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Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 10 / 2007 [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / Cosmonaut Yuri: < Comrade Steve! You must come see the view! > / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / Cosmonaut Yuri: < It is so beautiful! > / Astronaut Steve: Don't you wish we could share this view with others? / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]]
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070210.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 11 / 2007 [[Desert (Dune World)]] / Paul Atreides: FATHER! THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED! / / [[Desert (Dune World)]] / Man (from the story Dune): ...Morning Coffee, Boss? / Paul Atreides: Oh - No Thanks. The sleeper has awakened. / NARRATOR: Frank Herbert's "Dune" ...Early First Draft.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070211.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 12 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: You have one eyebrow hair that's, like, TWO INCHES longer than the other ones. / GRAMP: I know... / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I pluck it whenever I see it, but it grows right back. / ARTHUR: But why does it even grow that long? It doesn't even look like an eyebrow hair!! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: BECAUSE. The human body is an amazingly complex and disgusting thing. / ARTHUR: You could pick up ham radio with that thing.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070212.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 13 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Speaking on behalf of all animals..... you humans freak us out when you mimic us. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: You see a bird fly, and BAM! ...You invent the airplane. You see a fish swim, and BAM! ...You invent the submarine. You see a cheetah race by and BAM! ...You invent the motorcycle. ...Just quit it already! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: If you HAVE to mimic something, mimic a SEA SPONGE. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Why? What does a sea sponge do? / ARTHUR: It minds its own dang business! That's what!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070213.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 14 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Every time I pour coffee out of the pot, it drips coffee ALL DOWN THE SIDE. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: The dang thing has TWO JOBS: hold coffee, and pour coffee. That's all it needs to do! ...So what brilliant design team thought THIS was acceptable? / / [[Boardroom]] / NARRATOR: Earlier... / Employee: Sir, we're proud to report we've hit 50% of this year's goals.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070214.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 15 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: The 3 shots of croquet / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: The "careful" shot / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: The "playful" shot / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: The "I hope you like visiting beautiful Bangor, Maine" shot
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070215.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 16 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Whoa there, fatticus! You're not polishing off that ENTIRE Ben and Jerry's, are you?? / GRAMP: Bawdublee. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: The Ben and Jerry's I JUST BOUGHT TODAY?? / SHELDON: Bawdublee. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: I can't even tell what you're saying... "Possibly"? / GRAMP: YEHT. ....Id id bawdible.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070216.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 17 / 2007 [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / (SOUND FX): THWIP! / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / (SOUND FX): SCHLORK / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / Astronaut Steve: That is both the coolest and the NASTIEST way to move in zero-g.... / FLACO: Squee!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070217.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 18 / 2007 [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Ok, so it's 20 years from now, and we've got a working moonbase. / SHELDON: Ok. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: But here's the problem: how do we ship all the furniture up there? / SHELDON: Easy. We call Ikea. Those guys can flatpack a bull elephant into a three-inch cube, and they'll only charge you a buck for it. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Ikea? No way. I can tell you right now what'll happen... / / [[Moonbase]] / Astronaut 1: Ooo cool.... you puttin' together our "Glürpa"? / Astronaut 2: They... they didn't include the little Allen wrench... / Astronaut 3: I am NOT flyin' back... I just took my dang shoes off. / Astronaut 4: Maybe we can put the "Häkloogie" together, instead?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070218.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 19 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: I love this balrog scene in The Lord of the Rings. / ARTHUR: What is a balrog, anyway? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: He's a big, menacing demon from an earlier time! / ARTHUR: ...And he... what? ...Just lives under a mountain now? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: What does he do all day down there? ...Does he even get basic cable channels? 'Cause if not... man! No wonder he's all pissed when the hobbits come through. ...He's like "I'm gonna attack you... cause I can't watch VH1 ...RARR! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Thank you for supplying the balrog's frame of mind. / ARTHUR: "Rarr! I wanna watch 'The View'! RARR!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070219.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 20 / 2007 NARRATOR: Today: how different people celebrate Presidents Day! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Students: / SHELDON: I celebrate ALL our presidents! / ARTHUR: ...Even Taft? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Constitutional scholars: / Man (Old): ...In addition to Presidents Day, I celebrate "Judicial-Branch- and Legislative-Branch" Day. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Average citizen: / GRAMP: Day off! / / [[Store]] / sign: SALE / sign: 20% off all water beds!!! ...Just like Washington would've wanted it... / NARRATOR: Mattress salesmen:
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070220.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 21 / 2007 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Ni hao, little grasshopper... you have returned to challenge the master, eh? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You have learned much in your journeys, I see. Your flying crane style is much improved. Impressive. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: But my dragon style is unbeatable. You have made an unwise choice!! BEGIN! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): crunch crunch crunch
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070221.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 22 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Whatcha readin'? / GRAMP: About the fall of the Roman Empire. I'm at the part where the Goths are attacking. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: The GOTHS? Like... the thin, pale, Marilyn Manson fans GOTHS? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: No, no... Germanic tribes that- / ARTHUR: THAT WOULD'VE BEEN AWESOME! Roman centurions vs. acne-scarred teens. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Yes... thank you, Captain History. / ARTHUR: I bet their battle cry was "Nobody gets me."
