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Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 11 / 2008 [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Imagine... It's 468,000 years in the future, and humanity has left the earth. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: It's a derelict planet. Abandoned. Quiet. ...Only the artefacts of a long-ago civilization remain. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: But suddenly! An archaelogical ship from a far-away empire pierces the atmosphere and lands! / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Among the ruins of massive cities, they search for clues of this once-great culture and people. / ... And they find it! A sublime, beautiful T.V. recording... / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: "Dance war: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann." / SHELDON: GUH.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080211.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 12 / 2008 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Bruno: MOVE! Move like-a volcano! / Carlo Moretti: Hello. My name is Carlo Moretti. I'm here as a representative of the Italian Office of Foreign Affairs. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Bruno: Dat dance move wassa brilliant! Like-a fish datta found da wings of angels! / Carlo Moretti: On Behalf of Italy, I'm here to apologize for "Bruno" of "Dance war: Bruno Vs. Carrie Ann." / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Bruno: Thassit! You gotta feeeel da rhythm inna you groins. / Carlo Moretti: Italians are not normally this weird and flamboyant. We are a strong, proud, modern people. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Bruno: THASSA SPICY MEATBALL! / Carlo Moretti: Please. Please stop. You're a caricature of a human being.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080212.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 13 / 2008 [[Playground]] / Seesaw: / ARTHUR: I say "boo" on us. Here we are, already in 2008, and we STILL don't have a name for the decade. / FLACO: / / [[Playground]] / Seesaw: / ARTHUR: We gave up! We tried a bunch of lame names, and none of 'em worked! And now we all try to avoid the issue. / / [[Playground]] / Seesaw: / ARTHUR: But what will future historians call this decade? How will they encapsulate the beauty of the age? / FLACO: / / [[Playground]] / Seesaw: / ARTHUR: And how the heck will Time-Life market cheesy song collections? ..."Rockin' the naughts"? ... "We OUGHT to rock"? / FLACO: [sound FX] Fump.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080213.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 14 / 2008 [[den]] / Chair: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: I'M SERIOUS: IF A DECADE DOESN'T HAVE A GOOD NAME, IT GETS FORGOTTEN BY HISTORY / / [[den]] / Chair: / ARTHUR: WHEN I SAY "20S," WHAT DO YOU THINK OF? / GRAMP: "ROARING" / / [[den]] / Chair: / ARTHUR: "30S?" / "40S?" / "50S?" / GRAMP: DEPRESSION / WAR. / CHROME / / [[den]] / Chair: / ARTHUR: ...BUT IF I SAY "THE ZEROES" OR"THE NAUGHTIES" OR "THE OH-OHs," WHAT DO YOU THINK OF? / GRAMP: HMMMMM / / [[den]] / Chair: / ARTHUR: SEE?!? THIS DECADE IS TOTALLY GONNA BE FORGOTTEN! / / GRAMP: WOULD IT BE SO TERRIBLE IF THIS DECADE WAS FORGOTTEN?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080214.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 15 / 2008 [[Outside - Rocks]] / Laptop: / ARTHUR: Hey, both Microsoft and News Corp. are thinking about taking over Yahoo. / SHELDON: Yeah, so? / / [[Outside - Rocks]] / ARTHUR: So? So you should get in on that action! ...You should have your company bid on it! / SHELDON: Oh yeah... maybe I should / / [[Outside - Rocks]] / Laptop: / ARTHUR: C'mon! Why aren't you thinking of this? What are you doing that's more important?? / SHELDON: I'm writing angry emails asking when Battlestar Galactica is back on. / / [[Outside - Rocks]] / Laptop: / ARTHUR: ...How does your company even survive? / SHELDON: I believe in empowering my employees to manage themselves. / ...Which empowers me to write crazy emails.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080215.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 16 / 2008 [[Sheldonsoft (Exterior)]] / SHELDON: I ENDED UP MAKING A BID ON YAHOO / ARTHUR: GOOD! / Steve Ballmer: YELL YELL YELL / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: YEAH, BUT NOW MICROSOFT IS PRETTY MAD AT E. THEIR CEO, STEVE BALLMER, IS TRYING TO "TALK ME OUT OF IT." / Steve Ballmer: YELL YELL YELL / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Steve Ballmer: yell yell yell yell breathe yell yell yell / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...HE REALLY MAKES ME MISS THE QUIET SUPERIORITY-COMPLEX OF BILL GATES. / / Steve Ballmer: BALLMER SMASH! RAWR! / ARTHUR: STEVE! NO! THAT'S AN EXTERIOR WALL! WE'RE 37 STORIES UP!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080216.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 17 / 2008 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: / Steve Ballmer: YELL YELL YELL / SHELDON: Gramp - I'm home! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: What the -? Who is THIS? / Steve Ballmer: YELL YELL YELL / SHELDON: It's Steve Ballmer, the CEO of Microsoft. He followed me home. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / SHELDON: He's mad that I'm bidding against him to buy yahoo. / Steve Ballmer: YELL YELL YELL / GRAMP: How long is this gonna keep up? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: / SHELDON: Could be a while. Rupert Murdoch is also bidding now. / Steve Ballmer: YELL YELL YELL / Rupert Murdoch: YELL YELL YELL crikey!