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| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 11 / 2005 | [[Doctor's Office]] / Doctor: I'm not kidding around. Excessive weight causes so many avoidable health problems. You have to lose that weight. / / [[Car]] / GRAMP: Oh yeah? Well maybe you ought to lose the attitude... eh, Doc? / / [[Car]] / GRAMP: Man, that would've been sweet. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051111.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 12 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Hey! So how'd the doctor appointment go? / GRAMP: Not so hot. My doctor said I had to give up sweets, and there was a big argument. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: You argued with a doctor about dieting? / GRAMP: Me? No way. But certain other parties did. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...In fact, certain other parties STILL won't shut up about it. / (SOUND FX): GRLLGRLL! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051112.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 13 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Dear God, It's me, Arthur! ...The duck. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: I mean, you probably know it's me. But I just met another Arthur at the library yesterday. ...So I wanted to be clear. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Arthur was checking out a book on gardening. The other Arthur, I mean. Not me. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: 'Cause Arthur and gardening don't mix - am I right? Um, that's me-Arthur. Not Arthur-Arthur. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: I'm sure ARTHUR loves gardening, what with checking out the book and all. Again, Arthur-Arthur, not - / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...Boy, no wonder he never writes back. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051113.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 14 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: What's with you? / SHELDON: Battlestar Galactic. New shows won't air until January! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Ít's not fair. They crank out 18 episodes of the Ellen DeGeneres show every day. Why do I have to wait two months for a single Battlestar Galactica? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Maybe they should let Ellen DeGeneres make sci-fi. / SHELDON: Man... at this point, if it was Ellen fighting Cylons, I'D TAKE IT. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051114.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 15 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / Computer: Dear Sci-Fi Network: What is up with Battlestar Galactica? You air, like, four episodes, then go on hiatus? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Computer: Who's producing this puppy? A high-school A/V club?!? How hard could it be? Are the special effects tricky or something? Or maybe you're just short on scripts...?!? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Computer: ...'Cause, um, if you are... please see my 42 fan scripts, attached. P.S: I am not a crazy person. / ARTHUR: THAT'LL reassure 'em... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051115.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 16 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Hello / Salesperson: Good evening, sir! This is not a sales call. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: It's not? / Salesperson: No, no, no! You're signed up for the "Do not call" list. A sales call would be illegal. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So what is this? / Salesperson: This is... um... a FRIEND calling. A new friend. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: A friend with many fine products, no doubt. / Salesperson: Yes! I mean no! Be cool, man... I'm being recorded! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051116.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 17 / 2005 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Gopher: Oh God! The light! How it burns! Aigh! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Gopher: Aigh! Like a billion halogen lamps! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Gopher: Why must it burn so?!? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: The horrible life of the gopher http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051117.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 18 / 2005 | [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Really? You like Chuck Norris? / ARTHUR: Yeah! Totally! / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Even with the bad 1983 beard, the overdone karate, and the stilted acting? / ARTHUR: Well yeah. He's... um.... / / [[Darkness]] / / [[Burning Building]] / Chuck Norris: I am needed elsewhere. A fan is losing faith. / Fireman: Go to him, Chuck Norris... go. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051118.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 19 / 2005 | [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Maybe you're right. Maybe Chuck Norris IS sort of a loser. I used to think he was cool, but maybe I'm wrong. / / [[Airplane]] / Chuck Norris: No! I can feel a fan losing faith in ME, Chuck Norris! / / [[Airplane]] / Chuck Norris: I must get there to help him! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Chuck Norris: Damn my active life-style!! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051119.