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070222.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 23 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Dr. Z (Dieter Zietsche, Daimler Chrysler CEO): Hello children! Still enjoying my Chrysler "Ask Dr. Z" commercials? / ARTHUR: Sure are! / SHELDON: Sure are! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: In fact, we wanted to ASK you how the Daimler-Chrysler merger was going? / ARTHUR: You said you'd be combining the best of German engineering and American ingenuity. How's that working' for ya? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...'Cause folks flying into Detroit airport have seen ACRES of unsold Dodge trucks and Chrysler minivans. Is that true? / ARTHUR: ...And what about the 13,000 employees you laid off last week? Good times, eh? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Dr. Z (Dieter Zietsche, Daimler Chrysler CEO): YOU KNOW WHAT?? *#§@!! THIS. I don't wanna play "Ask Dr. Z" anymore. / ARTHUR: Scale of one to ten... how much do you regret buying Chrysler? ...Ten being Scheiße.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070223.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 24 / 2007 [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / Astronaut Steve: Well, we've docked. Shall we start the science experiment with your lizard, Yuri? / Cosmonaut Yuri: < But Comrade Steve! He is not mine. YOU did not bring him? > / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / Astronaut Steve: NO! He must be a stowaway! / Cosmonaut Yuri: < Ha ha!! Just like on Mir! We had two cats and a badger! ...We did not speak of it. > / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]] / Cosmonaut Yuri: < We also had a - how do you say? "Wolverine". > < But not like super- fight-man Wolverine... > < This one just scratch at face > < Sigh... Soviet Space Program... she was not so goodly.> / FLACO: Squee, squee...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070224.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 25 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: For thousands of years, money has needed two things to work: a government to print it... and the full faith and force of its institutions to back it up. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: It's one of the fundamental tasks of a government: create and maintain a money system for people to make transactions. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: So the U.S. makes dollars, the Japanese make the yen, and the Europeans make the gyro... / ARTHUR: "Euro." / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: But now that everyone is buying things online, we have a whole bunch of third parties involved. Sure, it's BASED on the dollar, but now there's this overlay of Paypal and Visa and Google checkout and Amazon "Super Happy Fun Bucks" or whatever. It's FOR-PROFIT companies that are creating and enforcing these e-money systems. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: But, c'mon! If the government has a constitutional charge* to make money and stop fraud - shouldn't that extend to e-money systems as well? Am I idealistic if I say this isn't a job for for-profit companies? / NARRATOR: * Section 8 / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Idealistic, my yellow fanny. You just don't like to pay fees. / GRAMP: I HATE IT SO MUCH.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070225.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 26 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Oh man... not the towel. We've talked about this... / GRAMP: What's with the shower this morning? There's almost NO water pressure. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: It had all the force of a 90-year old man spitting on you. / ARTHUR: "...A 90-year old man spitting on you"? How did you even come up with that? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: You've clearly never played poker at the senior citizens center. / ARTHUR: But c'mon man... NO TOWELS. Seriously. Your stomach hairs grow in weird little curly-q patterns.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070226.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 27 / 2007 ARTHUR: Check out this video I put up on YouTube. / SHELDON: …It’s just you making body-builder poses. / / ARTHUR: Yeah, but CHECK IT OUT…It’s only been up one day, and it’s already been viewed FOUR TIMES. …And only three of those are me. / / ARTHUR: Which means that there’s SOMEBODY out there who was just as marvelled by— / / ARTHUR: Oh, wait… No… I watched it a fourth time at lunch. shoot.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070227.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 28 / 2007 GRAMP: . . .aaand I got us a filet of Chilean sea bass! / ARTHUR: FAKE. / / GRAMP: What? / ARTHUR: Chilean sea bass. It's a fake name. They made it up to sell it to consumers. It's not a bass . . . nor is it necessarily "Chilean". / / ARTHUR: It's real name is the "toothfish". / GRAMP: The TOOTHFISH? / / GRAMP: Lord. . . that's good marketing. / ARTHUR: "Oysters"? . . .originally called "sea boogers".