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080217.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 18 / 2008 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Mr. Murdoch, I won't be intimidated out of buying Yahoo. / Rupert Murdoch: Give it up, mate. You'll never win against Microsoft or me. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Rupert Murdoch: I own MySpace, Sky, Fox, The Wall St. Journal, and 17 new companies I bought this morning. / / Rupert Murdoch: What do you own, besides "SheldonSoft"? / SHELDON: um... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: ...I own Kirk's original phaser. / ARTHUR: General Electric. He bought that. / ARTHUR: And all of Spain.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080218.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 19 / 2008 [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Don't let Rupert Murdoch scare you, Shel. He's not an unbeatable opponent. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Sure, he's one of the richest, most powerful men in the world ... with dozens of companies that dominate their industries, and a personal power to manipulate business and politics all over the world... / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: But still ... STILL the folds of his neck look like they were made out of oatmeal and strips of parchment from the U.S. Constitution. / / [[THE POND]] / ARTHUR: Go ahead. Do a Google Image-search. I'll wait. / SHELDON: I'm good.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080219.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 20 / 2008 [[THE POND (in pond)]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: OK, OK, I got it. Here's our strategy for buying Yahoo: WE GIVE UP. / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / ARTHUR: We announce publicly we're not interested, and we give up. ...THEN, we power into a marathon session of "Guitar Hero." / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: YOU will be playing the role of the dim-witted but loyal stage-hand. I, of course, will be the legendary ax-man Roy "Buttersauce" Tibbins. / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / ARTHUR: We'll go on a 48-city tour. My old lady Edna will join us in Poughkeepsie. / SHELDON: DRIFTING! / DRIFTING!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080220.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 21 / 2008 [[Duck pond]] / SHELDON: So now you're saying I shouldn't buy yahoo? / ARTHUR: Yeah. It's not worth it. / / [[Duck pond]] / ARTHUR: First, because you'll never outbid Microsoft. Those are dudes that didn't date much in high school. They NEED this. / / [[Duck pond]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Secondly, Yahoo's lost so much value the last few years.... What do you gain by owning it? / / [[Duck pond]] / SHELDON: I'd get to yell YAAAAHooOooo! / ARTHUR: Sadly, that jingle now represents 86% of the stock value.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080221.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 22 / 2008 [[THE POND (in pond)]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: So, you can be "underwhelmed" and you can be "overwhelmed" / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: But can you be "whelmed"? / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / SHELDON: .... / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / SHELDON: ....maybe? / ARTHUR: "maybe"?? / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / ARTHUR: I am whelmed by your response. / SHELDON: I'm moderately whelmed.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080222.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 23 / 2008 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field)]] / Book: / rock: / SHELDON: You ever read the list of top-selling cars in America? / ARTHUR: Yeeeeeahhh...not so much. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Book: / SHELDON: It's weird...truck sales CRUSH car sales. The highest-selling trucks are almost double the highest-selling cars. / ARTHUR: Well, sure! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: 'Cause this here's 'Merica, Boy! A man need a big ol' truck fer a big ol' country like 'Merica! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field)]] / Book: / rock: / SHELDON: You don't think it's because lots of businesses need trucks? / ARTHUR: Maybe. But I like saying 'Merica. / 'MERICA.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080223.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 24 / 2008 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (forest)]] / OSO: / NARRATOR: A guide to what your pug is telling you. / *Brought to you by The Department of Homeland Security: "because we are more than racial profiling!" / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (forest)]] / NARRATOR: If he makes a high pitched whine for no reason, he's saying... / OSO: Existence. She is confusing, no? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: If he runs around in a circle for 36 minutes he's saying... / OSO: Can't get tail.. to straighten.. out. Must...... keep..... going..... / Science / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: If he's smiling pleasantly at you he's saying... / OSO: I have done something massively unthinkable in an item of your footwear / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: If he sounds like a asthmatic jogger in a Beijing smog, he's saying.. / OSO: Who designed my breathing passages-- a kindergarten class??
