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Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 11 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Apple is already being sued over the name "iphone". WHY? Because Cisco has owned that name since 2000. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Which may leave you asking: "How could Apple launch such a brilliant, ground-breaking product... and yet totally blow it when it came to securing a name?" / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Arrow: Second knuckle / SHELDON: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce Barry, Apple's head trademark attorney. / Attorney: "Iphone" is all clear, boss! ...As is "Chevrolet" and "Lipton ice tea"...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070111.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 12 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: David Beckham. / ARTHUR: Yeah - how about that?? He's movin' to Los Angeles to play soccer. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I don't get it. ...You're the biggest star in the most-loved game in the world... and you come to the one country ...and the one CITY.... that doesn't give a whale's weiner who you are. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: ...But the 250 million bucks helps to soften the blow, I imagine. / ARTHUR: Oo! And maybe he could pay Americans to pretend they like soccer. / SHELDON: UM... a "whale's weiner"?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070112.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 13 / 2007 [[Kazakhstan]] / Kazakh man: You are Mister Squee? The Amerikan who needs ride to Baikonur space port? / FLACO: Squee. / / [[Kazakhstan]] / Kazakh man: Is no good. Is too much of snow for my taxi to drive. We wait, yes? Drive in few days? / FLACO: SQUEE! / (SOUND FX): BANG! / / [[Kazakhstan]] / Kazakh man: NO Mister Squee! Is too cold to walk! / / [[Kazakhstan]] / / [[Kazakhstan]] / Kazakh man: Mister Squee... he is bravest man I ever met. / Kazakh woman: He is very short, no? Oprah always saying Amerikan nutrition is terrible.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070113.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 14 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Ever notice how much the Japanese love robots? Like, WAY more than other cultures? / SHELDON: It makes sense, if you think about it. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Japan’s Shinto religion allows for natural AND man-made objects to have a spirit. So, where westerners might see a robot as “unnatural,” the Japanese see them almost as living things. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Plus, the Japanese have a huge fear of body odors, liquids and smells. So a robot that doesn’t sneeze, sweat or burp is almost the ideal human. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: And in a culture with so many rules on politeness, it’s probably comforting to have a robot that follows perfect protocol… But which won’t judge YOU if you slip up. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: And of course there’s the popular cartoon-robot “Astro Boy,” which / ARTHUR: ALRIGHT ALREADY! SHEESH! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: If I wanted a long, rambling answer that didn’t really make sense, I’d look it up on Wikipedia. / SHELDON: THAT IS THE MOST HURTFUL THING YOU HAVE EVER SAID.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070114.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 15 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / DANTE: ...But why is he called "Jabba the HUTT"? / SHELDON: 'Cause he is a Hutt. / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: But isn't that clear? I mean, if he IS a Hutt, why call him a Hutt? I don't call you "Sheldon the Human." / SHELDON: Well it COULD be that he's NOT a Hutt... but was adopted by Hutts... And so he feels he needs to clarify his upbringing. / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: But then, wouldn't his adoptive Hutt parents raise him to be proud of his background... and not try to be something he's not? / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: MAYBE. But maybe to fit in, he really needed to make Hutt culture his own, so that... / ARTHUR: WILL YOU PLEASE STOP THIS??
