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Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 10 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: You know how people say "I'm gonna google such-and-such"? We should do the same thing. But with ARTHUR. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Turn Arthur into a verb? What would it mean? / ARTHUR: It would mean... um... that in comparison to me, someone else is a dork. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: That makes no sense. / ARTHUR: You make no sense. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: ...Ha! You so just got arthured.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060510.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 11 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: You totally just got arthured. / GRAMP: Got what? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Got arthured. I just sat down next to you, which highlights how lame you are in comparison to me. It's called getting ARTHURED. / GRAMP: Well who's to say you didn't just get gramped? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Actually, that sounds like a groin injury, doesn't it? / ARTHUR: Man... now you're just arthuring YOURSELF.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060511.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 12 / 2006 NARRATOR: Today! More punctuation marks that never caught on / ARTHUR: Oh my gosh! I'm so glad you called% / NARRATOR: %=Only a tiny part of me could be considered "glad" / / GRAMP: Hey! I thought I asked you to take out the trash! / SHELDON: I'm on it∞ / NARRATOR: ∞=As soon as I'm done watching TV / / GRAMP: Which shirt makes me look slimmer? / ARTHUR: They both look great on you <> / NARRATOR: <>=Either way, you look like a ham hock. The shirt won't help.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060512.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 13 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: You don't like it? / ARTHUR: Not at all! That shirt is so Nineteen Nineties! ...Or Eighties! You gotta update, man! Get in the, um, Zeroes! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: No... the Naughts? / GRAMP: The Oughts? / ARTHUR: The Nulls? / GRAMP: The Pre-teens? / ARTHUR: ...the Bridge to the 21st century? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Oh man... that's STILL a lame catchphrase, ten years later. / ARTHUR: How in hot buttered beer did that ever do well in focus testing?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060513.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 14 / 2006 [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: The seven stages of quitting coffee. Step one: your family lovingly suggests you give up coffee. / SHELDON: It's just... You sure drink a lot of that stuff. / GRAMP: You're right. / / [[Bedroom]] / NARRATOR: Step two: the immediate energy crash the next day. / GRAMP: Too... Tired... To... Finish... Putting... On... Pants... / ARTHUR: LOVELY. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: Step three: the uncontrollable sweats. / ARTHUR: Whoa... What smells like hamper? / / [[Bedroom]] / NARRATOR: Step four: the nighttime headaches. / GRAMP: The pressure! It's like Rosie O'Donnell is sunbathing on my head! / ARTHUR: Man... That's fairly descriptive. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Step five: success! No headaches, no cravings. / / [[mall]] / NARRATOR: Step six: you take one, tiny sip from a Starbucks sampler at the mall. / Starbucks employee: We call that blend "triple muy caro". / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: Step seven: your family lovingly suggests you give up coffee. / ARTHUR: Hey champ - maybe you should give up c - / GRAMP: Bugs. BUGS. ...They're everywhere.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060514.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 15 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Even MORE punctuation marks that never caught on... / GRAMP: Wow. Your theories about the U.N. are fascinating / NARRATOR: = Your ravings make no sense. I highly suspect you've been breathing paint fumes / / [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: HYPE HYPE HYPE / NARRATOR: = Hey! Look at me! The short hairy guy! Hey! ...I can bark louder if need be. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: ...Gramp? If God is all-powerful and all-loving, why is evil allowed to exist? / GRAMP: Good question / NARRATOR: = Oh man, really? We gotta go into this at 2 AM? Really?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060515.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 16 / 2006 [[The House]] / GRAMP: Dear Black & Decker, and every company that makes those lawn edgers with the orange, spinning wires. ...You stink. / / [[The House]] / GRAMP: Every time I edge my lawn, it takes me nine hours to thread that dang wire. Seriously. / / [[The House]] / GRAMP: Then, as soon as I use the edger, the wires break off completely. ...and I have to take the whole thing apart again. / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: You increasingly sound like a crazy 1840's gold prospector / GRAMP: And what, exactly are the "pralines" in pralines 'n cream??