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070228.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 01 / 2007 [[office]] / sign: Skip Tripway, V.P. - Marketing / Marketing Executive: Strips like yesterday's give marketing a bad name. / / [[office]] / Marketing Executive: When in fact, marketing has given you a richer, fuller life. / / [[office]] / Marketing Executive: Without marketing, you couldn't have fallen in love with such classic swindles as the pet rock, sea monkeys, playstation 3, and every anti-aging cream ever made. / / [[office]] / SHELDON: Hey! I just bought a Playstation 3 yesterday. / Marketing Executive: Of course you did.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070301.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 02 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Ever had so much coffee that your hands get the shakes? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: This is your body’s natural defense mechanism against coffee. / GRAMP: Lordy! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: …’Cause it keeps you from drinking more coffee. / Gramp's left hand: Do it Gary! Shake like you’ve never shaked before!!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070302.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 03 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Hey, where's your son lately? I haven't seen him in a while. / ARTHUR: What? REALLY? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Yeah. It's been, GOSH, a few weeks. / ARTHUR: Oh no! My boy! / I haven't been watching out for him! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: And now he's lost in the world! And he scares so easily! He's probably hiding behind a rock somewhere... lost and alone! My poor boy! My poor, scared boy! / / [[Soyuz Capsule (in space)]]
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070303.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 04 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: TODAY! ASK DOCTOR SCIENCE! ...A free service from your local grandfather / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Dr. Science, why do bread knives have those bumpy blade edges? / GRAMP: What...? Oh... it's called a serrated blade. It makes it easier to cut bread... / ARTHUR: Z / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: Dr. Science, I just cut an English muffin in half using that knife. Do I need to wash the knife now... or can I just put it back in the drawer? / GRAMP: Did anyone see you use the knife? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: No. / GRAMP: Meh... just put it back... / ARTHUR: Z
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070304.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 05 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / Phone: Thank you for calling customer service. Please hold for the next available operator" ...Or, get immediate answers to your questions on our website! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Phone: Please continue to hold. We'll be with you in just a sec. ...Or, hey! Did we mention our website? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Phone: Your business is important to us. ...But so is mentioning our website every two seconds. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Phone: 'Cause guess what? Actually answering your call costs us $4.80. So weeee're just gonna keep you on hold 'til you give up and go to our website... Did we mention our website? ...Website?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070305.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 06 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / Phone: Please continue to hold. A customer service rep will be right with you. / Or, go to our website for an immediate answer! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Phone: We'll be right with you. Or, try our website, which is available 24/7 for all your questions! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Phone: Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold. Or, why not try our website! It has all the- / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Phone: Thank you for calling Time-Warner high-speed internet. This is Tim... how can I help you? / (SOUND FX): Click click click / GRAMP: MY INTERNET IS DOWN.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070306.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 07 / 2007 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Hey - new laptop?! / SHELDON: Yep! Runnin' Microsoft Vista, too. I dig it. But... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: But....? But what? / SHELDON: Well... I hate to say it, but Vista is kinda all the stuff my Mac had a few years ago. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / (SOUND FX): click click-click click / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: ...All wrapped up in a dorkier look. / SHELDON: Pretty much.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070307.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 08 / 2007 [[Sky]] / NARRATOR: Microsoft's Vista ad campaign... / Skydiver: Wow! / / [[Outdoors]] / Man (Generic): Wow! / / [[Outdoors]] / Girl: Wow! / / [[Inside (non-specific) (Flat white background)]] / NARRATOR: ...Is the SAME REACTION as the realization you got suckered into buying Vista... / Man (Generic): Wow.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070308.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 09 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Whoa... It's 3 AM! What are YOU doing up? / GRAMP: Can't sleep. I miss my wife. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: She used to do this thing where she'd sleep with her leg thrown over mine. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: I hated it when we first got married. But after 35 years, you come to love it, you know? And now, I can't sleep without it. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Wait- what are YOU doin' up at 3 AM?? / ARTHUR: I sleep all day on a lamp, man. This is my private Arthur-time.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070309.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 10 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / Television: ...And in lighter news, tonight NASA disclosed that a LIZARD was discovered aboard the Soyuz capsule that just returned to earth... / ARTHUR: "Lizard"...? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Television: Our cameras were there in Northern Kazakhstan as the little guy emerged. / / FLACO: Squee! / ARTHUR: Flaco? FLACO?? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: Quick! We can take my corporate jet to- / ARTHUR: No... NO TIME! We need to get there NOW! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: 53 minutes later... / ARTHUR: This was a bad choice.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070310.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 11 / 2007 [[THE HOUSE]] / [[Late at Night]] / ARTHUR: I almost never hear you talk about your wife. / GRAMP: Yeah. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: It’s tough, you know? …For a guy? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: To… You know… / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: COMMUNICATING. / ARTHUR: yeah.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070311.html
 

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