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070115.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 16 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / DANTE: Maybe it’s his family name. / SHELDON: No, no, NO. Then he’d be “Jabba Hutt” rather than “Jabba the Hutt.” It’s his species name! / / [[THE POND]] / DANTE: There’s only one way to solve this! …To the internet! / SHELDON: …To the internet! We must seek the wisdom of huger nerds! / / [[THE POND]] / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. …And in the land of the geeks, the dude with the lamest social life rules. / (SOUND FX): click / SHELDON: Here we go!!! “Ernie Dinkle’s Encyclopedia Jabba-Huttica: with 46,372 categorized Jabba facts”
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070116.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 17 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: HOME IMPROVEMENT MADE EASY™ Step 1: Watch a marathon of home improvement shows / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Step 2: Get inspired to FINALLY fix that cracked tile in the bathroom / GRAMP: IT BEGINS! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Step 3: Realize it's far more satisfying to watch another doofus mess up HIS bathroom than for you to mess up yours. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Step 4: Eat a third brownie. Turn up volume slightly.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070117.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 18 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: True tales from owning a pug..... #17 / (SOUND FX): Frt. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Frrrrrrrrrrr / / [[THE HOUSE]] / (SOUND FX): Rrrrrt. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: The terrible, terrible moment you learn that your pug is lactose intolerant / ARTHUR: If you need me, I'll be staying at a local hotel. / GRAMP: My... my nose! The burning!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070118.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 19 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: So the year is 1702. You've set sail from your English home in Jersey, and you arrive in America to settle. / GRAMP: Ok / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Naturally, you and your fellow settlers decide to call this place NEW Jersey. It's clever, and it says "Hey! We're from Jersey! But we're totally startin' fresh!" / GRAMP: Ok / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Okay, so flash forward to 1762, and you've been living there for SIXTY YEARS. / GRAMP: Ok / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ...At what point does the "new" in "New Jersey" start sounding REALLY lame? / GRAMP: At that point, I think you're more bummed that you've lived in New Jersey for sixty years. / ...Right?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070119.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 20 / 2007 [[Kazakhstan]] / Arrow: Baikonur 1km / / [[Kazakhstan]] / FLACO: ! / / [[Kazakhstan]] / / [[Kazakhstan]] / / [[Kazakhstan]] / / [[Kazakhstan]] / / [[Kazakhstan]] / / [[Kazakhstan]] / / [[Kazakhstan]]
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070120.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 21 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Day 1 / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Day 2 / GRAMP: ! / / [[Gym]] / NARRATOR: Day 3 / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: OW OW OW / NARRATOR: Day 4 / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: OW OW / NARRATOR: Day 5 / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: OW / NARRATOR: Day 6 / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Day 7 / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Day 8
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070121.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 22 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Pop quiz! "What percentage of our brain do we ACTUALLY use?" / GRAMP: 10% / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Nope! It's 100%. That whole 10% thing is a myth. / GRAMP: Really? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So... the fact that I continue to think that it's only 10%...? / ARTHUR: ...Means you're probably only using 10%.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070122.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 23 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: The Borg are a hive mind, right? ...And each drone just gets assigned a number? ...There's no individuality or personality, right? / SHELDON: Right. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: So, did the show's writers goof when Captain Picard got the name "Locutus of Borg"? 'Cause that's totally un-Borg-like, right? / SHELDON: No... um.... 'cause..... the Borg were trying to... UM... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: It's... YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT ALL WRONG. It's... uh... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: "Hi, how are you? I'm Larry, of Borg. And this is my wife Suzette, also of Borg." / SHELDON: STOP IT. I'm thinking...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070123.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 24 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Create a new account. / SHELDON: Dude, this is already your fifth one. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: I don't care. It's not looking right. I need to start fresh with a new account. / SHELDON: I can change THIS MySpace account to say whatever you want. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: No, man... NO. It's got to be all new, from the username on down. Start over. