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Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 15 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: This dang thing froze up again. What should I do? / SHELDON: Call the league. / / [[orange background with blue star on it]] / sign: THAT'S RIGHT! THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY NERDS! ...ABLE TO HELP WITH ANY TASK! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: ...With computers! / nerd: Your codex will need to be reinstalled. / GRAMP: Don't your pants hurt? / / [[Park]] / NARRATOR: ...With chess tips! / nerd: Pawn to rook 6! Pawn to rook 6! / man (old) 2: No one asked. / / [[Library]] / sign: CLOSED / NARRATOR: ...With random "Twilight Zone" quotes! / nerd: That's not fair! That's not fair at all. THERE WAS TIME NOW! All the time I needed... / librarian: I'm sorry, sir... but the library's still closing. / / [[nonspecific (black background)]] / NARRATOR: ...And with the ladies! / Woman (Generic): Do you have a pen I could bor - / nerd: NYAHH!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050515.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 16 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: What is it with you and pancakes? You've eaten, like, fifteen. / ARTHUR: Pancakes and I have an agreement / ...they've agreed to be delicious. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...And I've agreed to gorge myself silly on them until I enter a narcoleptic state. / GRAMP: That can't be healthy. You've got to think of- / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Z / GRAMP: Oh nevermind.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050516.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 17 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Where the the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: ...Only you and your 35 pancakes. / ARTHUR: I think I'm ready.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050517.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 18 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Sometimes it must be wonderful to be God. To look down on earth and see all the GOOD THINGS. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: To witness those moments when we overcome our lesser natures, and create things of TRUE BEAUTY that enrich the world. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I REALLY like pancakes. / GRAMP: So I see.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050518.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 19 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / pancake mix: INSTANT! / ARTHUR: Oh pancakes, will you ever know, the lengths to which this duck will go to taste your buttered fluffiness, the breakfast treat that I love best. / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / ARTHUR: I need just one to find pure bliss. Just one! I need no more than this! But if life puts me in a rut... / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / ARTHUR: "...I cram two dozen in my gut." / SHELDON: Nice work, Jabba. / ARTHUR: HOH HOH HOH.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050519.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 20 / 2005 [[Kitchen]] / Mister Pixie-Mix: Hello Arthur. / ARTHUR: Aigh! Who are you?? / / [[Kitchen]] / Mister Pixie-Mix: I am Mister Pixie-Mix, the pancake fairy. / / [[Kitchen]] / Mister Pixie-Mix: Because you love pancakes so much, and because your heart is true, I'm taking you to the land of pancakes. It's a magical place of maple syrup rivers and butter-pat flowers. / ARTHUR: Wow. / / [[Kitchen]] / GRAMP: I'm cuttin' him off. That duck ain't right. / SHELDON: What tipped you off? / ARTHUR: The colors! Oh, Mr Pixie-Mix! They're so pretty!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050520.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 21 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Ate... too many... pancakes... stomach woozy... feeling ill... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Need... to get to... bathroom... feel like... world's ending... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with massively excessive vomiting.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050521.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 22 / 2005 [[Store]] / GRAMP: Wiggle the toes. Are you wiggling the toes? / SHELDON: I'm wiggling the toes. / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: How do they feel? They feel ok? / SHELDON: They feel fine. / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: Jog around for a bit. See how they do. / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: There ya go! Break 'em in a little... keep going. / SHELDON: Keep going? / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: Yeah. Go past "Housewares". / SHELDON: ...But if I do that, I'm gonna run smack into the- / / [[Store]] / sign: Food Court / GRAMP: Oo! Hey! Get me a churro. / SHELDON: ...Just once, I'd like to get shoes without having to buy a pastry.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050522.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 23 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Hi. I'd like to make an appointment for a family portrait? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Friday, if we could. Mm-hm. For two people / ARTHUR: And a duck! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: And a duck? / ARTHUR: And a duck. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...And a duck. / ARTHUR: A hot duck. Tell them to expect total hotness.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050523.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 24 / 2005 ARTHUR: I'm ok with a family photo, as long as you promise we're not doing MATCHING SWEATERS. / / ARTHUR: Something's just not right with a family that does matching sweaters. It's like mom's a little type-a... / Or they're all a little dead inside. / GRAMP: No worries! / / GRAMP: We're each gonna wear khakis and a button-down blue shirt. / ARTHUR: Ahh, so we're going for the "Kinko's sales staff" motif? / SHELDON: ...Should we pose in a surly and unhelpful manner?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050524.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 25 / 2005 SHELDON: Wearing matching family outfits...sincere were you? / GRAMP: What? / / SHELDON: Of family photo do I speak. With matching outfits, dorks we will appear, yes? / GRAMP: Are you speaking English? / / SHELDON: Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to matching family outfits. / GRAMP: ...Did the milk go bad or something?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050525.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 26 / 2005 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: So here's what I'm thinking... / for our family photo. We go with a "Lord of the Rings" theme. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Gramp will be a cave troll attacking Frodo... played by Arthur. And I'll be Gandalf, off to one side and looking menacing. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...Look. I've made a little diorama. / ARTHUR: Yes. I'm sure you have. / GRAMP: Wait... a WHAT troll??