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 20 / 2005 | [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Sometimes... sometimes I imagine the typical awesome day in the awesome life of the awesome Chuck Norris... / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / sign: Monday / sign: Tuesday / ARTHUR: 5:30 AM - Wake up. Immediately consume a 14-pound turkey. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: 6:30 AM - Morning calisthenics. Punch everything you see. / / [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / ARTHUR: 9:00 AM - Meditate on the mysteries of Chuck Norris. / / [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / ARTHUR: 12:00 PM - Knife fight with a monkey. Winner gets a 14-pound turkey. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: 2:30 PM - Tv break. "Blue's Clues". / Chuck Norris: Behind you! Behind you! / / [[Sears]] / ARTHUR: 4:30 PM - Visit local "Sears". Break watches with biceps. / (SOUND FX): CRACK / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: 9:00 PM - Travel back in time. Fight t-rex. / T-rex: AIGH! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051120.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 21 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE (front yard)]] / Chuck Norris: You! Are you the Chuck Norris fan who no longer believes in the power of Chuck Norris? / ARTHUR: Um, yeah. / / [[THE HOUSE (front yard)]] / Chuck Norris: Why that makes me so mad, I need to kick this 100-year oak... / / [[THE HOUSE (front yard)]] / Chuck Norris: TEXAS ROUNDHOUSE! / / [[THE HOUSE (front yard)]] / GRAMP: HEY! ...My tree. / Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris' tree. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051121.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 22 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Wow! I can't believe you travelled all this way to talk to ME!! / Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris would do anything for a fan. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Chuck Norris: And remember, kids... Texas rangers don't do drugs. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Chuck Norris: Say nope to dope, and ugh to drugs! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Except caffeine... eh, Chuck? / Chuck Norris: HEY! Chuck Norris needs his "fury fuel". http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051122.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 23 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: I look at you my friend, and see,
/ a shade of my mortality. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Were I but born a turkey, too,
/ I would now be as cooked as you. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: But it was fate or maybe luck that I was born a Peking duck. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Yet I'm not one to feel guilty... the pie takes care of that, you see. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051123.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 24 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Gravy Lake sits high atop Mashedpotato Mountain. ...Just above the sleepy town of Peaville. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Suddenly, a massive earthquake cracks the lake! Gravy comes pouring down! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: ...What can be done to save the inhabitants of Peaville?! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: They must be airlifted to someone else's plate. / ARTHUR: Nice try, hombre. Eat your own dang peas. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051124.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 25 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / Television: ... And here comes an annual favorite at the parade... the big kitty celebrating decades of hating lasagna!
/ / Television: Mondays, Jim.
/ / Television: MONDAYS! Of course! Brilliant! / ARTHUR: Must... change... channel... / SHELDON: Tryptophan... keeping me... from moving... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051125.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 26 / 2005 | [[Store]] / GRAMP: Excuse me, do you have - / Clerk: WELCOME TO THE GAP. / / [[Store]] / Clerk: We're on day two of the holiday music, and I'm already going batty. / / [[Store]] / Clerk: Oh... OH NO. The tape is back on "Carol of the Bells" / (SOUND FX): Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, throw cares away... / / [[Store]] / GRAMP: Ooo! I love this song. / Clerk: Might I interest me in some khakis? Why yes, thank you!! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051126.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 27 / 2005 | [[Grocery Store]] / Stock Boy: Hey. You want a sausage sample? / GRAMP: Would I?!? / / [[Grocery Store]] / GRAMP: Oh wow... those are really good. Really REALLY good. / / [[Grocery Store]] / GRAMP: Like party-in-my-mouth good. Seriously. WOW. "Wow." / / [[Grocery Store]] / Stock Boy: Dude, I make $5.25 an hour. Take as many as you want. / / [[Grocery Store]] / / [[Bedroom]] / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: ...The stock boy said it was like a wheat harvester. / GRAMP: I...
/ remember...
/ the chewing.
/ so much chewing... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051127.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 28 / 2005 | [[Candy Store]] / SHELDON: This candy store gives out $1 truffles FOR FREE with every purchase. / / SHELDON: BUT their cheapest mint costs just 25˘.
/ Soooo...