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080224.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 25 / 2008 [[Store]] / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: These kitchen-supply stores are ridiculous. Look at all these super-specialized cooking utensils. / / [[Store (Kitchen-Supply)]] / ARTHUR: Melon ballers, garlic rollers, radish dimplers, fig jigglers... WHO NEEDS ALL THIS? / / [[Store (Kitchen-Supply)]] / GRAMP: Can we just get the dang lemon-zester and go, please? / ARTHUR: ...No interest in getting some of these "olive abusers"?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080225.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 26 / 2008 [[Store]] / Door: / Bag: / ARTHUR: It's a weird product, but I guess a lemon zester fills a niche. / GRAMP: Neesh. / / [[Store]] / Door: / Bag: / ARTHUR: Neesh? Nitch? Neesh? / GRAMP: Neesh. / / [[Store]] / ARTHUR: Neesh... / GRAMP: Noosh.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080226.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 27 / 2008 [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / Lemons: / Lemon Zester: / ARTHUR: What does one DO with a lemon zester? / GRAMP: You zest lemons / (SOUND FX): shick / shick / shick / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / ARTHUR: Doesn't that imply that you're ADDING zest to a lemon? when in fact you are ROBBING it of it's zest? / ... for life? / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: Shouldn't it be called a lemon dezester? an unzester? producing a zestless lemon? / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / ARTHUR: And what's with dudes with huge Adams apples? That not freak you out? / GRAMP: YOU CAN'T CHANGE TOPICS ON A DIME LIKE THAT.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080227.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 28 / 2008 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / music notes: / ARTHUR: Why do birds suddenly appear / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / music notes: / ARTHUR: Every time / Every time / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / music notes: / ARTHUR: You are near / You are near / / [[nonspecific (white and black background)]] / ARTHUR: Just like me, they long to be / / [[THE HOUSE]] / music notes: / Chair: / Newspaper: / Lamp: / ARTHUR: Close to yoooou / GRAMP: Get off myyyy heaaaad...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080228.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from February / 29 / 2008 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Laptop: / SHELDON: / NARRATOR: New to Facebook? Let us show you how it works... / (1.) You get a friend request from a buddy... / Computer Screen: "Arthur would like to be your friend on Facebook!" / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (Rocks)]] / Laptop: / Glasses: / NARRATOR: (2.) Your buddy slowly figures out Facebook... / ARTHUR: hmmm... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: (3.) Almost immediately, that buddy sends you an unending barrage of weird invites... / Computer Screen: "Arthur has thrown a wet frog at you! Do you accept?" / "Arthur has invited you to join the "pickles is nasty group"... 'cause pickles is nasty" / "Arthur has bitten you as a werewolf! 'Cause...apparently...that's...a thing now?" / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (Rocks)]] / Book: / SHELDON: / NARRATOR: (4.) You never, ever, ever go on Facebook again. EVER. / ARTHUR: Hey, I sent you 437 invites for my "Chuck Norris literature appreciation group." It's vitally important you join, man.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080229.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 01 / 2008 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (Rocks)]] / Pencil: / Art pad: / baseball cap: / ARTHUR: Why do you want to be an artist, Dante? / DANTE: I dunno. I guess 'cause I like drawin'. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Pencil: / Art pad: / baseball cap: / DANTE: But also 'cause I want to say somethin' with my art, you know? / ...to make the kind of statement no artist has ever made. / ...ever. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (Rocks, tree)]] / Pencil: / Art pad: / baseball cap: / DANTE: / ARTHUR: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (Rocks, tree)]] / Pencil: / Art pad: / baseball cap: / DANTE: / ARTHUR: "...I can make rent"?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080301.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 02 / 2008 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass, Rocks)]] / Book: Open: / SHELDON: "Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me; The carriage held but just ourselves and immortality." / ARTHUR: "Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me; The carriage held but just ourselves and immortality. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass, Rocks)]] / Book: Open: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: We slowly drove, he knew no haste, and I had put away - My labor, and my leisure too, for his civility. We passed the school, where children strove at recess, in the ring; We passed the fields of gazing grain, we passed the setting sun. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass, Rocks)]] / Book: Open: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: Or rather, he passed us; The dews grew quivering and chill, for only gossamer my gown... My tippet only tulle. We paused before a house that seemed a swelling of the ground; the roof was scarcely visible, the cornice but a mound. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass, Rocks)]] / Book: Open: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each feels shorter than the day I first surmised the horses' heads... ...were towards eternity." / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass, Rocks)]] / Book: Open: / SHELDON: Wow... ...Emily Dickenson. / ARTHUR: ...Bringin' the chuckles.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080302.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 03 / 2008 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Book: / SHELDON: "It's such a little thing to weep - so short a thing to sigh - and yet - by trades - the size of these we men and women die" / ARTHUR: Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Book: / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Book: / SHELDON: Is this your way of saying you've heard enough Emily Dickinson / ARTHUR: Boom Boom Shacka Lacka Lacka Boom
