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Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 07 / 2009 [[Courthouse (outside)]] / ARTHUR: That judge seemed nice. / GRAMP: Oh sure... NOW you're "Chatty Cathy". / / [[Outdoors]] / ARTHUR: Hey man, sometimes I get shy around new people. / GRAMP: YOU GET SHY MY BIG RED RUMP. You never get shy. / / [[Outdoors]] / ARTHUR: Look, I'm sorry. I was just messin' with you. I'll pay the $90 ticket and fine. / GRAMP: HMMPH. / / [[Outdoors]] / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: / / [[Outdoors]] / ARTHUR: Did you say "your big red rump"??? / GRAMP: I liked it better when you were silent. / ARTHUR: "RED"??
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090307.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 08 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (lawn)]] / ARTHUR: Do you remember the Star Trek movie where they had to travel back in time, capture a whale, bring it forward in time, and make it talk to threatening aliens? / SHELDON: Sure. Yeah. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (lawn)]] / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (lawn)]] / ARTHUR: MAN! / SHELDON: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (lawn)]] / ARTHUR: You can look at that plot fifty different ways. / SHELDON: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (lawn)]] / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (lawn)]] / ARTHUR: ...and not a solitary thing about it makes a lick of sense, does it? / SHELDON: Oh HECK no.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090308.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 09 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Car: / NARRATOR: When you're young, you hear the music of your generation EVERYWHERE: on radio, on TV and in films / Young Gramp: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: But as you get older, your music disappears from pop culture: it's old people's music. / GRAMP: What is this stuff? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Television: / NARRATOR: And then, one magical day, you hear your music on TV again... and you don't feel so old anymore. / GRAMP: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Television: Are you 65 or older ...and constantly piddlin'? / NARRATOR: ...until you realize the music is being used to sell adult bladder-control medicine. / GRAMP: Aw, C'MON.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090309.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 10 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Sometimes you can be mad at a friend, for something they did to you... IN A DREAM. / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: ...You mad at me? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: They've done nothing to you in real life, but you can't stop being angry at them. It all seemed so real in the dream. / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: hellooooo? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: And you can't tell them WHY you're mad: you'll look like an idiot. So you say nothing. / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: C'mon. What'd I do? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Until around noon, when it all comes spilling out. / SHELDON: In the dream you had 14 camels and you wouldn't give me one and then you flew them to the moon and left me in Maine and you were a jerk. / ARTHUR: [thinks] ...Maine?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090310.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 11 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: You CANNOT be mad at me for something I did in your dream. It didn't happen! / SHELDON: You were a jerk. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: I wasn't a jerk! That's the point! You just DREAMED I was a jerk! In some illogical, impossible dream! / SHELDON: Whatever. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / GRAMP: Why wouldn't you let me feed your pegasus at the 1910 World's Fair?? / ARTHUR: Come ON.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090311.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 12 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: You know how you get a song stuck in your brain? And you can't get it out? And it's super annoying? / ARTHUR: Yeah. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / SHELDON: So... what happens when THE BORG get a song stuck in their head? They're a HIVE MIND! If one of 'em starts singing, it'll go in an infinite loop! Distracting them from everything else! / / [[Space]] / Borg cube: (Totally losing battle) / Borg 3 (Gerold): We are fam-a-lee! I got all my sisters with me! / Borg: Gerold, NO!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090312.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 13 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Borg: We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. / Geordie (Star Trek: The Next Generation): / Riker (Star Trek: The Next Generation): Aigh! Our weapons aren't stopping them! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Borg 2 (Larry): Luuuuck be a laaady to-night... / Borg: Larry, no! Don't get a song stuck in our head! We won't be able to-- / Geordie (Star Trek: The Next Generation): / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: 46 days later / Borg: (in unison) Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with, luck be a lady tonight... / Borg 2 (Larry): (in unison) Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with, luck be a lady tonight... / Borg: (thinks) Son of a-- / Geordie (Star Trek: The Next Generation): / Riker (Star Trek: The Next Generation):
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090313.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 14 / 2009 [[Space]] / Spaceship: / NARRATOR: Once, they were the scourge of the universe. But now, the Borg have been completely defeated. / / [[Space]] / Spaceship: / NARRATOR: They float through space, engines off, still reeling from the super-weapon that humanity unleashed upon them: / / [[Space]] / Spaceship: / Borg: This is the song that never ends... Yes it goes on and on my friends...