/ I buy the 25˘ mint, and get a free $1 truffle! / / / ARTHUR: ...YOU HAVE 68 BILLION DOLLARS. / SHELDON: ...Anna fee tuffle! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051128.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 29 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: I have had THE WORST feeling all day. Like the world was pressing in on me. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: And I couldn't figure out why. It was just a vague sense of stress and anxiety. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: ...Then I realized I had my undies on backwards. / ARTHUR: What a fantastic conversation I don't want to be having. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051129.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 30 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: No! I've decided! We're getting a fake tree. Real trees are a gigantic headache. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: They're expensive, they drip sap, they're a fire hazard... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: They drop needles everywhere, they're hard to set up, and they die in, like, ten minutes. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...And what's with young people wearin' their pants so low?? / ARTHUR: ...And who moved my Metamucil??? / GRAMP: Wait... yeah - who DID move my Metamucil? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051130.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 01 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Box: INSTA-TREE! / ARTHUR: How did a pine tree come to be the symbol of Christmas, anyway? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Well... um... the pine is an EVERGREEN tree... so I suppose it symbolizes the idea of everlasting life? / ARTHUR: And how does that symbolism work when you use that fake plastic tree? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Ummmmm... / ARTHUR: That fake plastic tree made in Shenzhen, China? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051201.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 02 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Something is missing with our fake Christmas tree. / ARTHUR: A-HA! ...So you've seen the light? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: You've seen how a fake tree is missing the spirit of Christmas? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: No - I mean "Something is missing with our fake Christmas tree." ...That's all there was in the box. / ARTHUR: Oh. Hrm. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051202.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 03 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): POP! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Not sure this is better. / ARTHUR: Now it seems like "a very Danny DeVito Christmas" somehow. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051203.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 04 / 2005 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / SHELDON: Wait - you're talking about "Stayin' Alive"? ...by the Bee Gees? / ARTHUR: Yep. That song has supernatural powers. It can force anyone to dance. Even if you don't want to. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: But you have to totally crank the volume. That's key. / (SOUND FX): WELL YOU CAN TELL BY THE WAY I USE MY WALK, I'M A WOMAN'S MAN, NO TIME TO TALK! / ARTHUR: If you crank it loud enough, no mortal can resist dancing. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: ... Not even Gramp. / (SOUND FX): WHETHER YOU'RE A BROTHER OR WHETHER YOU'RE A MOTHER, YOU'RE STAYIN' ALIVE... / GRAMP: Lyrics... make no sense... yet... must get down... with my bad self... / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: And, if you listen carefully, you can hear the exact moment Barry Gibb becomes a castrati. / (SOUND FX): I'M STAYING ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE! / GRAMP: My mind... saying no... but feet... keep... saying... YES http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051204.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 05 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: No! / ARTHUR: Well... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: No! / ARTHUR: Well... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: No! / ARTHUR: Well... / GRAMP: SING THE DANG CAROL RIGHT! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051205.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 06 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Eggnog, you disgusting drink I shan't partake of you, I think. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: You taste like strange revolting ick, and look like cats have taken sick. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Were I to try, or even taste, this stuff that smells like toxic waste... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: I'd need to chase it quick, it seems, with fourteen shots of listerine. / ARTHUR: ...Or hemlock. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051206.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 07 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: If I tell you something neat, can you keep a secret? / ARTHUR: No. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: What? / ARTHUR: No...I can't. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: I have a complete inability to keep a secret. / GRAMP: Are you serious? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Sheldon broke your "golf-at-home, putt-return" machine by shooting eggs across the kitchen floor... / SHELDON: I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051207.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 08 / 2005 | [[Kitchen]] / ARTHUR: So tell me about this big Christmas secret. / GRAMP: No. / / [[Car]] / ARTHUR: C'monnn / GRAMP: No. / / [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: Secret. / GRAMP: No. / / [[Table]] / ARTHUR: Seeecret. / GRAMP: No. / / [[Bathroom]] / GRAMP: FINE! I'LL TELL YOU! / ARTHUR: I've suddenly realized I've taken this too far. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051208.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 09 / 2005 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: You're getting Sheldon a pet for Christmas? But I'M his pet!! / GRAMP: ...Not really. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: "Not really"?! Well what am I then? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Well, you're sort of a pain in the a - / ARTHUR: I'M A PET! THAT'S WHAT WE DO! Right? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051209.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 10 / 2005 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Deer Diary: Today I found out Gramp is buying Sheldon a puppy. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: He says I don't do "normal" pet things, like "love unconditionally."
/ ...I told him I DO love unconditionally. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: And HE said Jessica Simpson didn't count. ...But I bet JESSICA wouldn't say that!! ...If she'd just answer my faxes. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/051210.html |
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