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Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 09 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: David killed Goliath with a stone, right? / GRAMP: Right. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Wrong. Goliath was a GIANT. Which means he probably had "acromegaly" ...the body produces too much growth hormone, creating a HUGE human being. But the heart can't keep up, and eventually just gives out. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So, David killed Goliath...? / ARTHUR: ...By making him jog a little.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060609.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 10 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: How did you know a word like "acromegaly"? That's not a common word at all. / ARTHUR: Sheldon downloaded an encyclopedia into my brain, remember? I know all sorts of stuff. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ..."Geniophobia" is a fear of chins. / GRAMP: Good to know.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060610.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 11 / 2006 [[Museum]] / SHELDON: Hey Gramp? Why is it that, in this sea of blue dots, my eye is immediately drawn to the one red dot? / GRAMP: Because, the human brain is built to spot difference. To spot the thing that stands out. / / [[Museum]] / GRAMP: It's an evolutionary strength. You're more likely to survive if you can spot a hidden predator... or the one diseased berry in the bunch. / / [[Museum]] / GRAMP: It's one of the fundamental tasks of the brain: to spot the warning signs of a potential disaster. / / [[Museum]] / SHELDON: ...Didn't keep people from seeing "The Da Vinci Code". / GRAMP: Brain ain't perfect.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060611.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 12 / 2006 [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: Double word score! / GRAMP: What? No, it's not. You gotta land on one of these squares to get that. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: But I just heard you say it on your turn. / GRAMP: Cause I landed on the square! / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: ...Is it a bad time to admit I don't even know what we're playing? / GRAMP: When your first two words were "durfbam" and "skijy"? ...NO.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060612.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 13 / 2006 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Hey! It's Señor Skinny Dip! / GRAMP: Skinny dip? I'm not taking a skinny dip. That's when you go swimmin' naked. / / [[THE POND]] / GRAMP: Whereas I'm just swimming like I always do. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: So, not a skinny dip, then. A chunky dunk. / GRAMP: Hmm.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060613.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 14 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Hey! Hey! I got a postcard from my son! / SHELDON: From Flaco? What'd he write? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Well, he can't write... so NOTHING. / SHELDON: Then how do you know it's from him? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: 'Cause. The corner's been chewed on, and it smells like someone's been eating earthworms. / SHELDON: Man, that describes half of the people you hang out with.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060614.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 15 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: What a beautiful moment! My son has sent me his first postcard! / SHELDON: Where's it from, anyway? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: From Hollywood! ...FANCY! The front says "This town ain't big enough for the two of us." / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...And it has a picture of a 500-pound dude in a g-string. / SHELDON: Classy.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060615.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 16 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Arthur, this postcard is clearly Flaco's way of telling you he's COMING HOME. / ARTHUR: Oh? And how could you possibly know that? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You think you know my own son better than I?? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You think you got some fatherly intuition I AIN'T GOT?! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: No. I think he's in that bush over there. / ARTHUR: YOU THINK YOU HAVE SOME INSIGHT THAT CAN - oh.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060616.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 17 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Sweet mammy's ham! FLACO! ...You're home!! I... I thought I'd never see you again! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: We have so much to talk about! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: So much to - / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: I erased your TIVO picks.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060617.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 18 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Traditionally, when a computer translates an English sentence into, say, French, it has to use thousands of rules that were programmed in. And it comes out... clunky. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: But "statistical analysis" is a whole different way for a computer to translate. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: All the computer needs is a significantly long text in both languages, and it can figure out which words go with which. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: And some day, they think statistical analysis could be applied to dolphin language, so we can figure out what they're saying. / GRAMP: No way... / / [[Lab]] / Researcher 2: This can't be right. According to this, he just said "My kingdom for an opposable thumb." / Dolphin 1: ...I keep dropping my "Filet o fish" / Dolphin 2: Dork
