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Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 03 / 2009 [[Dinner table]] / Chicken Drumstick: / SHELDON: If you grew up rich; Seperate out the cartilage, arteries, veins, skin etc) / / [[Dinner table]] / Chicken Drumstick: / GRAMP: If you grew up poor; Plow right on in to the awesomeness. (Stopping only if you hit soemthing truly nasty)
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 04 / 2009 [[Inside (non-specific)]] / Coffee Cup: / coffee pot: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: When I first drank coffee in college, I thought it tasted TERRIBLE. ...I drank it solely for the caffeine. / / [[Inside (non-specific) (Flat white background)]] / Coffee Cup: / GRAMP: But over the years, I've really come to like the taste. / / [[Inside (non-specific) (Flat white background)]] / Coffee Cup: / Table: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: And when my doctor tells me to cut down on caffeine, what do I do...? I DRINK DECAF! ...FOR THE TASTE! / / [[Inside (non-specific) (Flat white background)]] / Coffee Cup: / ARTHUR: That's like wanting to take an aspirin solely for the bold, rich aspirin taste. / GRAMP: This is a drink gone wrong.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 05 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Tree: / Nosh: Hey, little friend! You 'wake! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Nosh: You very brave, little friend! You jump between guard's weapon. Thinking to save me, eh? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (Rocks)]] / Nosh: / *: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Nosh: Is brave, but not smart. You have leetle body. Like tiny badger. ... Mine is big. Would not have hurt. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (Rocks)]] / *: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Nosh: Is Ok! No need to talk! I carry you to prison infirmary / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / *: Prison? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / *: / Nosh: Ha ha! Yes! Prison moon. ... You forget? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / Nosh: You take boonk on head, I think. Need rest. / *: Wait. Stop. Why am I in prison? Who are you? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / *: And why do you have that ridiculous accent?? / Nosh: Ha! I run out of cab fare outside Moscow, once. Stuck there six years.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 06 / 2009 [[window]] / Teenage Gramp: / NARRATOR: HOW IT WORKS / NARRATOR: ADOLESCENCE is wishing you could go out every night / / [[Party]] / Streamers: / Collegiate Gramp: / NARRATOR: COLLEGE is realizing you CAN go out every night / / [[THE HOUSE (By the Phone)]] / GRAMP: Dang it, Now i gotta shower and put on pants / NARRATOR: ADULTHOOD is wishing everyone would stop inviting you out, and just let you watch your shows in peace / ARTHUR: Thank the good lord
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 07 / 2009 [[THE POND (almost empty)]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: "Boolean Search String." What an awesome phrase. Sounds so cool. Boolean Search String. Boolean Search String. / / [[THE POND (almost empty)]] / ARTHUR: Try it: "Boolean Search String" / FLACO: squee-ee squee squee / / [[THE POND (almost empty)]] / ARTHUR: Boolean Search String Boolean Search String / FLACO: squee squee squee squee squee squee / / [[THE POND (almost empty)]] / FLACO: / SHELDON: You guys are killin' me with this. / ARTHUR: Try it like a Jamaican radio announcer: BOOO-LEE-ON s'arch 'tring
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 08 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / ARTHUR: Seriously? You can't see it in the could? It's a dude standing on top of a mountain. / FLACO: squee squee squee squee squee / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: What? Are you Kidding? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: wow you're right. From this angel it looks like the dudes fallin' off a stalactite. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: ... this could is messin' with us.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 09 / 2009 [[Grassy Hill]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: HAHA! Check out that cloud! It looks like a fat Karl Marx eatin' pizza / / [[Grassy Hill]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: ha ha HA... you go, fat Karl Marx! You eat that pizza! / / [[Grassy Hill]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / / [[Grassy Hill]] / ARTHUR: HUH. ... I wonder if Marx ever actually ATE a pizza in his life? / / [[Grassy Hill]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: Would pizza places have existed in mid-19th c. Germany and England? / / [[Grassy Hill]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: Surely if he HAD seen a pizza, he would've recognized it as a very proletarian dish, right? / / [[Grassy Hill]] / ARTHUR: / FLACO: / / [[Grassy Hill]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: Man-o-MAN ... this cloud raises some good issues.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 10 / 2009 [[THE POND (almost empty)]] / Water: / ARTHUR: I just realized something: / Fantasy Football is Dungeons and Dragons for guys who'd never willingly play D&D. / SHELDON: ha ha ha... Better yet, it's more like Pokémon: you get your little men, memorize their little stats, and watch them fight their little fights. / / [[THE POND (almost empty)]] / Water: / ARTHUR: Then you dress up in team colors and paint up your "War Belly" / SHELDON: EXACTLY. Same thing as dressin' up as Pikachu or a Klingon. / / / [[THE POND (almost empty)]] / Water: / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Fantasy Football: Just another ring in the Great Chain of Nerdery.