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050526.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 27 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Why are you looking at other families' group photos? / GRAMP: I'm trying to figure out what kind of pose we should do together. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Do we go for the "smiling family pyramid", or the "group hug with the lean forward"? / ...Or maybe the "holding hands and looking back over the shoulder pose? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Man, the cheese is really dripping off the walls, isn't it? / GRAMP: Living the lie that is modern photography. Such are family photos
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050527.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 28 / 2005 [[Photo studio]] / ARTHUR: Ugh. I'm really not in the mood to take our family photo today. / GRAMP: Me neither. / SHELDON: I can't even muster a smile. / Photographer: That's fine. Just keep in mind that you'll be staring at this dang thing over your mantle for the next decade. / (SOUND FX): KLIK! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Photo: Our Family
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050528.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 29 / 2005 [[Photo studio]] / Photographer: Ya, velcome! My name is Günter, eünt today vee are taking zee family photo, ya? / / [[Photo studio]] / Photographer: Fabulous. Ya. Eünt you brought a little duck... vot a statement! / / [[Photo studio]] / Photographer: Ya, Ok. My assistant Jërgen vill give you each a kitchen treasure. ...Hold it like you hold your failed dreams. / / [[Photo studio]] / Photographer: Oof! Now I am getting zee chills! / / [[Photo studio]] / Photographer: No! No! Don't look at zee camera! It is zee coming apocalypse, and you fear its gaze! / / [[Photo studio]] / Photographer: Good! Ya! Now make me hate you. You have killed my puppy! Vie vould you do zis?? I hate you. Ya... / GRAMP: ...Boy, Sears has really changed.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050529.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 30 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Check it out, fellas. Bought me a Segway! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Four computer chips respond to my slightest movement and take me where I want to go. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: WEEEEEEEEEE / ARTHUR: And now, truly, he is a dork on wheels.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050530.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 31 / 2005 [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: This is Skip. He's the new head of marketing for Segway. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: How's the job so far, Skip? / Skip: First day is going great! / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: So, the Segway is basically a $4000 version of those electronic scooters that sell for $99. Is that a hard thing to market, Skip? / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: ...Skip?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050531.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 01 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Explain to me what that segway does that WALKING doesn't do? / SHELDON: It does LOTS of things! Like... um... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: You know... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: ...Apparently I'm a bit of a sucker for unnecessary technology. / ARTHUR: I still remember your puchase of the "George Foreman lean, mean, doggy-bed warmin' machine".
