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| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 09 / 2007 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / William Shakespeare: What's the matter, Tim? / Man (Old): It's me apples, Master Shakespeare. After carefully growing 'em all year - they is rottin' on me cart ... UNSOLD. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (Old): It's probably much ado about nothing, but this comedy of errors is like me love's labours lost. ...Aye, Master Shakespeare. It's like me love's labours is all lost. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / William Shakespeare: Saaaaaaay, Tim...? You don't happen to go to the theatre much, do you? / Man (Old): Never been in me life, sir. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / (SOUND FX): scritch scritch scritch http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070809.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 10 / 2007 | [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: There are six surviving scraps of Shakespeare's handwriting. ...And in each one, he spelled his name differently. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Slap my mouth. / SHELDON: I kid you not. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: MAN! Even in a pre-dictionary age, that's just stone-cold embarrassing. / SHELDON: I wonder if it was a sore subject for him. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (Generic): Um... Mr. Shakespeare? It looks like you spelled your name wro- / Shakespeare: HEY! BACK OFF! I WROTE HAMLET! ...How is it spelled? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070810.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 11 / 2007 | [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: This is the only duck pond around, so all you gotta do is spot your folks in the crowd. / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: It's like "March of the Penguins"... Only we're not freezin' our canned hams off! ...CAN I GET AN AMEN? / FLACO: "Squee-squee". / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: But seriously... All you gotta do is spot your folks in a crowd. Can you do that? Can you spot your folks in a - / / [[Duck pond]] http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070811.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 12 / 2007 | NARRATOR: SHAKESPEARE starring in... "If at first you don't succeed..." / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / William Shakespeare: Hi! / Woman (Generic): Hey! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / William Shakespeare: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / William Shakespeare: Thou art more lovely and more temperate: rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and summer’s lease hath all too short a date: sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, and often is His gold complexion dimm’d… / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / William Shakespeare: And every fair from fair sometime declines, by chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimm’d; but THY eternal summer shall not fade, nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; nor shall Death bray thou wander’st in his shade, when in eternal lines to time thou growest; so long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / William Shakespeare: “You are, like, WAY hot.” / Woman (Generic): Ohhhhhhh http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070812.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 14 / 2007 | ARTHUR: Lizards are descended from dinosaurs, right? / FLACO: squee... / / ARTHUR: And didn't they figger out that BIRDS are descended from dinosaurs, too? / FLACO: squee... / / / ARTHUR: Dude, don’t you get it? We ARE family… Brothers-from-another-prehistoric-mother! / FLACO: squee! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070814.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 15 / 2007 | ARTHUR: Dude! Let’s play dinosaurs! I’ll be the fearsome T-Rex, and you can be the mighty Brontosaurus. / FLACO: Squee squee squee squee squee / / ARTHUR: Whaddya mean “scientists changed the name”? …It’s not called ‘Brontosaurus’ anymore?? / / ARTHUR: Then how will Fred Flintstone get his ‘Brontosaurus Burgers’ now? That is weak sauce. WEAK SAUCE. / / ARTHUR: Man… Science is messin’ with my fictions. / FLACO: squee. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070815.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 16 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You're kidding me?! The new name for "Brontosaurus" is "Apatosaurus"? What kind of lame name is THAT?
/ / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It doesn't even sound like a dinosaur! It sounds like ... like .... some weird Pokémon character.
/ / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Apatosaurus! I CHOOSE YOU to fight Squirtle and Charmander! Go, Apatosaurus, GO! Gotta catch 'em all! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070816.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 17 / 2007 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Wanna see some rad dinosaur impersonations? Check it! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ... Apatosaurus! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ... Velociraptor! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: ..And together, we form... the mighty t-rex!
/ / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Hmmm. / ARTHUR: No, no - look! LOOK! We got the tiny old-woman arms 'n EVERYTHING! Look! Rawr! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070817.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 18 / 2007 | [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: Listen champ, I CAN'T be your dad. I already have a rambunctious lizard to raise. / Little Duck: Mwack? / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: What...? Where? / Little Duck: Mwack mwack mwack / / [[Duck pond]] / Little Duck: Mwack mwack mwack / ARTHUR: What? Where you goin'? / / [[Duck pond]] / Little Duck: Mwack mwack mwack / ARTHUR: Hold up! / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: Make way, folks! Comin' through. 'Scuse me. / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: Pardon me, ladies - comin' through.