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060618.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 19 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Turns out Flaco's been working as a tv producer in Hollywood. / SHELDON: What? How could you know that? Flaco doesn't talk. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Flaco and I have a symbiotic father-and-son connection. ... AND we're unbelievably good at charades. / SHELDON: Yeah. Sure. THAT I'd like to see / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: A SOLID 36 MINUTES LATER / ARTHUR: A cat! Is it a cat? A cat! A kitty cat! How many syllables? A cat!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060619.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 20 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Apparently, Flaco rode out to Hollywood on the back of a tomato truck. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Brochure: STAR MAP - see the kitchens of Dom DeLuise / Brochure: TOUR the ancestral home of Don Knotts / NARRATOR: "For a few days, he checked out all the typical L.A. sites" / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: "But then, he somehow managed to get into a Hollywood studio lot" / Guard: Um... / / [[Hollywood Studio]] / sign: Para / NARRATOR: "He thinks the guards mistook him for someone else." / Guard: Man! Kevin Federline looked terrible.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060620.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 21 / 2006 [[Studio]] / NARRATOR: As soon as Flaco snuck on to the studio lot, he headed right for the food. / / [[Studio]] / NARRATOR: Specifically, the egg salad. / Movie Executive: Check out THIS guy! What passion! He dives into what he loves! We need a guy like this on staff! / / [[Studio]] / director's chair: Flaco - Producer - CSI: Cleveland / NARRATOR: And just like that, the magic happened. / Assistant: More egg salad, Mr. Flaco?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060621.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 22 / 2006 [[Hollywood Studio]] / sign: Quiet on the set / NARRATOR: Flaco, on the set of "CSI: Cleveland Nights" / Assistant: Sir? Did you get a chance to review next week's script? / / [[Hollywood Studio]] / sign: Quiet on the set / Assistant: You did? Or... didn't? What's that look? / / [[Hollywood Studio]] / sign: Quiet on the set / Assistant: Oh God. You hated it. You thought it was cow patty. / / [[Hollywood Studio]] / Assistant: Complete rewrite, boys and girls! He thought it was Omaha cow patty! / NARRATOR: Unknown even to himself, Flaco was a tough boss
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060622.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 23 / 2006 [[Car]] / NARRATOR: Flaco had been swallowed by the Hollywood life: he bought himself a hybrid... / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: He began hanging out with Jack Nicholson... / Jack Nicholson: Here's my one acting tip, Flaco: play the SAME CHARACTER in every movie you're in. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: And he found love, with actress Scarlett Johansson / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Or rather, with her "Segway" / NARRATOR: That thing was, like, SUPER cool
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060623.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 24 / 2006 SHELDON: Hold on, hold on... you're trying to tell me that Flaco RAN a tv show? / ARTHUR: Yep. / / SHELDON: No way. Don't believe it. There's no way a tv show would accept a slimy little LIZARD as a producer / / SHELDON: I mean... ...unless it was on Fox. / ARTHUR: HEY-O!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060624.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 25 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Why do people pronounce it Missour-ee, when people LIVING in the state call it Missour-ah? Who said that was cool? To change it like that? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: It happens with Italy, too. Italians call it ITALIA, but we gotta go in and change their own darn name. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: That ain’t cool. Seriously. The people who live in a place should get to decide what it’s called… right? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I mean… you wouldn’t go changing a person’s name like that! …So why do people insist on changing a place’s name? / / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: - Cause people are jerks? / ARTHUR: Man, that’s your stock answer for everything.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060625.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 26 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Flaco had hit the big time: running a hit tv show, owning four Lexuses ,* hanging out with Jessica Simpson... / Jessica Simpson: ...Dontcha jus' LOVE breathing? I could breathe all gosh-darn day! / NARRATOR: * Lexi? / / [[Studio]] / NARRATOR: But he knew he was truly famous when he landed an in-depth, one hour interview with Charlie Rose / Charlie Rose: So! Tell me a bit about the show! / / [[Studio]] / / [[Studio]] / NARRATOR: It was gonna be a long hour / Charlie Rose: Um...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060626.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 27 / 2006 [[Inside (non-specific)]] / NARRATOR: Suddenly, the ratings for Flaco's show "CSI: Cleveland nights" started to nosedive / / [[Hollywood Studio]] / sign: SET CLOSED - go home / NARRATOR: Despite the A-list celebrities, and despite being part of the "CSI" franchise, it turns out no one wants to watch a show about Cleveland / / NARRATOR: ...Not even folks IN Cleveland / Woman (Old): HEY! We had the first indoor shopping mall, in 1890! / Man (Generic): YEAH! So... burn on you! ...I think.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060627.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 28 / 2006 [[office]] / sign: Agent / NARRATOR: Flaco's fall came swiftly. His tv career was in shambles. / Agent: Flaco! Sugar-lamb! We can still get you work on the "Lifetime" network. You like stories about infidelity ...and knitting? / / [[Restaurant]] / NARRATOR: He was persona-non-grata around town. Not even the waiters gave him their screenplays anymore. / Waiter: HaRUMF. / / [[Studio]] / NARRATOR: But he knew he had truly hit rock-bottom when he appeared on "Last Call with Carson Daly" / Carson Daly: Welcome to the show! / FLACO: WAAAH!