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080303.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 04 / 2008 [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: (sound effect) thwip! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: (sound effect)sqlorch / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: (sound effect) thwip / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: (sound effect)sqlorch / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: (to Flaco) WALK THROUGH A ROOM LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080304.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 05 / 2008 [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: thwip! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: sqlorch / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: / / [[THE HOUSE]] / FLACO: ....squee? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Book: Open: / GRAMP: / FLACO:
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080305.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 06 / 2008 [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / Book: / GRAMP: / FLACO: thwip / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / Book: / GRAMP: / FLACO: splorch / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / Book: / GRAMP: / FLACO: thwip / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / Book: / GRAMP: / FLACO: thwip, thwip-splorch / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / Book: / FLACO: / GRAMP: thwip-splorch, thwip-splorch, thwip-splorch, / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Lamp: / Book: / FLACO: / GRAMP: Pick a spot and stick to it!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080306.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 07 / 2008 [[Gramp in a Circle]] / Coffee Cup: / NARRATOR: Answering your pressing question: / GRAMP: Why are coffees from a coffee shop so much tastier than what I brew at home? / / [[Coffee Shop]] / NARRATOR: 1. Somehow, hearing your name called makes coffee taste better / Barista: Gramp! Triple caramel latte for Gramp! / GRAMP: What??... For moi? titter titter / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Coffee maker: / NARRATOR: 2. They brew their coffee in a gigantor, brass machine from Italy called "la Bellisima" or "Pasta Fagioli" or sumthin' / / [[Coffee Shop]] / Bag of Sugar: / cup of coffee: / funnel: / Barista: / NARRATOR: 3. They use a secret ingredient in their lattes
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080307.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 08 / 2008 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Coffee Cup: / GRAMP: Why? Why is Starbucks coffee so much better than what I make at home?? / ARTHUR: Dude, don't make it a competition. If theirs is better, buy THEIRS. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Coffee Cup: / GRAMP: I can't afford it! They charge four bucks for one dang latte! / ARTHUR: Really? Four bucks?...They must have huge operating expenses. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Chart: Our operating expenses: -water [crossed out] free / -beans / Starbucks employee:
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080308.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 09 / 2008 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Bag of coffee beans spilled: / NARRATOR: Why do coffee-shop brews taste better than yours at home? Well, THEY use fresh-ground beans. / / NARRATOR: YOU use canned coffee that was ground in Ohio two years ago. / GRAMP: Hm. / / Coffee maker: / NARRATOR: THEY use well-maintained machines. / / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: YOU sorta kinda give your coffee-thing a courtesy rinse from the day before / / Espresso maker: / NARRATOR: THEY use an $800 espresso maker that has massive, massive water pressure / / NARRATOR: YOU use a $28 machine that you bought at Target...that has the water pressure of a 65-year old guy's bladder. / GRAMP: HEY. / / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: *true*
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080309.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 10 / 2008 [[Garage]] / Chair: / Paint Can: / paintbrush: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: Somewhere, there's a chemist whose sole job is to think about wood stain. / / [[Garage]] / ARTHUR: "...How can I make this wood stain better? How can I make drying time faster?" / ...we live in a world where someone's SOLE PURPOSE is wood stain. WOOD STAIN!!! / / [[Garage]] / ARTHUR: / / [[Garage]] / Chair: / Paint Can: / paintbrush: / ARTHUR: Life: It's interesting. / GRAMP: ...thank you, Sesame Street.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080310.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 11 / 2008 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: And now, A HAIKU...crystallizing the pain of modern life, as we struggle to find true connection in this all-too-isolated world: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field, forest, long grass, Rocks, shrubbery)]] / Laptop: / ARTHUR: Oh, stranger's wifi: Your signal! Flickers on/off! I...must pay...for web?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/080311.html
 

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