/ / / [[Duck pond]] / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: Hel-looooo, by the way. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070818.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 19 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: The 7-ton t-rex crashes through the forest canopy. He's hungry, and on the prowl. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Suddenly, he spots a gently grazing herbivore. ...and the chase begins! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: With top speeds of 40 mph, the t-rex closes the gap in seconds! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: It's over before it even started! Nothing can stop history's greatest hunter from — / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): THWIP BAM / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Aw man ... you suck. / FLACO: SkaWEE. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070819.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 20 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Fresh from his kill, the t-rex unleashes a mighty bellow. / (SOUND FX): BELLOW. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: In less than five minutes, he was able to hunt down, kill, and devour his prey. Only the carcass remains at his feet. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: They were, however, delicious McNuggets. / (SOUND FX): Burp http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070820.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 21 / 2007 | [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: The pterodactyl swoops gracefully over the placid sea… / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Below, a gentle plesiosaur cranes his neck out of the water... / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: But then, a totally unexpected and planet-changing meteor cannonballs into Earth! / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Dude! This is the Jurassic period, not the end of the Mesozoic! / SHELDON: BOO-YA!! A totally unexpected and historically incorrect cannonball! / FLACO: ptui! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070821.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 22 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: You wanted proof, I brought you proof. Look! / (SOUND FX): WAP! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...The scientific name of the dinosaur is "The Supersaurus" THE SUPERSAURUS / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: My theory ain't so far-fetched NOW, is it? This is undeniable proof. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: ...There were X-Men 120 million years ago. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070822.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 23 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Supersaurus: You rang, commissioner? / triceratops: Supersaurus! Thank God you're here! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / triceratops: The super villains have stolen the diamond, and retreated to their mountain-top lair! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / triceratops: All you need to do is fly up there and - / Supersaurus: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. FLY? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Supersaurus: Dude, I weigh 49.5 tons. NOT cool. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070823.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 24 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / triceratops: I don't understand, Supersaurus. I thought you were a superhero! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / triceratops: But if you can't fly, don't have super-healing, and can't shoot lasers from your eyes... WHAT ARE YOUR SUPER-POWERS? / Supersaurus: Commissioner, I weigh 49.5 tons / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Supersaurus: SITTING is my super-power. / (SOUND FX): CRUNCH / triceratops: Aigh! No!! ...My palm tree collection! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070824.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 25 / 2007 | ARTHUR: / Little Duck: / ducks (not Arthur): http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070825.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 26 / 2007 | [[nonspecific (white background) (no borders)]] / NARRATOR: What happens when you eat too much sugar / When you're 10 / When you're 65 / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Two minutes in: Feelin' awesome / SHELDON: Woo-Hoo! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Two minutes in: Feelin'awesome / GRAMP: Woo-hoo! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Ten minutes in: Sugar rush! / SHELDON: I'm gonna run laps around the house for no apparent reason. Yep yep yep yep yep / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Ten minutes in: Sugar rush, followed by diet guilt. / GRAMP: ...how many Weight Watchers points are two rows of Oreos? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: 45 minutes in: Sugar crash / SHELDON: need... to lie down... anywhere... this pile of... legos will do / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: 45 minutes in: Sugar crash with malaria-like symptoms / GRAMP: Oof. Why does my stomach feel like Scott Baio's career?? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: 60 minutes in: You want more sugar / SHELDON: munch munch munch / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: 60 minutes in: You never want sugar again. You want all sugar everywhere to be blasted in a thermo-nuclear explosion. / GRAMP: But... maybe just one more oreo. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070826.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 27 / 2007 | NARRATOR: When a pug hears a noise, it triggers one of four responses: / / NARRATOR: 1. FEAR: The noise you hears is dangerous. Run away.
/ 2. FRIENDSHIP: The noise you hear is your owner. Hurray!
/ 3. IGNORE: The noise you hear is probably nuthin’
/ 4. PROTECT: The noise you hear is a threat. Protect your territory! / All of which, unfortunately, trigger the same reaction
/ / / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070827.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 28 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Our pug is possibly the worst guard dog ever. He barks at all the wrong stuff... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Example A: Leaves blowing in the wind. Angriest dog ever / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: Example B: An angry Genghis Khan, holding a sword, two grenades, and a vial of deadly 1911 Spanish flu. Friendly li'l tail just waggin' away http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070828.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 29 / 2007 | OSO: / NARRATOR: HOW A PUG'S GUARD-DOG BARK COMPARES TO A CAR ALARM / / Car: / OSO: HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE / NARRATOR: 1. Both will start blaring for no apparent reason
/ 2. The only way to stop them, once they get goin’, is to find their owner
/ 3. Both go off again at 1:26 AM—just as you’re falling asleep
/ 4. Both can achieve a pitch that sounds like Rosie Perez on helium
/ 5. No sane person pays attention to either one
/ / (SOUND FX): BEEEE OOOO BEEEEE OOOO BEEE OOO http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070829.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 30 / 2007 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: HYPE
/ HYPE
/ HYPE
/ HYPE
/ HYPE / ARTHUR: Lookit yourself, man. You've been barking for two hours straight. / Is this how you want to live your life??