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 11 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Viking Helmet: / Football Jersey: / ARTHUR: Let's compare, shall we? / / [[nonspecific (white background) (Narration Panel)]] / Sheet of paper: Fantasy Football VS. Dungeons & Dragons / / [[nonspecific (white background) (Narration Panel)]] / Sheet of paper: | D&D | FF | / 1. Choosing players is half the fun | [check] | [check] | / 2. Unless Greg's friend Barry takes FOREVER | [check] | [check] | / 3. Players sometimes speak in-character | [check] | [check] | / 4. It is more "creative" or "sad" when players speak in-character | creative | kinda sad | / 5. Gameplay is heavily reliant on weapons like "Cool Ranch Doritos" | [check] | [check] | / 6. There's a three-to-one ration of #@[squiggle]*-talking to any actual gameplay | [check] | [check] | / 7. Creates an impenetrable, secret language among 5-6 people | [check] | [check] | / 8. And it takes everything you have not to roll your eyes when you overhear them talking in line at "Subway" | [check] | [check] | / 9. Does it feature gelatinous cubes? | [check] | | / 10. Does it feature gelatinous guts? | [check] | [check] |
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 12 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / The Pilot: My heads all jumbly. I ...do I..? / Do I know you? / Nosh: No. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / The Pilot: But.... your a prisoner? / Nosh: Yes. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / The Pilot: And I'M a prisoner? / Nosh: Yes. / / The Pilot: Do we at least know what we did? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / The Pilot: / Nosh: Our crimes? / Well I know for me. For you who is to say? Perhaps wrong way on one-go street. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / The Pilot: hrm. / Nosh: But is ok. My captain gets me out soon. I take you to come with. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / The Pilot: Wait, WHAT? Your captan?? / Nosh: Oh yes! I am science advisor in Imperial Navy. Is my job to translate tricky sciences talk into the pain Englishes.
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 13 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE (Bathroom)]] / bath pillow: / Bathtub: / Magazine: / GRAMP: ?? / / [[THE HOUSE (Bathroom)]] / bath pillow: / Bathtub: / Magazine: / GRAMP: / (SOUND FX): CRASH / / [[THE HOUSE (Bathroom)]] / Bathtub: / bath pillow: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: It's OK! Nothing broke! It's fine! / / [[THE HOUSE (Bathroom)]] / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: oh wait. / ...a tiny li'l thingy broke / BUT I CAN FIX IT. / / [[THE HOUSE (Bathroom)]] / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: Yep, yep. / Just gonna...use some...super glue, here... / aaaand FIXED! / no worries! / / [[THE HOUSE (Bathroom)]] / bath pillow: / Bathtub: / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE (Bathroom)]] / bath pillow: / Bathtub: / Magazine: / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE (Bathroom)]] / bath pillow: / Bathtub: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: um. / so. / Super-glued your phone to the table.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 14 / 2009 Bowl: / NARRATOR: YOU'VE JUST MADE BROWNIES. AND LICKED THE BOWL CLEAN. / / spoon: / NARRATOR: AND THE SPOON. / / Whisk: / NARRATOR: AND THE OUTSIDE OF THE WHISK. BUT HOW DO YOU GET TO THAT TANTALIZING FINAL BIT ON THE INSIDE? / / Whisk: / NARRATOR: THIS IS WHERE THE TRUE CHOCOHOLICS REVEAL THEMSELVES / NARRATOR: WORKS LIKE SOME WEIRD, PREHENSILE TAIL
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 15 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Whistle: / GRAMP: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Whistle: / GRAMP: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Whistle: / GRAMP: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Whistle: / GRAMP: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Whistle: / GRAMP: aw, thoot. / ARTHUR: Proud moment, my friend, Proud moment.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 16 / 2009 [[Kitchen]] / Brownie: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: You've waited and waited... and now the brownies are done. / / [[Kitchen]] / Brownie: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: You cut into the pan with child like glee: you've been dyin' for this moment. / / [[Kitchen]] / Brownie: / GRAMP: / (SOUND FX): bite / / [[Kitchen]] / Brownie: / Bowl: / NARRATOR: But only then do you realize it: you sorta enjoyed the bowl-goop more / GRAMP: hrm.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 17 / 2009 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Brownie: / ARTHUR: Dude, there is MAGIC in your brownie idea. / GRAMP: What idea? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Brownie: / ARTHUR: Hold on. I gotta make some calls. Gotta get some VC-funding for this. / GRAMP: For WHAT? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Six months later / brownie goop jar: Unca Arthur's What-A-Scoop! Brownie Goop. "Never solidifies" Just admit it: All you really wanted was the batter. Health notice: This goop was made on machines that also process non-goop.