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: It's because of people like you that MySpace has 600 million accounts. ...There's actually only 26 people on MySpace. / ARTHUR: ...And look! What's with the lame drop-down choices? I'M A 3-YEAR OLD DUCK LOOKING FOR SOME SERIOUS NETWORKING WITH SHAKIRA. ...Where's THAT choice?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070124.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 25 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: MySpace won't let you put down "3" as your age. / ARTHUR: But 3 IS my age! That's adulthood for a duck! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: I should be able to use MYSPACE, get a DRIVER'S LICENSE, or order myself a HEFEWEIZEN! / SHELDON: ...What's a Hefeweizen? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: You'll just have to wait until you're 3 to find out, Mister Non-Adulthood. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...And who in their right mind would give you a driver's license? / ARTHUR: The state of Montana. I checked. Everybody gets one with their birth certificate and free 1,000 acres of empty land.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070125.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 26 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: I can not make a MySpace page... / ...because I'm 3, I'm young-of-age / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: And MySpace will not hesitate ... to block out kids whose age don't rate / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: They try, it seems, to look real tough... / ...to say they're doing quite enough. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: But my solution will work fine ... I'll just put down I'm 99. / SHELDON: Truly, these rigorous safeguards are insurmountable.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070126.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 27 / 2007 [[Kazakhstan]] / Bear: GRRRR / / [[Kazakhstan]] / (SOUND FX): Thwip! BAP BAP / / [[Kazakhstan]] / Bear: ROOWRR... / / [[Kazakhstan]] / Bear: BAROOO / / [[Kazakhstan]] / / [[Kazakhstan]] / sign: Welcome to the SOVIET (crossed out), Russian (crossed out), Kazakh! space port / sign: LAUNCH TODAY! Fundraising bakesale to follow
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070127.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 28 / 2007 [[Boardroom]] / NARRATOR: Place: a corporate boardroom - Time: a few years back. / J. B.: Gentlemen, our new company needs a knock-your-socks-off kind of name. / / [[Boardroom]] / J. B.: I mean, sure, we'll mostly sell linens... but we can't just SAY that. / / [[Boardroom]] / J. B.: We need a name that says "We sell linens... and ALL SORTS OF OTHER THINGS." / / [[Boardroom]] / J. B.: Wait! ...That's it! By God, that's it! We'll call ourselves LINENS 'N' THINGS! / Employee: Oo, good one, sir! / Employee 2: Nailed it again, J. B. / Employee 3: Hey-o! / / [[Boardroom]] / Employee 4: ...But ...sir? That's a really, really lame name, sir. / J. B.: We can't all be cool in life, Jimmy. Some of us have to be Subaru drivers.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070128.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 29 / 2007 [[Bedroom]] / [[Bed]] / ARTHUR: As the new mornin' dawns, it's time to turn your smiiiiile on... / / [[Bathroom]] / [[Shower]] / ARTHUR: And to make your day grand, you just need a helpin' haaaand... / / [[Kitchen (near Counter)]] / ARTHUR: So you reach for a brew that'll help your soul shine throoough / / [[Kitchen]] / [[Table]] / ARTHUR: THE BEST PART OF WAKIN' UP IS FOLGERS IN YOUR CUP! / GRAMP: ..must you do this EVERY morning??
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070129.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 30 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / NARRATOR: HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE ADDICTED TO COFFEE: A simple 4-part test 1: Set your coffee down, and walk into another room. / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / NARRATOR: 2: Close your eyes. Clear your mind of all coffee-related thoughts. / / [[Darkness]] / NARRATOR: 3: From a place of stillness, take slow, deep breaths...and imagine a life without coffee. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: 4: Slowly open your eyes. Have you punched holes in three-fourths of the surrounding drywall? You may be addicted to coffee. / GRAMP: I'm fine. I can quit any time!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070130.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from January / 31 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: TODAY: SPOTTING SIGNS OF COFFEE ADDICTION / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: #1: You're increasingly willing to drink coffee any time. / GRAMP: ...You up for an espresso? / ARTHUR: Not at 2 AM. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: #2: You really only notice when you're NOT sweating / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: #3: Your caffeine headaches reach wonderful new summits / GRAMP: MUST YOU FLAP SO LOUDLY?? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: #4: You find yourself wishing for a coffee... WHILE DRINKING A COFFEE. / GRAMP: A latte sure would go great with this latte.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070131.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 01 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: On a scale of one to ten, ten being macho... ...how macho am I if I've been singing the "Dream Girls" theme song all day? / SHELDON: Not that macho / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Really? Dang. DANG! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...Dang! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: We are dreeemgirls, boys! ...We'll make you haaaaapy...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070201.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 02 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Let’s talk about my tombstone for a minute. / GRAMP: Oh Lord… Here it comes. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: It should say “He had all the awesomeness we expected, and a little awesomeness we didn’t even think was possible” / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: “AND THE RUMP ON THAT BOY! FA-CHAA! ...And put “fa-chaa” in, like, a bold Helvetica.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070202.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 03 / 2007 [[Baikonur Spaceport]] / NARRATOR: The Soyuz Rocket is an impressive testament to Russian engineering. / / [[Baikonur Spaceport]] / NARRATOR: With 1700 launches behind it, it is the safest human spaceflight system ever built. / / [[Baikonur Spaceport]] / NARRATOR: It features an "Energomash" RD107 engine with four main chambers and two gimbaled vernier thrusters. / / [[Baikonur Spaceport]] / NARRATOR: Which enable it to carry 3 astronauts per flight. / / [[Baikonur Spaceport]] / NARRATOR: ...And one stow-away lizard, if he hustles up. / FLACO: SQUEEEEEEE
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070203.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 04 / 2007 [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / GRAMP: Dang it. I forgot to pay the electric bill last month. / ARTHUR: You should sign up for that auto-bill-pay thing. / / [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / GRAMP: The thing where they automatically take money from your account? No thank you, MISTER GEORGE ORWELL. / / [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / GRAMP: Think about it! They have access to your bank account! / ARTHUR: ...Just to pay bills. / / [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / GRAMP: Sure, that's where it STARTS. But they wait a few months, 'till you're no longer paying attention, and then their computers start taking an extra few hundred bucks... and when you go to complain, BAM! You're locked out of your account, and your cash has been moved to a Bulgarian bank. / / [[nonspecific (colored background)]] / ARTHUR: You have the most awesome old-man paranoias sometimes. / GRAMP: And don't order sodas in restaurants! That's where they make all their money...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070204.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 05 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: POP QUIZ! Who would be the WORSE actor in a head-to-head contest: the kid who played young Anakin Skywalker...or a Connecticut red brick? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Things to consider: a brick does not understand the English language, is not able to move, and may never develop the ability to emote. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: ...take your time...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070205.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 06 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Will no one save our small frontier town from these bandits?? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I will, ma'am! For I am the famous gunslinger, REX CHESTINGTON! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Rex Chestington? I do declare! You're about the handsomest cowboy I EVER done seen. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Thank you, Ma'am. It's on account of me being able to bench press 300 pounds 'n all... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And Rex! You've brought me a McFlurry! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I did indeed, Ma'am. I had a coupon for 30 cents off with a purchase of fries... / GRAMP: GAAAAH! MAKE YOUR COWBOY STORIES MAKE SENSE!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070206.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 07 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: You did it, Rex! You done saved our town! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: I didn't do it alone, Ma'am. I had help from my amigos "Colt" and "45", here. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Oh Rex! Yer so ruggedly handsome 'n tall 'n smell nice! Do ya think you could EVER fall for a country girl like mah-self?? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Done and DONE, Ma'am. Yer pretty as a biscuit that's beeen dipped in pretty sauce. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Oh Rex! Kiss may! Kiss may now! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Mmm mmm mmm mmmm / (SOUND FX): smooch
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070207.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 08 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: The BEST part of being a cowboy, you ask? / SHELDON: I didn't ask. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It's all the hours in the saddle... ...Gives you time for thinkin' and such. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: The WORST part of being a cowboy, you ask? / SHELDON: Still didn't ask. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It's all the hours in the saddle... ...makes the nethers itchier than an elephant with a peanut allergy. / SHELDON: I SAID I DIDN'T ASK.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070208.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 09 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: The Winchester rifle was called "the gun that won the West", cause everybody owned one. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: But did you know that the 1891 heiress to the Winchester fortune believed she was haunted by every person ever killed by that gun? / SHELDON: Really? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: Sheesh! ...You know what would've been an absolute bummer? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: That? / SHELDON: THAT.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070209.html
 

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