/ ...Is this REALLY how you wanna spend your days?? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / OSO: Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! Hype! / ARTHUR: Buh. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070830.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from August / 31 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Darn 'n tarnation! Our horse has gone and got uppity. / OSO: hype hype hype hype / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: And there's only one way to deal with an uppity horse. We gone' hafta train 'im! Learn 'im good on how ta folla 'structions 'n g'to the mr't witta serter berta rerter.
/ / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: What?? Too much with the frontier-talk? / FLACO: squee. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070831.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 01 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / FLACO: ...Squee? Squeesquee squee? / ARTHUR: Yeah, he did it. He found his parents / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Or...I guess...WE found his parents collectively. ALL OF US. Together. As a......group. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: 'Cause, you know, he wouldn't have found them without US. He'd still be HERE, laughin' with us, if we hadn't gone out and...and... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): bonk. / ARTHUR: ...Why does doin' the right thing have to suck lemons? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070901.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 02 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field, Rocks)]] / ARTHUR: Breakin' in a wild mustang is one o' the hardest things a cowboy can do.
/ 'Cuz ain't nuthin' got more sass than a wild mustang. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field, Rocks)]] / ARTHUR: But as a cowboy, you gotta find the strength to tame that critter. Find it WITHIN YOU. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): thwip! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): Fwip Fwip Fwip Fwip / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / (SOUND FX): *throw* / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field)]] / ARTHUR: Oh-Kayyy... You, uh, found it within you.
/ But that's a mite bit disgustin'
/ ... As a cowboy you gonna wanna minimize the disgustin'-ness http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070902.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 03 / 2007 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Cowboy driver's test, in progress: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: OK, I'm gonna need you to signal a left turn up ahead. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: C'mon...
/ A left turn signal.
/ ... you KNOW this / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / FLACO: ptui / ARTHUR: THATaboy.
/ ...ya done done it. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070903.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 04 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / FLACO: / OSO: / NARRATOR: Cowboy driver’s test / ARTHUR: Next question: you’ve just been involved in a 3-horse accident, and you’re plumb mad. WHAT IS THE PROPER COWBOY RESPONSE? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / FLACO: squee squee aquee squee squee squee squee squee squee squee squee squee ptui! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: / ARTHUR: Good! And what is the proper cowboy response if a sheriff is present? / FLACO: ... / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / FLACO: / OSO: / ARTHUR: Good, GOOD! … But try to look like your heart is all humble ‘n stuff… http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070904.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 05 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Okay, we're now at the WRITTEN portion of your cowboy driver's test. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Blackboard: X / ARTHUR: Ya done passed. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070905.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 06 / 2007 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: Congratchy-lations! You is now a legal, O-fficial cowboy! You can GO wherever you want, DO whatever you want! You is the master of yer destiny! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: / FLACO: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: / FLACO: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: / FLACO: / (SOUND FX): FUMP / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / OSO: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: Solid work http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070906.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 07 / 2007 | [[THE HOUSE]] / Wii: / ARTHUR: MMF / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Wii: / ARTHUR: phnfff / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Wii: / ARTHUR: MMPH / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Wii: / SHELDON: You're really not built for the Wii, are you? / ARTHUR: GNNG http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070907.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 09 / 2007 | [[Bedroom]] / Mirror: / tie: / shirt: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: Whenever I'm puttin' on a tie, I like to leave my collar up for a minute. / / [[Bedroom]] / tie: / shirt: / GRAMP: 'Cause CHECK IT OUT! I look like Benjamin Disraeli! / / [[Bedroom]] / tie: / shirt: / GRAMP: "Pip-pip, my good man! I must speak with Queen Victoria about this! Pip-Pip!" / / [[Bedroom]] / tie: / shirt: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: heh heh heh / / [[Bedroom]] / tie: / shirt: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: / / [[Bedroom]] / tie: / shirt: / GRAMP: ... Nuthin'? Not even a smile? / ARTHUR: No, no.... "Benjamin Disraeli" jokes. Awesome... So timely. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/070909.html |
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