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090314.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 15 / 2009 [[Street]] / Bag of Groceries: / Jeannie: Mister? Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies? / GRAMP: No thank you, little one. I'm trying to cut down. / / [[Street]] / Jeannie: Oh. OH! "Cutting down," you say? I see. I see. Interesting. / / [[Street]] / Bag of Groceries: / Box: / GRAMP: / Jeannie: Tell you what. Lemme give you a box of "Thin Mints." A gift. From me to you. / / [[Street]] / Bag of Groceries: / Box: / Jeannie: / GRAMP: / / [[Street]] / Bag of Groceries: / Box: / GRAMP: / / [[Street]] / money: / Jeannie: / GRAMP: What'll $200 get me?? / Child (generic) 2: Daaaaaang, Jeannie
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090315.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 16 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Television: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: I guess "Shark Week" was such a popular TV stunt, they decided to leverage it further. / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Television: / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Yeah, but "Shark Week" literally has BITE. It markets itself. But this idea! This borders on... ridiculous. / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Television: / TV: PUG WEEK: ... it'll bug your eyes out.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090316.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 17 / 2009 [[In front of the television]] / ARTHUR: It's fun to see professional journalists and zoologists lose it during "Pug Week." / SHELDON: "Lose it"? How so? / / [[In front of the television]] / ARTHUR: Well, just watch 'em track this pack of wild pugs in Kenya / SHELDON: / Reporter: To the trained eye, it's easy to spot the "alpha pug" in the pack... He is the dominant male by ANY standard: / / [[In front of the television]] / ARTHUR: / Reporter: He is stronger, taller, faster... and has just the chubbiest wubbiest widdle tail. Oh yes he does. [sing-song] OH YES HE DOES. / SHELDON: Hmm.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090317.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 18 / 2009 [[African savannah (Sun, tree)]] / NARRATOR: In the tall grass of the Serengeti, a wild pug will wait, motionless, for UP TO 48 HOURS. / / [[African savannah]] / Wild pug (dog): / NARRATOR: They are waiting for THE perfect moment to strike. Wind conditions, time of day, type of prey... it all has to be perfect. / / [[African savannah]] / Wild pug (dog): / NARRATOR: But once they pounce, it's all over in seconds. / / [[African savannah]] / Wild pug (dog): / NARRATOR: The sock doesn't stand a chance.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090318.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 19 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass)]] / OSO: / NARRATOR: When a wild pug hunts, their stamina is AMAZING. They will crouch and wait as long as needed to catch their prey. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass)]] / OSO: / NARRATOR: Famed big-game zoologist John Martin once timed a pug sitting perfectly still for 14 hours straight. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass)]] / OSO: / NARRATOR: He wrote: "To watch a pug hunt in the wild is like watching THE EMBODIMENT OF PATIENCE..." / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (long grass)]] / OSO: Z / NARRATOR: "...until you realize that their eyes are too big for their lids to close, and the dang thing is asleep."
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090319.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 20 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Elephant: / NARRATOR: Rare is the animal that can take on a lion. One such beast is the bull elephant: it has the girth and tusks to stop the king of the jungle. / / [[Outdoors]] / Wild pug (dog): / Lion, male: RAWRR / NARRATOR: But even an elephant can't match the fighting INGENUITY of a wild pug: / / [[Outdoors]] / NARRATOR: Its shedding power is unstoppable. / Wild pug (dog): [Sound FX: fuppa fuppa fuppa] / Lion, male: Ha-CHOO!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090320.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 21 / 2009 [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Hands down, you know what the weirdest health product is? FISH OIL. ...and people have been doin' it FOR CENTURIES. / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: Why is it weird that they've been doin' it for centuries? / ARTHUR: Well, compare it to vitamin B-12, for example. Science and engineering have learned how to EXTRACT PURE B-12 from the natural world, right? But fish oil is essentially just some dude squeezin' a fish. Dontcha kinda wonder who that first dude was? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / fish: / cup: / pirate: ARR. I betcha fish have healin' properties, on accounta they swims with mermaids. / Pirate 2: Aye, 'tis science. ...Squeeze it into me cup.