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050601.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 02 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Gramp and I have a quiet understanding about my billions. / GRAMP: NO / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: I'm allowed to quietly purchase things like this $4000 Segway. / GRAMP: OO / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: ...And he's allowed to quietly inform me that I can't, in fact, purchase a $4000 Segway. / GRAMP: OOOOOOO / ARTHUR: He hasn't inhaled in three minutes.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050602.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 03 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: What happened in here?? Pillow explode? / ARTHUR: Sorry, that's me. It's spring molting time. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: It's that time of year when ducks shed the past for a bright, new future. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: A temporarily bright-pink future. / ARTHUR: Mmm. Brisk.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050603.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 04 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Good bread 'n' butter! What happened to you!?! / ARTHUR: Shedding season, my good man. I am, as the Italians say, living "al fresco". / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And without my feathers, I face the future like a newborn child. I have shed my past ENTIRELY. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Except for that tattoo. / ARTHUR: OH, LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE WITH A TATTOO OF BEA ARTHUR ON THEIR BUTT.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050604.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 05 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...And the coolest part of it is, with all my feathers gone, I can finally fit into the... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: EMPTY TURTLE SHELL I FOUND! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Part turtle, part duck - I'm like some weird Pokemon character. "Turduckle!" ...or "DUKTUTURO!" / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And my special Pokemon power is to scream something unintelligible in Japanese, and then do this - / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Foomp. / ARTHUR: DUKTUTURO, ATTACK! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: ...And then what? / ARTHUR: Then I get a wicked-huge cramp in my neck and need to lie down for a minute. / Ooooh, Duktuturo sad...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050605.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 06 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Boy, there's nuthin' weirder-looking than a featherless duck. / ARTHUR: ... Just as God made me, Mister. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: You're all pink and wrinkly and goose-bumpy... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: You look like a naked little Bruce Jenner. / ARTHUR: Bruce Jenner? Could you have picked a more random 1980 reference? / SHELDON: Oo! Oo! How about a naked little Mickey Rourke?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050606.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 07 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Man (Generic): Mary Ann, look! It's an Alabama pink-bellied duck! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Woman (Generic): No way! They're NEVER seen outside of Alabama! / Man (Generic): If only we could hear it's call. The Alabama pink-belly has a very distinctive call. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Caw! Caw! Chitlins! Caw! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Woman (Generic): Oh... my... gosh... / Man (Generic): I'm calling the Audobon society RIGHT NOW. / ARTHUR: I'm a giver.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050607.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 08 / 2005 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: I wonder if I can float with all my feathers gone. / / [[THE POND (bubbles rising to the surface)]] / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: ...Guess that answers THAT. / SHELDON: Someone is furiously pecking morse code on my foot.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050608.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 09 / 2005 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): POP! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): POP POP / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): POP POP pop pop / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): POP POP POP pop / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): POP POP! po pop POP POP! p POP! pop POP / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: What the heck was THAT? / ARTHUR: Ducks call that the "Orville Redenbacher".
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050609.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 10 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So I hear Dante's off to summer camp. / SHELDON: Heh heh yeah. Poor sucker... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Maybe YOU should give camp a try this summer. / SHELDON: Oh, I couldn't. I've got a company to run. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Your company can handle itself, Mister. A childhood is more important. / SHELDON: I'm afraid I have to put my foot down. I simply can not go. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: DANG. / ARTHUR: ...See you in 3 weeks.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050610.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 11 / 2005 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Gramp... seriously... I CAN'T go to summer camp.... my company needs me! / GRAMP: Oh really? When was the last time you even set foot in your precious company? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...I've sent in some e-mails. / GRAMP: Here's your sleeping bag, champ.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050611.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 12 / 2005 [[Store]] / GRAMP: Every life has its trials, you know. / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: You might think that being a billionaire means you'll never have a care in the world. But in a lot of ways, YOUR life holds more tests of character than the average person's life. / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: 'Cause in the end, we're not called to LIVE in this world, but to LIVE A GOOD LIFE. / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: Will you, with all your billions, live that good life? / / [[Store]] / / [[Store]] / SHELDON: Boy, ya grab two Oreo boxes in a moment of excitement, and some folks get all philosophical. / ARTHUR: Guess you're puttin' one back.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050612.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 13 / 2005 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Goodbye, little house! I'm off to summer camp! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Goodbye, internet! / Goodbye, laptop! / Goodbye, dvd's! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: ...And Scarecrow, I'll miss you most of all! / GRAMP: Move it along, Dorothy.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/050613.html
 

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