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Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 15 / 2005 [[Gramp's garden]] / GRAMP: You spend all day digging and planting and obsessing over your garden... / / [[Gramp's garden]] / GRAMP: But when it's all done, the most amazing feeling washes over you. / / [[Gramp's garden]] / / [[Gramp's garden]] / ARTHUR: Pride? / GRAMP: Tremendous, tremendous back pain. ...I've been crouched over all day.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 16 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / GRAMP: Behold! My garden is growing! It's blooming! And I made it happen! ME! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / GRAMP: I HAVE BROUGHT LIFE INTO THE WORLD! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / GRAMP: Or rather, I put life into the ground. / ...No, that doesn't sound right. / ARTHUR: How about you "buried life in specially dug holes"? / No, no, no... that sounds worse.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 17 / 2005 [[sidewalk]] / sign: CUPCAKES!! "Just like Mom makes" ('cause she did). / DANTE: Thanks, Mister Baden! / Mr. Baden: My pleasure, Dante. Good luck with the stand! / / [[sidewalk]] / DANTE: Have you ever noticed how some blind people always have a SUPER FRIENDLY smile on their face? I think that's pretty cool. / / [[sidewalk]] / DANTE: It's almost as if smiling is the NATURAL STATE of the human face. ...But society somehow shames us into NOT smiling. / / [[sidewalk]] / DANTE: 'Cause if you smile too much, you're labelled as a goody-goody... or untrustworthy... or just plain weird. / / [[sidewalk]] / DANTE: So from the time we're little, we're told to hide away our everyday joys... to look "serious". ...to act "normal"... to conform. / / [[sidewalk]] / Mr. Baden: Dante, I was just smiling 'cause I like cupcakes. / DANTE: Hel-lo! ...Trying to make a point here!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 18 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Hail and well met, citizen! It is I - / THE DUCK! / As guardian of this fair city, I fight evil wherever it rears its ugly head. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Tell me, gentle townsperson - have you seen any suspicious activity in this precinct? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: You mean ASIDE from the bird in the little costume? / ARTHUR: Aw, c'mon man. Throw me a bone here.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 19 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: The complexities of a superhero's life are varied and many... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: It's a life filled with hardship and sacrifice... both for myself and my loved ones. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: But suffice it to say, no... I can't do my dishes after I eat.
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 20 / 2005 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Indeed I DID eat your sandwich, gentle citizen. The Duck steals from the rich and gives to the poor. / GRAMP: How does owning a sandwich make me "rich"? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: 'Cause... um... your grandson is a billionaire. / GRAMP: SO? It was MY sandwich! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: How 'bout them Red Sox? / GRAMP: Make me a new sandwich!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 21 / 2005 [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Come Stickboy! We must fight evil to save our fair city! / DANTE: I don't wanna play superheroes today. / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Oh. Well... that's fine. 'Cause I've got a backup sidekick that's way better than you. / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Um, way, WAY better. / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Good thinking "Super Gnome"! You stand perfectly still while I sneak into the hideout! Oh, who am I kidding with this?
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 22 / 2005 [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Stickboy! Evil is afoot in our fair city! / DANTE: Indeed! And there's only one way we can stop it! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Yes? / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Um...we coculd go throw stones in the creek for a while. / ARTHUR: To the Duck-mobile!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 23 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It's been a good day, Stickboy. / We have vanquished all the super villians that threatened our fair city. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It's time for some well-deserved re - / SHELDON: Not so fast, heroes. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: You still have to get through ME. / NARRATOR: Next week: The Return of Thürg! / Also: You have a dentist's appt. on Tuesday. It's gonna be a packed week!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 24 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Phone's ringing. / ARTHUR: Indeed. It rings like my heart, clamoring for change and the dreams I have not yet accomplished. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: What? / ARTHUR: The phone. It rings like the clarion bell of my hopes and dreams. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So does that mean you'll get it? / ARTHUR: AHH... now that's the big question, isn't it? Will I pour all my efforts into achieving my dreams, or will I let petty distractions keep me from following the ringing in my heart? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Television: This week, both teams will be marketing the new X-TREME SPORTS MALT-O-MEAL. / GRAMP: Um, it's stopped ringing. / ARTHUR: ...And thus, I return to watching "The Apprentice".
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 25 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Puny heroes! You can not resist the strength of the mighty Thürg! BEHOLD! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: That would've been far more impressive if that wasn't a garden hose. / SHELDON: No garden hose dares oppose THÜRG!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 26 / 2005 [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It's time to get your ducks in a row, villain! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: 'Cause I'm gonna quack you into a thousand pieces! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: And your downfall will be a feather in my cap! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Can we JUST ONCE play superheroes without the puns and clichés? They're sooooo hokey. / ARTHUR: I beak to differ.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 27 / 2005 [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: The superhero battle-royale crashes across the metropolis! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Skyscrapers crumble! Buses are crushed! / / [[The House]] / NARRATOR: Quick break for lunch. / / [[The House]] / NARRATOR: Then back to the fury!!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 28 / 2005 [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (tree)]] / DANTE: I'll never talk, Thürg! I'm not afraid of your laser! / SHELDON: Then prepare to taste its fury! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (tree)]] / (SOUND FX): TRRRSHT / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (tree)]] / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (tree)]] / DANTE: I......am going....to DESTROY you... / SHELDON: Wait, did you say that in character, or did you mean that?