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090321.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 22 / 2009 [[Outside - Rocks]] / sunglasses: / ARTHUR: OK, here's the situtation. My parents went away on a week's vacation. / FLACO: Z / / [[Outside - Rocks]] / sunglasses: / ARTHUR: And they left the keys to the brand new Porsche. Do they mind? Mmm. Well. Of course not. / FLACO: [Sound effect: eyelids make "poink" sound as they snap open] / / [[Outside - Rocks]] / sunglasses: / ARTHUR: I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends. / / [[Outside - Rocks]] / sunglasses: / ARTHUR: I'll just cruise around the neighborhood. Well maybe I shouldn't. Yeah, of course I should. / FLACO: SQUEE??! squee squee SQUEE?! / / [[Outside - Rocks]] / sunglasses: / ARTHUR: Oh don't be all Mr Complainy. You KNOW I gotta recite Fresh Prince before I can nap. It's a perfectly normal mania! / FLACO: #*@
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090322.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 23 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE]] / suitcase: / FLACO: / SHELDON: Whoa. What's with the luggage? / ARTHUR: We're going to Hawaii! Flaco's been savin' up his allowance, and he's treating us! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / suitcase: / FLACO: / SHELDON: Allowance? You give him an allowance? / ARTHUR: I don't... but your grandfather does. Ever since the TV remote broke, he's had Flaco on the payroll. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: UP, UP, UP. / FLACO: FWIP! >>click<< / FWIP! >>click<< / GRAMP: ooooh, doughnut ad! / UP, UP. / FLACO: FWIP! >>click<< / FWIP! >>click<<
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090323.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 24 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / suitcase: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: Every trip we take, we forget to pack something... So let's go down the list to be sure we got it all. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Hawaiian shirts? / FLACO: squee / ARTHUR: Shorts? / FLACO: squee / ARTHUR: Swimsuits? / FLACO: squee / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / suitcase: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: ohhhh... Dang it... You know what we're totally forgetting??? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / suitcase: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: WE DON'T WEAR ANY FLIPPIN' CLOTHES.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090324.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 25 / 2009 [[airport]] / Airplane: / Pilot: Welcome aboard flight #239! / ARTHUR: Wow! The captain! You know, when I was a kid, the captain used to invite us little ones to see the cockpit. / / [[airport]] / Airplane: / ARTHUR: They'd make us feel like junior pilots! Even gave us little plastic "Cap'ns Wings" / Pilot: Yeah, well, they've given ME a triple-reinforced steel cabin door. / / [[airport]] / Airplane: / ARTHUR: / Pilot: / / [[airport]] / Airplane: / ARTHUR: ...I ain't seein' the cockpit, am I? / Pilot: YOU AIN'T
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090325.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 26 / 2009 [[Hawaii]] / ARTHUR: HAWAI'I!! Just think, Flaco... These islands were born from volcanoes! Born from the firemouth of Earth! / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii]] / ARTHUR: Forged... FORGED! From a hellish maw spewing ash and fire up from the sea. / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii]] / ARTHUR: And now... AND NOW! / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii]] / ARTHUR: It's mainly a conduit for mai tais. / FLACO:
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090326.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 27 / 2009 [[Hawaii (volcano)]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: See, Flaco? As the lava flows into the ocean, it's flash-cooled into rock. / / [[Hawaii (volcano)]] / ARTHUR: Then more lava pushes past THAT, and creates even more rock. And so on and so on. This repeats itself and the island constantly gets larger. / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii (volcano)]] / ARTHUR: In fact, soon Hawaii will be the largest land-mass IN THE WORLD! / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii (volcano)]] / ARTHUR: Science teaches us this. ...Surely. / FLACO:
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090327.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 28 / 2009 [[Hawaii (underwater)]] / Snorkel mask: / ARTHUR: (thinks) Snorkling in Hawaii is amazing! It's so quiet out here! / / [[Hawaii (underwater)]] / Snorkel mask: / ARTHUR: (thinks) It's like I'm finally alone with my thoughts... Finally able to listen to my heart, and to what it's been trying to tell me for years. / / [[Hawaii (underwater)]] / Snorkel mask: / ARTHUR: / / [[Hawaii (underwater)]] / Snorkel mask: / ARTHUR: (thinks) ..."Star Wars" is kinda god-awful, isn't it??