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 18 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Chair: / ARTHUR: Why do you do this to yourself? / GRAMP: Do what to myself? / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Chair: / ARTHUR: every time the home depot catalog comes, you read it over and over again / GRAMP: so? / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Chair: / ARTHUR: So? you already own every tool you need. / GRAMP: NOT THIS ONE. LOOK! Imagine what I could build with that if I only knew what it did!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 19 / 2009 [[Prison Cafeteria]] / The Pilot: C'mon, Noosh. You REALLY tellin' me you're in the Navy? / Nosh: Is pronounced "Nosh." And yes, for many years. / / [[Prison Cafeteria]] / The Pilot: Then how'd you end up in prison? / Nosh: ha ha ha No. Is too long a story. I do not want to waste your time. / / [[Prison Cafeteria]] / The Pilot: We're on a dang PRISON MOON. All we got is time. Just tell me what you did! ...You steal a ship? / / [[Prison Cafeteria]] / Nosh: I... / Apparently I kill Emperor. / The Pilot: Hey-O!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 20 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / garden hose: / swimming pool: / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: Aw, dangit. I got water all over my shirt. / ...be right back. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / swimming pool: / ARTHUR: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / swimming pool: / GRAMP: There: that's better. / ARTHUR: How is that better? That shirt has a pasta stains all over it. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / swimming pool: / GRAMP: Well, sure. But you know how it works for dudes. / ARTHUR: NO. Enlighten me. How does it work for dudes. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: HOW IT WORKS FOR DUDES / A stained-but-dry shirt / TRUMPS / A clean-but-uncomfortably-wet shirt / TRUMPS / Any shirt found in a gym locker* / *Theoretically a "clean an dry" shirt trumps everything, but that shirt doesn't exist in the real world. It's more a platonic ideal of "shirt" for dudes.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 21 / 2009 [[Swimming pool]] / sunglasses: / pool: / SHELDON: / Attorney: Mister Arthur T. Duck? / ARTHUR: Magic, baby. You talkin' to him. / / [[Swimming pool]] / sunglasses: / pool: / SHELDON: / Attorney: Sir, you've been served a court summons. / ARTHUR: whoa whoa whoa. A summons? For what?? / / [[Swimming pool]] / sunglasses: / pool: / Attorney: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: "You are hereby summoned to Her Majesty's High Court in London, to answer the charge of libel from Lord Biggles Chiggles." / / [[Swimming pool]] / sunglasses: / pool: / Attorney: / ARTHUR: habuhhhhh. / SHELDON: Woo-hoo! Road trip!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 22 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / pool: / SHELDON: I don't get it. On what grounds can Lord Biggles Chiggles sue you for libel? You've never even met him, never mind WRITTEN about him. / ARTHUR: Thaaaat's not exactly true. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / pool: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / pool: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / pool: / SHELDON: OH / ARTHUR: ...of dragons! I meant "of dragons"!
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 23 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field)]] / Towel: / SHELDON: Shoot. Now you have a member of the House of Lords suing you for libel. What do we do about it? / ARTHUR: We fire up the blog and tell the whole world what a fat-head he is. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field)]] / Towel: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: NO! You can't do that! British libel laws are the worst! A fat-head can sue you for callin' him a fat-head even when it's demonstrable in court that he's a total and complete fat-head...even to OTHER fat-heads! / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (field)]] / Towel: / ARTHUR: What? No way. Then how do they call out fat-heads in Britain? / SHELDON: The nation suffers in silence.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 24 / 2009 [[Living Room]] / Chair: / Book: / SHELDON: GRAMP, CAN I GO TO BRITAIN FOR A FEW WEEKS? ARTHUR'S BEING SUED BY A DUDE IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS / GRAMP: oh for heaven's sake. / / [[Living Room]] / GRAMP: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CAUSE TROUBLE CONSTANTLY?? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SIT THERE AND BE A NORMAL DANG DUCK? / ARTHUR: NO CAN DO, BROTHER. I CAN'T KEEP ALL THIS AWESOMENESS TO MYSELF. I GOTTA GET OUT THERE AND SHARE SOME ARTHUR WITH THE WORLD. ...SHARE SOME VITAMIN A. / / [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: / GRAMP: / / [[Living Room]] / ARTHUR: ..."A" MEANING ARTHUR. / GRAMP: JUST BE NORMAL
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 25 / 2009 [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: BEHOLD! I've assembled all 49 of my "Sheldonsoft" corporate lawyers...And we're gonna WIN that English lawsuit for you. / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: / Lawyers: / lawyer: Woo hoo / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / ARTHUR: Ok, yeah, great...But how many of you know ENGLISH law?? / / [[Sheldonsoft]] / SHELDON: / Lawyers: / lawyer: Um... / lawyer: I visited North London, once. / ARTHUR: GREAT.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 26 / 2009 [[Prison]] / Pickles: / Alien: / Nosh: So they put ME in prison, even though I am not on same planet when emperor is killed. / The Pilot: Whoa whoa whoa...HOLD UP. Are you eating pickles? Where you gettin' pickles? / / [[Prison]] / Pickles: / Nosh: Oh, I take from mess hall. I hide them under shirt. / The Pilot: I've SEEN. ...You've eaten like twelve. / / [[Prison]] / Pickles: / Nosh: They are a delight! You want to try? / The Pilot: No No No No No Go back to the story. / / [[Prison]] / Pickles: / Nosh: Oh, OK. SO! This is emperor. Big pickle in galaxy. / / [[Prison]] / Pickles: / Nosh: But along comes little NEPHEW pickle. doo dee doo. He is impatient. He wants to be big pickle in galaxy, NOW. To rule pickle jar! / The Pilot: CAN WE DO THIS WITHOUT THE DANG PICKLES??
