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| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 05 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / SHELDON: / NARRATOR: You're grounded on "time out" in your quiet room with no video games to screech or go boom / / [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / SHELDON: / NARRATOR: No T.V., no internet, no iPods or phones... No electronic pastimes: it's just you alone. / / [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / NARRATOR: So what do you do for good times and laughs? YOU PRETEND THAT YOUR LEG'S A MAN-EATING GIRAFFE. / SHELDON: Check it: he got Boba Fett. / ARTHUR: NICE http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090605.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 06 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / SHELDON: What was Boba Fett`s home planet? Do they ever say where he and Jango where from? / ARTHUR: They always mention his "Mandalorian" Armor... Is there a planet called "Mandalore"? / / [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / SHELDON: I... I don't know. DANG. Now it's bugging me. / ARTHUR: You know what'd solve this in seconds? / / [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / SHELDON: Nerds on the internet? / ARTHUR: Nerds on the internet. ...but we ain't got it right now. / / [[THE HOUSE (SHELDON'S Bedroom)]] / NARRATOR: Bein' grounded: it's just the worst. / SHELDON: Aargh. It`s killing me now! / ARTHUR: I Need instant answers to my useless questions! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090606.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 07 / 2009 | GRAMP: Have you thought about the word you used, young man? / SHELDON: Yes Sir. / / dollar bill: / SHELDON: And I know you always say "Civility is the grease in the gears of civilization"...and that I wasn't being very civilized. / GRAMP: All right then. You go and play. And here's a dollar for the ice cream. / / SHELDON: Woo hoo! / GRAMP: And you, Duck? / ARTHUR: oh sure sure sure...I got it. "Grease...wheels...civility..." Totally got it. / / GRAMP: Hmm. / ARTHUR: And I'm never again gonna point out what a crapo name that is. That's a crapo problem, and I'll let THEM figure out how to deal with it in THEIR crapo lives. / / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: / / [[Bedroom]] / ARTHUR: dang it. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090607.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 08 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / TV: / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Liza minnelli always seems to wear the SAME outfit no matter what she is or what she's doing / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / TV: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / TV: / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: And it's the EXACT SAME OUTFIT... ...worn by general Zod http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090608.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 09 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / telephone: / Cell Phone: / ARTHUR: Who you callin'? / SHELDON: General Zod. I gotta tell him Liza Minelli's stealing his look. / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / telephone: / Cell Phone: / SHELDON: / Zod: "a-hoy-hoy! You've reached General Z! Sorry I missed your call, but I shall call back soon as I can! You know what to do at the beep!" / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / telephone: / Cell Phone: / SHELDON: / Zod: "KNEEL! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD." / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / wall: / SHELDON: thumpa thumpa thumpa / Zod: beeeeeeeep. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090609.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 10 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Radio: / GRAMP: / Radio Personality: YEAAAAAH... YOU'RE LISTENING TO 94.9, THE SMOOTH JAZZ STATION. / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Radio: / GRAMP: / Radio Personality: ANOTHER HOUR OF UNINTERRUPTED JAZZ COMIN' UP. SOFT, SMOOOOOTH JAZZ. / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Radio: / GRAMP: / Radio Personality: 'CAUSE THE LIGHTS ARE LOW, THE NIGHT IS RIGHT, AND THE JAZZ IS SO, SO SMOOOOO / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Radio: / Radio Personality: ZZZZZZZZ / GRAMP: WHOOPS. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090610.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 11 / 2009 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Podium: / Microphone: / SHELDON: Employees of Sheldonsoft: I understand you're worried about our plummeting, bottom-of-the-barrel stock price. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Podium: / Microphone: / SHELDON: But listen: In this recession it's been said that "flat is the new up". Soooo... our "down" is the new "flat", Right? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Sheldonsoft Employees: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Podium: / Microphone: / SHELDON: (Musical note)...WOO-HOO!(Musical note) http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090611.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 12 / 2009 | [[Sheldonsoft (meeting room)]] / SHELDON: Yikes. This is our new ad campaign for Sheldonsoft? / Sheldonsoft Employees: Sir, the market is nervous that we're facing this recession with a 10-year old CEO. / / [[Sheldonsoft (meeting room)]] / Sheldonsoft employee: People are asking "If even workaholic CEOs with fancy MBAs couldn't stop history's biggest bankrupcies, what can Sheldonsoft do? / We're just tryin' to spin it any way we can. / / [[nonspecific (white background) (Narration Panel)]] / *: Sheldonsoft: Determined to blindly grope our way through this.