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060628.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 29 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Hollywood isn't kind to folks like Flaco. Folks who USED to be famous / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Once welcomed at every trendy restaurant, they're reduced to begging on the streets... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / [[Street]] / sign: Brother, can you spare a low-sodium, carb-free chicken wrap? GOD BLESS! / NARRATOR: Begging... LA-style. / Hippy: Hey! I have some "Atkins" hummus... will that help?!?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060629.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 30 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Poor little Flaco. He had all that Hollywood fame and glory... and now it's all gone. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: He was king of the world. But he returns to us exactly as he left us. / The same humble kid we knew and loved. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: ...Except for the $65,000 Rolex. / ARTHUR: True. True. Pretty fly.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060630.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 01 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / ARTHUR: Five bucks if you make it...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060701.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 02 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Apparently, koalas have incredibly small brains. They have a big cranium, but a tiny little brain inside. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Some people think it's an evolutionary response to their lifestyle. Could it be that sitting around all day, without predators or stress, and munching on an endless supply of eucalyptus leaves, has left them fat and happy... but with tiny little brains? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Go on. I'm waiting for the snide comment. / ARTHUR: No, no! You go ahead and polish off those choco-fudgies.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060702.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 03 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: 5 seconds / (SOUND FX): Fsss / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: 15 seconds / (SOUND FX): Fsss / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: 25 seconds... / (SOUND FX): Fsss / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Sparklers: only guaranteed to excite you for 30 seconds, tops / SHELDON: So..... um.... you wanna hold it? / (SOUND FX): Fsss / ARTHUR: I'm good.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060703.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 04 / 2006 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Fireworks make a happy child... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: And drive all dogs completely WILD. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: But were we to put down our drinks... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: We might yet know what canines think / Dog: Lord Woofums! Have the prophecies come to pass?? Is it the end of the world? / Dog 2: It is, youngling. Prepare our ships.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060704.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 05 / 2006 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Barbecue tip of the day / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: If you were hoping to actually cook on charcoal / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Be sure to light to grill, like, forty days in advance / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Because lighting it with your anger doesn't work / ARTHUR: Hey... um... it's almost dusk, champ. Should we just call for a pizza? / GRAMP: AAAAAAA
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060705.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 06 / 2006 [[Inside (non-specific)]] / GRAMP: Hey - look at that! He's climbing right up a wall. / / ARTHUR: Yeah. Sheldon says it's the "van der Waals" effect with his feet. Pretty cool skill to have. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: And check this out... leap, Flaco! LEAP! / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / ARTHUR: Yep. The kid is amazing. / GRAMP: ...The KID smells like old kitchen sponge
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060706.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 07 / 2006 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: They gather all the hay from the stable floor... with the horse droppings 'n everything. ...And they let it bake in a huge pile under the sun. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: After a few days, bacteria breaks it down to a stinky mush. That's when they bring it inside, and rake it into thin little layers. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And there, in pitch blackness, portabello mushrooms grow and grow until they're ready for your grilled sandwich there. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Man. I did NOT need to know that. / ARTHUR: The CIR-CLE of life...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060707.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 08 / 2006 NARRATOR: ENJOY ESPRESSO IN 3 EASY STEPS... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: 1.) Pack your espresso grounds TIGHTLY ...and brew. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: 2.) Add sugar... a thin slice of lemon rind... and drink! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: 3.) Then, proceed to sweat nervously for 63 hours / ARTHUR: Holy hellfire!! - WHAT STINKS IN HERE? / GRAMP: 62 hours to go...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/060708.html
 

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