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| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 12 / 2006 | [[The House]] / (SOUND FX): Ding Dong / ARTHUR: Ooo, awesome! Pizza's here. / GRAMP: Hey, how much do I tip the guy? / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: 10%...right? / GRAMP: I don't know...on Oprah they were saying it's 20% now. / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: Oprah? Since when do you watch Oprah?? It's 10%. It's just some dude bringing us a pizza. / / [[The House]] / GRAMP: Look, this poor schlub has to get in his car, drive over here, avoid scary dogs, and deliver our pizza. I say 20%. / ARTHUR: That ain't rocket science. You could train a cat to do that. 10%. / / [[The House]] / GRAMP: But I feel bad for the guy. 20%. / ARTHUR: Don't be a chump. Just give him - / (SOUND FX): Ding Dong / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: We're gonna need a minute. / Pizza Delivery Person: You have UNBELIEVABLY thin walls. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061112.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 13 / 2006 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Hey - the "McRib" is back! ...And apparently it's better than ever. / ARTHUR: ...Is it still made of shredded, pulverized beef... heat-molded into a shape that only a triple-crown moron would classify as "rib"? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: You should go into marketing. / ARTHUR: ...Or does the new version somehow, by the slimmest of margins, resemble "food"? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061113.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 14 / 2006 | [[The House]] / ARTHUR: How 'bout you drive me down to IHOP... help me get my pancake on? / GRAMP: How 'bout you fly yourself down there? / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: How 'bout I need you to drive 'cause flying is tough work. / GRAMP: How 'bout that's a huge lie. How 'bout I've seen you fly across town without moving a muscle. You stick your wings out and go. / / [[The House]] / ARTHUR: How 'bout I prove you wrong by sticking my wings out and AW DANGIT I'M AIRBORNE. / GRAMP: (smiling) How 'bout we have a DUMB-OFF: You vs. my chair. Go! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061114.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 15 / 2006 | [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Saddle up, Flaco. We ride fer adventure! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: That there dusty trail is calling our name. It done leadin' us to fame 'n fortune. And what not. / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Will yew join me, compadre? Will yew answer the call? / FLACO: Squeee! / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Sweet. But first we're gonna stop at IHOP. That cool? / FLACO: Squee http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061115.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 16 / 2006 | [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It just don't make no sense. Only PLUTO is a dog? / FLACO: Squee. / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...so what in tarnation is GOOFY? ...A horse? / FLACO: Squee. / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Well that don't figger. Why in heck do the horse talk, and the dog don't?? / FLACO: Squee! Squee, Squee, Squee. / / [[Outside (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Yeah! Exactly! If one animal talks, they all gotta talk. You gotta keep it consistent. / FLACO: Squee. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061116.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 17 / 2006 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: To be a true cowboy, you gotta hate injustice. ...HATE IT. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You gotta hate it like a man hates "Desperate Housewives". / FLACO: Squee! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You what? WHAT? ...How many episodes? / FLACO: Squee. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...And you'll sit on that rock 'til you realize what you done wrong. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061117.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 18 / 2006 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Li'l pardner, I'm sorry I made fun of you for watchin' "Desperate Housewives". I don't mean no harm. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: In fact, can I let you in on a little secret? ...I watch that show, too. / FLACO: Squee? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: HA! Lord no! I was just bustin' yer chops again. ...That show has the redeeming value of one skeeball ticket. It's it's like flossing your teeth... WITH STUPIDITY. I can keep going... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061118.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 19 / 2006 | [[Yard]] / ARTHUR: You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run. / / [[Yard]] / ARTHUR: You never count yer money when yer sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done. / / [[Yard]] / ARTHUR: A very cool cowboy once sang that song. / / [[Yard]] / / [[Yard]] / ARTHUR: 'Course, now that cowboy owns a chain of reasonably priced roasted-chicken stores. / / [[Yard]] / / [[Yard]] / ARTHUR: There's a lesson there. We all have the potential to become tremendously huge doofuses as we age. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061119.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 20 / 2006 | ARTHUR: Cuban salsa music is amazing. You can't NOT dance to it. / GRAMP: Lemme listen. / / / GRAMP: Wow! Yes! That IS quite nice. / ARTHUR: Thank you, "Whitey McWhiter-ton." http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061120.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 21 / 2006 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Any of the cousins coming for Thanksgiving? / GRAMP: Nope, it's just you and me. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: ...And your duck, I suppose. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: ...And the dog. ...And the lizard. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: ...And I'm sure an orangutan, five turtles and a Jack Russell terrier. / ARTHUR: I disinvited the orangutan. ...That dude still owes me, like, six grand. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061121.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 22 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Sheldon, will you say grace before we eat? / ARTHUR: Oh. I told Flaco he could do it. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: What? No... the lizard is not saying grace. / ARTHUR: Look, he's my SON, and I'm trying to teach him to be thankful for the blessings in this life. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: UGH. FINE. ...He can say grace. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / FLACO: Squee, squee. Squee-squee-squee... / GRAMP: This is unbelievably ridiculous. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061122.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 23 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Intriguing! And what is this item of interest? / SHELDON: ... It's apple pie / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Fascinating! And what is this "pie" you speak so highly of? / SHELDON: You know what pie is. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Mayhaps a form of baked good? A sugared confectionary? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: I'm not giving you more bites of my pie. / ARTHUR: ...It's delicious, you say? One wonders how much. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061123.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 24 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE (living room)]] / GRAMP: Look at you. You have such a goofy little face. Yet... such oddly wise eyes. / / [[THE HOUSE (living room)]] / GRAMP: What is going through that brain of yours? What deep thoughts captivate your life, little wise one? / / [[THE HOUSE (living room)]] / GRAMP: I bet I'd be surprised by the pearls of wisdom in your heart. / OSO: Today, I have pooped in literally every room in the house. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061124.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 25 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / ARTHUR: Unpacking the Christmas decorations? / GRAMP: Um... yeah.
/ / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / ARTHUR: What's wrong?
/ / GRAMP: I just found this packed up with last year's stuff. / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / ARTHUR: Let us never speak of this moment again. / GRAMP: I'm assuming it was some form of sandwich. ...or perhaps a squid? ...with pants on? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061125.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 26 / 2006 | [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Hey - your company's anniversary is coming up. How do you want to celebrate? / SHELDON: Anniversary? / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Yeah. For your company. / SHELDON: Company? / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: ...SHELDONSOFT. / SHELDON: Sheldonsoft?? / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: When was the last time you even CALLED IN to your office?? / SHELDON: Go-ing to my hap-py place... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061126.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 27 / 2006 | [[Non-Specific (White background)]] / ARTHUR: Hey! Are these your plans for the Sheldonsoft party? / SHELDON: Yeah. / / [[Non-Specific (White background)]] / ARTHUR: Um... all you've written is "pinata" next to a doodle. / SHELDON: Well, yeah... everyone enjoys a pinata. / / [[Non-Specific (White background)]] / ARTHUR: How are 5000 people gonna "enjoy" a pinata? / SHELDON: 'Cause! I'm... um... gonna get TWO. / / [[Non-Specific (White background)]] / SHELDON: ...And the second one is filled with iPods. / ARTHUR: Is THAT what those are? MAN! Your doodles are, like, WWII Navajo code. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061127.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 28 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I put out an ad for party planners, like you asked. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: But I think the party is too big. Even the pros aren't nibbling. I'm only getting resumes from the desperately unemployed. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: A-haaaa. Well that explains why David Hasselhoff has been on the lawn all day. / David Hasselhoff: I... I CAN BE A CLOWN! OR WHATEVER! C'mon man! The bill collectors have me by the chest hair! The wispy, wispy chest hair! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061128.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 29 / 2006 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Master Control Program: Ooo...I'd love to, but Tron's doing a slam poetry contest. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Oompa Loompa: Sorry Sheldon, we can't do it. We're workin' on the Wonka-vator. / Oompa Loompa 2: You mean the Constantly-broke-a-vator! WHY can't we just get a Honda? / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Power Ranger: The Power Rangers can't do it. Tuesday night is Yahtzee night. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Chuck Norris: Sorry. Chuck Norris doesn't do parties.
/ Also, Chuck Norris doesn't need a phone to call people. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / SHELDON: Dang it! I can't get anyone to help with this party. / ARTHUR: ...Try calling a NORMAL person. / SHELDON: Yeah... yeah...I'll call Zod. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061129.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from November / 30 / 2006 | SHELDON: C'mon, Zod! You gotta help me out. / Zod: NO. This in no way helps me conquer Planet Hu-ston. / / SHELDON: So what? You haven't done a thing lately to conquer earth. Do you even have a plan you're working on? / / [[Stall]] / sign: HOT DOG on a STICK! / Zod: Hey! I've got tons of plans, all right?!? Tons of AWESOME plans! Awesomeness squared! / Non (General Zod's minion): I have trubble. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061130.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 01 / 2006 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Zod: We shall plan a party that shall bring the world to it's knees! / SHELDON: No no no ... I want people to have fun. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Zod: Ohh ... I see. We distract our opponents with this "fun," and then crush them! / SHELDON: No! They just have fun! That's it! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Zod: AHA! Yes! We overload them with excitement 'til their hearts stop. / SHELDON: No, Zod! It's a party! I want people to do NORMAL PARTY THINGS. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Zod: OH HO! A different kind of suffering! They shall mill around the room, cocktail in hand, making small talk with strangers about Oprah's episode on healthy bowel movements! / SHELDON: Um ..... you're getting..... closer...? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061201.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 02 / 2006 | [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Zod: What if the party had a game of "pin the tail on the Son of Jor-El"? The kids love that. / SHELDON: NO. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Zod: Ok... how about a LIMBO version of "Kneel before Zod"? / SHELDON: NO. / / [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Zod: Ok.. how about something simple, like... piņatas? / SHELDON: I'm a big "yes" on that one, but Arthur says it's too "Lord of the Flies." / ARTHUR: 'Cause it involves hitting an object! With a stick! Until it breaks! ...Throw in a case of "Pabst", and you've got Wednesday night at the frat house. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061202.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 03 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: That's a lie. / ARTHUR: Its not a lie. M&M's are colored in lots of different hues so you'll eat more. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: The mind craves VARIETY. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: A university study even found that people given 10 M&M colors ate 43% more than those given 7 colors. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: You made that up. That study isn't real. / ARTHUR: Dude, YOU'RE part of the study. RIGHT NOW. / Grad Student: Professor? I can't watch anymore. His intake is making me ill. / Professor: Grad students: listen up! SCIENTISTS do not get grossed out when presented with fat guys eating in their undies! ...They just ask for more funding. / Grad Student 2: Ewwwy. He's eating the blue one that fell in his belly-button earlier. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061203.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 04 / 2006 | [[Sheldonsoft]] / NARRATOR: 'Twas the night of the party, and all through the house, the whole crowd was stirring, even a drunk mouse. / ARTHUR: ...Whoa! Mickey! Ease up on the fuzzy navels, champ. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / NARRATOR: The streamers were hung 'round the party with care (but some had wound up in Kim Jong Il's hair.) / Kim Jong Il: Great party, Sheldon. / SHELDON: Please check in nukes at the coat room / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / NARRATOR: And there, at the entryway into the place stood General Zod with a stern, angry face. / Zod: Kneel! Kneel before Zod! / SHELDON: Oh man. We have GOT to get him away from the door. / ARTHUR: I've already hired Jebediah, here. He's a 108-year old Walmart greeter. / Man (Old): Welcome ta Walmart! Y'all spend money now... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061204.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 05 / 2006 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Have you ever had a "public-private moment"? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: It's when you're out in the public... but there's no one around. So you do something intensely private. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Like scratch your toosh with the vigor of a pneumatic drill. / (SOUND FX): scritch scritch scritch / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: ...Only to realize that there's someone standing right behind you. / woman (generic) 1: ...What a lovely moment we've shared. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061205.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 06 / 2006 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: 2000 years ago, the Greeks had a "computer" that accurately predicted the location of the sun, moon, and planets. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: The "Antikythera Mechanism" had 37 complex gears, and used addition, subtraction, and multiplication to compute astronomical movements. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: More amazingly... after the "computer" was lost at sea in 85 A.D., civilization didn't regain its level of sophistication until 14th-century clock making. / ARTHUR: WOW. How did civilization blow it so badly? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Greek: Apparently, it's called "wine". / Greek 2: Intriguing! Let's try a sip, shall we? Perhaps for the next 1400 years? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061206.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 07 / 2006 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: I don't believe you. / ARTHUR: Then TRY IT. Lift your right foot up, and move it in a clockwise circle / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Now, while doing that, write a number six with your right hand. / SHELDON: Ok... I'm writing a - WOAH! My foot changed to counter-clockwise! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: I... can't... get... my foot... to cooperate! You were right! / ARTHUR: The human brain: proudly messing up simple tasks for 140,000 years. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061207.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 08 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Whoa Whoa WHOA!
/ You cut the base at an angle... / GRAMP: Uh-oh. I better re-cut it. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Now it's too close to the branches.
/ You'll need to lop some off. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Whoa! Not that many! / GRAMP: Shoot! ... I'll take some more off the base. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Fifteen steps later. / ARTHUR: You're a living Three Stooges sketch. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061208.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 09 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: True tales from owning a pug: Christmas edition / (SOUND FX): Snif / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): SNIF Snif snif / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Snif snif snif snif snif / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Snif snif snif snif snif / NARRATOR: I kid you not: six hours of this http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061209.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 10 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE]] / Television: "Where's that money, you silly stupid old fool? Where's that money, Uncle Billy?" / ARTHUR: This is the part of "It's a Wonderful Life" I hate. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Every year, we watch George Bailey sacrifice for his brother, his parents, his customers, and his savings & loan. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And every year, old "Glug-glug-glug" Uncle Billy misplaces thousands in cash. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And I can't stand it! I can't watch George be ruined by Uncle Billy again. / GRAMP: Well I'M trying to watch, so please hush. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Television: Look Daddy! Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. / ARTHUR: ...And Uncle Billy takes a drink. / GRAMP: ALL RIGHT. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061210.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from December / 11 / 2006 | [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] / [[Bed]] / / [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] / [[Bed]] / / [[THE HOUSE (Bedroom)]] / [[Bed]] / / [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / [[Bed]] / ARTHUR: They should call it "It's A Wonderful Life... Provided Uncle Billy Doesn't Get Involved." / SHELDON: You gotta let it go, man. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/061211.html |
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