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060516.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 17 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: It's the darndest thing. I get out of the shower and dry off completely. ... Not a drop of water on me. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: But as soon as I lean over, seven gallons of water come pouring out of my mustache. ... From thin air! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Fascinating conversation we could be having with pants on. / GRAMP: I'm not kiddin'. Seven gallons. I should measure it.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060517.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 18 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: This is the song that never ends; yes it goes on and on my friends. Somebody STARTED singing it not knowing what it was... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: And we'll just keep on singing it forever just becase.... this is the song that never ends; yes it goes on and on my friend... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was, and we'll just keep on singing it forever just because... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Arthur! Stomp your feet twice if you genuinely can't end it! / (SOUND FX): STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060518.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 19 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Like all physical matter, pugs can exist in various states: / SHELDON: Come! ...Oso! Come! / NARRATOR: Solid / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Don't go slippery on me... you're goin' outside. / NARRATOR: Liquid / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: New house rule: the dog does NOT eat pizza. / ARTHUR: Lordy. / NARRATOR: Gas
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060519.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 20 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: They call it a "muffin top"? / ARTHUR: Yep. When your fat pops out of the top of your pants like that, it's called a "muffin top". / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...Although it could also be related to the four muffins you had for dinner last night. / GRAMP: Ah-ah-AH. ..."Cupcakes".
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060520.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 21 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / Radio: Tired of listening to the same old pop songs and boring rock music?? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Radio: Well maybe it's time to turn that RACHMANIN-OFF! Maybe you shouldn't HAYDN to listen to that stuff anymore! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Radio: Maybe it's time you LISZT to something else! To get BACH to the true rockin' tunes, baby! Yeah! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Radio: Don't STRAUSS about it, man! You can HANDEL the righteous tracks we're puttin' down! / ARTHUR: I think the announcer at the classical music station is drunk.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060521.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 22 / 2006 [[Starbucks]] / GRAMP: One large vanilla latte, please. ...OH SHOOT. I'm not supposed to have coffee. ...Can we make it decaf? / / [[Starbucks]] / GRAMP: Hm. And sugar-free, please. ...And non-fat? / / [[Starbucks]] / Cashier: One large "What's The Point." / Clerk: Large browned water, coming up! / GRAMP: Yes. Great. THANK YOU.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060522.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 23 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: A house is a sort of living, breathing organism. / The central air is the lungs... the electrical is the nervous system... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: But if we live inside it, are WE living off it, or IT off us? It's an interesting ques - / / [[Front door]] / ARTHUR: Take me to school with you. I'd... I'd... rather diagram sentences. / SHELDON: Oh man. Yesterday he talked for 20 minutes about how Velcro is a viable alternative in seatbelts. / GRAMP: IT IS!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060523.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 24 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Seriously, man. It's not summer yet. Not 'til June. DON'T DO - / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: MAAAAAH! / ARTHUR: ...It. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: The open, short-sleeve shirt. The official summer uniform of Nascar fatties. / GRAMP: And my Miller Lite goes... here.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060524.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 25 / 2006 [[front yard]] / ARTHUR: If the breeze is just right, a bird can hover in midair, without... moving... a muscle... / / [[front yard]] / ARTHUR: And if you add in just the right facial expression... / / [[front yard]] / / [[front yard]] / SHELDON: Must you freak him out every day? / ARTHUR: I think it's lovely, the bond we share. Ha! He left six Sports Illustrateds.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060525.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 26 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Hey! You're getting pretty good at hovering. / ARTHUR: Yep! ...Without doing a blessed thing, I can stay up here forever! ...Defying all logic! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...JUST LIKE PARIS HILTON'S CAREER! / SHELDON: Boo. Hack Joke.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060526.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 27 / 2006 [[The House]] / ARTHUR: Behold, Young Grasshopper! I have mastered the art of hovering. / SHELDON: Big whoop. You've been doing that for days now. / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: But look and see, gentle flower! / For I have learned to truly focus my CHI. / ...like the ancient masters! / SHELDON: (turns to look in shock) / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: (whispering) ...also, I had some of your grandfather's triple-bean chili. / SHELDON: (clenching teeth in horror)