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090328.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 29 / 2009 [[Hawaii (underwater)]] / Snorkel mask: / ARTHUR: (thinks) Oh my gosh! A sea turtle! / Sea turtle: / / [[Hawaii (underwater)]] / Snorkel mask: / ARTHUR: (thinks) This is amazing! He glides like an underwater ANGEL! / Sea turtle: / / [[Hawaii (underwater)]] / Snorkel mask: / Sea turtle: / ARTHUR: (thinks) So graceful! So beautiful! Such sublime peace emanating from his presence! / / [[Hawaii (underwater)]] / Snorkel mask: / ARTHUR: (thinks) Swimming behind him, I feel like I'm in touch with God and nature and all of crea--* / Sea turtle: / / [[Hawaii (beach)]] / Towel: / flippers: / snorkel: / ARTHUR: Turns out, turtles poop. / FLACO:
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090329.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 30 / 2009 [[Hawaii (beach)]] / ARTHUR: If you look at a sea turtle long enough, you realize that evolution is super weird. / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii (beach)]] / ARTHUR: It just feels like... like... evolution is being guided by two 12-year old boys and a Lego set. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Toy animals: / Boy (Generic): heh heh heh. I popped off the feet and put fish flippers on this turtle! ...Let's do it to the elephant! / Boy (generic) 2: Stop itttt. Noooooooo. MOMMMM!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090330.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 31 / 2009 [[Hawaii (hotel bed)]] / Book: / ARTHUR: What a day! First, I got to snorkle with turtles! AND THEN, I rented some equipment and scuba dove! / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii (hotel bed)]] / ARTHUR: Or... scuba dived? Scuba dove, scuba dived?? Scuba... dove?? / / [[Hawaii (hotel bed)]] / ARTHUR: / / [[Hawaii (hotel bed)]] / Book: / ARTHUR: You know what? I'M ON VACATION! The English language can cram it. "I done did dive under that there water." / FLACO:
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090331.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 01 / 2009 [[Hawaii (rainforest)]] / ARTHUR: Hawaii is famous for having the most micro-climates on Earth. ...There's the rainforest / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii (desert)]] / ARTHUR: ...then you walk a few miles, and it's arid desert. / FLACO: / / [[Hawaii (mountain slope)]] / ARTHUR: ...a few more, and it's cold alpine conditions... / FLACO: / / [[France (Parisian street cafe)]] / ARTHUR: Then it just gets ridiculous. / FLACO: / Man (French, #2): / Man (French):
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090401.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 02 / 2009 [[Hawaii (hotel)]] / Clipboard: / ARTHUR: Excuse me, can I ask you a question about the hotel spa, Mister, uh... Mister "Kahai-na"? / Employee: / / [[Hawaii (hotel)]] / Clipboard: / ARTHUR: Um... "Kaihaina"? ... "Ka-i-ha-ia-na"? ... "Kah-ha-i-na"? / Employee: / / [[Hawaii (hotel)]] / Clipboard: / Employee: It says "Karl". / ARTHUR: oh.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090402.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 03 / 2009 [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / ARTHUR: Oddly enough, I get sad when Hawaiians offer me a "lei." / FLACO: Squee? / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / ARTHUR: Because they're basically saying "Look at the bounty our island has! We can literally give away millions of flowers to visitors, and not even notice it. THAT'S how bountiful our paradise is." / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / ARTHUR: "...Now compare that to the desolate wasteland you're going home to." / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / Woman (Hawaiian): Mahalo and aloha! We wish you a safe journey home! / ARTHUR: [thinks] "...to your desolate, wasteland existence"
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090403.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 04 / 2009 [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / costume: / FLACO: [ta-dah!] Squee! / ARTHUR: Aw man. No. What? NO. / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / costume: / ARTHUR: Where'd you get that? At that airport concession stand over there? / FLACO: squee! / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / cup of coffee: / ARTHUR: I left you for two seconds to get a latte. GOOD LORD 'N BUTTER, SON. / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / cup of coffee: / suitcase: / ARTHUR: PARENTHOOD, ...am I right? You turn around for two seconds and your kids are in their first coconut bras! / Woman (Generic): Not usually, no.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090404.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from April / 05 / 2009 [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / suitcase: / costume: / FLACO: / Employee: OK, you're all checked in, gentlemen. But we'll need to charge you $25 for the checked bag. / ARTHUR: WHOA! Really? ...What prompted that?? / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / Employee: Oh, it's because of sooooooper high oil prices. / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / ARTHUR: Super high oil prices. / Employee: No, no... SOOOOOPER high oil prices. / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / ARTHUR: Yeah, OK, but the price of oil has dropped 70% off its peak. / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / Employee: OH! Oh, right! NOT OIL. What I meant to say was "bank failures." Yeah. ...banks. / / [[Hawaii (Honolulu Airport)]] / ARTHUR: Look, just admit you're hooked on charging for ba-- / Employee: You'll also be paying the $20 "shutup-shutup-shutup" fee. la la la LA LA LA la la la la
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090405.html
 

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