/ Sheldonsoft: Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
/ Sheldonsoft: Whatcha gonna do? http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090612.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 13 / 2009 | [[Living Room]] / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: The marketing slogan "Dads & Grads" is brilliant. It ties together two totally different things into one massive sales push. But they could've pushed it further. / / [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: For instance: little league baseball is around the same time. Make it "Dads, Grads & Lads." / / [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: Oh heck! Tie it to those summertime scottish highland games... / GRAMP: "Dad, Grads, Lads and Plaids!" http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090613.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 14 / 2009 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: THE GREAT HAPPINESS SCALE
/ Find out how happy folks are, based on what they were in high school. / / [[Life is Awesome/High School]] / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Event Note: Championship game against West Lake High was perfect / / [[Life is Awesome/College]] / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Event Note: Now playing 3rd string. / Event Note: Hired 2.6 seconds after graduation / / [[Life is Awesome/20's - 40's]] / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Event Note: Starts first company / / [[Life is Awesome/50+]] / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Event Note: IPO goes great! Sells to Google 8 months later / / [[Life is Awesome/Retirement]] / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Event Note: 4th IPO somehow not as satisfying / / [[Life is Awesome/Grandkids]] / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Light Blue Bar (Apathetic Student): / Event Note: Grandkids / / Light Blue Bar (Apathetic Student): / / [[Life is pretty ok, thanks/college]] / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Light Blue Bar (Apathetic Student): / Event Note: Lost 2nd controller to new video game system / / [[Life is pretty ok, thanks/20's - 40's]] / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Light Blue Bar (Apathetic Student): / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Event Note: Springs for really nice chrome wheels on 1st car / / [[Life is pretty ok, thanks/50+]] / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Light Blue Bar (Apathetic Student): / Event Note: Now able to bore their adult kids with stories of that dang game / / [[Life is pretty ok, thanks/retirement]] / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Light Blue Bar (Apathetic Student): / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Event Note: Finally able to retire from middling job / / [[Oh man, I hate this/high school]] / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Event Note: Buh. Just buh. / / [[Oh man, I hate this/college]] / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Event Note: Ever-so-slight improvement on high school / / [[Oh man, I hate this/20's - 40's]] / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Event Note: Thinking fondly of West Lake game as new job starts / / [[Key]] / Green Bar (Captain of Football Team or Cheer Squad): / Light Blue Bar (Apathetic Student): / Red Bar (Huge, Huge Nerd): / Text: KEY:
/ Captain of football team or cheer squad =
/ Apathetic student =
/ Huge, huge nerd = http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090614.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 15 / 2009 | Pug: / ARTHUR: For th elove of Pete, what is that smell? Is that your breath? / / Pug: / ARTHUR: HO NELLY. That IS your breath. What have you been eating--death itself?? It's like eggs pickled in martinis. / / ARTHUR: (OS) Family update: our dog smells like the business end of Dean Martin / GRAMP: TOO DESCRIPTIVE http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090615.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 16 / 2009 | NARRATOR: WHY do we need whiteners for coffee drinkers? ...Any dentist will tell you that drinking coffee through a straw could keep your teeth from staining. So why don't people just use a dang straw? / / Coffee Cup: / straw: / ARTHUR: ...You look like a dip. / GRAMP: I FEEL like a dip. / / Coffee Cup: / straw: / NARRATOR: And THAT'S why whiteners exist. A STRAW IN COFFEE: ...might as well be drivin' a clown car. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090616.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 17 / 2009 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: COFFEE ADDICTS: / NARRATOR: ...are you concerned You'll get yellow, coffee-stained teeth?
