... I see. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: So when you bought those M+Ms, you went into the red. / DANTE: DANG. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: But then you found that quarter in your shoe, so you're back in black. / DANTE: Man, I hate tax time. / ARTHUR: Can I take a business write-off for the time I spent watching "The Apprentice"? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050221.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 22 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / sign: Anatomy of a nerd: / Arrow: Cell phone that's also a camera and a PDA. / Arrow: PDA that's also a camera and a cell phone. / Arrow: Camera that's also a cell phone and a PDA. / ARTHUR: ...All of which will be in a drawer six months from now. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050222.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 23 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: There is a great imbalance in the universe, Arthur. The yin has been yanged. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: My computer, once the epitome of cutting-edge technology, is now woefully obsolete. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: This must be corrected. I must purchase a new - / ARTHUR: Whoa whoa whoa... did you say "The yin has been yanged"? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050223.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 24 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Nerds can be so mean to one another. If they find out that I own an obsolete computer.... I just don't know what they'll do. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / talking Yoda trapper-keeper: Ashamed you should be, hmmm? / nerd: We are REVOKING your "talking Yoda trapper-keeper"! / SHELDON: Et tu, Yoda?? Et tu? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050224.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 25 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / nerd: The nerd tribunal has heard your case, Sheldon. / / [[Star Trek support group]] / Nerd 1: You have been judged GUILTY of owning an obsolete computer, and as such, your punishment shall be... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: ...A two-month banishment from the "Battlestar Galactica" chat room. / ARTHUR: Have they no pity? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050225.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 26 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: When a geek buys a computer, there are three distinct phases... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Phase 1: Researching it to death / SHELDON: Hmm... 9 out of 10 Bulgarian websites seem to prefer THIS model... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Phase 2: The ecstatic moment of purchase / SHELDON: I have not known joy 'til this moment. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Phase 3: Every day for the next two years / SHELDON: UGH. I can't wait to buy my next computer. / ARTHUR: ...You bought that yesterday. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050226.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 27 / 2005 | [[Computer Store]] / Clerk: Hi! Welcome to- / SHELDON: Enough with the chit-chat, storekeep! I wish to purchase your most cutting edge computer! / / [[Computer Store]] / SHELDON: Let it make DVDs! Let it run all my appliances! / / [[Computer Store]] / SHELDON: Let its memory dwarf the fabled library of Alexandria! / / [[Computer Store]] / SHELDON: Let its speed outshine the sun in sheer, white-hot INTENSITY! / / [[Computer Store]] / SHELDON: And let its processing power make you question the very definition of sentient life! / / [[Computer Store]] / Clerk: Um... OK. / SHELDON: And let it be bundled with a not-too-expensive printer. / ARTHUR: We're on a budget. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050227.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 28 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: DARN-FLARN! I Don't fit into my fat pants! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: And these are my pants of last resort!
/ Where can you turn when you can't turn to your fat pants? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Well, you can turn to the gym, for starters. / GRAMP: ...Or away from the mirror, at the very least.
/ This looks like two possums wrestling. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050228.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 01 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Ok, starting today, this house eats healthy! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: No more sweets, no more fatty foods. Just fruits and veggies. / ARTHUR: But what about all those boxes of choco-fudgies in the pantry? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Ok, starting NEXT WEEK, this house eats healthy! / SHELDON: And there's, like, ten things of ice cream in the fridge. / ARTHUR: Let's pencil this in for June, shall we? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050301.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 02 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: I never had problems maintaining my weight. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: I ate what I wanted and always looked great. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: In those long-gone days, my body was fantastic! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: ...But now all my pants seem to feature elastic. / GRAMP: "Fits all sizes." / ARTHUR: Including "Ecuador." http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050302.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 03 / 2005 | [[The House]] / ARTHUR: Here, eat this. It'll help you with your diet. / GRAMP: What is it? / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: "Tofu". / / [[The House]] / / [[The House]] / GRAMP: It looks like the love child of Styrofoam and Jello. / ARTHUR: Add in "dandruff shampoo" and you've pretty much described the taste. / ARTHUR: Bon appetit! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050303.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 04 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Hey champ! How's that diet coming? You been layin' off the sweets? / GRAMP: I'm... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Not... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Feeling so... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Well, I see we've reached the "sugar crash" phase... / GRAMP: Mother? Is that you speaking? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050304.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 05 / 2005 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / GRAMP: You know, maybe I'm not meant to be thin. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / GRAMP: Maybe there is some truth to that old saying... maybe I AM just "big boned". / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: Sure. "Big boned". ...Surrounded by "big gelatinous masses of fa - / GRAMP: ALL RIGHT. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050305.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 06 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / ARTHUR: Guys at the gym can be kinda funny. / / [[Gym]] / ARTHUR: They're either staring into the mirror while they work out / Man (Generic): I... am SO... hot... / / [[Gym]] / ARTHUR: Or re-hashing their old sports stories / man (generic) 1: ...And I held that title three straight years... / man (generic) 2: ...I could bench 400 at my peak... / man (generic) 3: ...I once scored a goal that stopped an alien invasion... / / [[Gym]] / ARTHUR: Or broadcasting how strong they are, with 100-decibel grunts / Bodybuilder: GERSH! / woman (generic) 2: OK, Captain Testosterone, we get the picture. / / [[Gym]] / ARTHUR: Or trying to compete / man (generic) 1: So whaddya think? 170 pounds? / man (generic) 2: I was doing 180 yesterday. / man (generic) 1: 190 it is, then. / / [[Gym]] / ARTHUR: Or just plain living in a fantasy world. / GRAMP: I hate to admit it, but I... am HOT... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050306.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 07 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Gramp, let's say you knew a hypothetical kid. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: And this hypothetical kid wrote some cool software and started his own company. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: And this hypothetical kid made tons of money. But he gave tons to charity, too. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Let's say this hypothetical kid decided he didn't need to go to school anymore. What would you say to that kid...? / / [[Bus Stop]] / ARTHUR: Let's say a hypothetical duck wanted to laugh at a hypothetical kid... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050307.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 08 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Today: split personality fun! / SHELDON: I am so excited about the new Star Wars movie! / SHELDON: Ugh. I am dreading the new Star Wars movie. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: I can't wait to see Darth Vader! / SHELDON: The last two movies were so painfully bad. Bad writing, bad acting, bad character development. Still, I have to go see this darn things just to see how it ends. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith! / SHELDON: Star Wars III: a trip to the dentist. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050308.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 09 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Are you familiar with the concept of "parallel universes"? / SHELDON: Yeah. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Well, if parallel universes are possible, then there must be a universe for EVERY POSSIBLE THING... no matter how far-fetched. / SHELDON: Yeah, I suppose. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Do you suppose that THIS is the parallel universe where you suddenly buy me a 'Popsicle'? / SHELDON: Sadly, that's two universes over... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050309.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 10 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Somewhere there's a parallel universe where I rule the world. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: That version of me controls the lives of billions. His rule is absolute. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: But he is so sad. So very, very sad. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Perhaps he's lonely from all that power? / ARTHUR: No, no, no... he just watched "Catwoman" on dvd... I'd be sad, too... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050310.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 11 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: If there ARE parallel universes, then there must be a universe where I don't exist. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: What a horrible, horrible possibility. A whole universe deprived of me. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Can you imagine the vast emptiness of such a place?? CAN YOU? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in another universe... / SHELDON: Doo dee doo... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050311.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 12 / 2005 | [[window]] / ARTHUR: The rain stopped! The rain stopped! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: That means millions of bugs will be looking for dry land. / / [[Front door]] / ARTHUR: Crawling, wriggling, STRUGGLING to make it to safety. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Only to have their lives tragically cut short by a duck with hot sauce. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050312.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 13 / 2005 | [[Kitchen]] / ARTHUR: Eww. You bought the peanut butter with the nuts in it?? Who buys that?? / / [[Kitchen]] / ARTHUR: It's supposed to be peanut butter. BUT-TER. It's not supposed to have actual nuts in it! / / [[Kitchen]] / ketchup: Ketchup, Catsup, Catsoup / ARTHUR: There's a reason they don't sell ketchup with whole tomatoes in it! ...Or sell apple juice with apple cores left in! / / [[Kitchen]] / GRAMP: All right! Point made! Sheesh! / ARTHUR: ...Or sell hamburger with chunks of hooves in it! / SHELDON: Actually, that one place on the edge of town did. But they're closed now. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050313.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 14 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / DANTE: Whatcha making? / SHELDON: I'm trying to build a working teleporter / / [[THE HOUSE]] / DANTE: Really? / SHELDON: Yeah. I got the idea for it in a dream last night. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: In the dream, I was sitting at a formal dining table, and waiters kept bringing me plate after plate of roast duck with— / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Ooo… Awwkwaaard. / ARTHUR: Man oh MAN did I walk in at the wrong time. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050314.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 15 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You built a teleportation machine? / SHELDON: Yep! I can send myself anywhere in the world! I'm testing it out by going to England first. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: I just enter the coordinates like so, and I'm off to London! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / (SOUND FX): ZAP! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Or, less impressively, to that tree over there... / SHELDON: And dang it... I'm missing a shoe. That ain't a good sign. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050315.html |
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