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060527.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 28 / 2006 [[backyard]] / SHELDON: Uh-oh... The neighbors tossed their frisbee over the fence. / / [[backyard]] / SHELDON: Excuse me! Did you lose your... TRON? / Tron: 'Sup. / / [[backyard]] / SHELDON: You live NEXT DOOR? / Tron: Yep. Closed escrow yesterday. BBQ'ing it up to celebrate. / / [[backyard]] / SHELDON: But you... You... / / [[backyard]] / SHELDON: ..You've REALLY let yourself go. / Tron: Hey, cut a brother some slack. I got a glandular thing. / Master Control Program: Ha! A glandular thing that likes bratwurst.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060528.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 29 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Wow, Tron, I still can't believe you're living next to me. You're, like, the coolest thing ever! / Tron: Pfft... I WISH. I'm a washed-up program. ...I feel like a Commodore 64 / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...Can I assume that's some sort of Beatles song reference? / Tron: Aw, man... get away from me, kid. You're depressing the *#@!! out of me.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060529.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 30 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / apron: KISS THE COOK / Master Control Program: Tron, you need to chill out. / Tron: But they're burning! You're doin' it wrong! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / apron: KISS THE COOK / Master Control Program: They're fine. Go sip your mint julep. / Tron: Just... just... lemme do it, will you?? LEMME DO IT!! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / apron: KISS THE COOK / Master Control Program: Sheesh. NOW who's the Master Control Program? / Tron: I'm just sayin'...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060530.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from May / 31 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Tron seems a little sad. / Master Control Program: Yeah. He feels like his movie never got the respect it deserves. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: But it's a classic! ...A fallen world where scheming machines rule! ...It totally inspired movies like "The Matrix". / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Tron: Inspired?!? That *#@!! piece of *#@!! totally stole my *#@!! movie's *#@!! plot! / Master Control Program: Quick, child! Show him your "Tron" lunch-box. It's the only way to calm him- / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Master Control Program: - down. Uh-oh... he's found the jug wine.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060531.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 01 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / ARTHUR: What happened? You don't wanna hang out with Tron anymore? / SHELDON: Nah. He's an insecure shell of what he used to be. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: It's sad, really. He's surrounded himself with Yes-Men... just to make himself feel better. / / [[Bathroom]] / Tron: Wow! Am I still a total hottie or what? / Yes-man: YES YES YES YE YES / NARRATOR: A totally random joke, even if you've seen the movie - Editor
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060601.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 02 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: BECAUSE. I admire a name like that. / When you say "cha-cha-cha", you know exactly what kind of dance it is. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: It's clear. It's vivid. It's a name that says what it is. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Yeah, well, that still doesn't explain why your mailing labels now say "Lord Fabulous von Studlington, of Chick-Magnet Way". / ARTHUR: Says what it is, brother... / says what it is.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060602.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 03 / 2006 [[The House]] / [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: What the heck is this show? / GRAMP: Ha! The Benny Hill Show. This was a huge hit in Britain when I was growing up. / / [[The House]] / [[Living Room]] / / [[The House]] / [[Living Room]] / / [[The House]] / [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: Was... all of Britain on drugs? / GRAMP: For much of the 1960's, yes.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060603.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 04 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / Book: Are You There, God? It's Me, Marga / GRAMP: Hey... they're looking for a new "Juan Valdez" to be the spokesman for Columbian Coffee.* / NARRATOR: * TRUE! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Book: Are You There, God? It's Me, Marga / GRAMP: Hey! I have a mustache! You think they'd be interested in - / ARTHUR: A retired, heavy set white guy who's allergic to donkeys, and who has never, ever worked in a field his whole life? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Book: Are You There, God? It's Me, Marga / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Book: Are You There, God? It's Me, Marga / ARTHUR: ...I say go for it.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060604.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 05 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: HYPE! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: Hype HYPE hype hype HYPE / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / (SOUND FX): snif / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Arrow: Rock / / NARRATOR: Today's GENUINE TALE FROM OWNING A PUG - God's smartest creature tm
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060605.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 06 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: The time he wanted to drink radiator coolant / SHELDON: No! No! ...Git! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: The time he thought he could climb / GRAMP: Aigh! How'd you get up there?! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: The time he ate two pounds of pebbles for Lord knows what reason / ARTHUR: Hey! Hey! Stop that! / NARRATOR: Pugs: They're like owning an incredibly dumb "Evil Knievel"
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060606.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 07 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: You're eating again? Heh heh... you're like a hobbit! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Like a hobbit? / SHELDON: Yeah! Hobbits like eating "second breakfast." / ARTHUR: But hobbits don't normally weigh in at deuce-sixty / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...What? / SHELDON: He said hobbits don't normally weigh in at deuce-fifty. / ARTHUR: Sorry... I'M SORRY. I'm only on my first cup of joe. Keep eatin'. You're doin' great. You're a champ. A champ...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060607.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 08 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Check it out. Your grandfather is asleep, but but his eyes are sorta open. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Man! That is freak-factor 9000, isn't it? PHOO! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: He looks like some weird zombie. It's giving me the chills. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Seriously. The chills. / SHELDON: ALLRIGHT ALREADY.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060608.html
 

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