/ You have two choices: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: You could (A) Give up coffee / GRAMP: hrm / / [[nonspecific (white background) (shadow)]] / NARRATOR: or (B) Have your teeth surgically removed and replaced with some sort of rubber teeth that can't be stained. / GRAMP: ooh! Option B please! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090617.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 18 / 2009 | [[nonspecific (white background) (Field Guide: Varying Coffeecup Styles (and what they mean), Field Guide: Varying Coffeecup Styles (and what they mean))]] / Coffee cups: / Sugar: / NARRATOR: Field Guide: Varying coffeecup styles (and what they mean)
/ Standard cup o' joe
/ (You are a sensible, no-nonsense coffee drinker)
/ Espresso
/ (You recognize good things come in small packages)
/ Latte
/ (You have a taste for the finer things in life)
/ Drive 'n Go's "Thirsty-Two Ouncer" jug
/ (You enjoy sucking the marrow out of life)
/ (...all while sweating like a fat guy on stairs)
/ (Also: your bladder truly despises you. Just FYI) http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090618.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 19 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Pencil: / Sheet of paper: / Lamp: / GRAMP: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: No, no, no... That wouldn't work. A cat's not water soluble. / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Pencil: / Sheet of paper: / Lamp: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: / FLACO: / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Laundry basket: / Washing Machine: / GRAMP: I both do and don't want to hear the beginning of that conversation. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090619.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 20 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Chair: / Newspaper: / ARTHUR: Everyone has their own life-strategy. Their own plan to get through life. Mine is simple: BE AWESOME. / GRAMP: hmm / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Chair: / Newspaper: / ARTHUR: Oh, I hear ya. I hear what you're saying: "Lots of people TRY to be awesome, but just end up looking dorky." Not me, my friend. / GRAMP: hmm / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Chair: / Newspaper: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Chair: / Newspaper: / ARTHUR: Soooooo AWESOMMM / GRAMP: hmm http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090620.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 21 / 2009 | [[Green Background]] / GRAMP: / / [[Green Background]] / Mug: / coffee pot: / GRAMP: / / [[Green Background]] / Mug: / GRAMP: / / [[Yellow Background]] / Mug: / GRAMP: / / [[Yellow Background]] / Mug: / GRAMP: / / [[Yellow Background]] / Mug: / GRAMP: / / [[Green Background]] / Mug: / GRAMP: / / [[Green Background]] / Mug: / GRAMP: / / [[Green Background]] / GRAMP: BUH. / ARTHUR: the Cirrr-cle of Liiiiife... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090621.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 22 / 2009 | [[Ancient mountain]] / Woolly Mammoth: / Man (with a beard): / NARRATOR: IN BYGONE DAYS, YOU USED TO BE ABLE TO WRASSLE A MAMMOTH / / [[Grassland]] / spear: / Man (Hunting): / Buffalo: / NARRATOR: OR BRING DOWN A BUFFALO USING A SPEAR YOU YOURSELF MADE / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Chair: / Pocket knife: / apple: / NARRATOR: BUT NOWADAYS, THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO LOOK TOUGH. YOU GOTTA DO THAT THING WHERE YOU SLICE AN APPLE WITH A POCKET KNIFE, AND EAT THE SLICE RIGHT OFF THE BLADE. / ARTHUR: WELL HELLLLLLO, TOUGHIE McTOUGHERTON! / GRAMP: Thasssright. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090622.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 23 / 2009 | [[THE POND (in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / / [[THE POND (in pond, in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / / [[THE POND (in pond, in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / / [[THE POND (in pond, in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / (SOUND FX): ahurrrrrr / / [[THE POND (in pond, in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / (SOUND FX): FOOMP! / / [[THE POND (in pond, in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / / [[THE POND (in pond, in pond)]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090623.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 24 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / Pan: / Stove: / NARRATOR: Even high-quality, non-stick pans get burnt-on stains, eventually. / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / Pan: / Stove: / NARRATOR: And every time you cook, that spot of grime gets larger and larger. In the cook ware industry, this is known as "The Grime-Ening." / / [[nonspecific (white background) (Narration Panel)]] / NARRATOR: Coincidentally, soon to be a movie from M. Night Shyamalan / THE GRIME-ENING / (...Couldn't be Worse Than the Last Few) http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090624.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 25 / 2009 | [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Olaf: I have trod many whale-roads with you, and shed much battle-sweat... But dang it if your beard doesn't freak me the heck out. / Viking: Thanks, Olaf. Tell me how you feel why don't you. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Amish man: Hey Ezekiel! Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening. (...This be not a joke thou can use, Jebediah.) / NARRATOR: An Amish Farm: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Man (German): Vot ist dis mit no crazy face hair? / Child (German): Ya, Vot ist all dis?? / NARRATOR: The Kaiser's Germany / / NARRATOR: Do you grow a terrible beard? It's not a big deal in modern life. But in some cultures, a beard was super necessary. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090625.