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 29 / 2005 [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: What super powers does Stickboy have, anyway...? / DANTE: My stick contains the power of ten suns. / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: FZANG! ...you're knocked back across the yard in a tidal wave of energy, as a massive explosion flattens surrounding buildings!! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: ...good that you described that. I wasn't sure what happened amid all the noise and light. / DANTE: ...and how about "Fzang"?
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 30 / 2005 [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Come, Stickboy! We must find Thürg's hidden base! / DANTE: We'll have to search the swamps of Slimeburg! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: And the Great Fog Forest! / DANTE: And the Mud Mountain! / SHELDON: I'm in the garage! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Or...perhaps...the Ice Fields of Freezonia? / ARTHUR: No, no, NO. The moment's been lost. / SHELDON: Sorry!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 01 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I wasn't born for this life. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I was born to fly. No - to SOAR! To take to the wind, and breech the very gates of heaven! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Gifted with the flight of angels, I must spread my wings and rise! Rise like a celestial creature... to be gazed upon by all below! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So... why are you still sitting here? / ARTHUR: Hold on, hold on... let a man finish his corn dog.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 02 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: UGH. What is that horrid smell? / ARTHUR: That, my good man, is the smell of free fish. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: The grocery store threw out two crates of perfectly good fish! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: And by "perfectly good", you mean rancid beyond belief? / ARTHUR: Rancid? This is pure fishy goodness / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Have some pride, man. / ARTHUR: WEN ID COMES DO FITCH, I DON HAVE ANEE BRIDE.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 03 / 2005 [[Store]] / GRAMP: I need to return this tripod. It doesn't work with my camera. / Clerk: You mean that industry-standard tripod, with its industry-standard mount, doesn't work with your industry-standard camera? / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: Oh. Um... no. My camera was, um, built in Nigeria. / / [[Store]] / / [[Car]] / ARTHUR: NIGERIA? / GRAMP: We shall speak no more of this.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 04 / 2005 [[Beach]] / ARTHUR: Sheldon? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Can you hear me ? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Buddy? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: If you can hear me... I think the milk may have gone bad. / SHELDON: CAP'N CRUNCH... HE... HE CALLS TO ME...
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 05 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: You should give Nostradamus a chance, Arthur. / ARTHUR: No way. Those predictions are useless. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: They're always super vague and can be read any way you want. / SHELDON: That is SO not true. Listen to this one... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: "On the day the sun rises in the East..." / ARTHUR: Off to a solid start.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 06 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: No! I don't wanna hear another Nostradamus prophecy! They're all painfully vague! / SHELDON: Vague? Vague how? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Your average prophecy sounds like "On a cold day in the nation by the sea, two men will battle for power. One will win." / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: ...Someone must've read this one to him already.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 07 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: This Nostradamus stuff is puregrade bullpucky. / GRAMP: No, no, no... he definitely had "the gift". / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: You can't make this stuff up. He MUST'VE been haunted by the future... and the horror of the centuries to come. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (Generic): Tell me more! 80 doubloons if you tell me more! / Nostradamus: Uh, yeah... ok... lessee... "And the East shall tremble as the moo-cow of destruction dances in empire of the shiny pebbles." Yeah. That'll do...
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 08 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So what's playing? / SHELDON: Well, there's an adaptation of a Japanese thriller that was better in the original Japanese. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: There's a sequel to a sci-fi series that should've been put to bed years ago. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: There's an uninspired teenage comedy starring Lindsay Lohan. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: There's a hack romantic comedy that's trying desperately to be "When Harry Met Sally". / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: ...And there's a remake of a remake of what was originally a ride at Disneyland. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Aww, c'mon... not even the Lindsay Lohan one? You guys are lame.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 09 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Tell me what you think of this sketch. Be brutally honest. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: No... don't actually. / ...I'm not sure I can handle criticism. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: No, no. DO. I need to hear your honest opinion. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: NO, I DON'T. ARGH! WHY DO I WANT TO BE AN ARTIST! / ARTHUR: This goes on for hours, by the way.
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 10 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Why do you care so much about being an artist, anyway? / DANTE: Artists have power! / Incredible power! / Like the poet Vincente Huidobro once wrote, "The poet is a LITTLE GOD.' / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Of course, Huidobro's been dead and buried for 57 years now. / ARTHUR: ..An irony not lost on the "big" God, I'm sure.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 11 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Do you really have what it takes to be an artist? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It's not a coincidence that most great artists had no social lives. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Growing up as acne-scarred dweebs, they never went out on dates. They spent their Saturday nights drawing while everyone else went to Prom. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: You make art sound delightful. / ARTHUR: There's a reason van Gogh chopped that ear off, brother.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 12 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: To learn the limits of your art, you need to try out different techniques. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Close your eyes and draw a rose without looking. / FEEL the pen. FEEL it moving across the paper. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Now... have a look. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: My rose looks like it got hit by a thermo-nuclear weapon. / ARTHUR: See? You've learned that sudden blindness wouldn't hurt your art style.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 13 / 2005 [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: What is ART, anyway? / Is art this rock? Or must I sketch it to become art? / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Is it this tree? Or must I sculpt it first? / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Is art this plump, juicy caterpillar? Or must I paint it...um... / Before ...um... / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: This is why I don't talk to you about art. / ARTHUR: MPH.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 14 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: How do you like the drawing so far? / ARTHUR: It's a good sketch of Gandhi, but why is he standing by the sea? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: That's not GANDHI. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: It's a lighthouse / ARTHUR: Ah. / That makes more sense. / I couldn't figure out why Gandhi was shooting beams of light at that whaling ship.
 

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