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 26 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: If you could have JUST ONE super-power, which would you pick? / GRAMP: mm? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: WAIT. You even awake? / GRAMP: mm / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: I said "if you could have just one super-power, which would you pick? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: mmm I would wish for more wishes / ARTHUR: NOT WHAT I ASKED http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090626.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 27 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Magazine: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: It's funny to me that people always pick "flight" as their super-power. / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Magazine: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Magazine: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: Well, maybe not "funny" so much as "oh, you mean that everyday thing I've been doin' since I was born? / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Magazine: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / Magazine: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: Ooo, ha-BURNNN... http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090627.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 28 / 2009 | [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Magazine: / Chair: / ARTHUR: Everybody picks super-strength or flight when they choose a super-power. But that's a huge mistake. / GRAMP: How is that a mistake? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: Because! Eventually somebody gonna notice you flyin' around or lifting a car. As soon as the word gets out, the C.I.A. is gonna press-gang you into working for them. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: They'd be all like "we need you to pants this dictator" or "we need you to steal this super-weapon" or whatever. And if you don't do it, they kidnap your cat or something. / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Magazine: / Chair: / GRAMP: You are the only person in the world afraid of a super-power, for fear of the C.I.A. / ARTHUR: Oh, they'll get ya. / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Chair: / Magazine: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: / / [[THE HOUSE (Living room)]] / Magazine: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: It's why I'd pick invisibility. C.I.A. ain't snaggin' what they ain't seein'.
/ It's the thinkin man's superpower. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090628.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 29 / 2009 | [[Meadow]] / ARTHUR: Seriously, you'd pick Aquaman? The dude's power is to command FISH. It's the lamest super power ever. / FLACO: squee squee squee squee / / [[Meadow]] / ARTHUR: / / [[Meadow]] / (SOUND FX): eeee MAUGH eeee MAUGH eeee MAUGH / giant squid: Just... 800.... more miles... to go... / whale: I hate you so much, Aquaman. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090629.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from June / 30 / 2009 | [[nonspecific (white background) ((top) Friends, it's time for on of our very special http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090630.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 01 / 2009 | [[Bathroom (Doorway)]] / Shower cap: / Towel: / ARTHUR: Seriously? There's not ONE superhero you'd want to be? / GRAMP: Which is the one who doesn't wear spandex pants? / / [[Bathroom (Doorway)]] / Shower cap: / Towel: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: / / [[Bathroom (Door closing)]] / Shower cap: / Towel: / ARTHUR: Ummmm / GRAMP: ... thought so http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090701.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 02 / 2009 | [[Bathroom]] / ARTHUR: Hey, I thought of a superhero who doesn't wear spandex. / GRAMP: Who? / / [[Bathroom]] / ARTHUR: THE HULK! When Bruce Banner explodes in size, his clothes are always torn to shreds. Sh he's usually wearing whatever's left in the... crotchal region. / / [[Bathroom]] / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: / / [[Bathroom]] / ARTHUR: Is "Crotchal Region" a word? / GRAMP: God I hope not. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090702.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 03 / 2009 | [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: If I was king of the world, you know what I'd do? I'd force everyone to say "maters" instead of "tomatoes" / ARTHUR: ...what? Why? / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: BECAUSE! It makes it impossible to be an upper-class jerk. It would put everyone on the same level. / ARTHUR: I don't see what you mean. / / [[Restaurant]] / Waiter: A fine choice, sir: The venison served in a pinot grigio reduction... served with the garlic-infused arugula salad. ...and will the gentleman be having any maters this evening? / Man (Generic): Ooooo, yes! The gentleman will DEFINITELY be having some maters. ...please maters the gentleman up! http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090703.html |
| Sheldon Comics comic strip from July / 04 / 2009 | [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Bratwurst: / Grill: / FLACO: / NARRATOR: There are many ways to celebrate the Fourth, such as barbecuing with family... / ARTHUR: Yo! Sheldon! Your brat's up! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Chair: / NARRATOR: Or enjoying the fireworks. (Unless you're a dog, in which case you're doing anything but "enjoying") / OSO: Surely these are the end times. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / NARRATOR: But please, please don't be that one dude at the parade that paints the flag on his BELLY. / redneck: WOOOOOO! These colors don't run! / GRAMP: Yes, but everyone else IS. / ARTHUR: It's like you're stabbing my eyes. ...with patriotism. http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/090704.html |
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