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 27 / 2009 [[THE POND]] / Ball: / SHELDON: / DANTE: It's weird. / / [[THE POND]] / Ball: / DANTE: ...You take a poll of anyone alive today, and half the people would say its the high point of civilization, and half would say we're sliding into the abyss. ...and half would say we're just muddling through. / SHELDON: ...Can't have three halves. / / [[THE POND]] / Ball: / SHELDON: / DANTE: But that's true of every point in history. Some people think it's the absolute peak, some think it's the end times. / / [[THE POND]] / Ball: / SHELDON: "Opinions: they're subjective" / DANTE: Or maybe not!
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 28 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / SHELDON: Um.......No. We can't take my corporate jet to England. It's out of / commission. / ARTHUR: WHAT? / It's brand new! / How can that be?? / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: I asked my engineers to make one tiny modification, and... it didn't / work out. / / [[airport]] / Star Wars X-wings: / Employee: Sir, this isn't aerodynamic. / SHELDON: WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR??
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 29 / 2009 [[THE HOUSE]] / Laptop: / GRAMP: There! Booked our flight to London! / ARTHUR: Did you make sure to get us a flight with video games in the seats? / please / please / please / please / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: YES, I did. / ARTHUR: 'Cause I can't emphasize this enough: IT'S A NINE-HOUR FLIGHT. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Laptop: / GRAMP: God forbid we TALK to one another. / ARTHUR: oh, we have dodged a BULLET, my friend.
Sheldon Comics comic strip from September / 30 / 2009 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / [[Airplane]] / [[airport]] / airline stewardess: Folks, we're gonna be waiing here on the tarmac for a while, so let me give you a rundown of how things are gonna go. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Microphone: / airline stewardess: Over the next 20 minutes, you'll hear the engines really, really rev up, and then shut off completely. / That in turn will knock out our cabin electricity leaving us in an eerie darkness. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Microphone: / airline stewardess: From time to time, one of us will begin making an announcement, only to cut off suddenly after five words. / ...we won't explain why / / [[nonspecific (black background)]] / airline stewardess: Also, the air will stop circulating for no clear reason, adding to the general sense of foreboding that will have overtaken you by that point. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / highbacked seat: / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Gotta give 'em credit for being honest / airline stewardess: We thank you for flying the enexplicable skies
Sheldon Comics comic strip from October / 01 / 2009 [[Sky]] / Airplane: / NARRATOR: On a plane flight, there are some activities where EVERYONE LOSES. / / [[Airplane]] / seatbelt: / Pillow: / FLACO: / NARRATOR: For example: standing up to get a bag, mid-flight. There are no winners here. No winners. / GRAMP: Here we go... / NARRATOR: click / / [[Airplane]] / overhead compartment: / GRAMP: I'M SO SORRY / ARTHUR: aaa! AAA!
Sheldon Comics comic strip from October / 02 / 2009 [[Airplane]] / GRAMP: Ma'am? Is it possible to get peanuts instead of pretzels? / flight attendent: No way. We don't go NEAR peanuts any more. / / [[Airplane]] / Chart: / flight attendent: At some point in the past five years, 99.999% of the human race became deathly allergic to peanuts. Science can't figure it out: peanuts are suddenly the deadliest substance in the world. / / [[Airplane]] / flight attendent: It's gotten so bad, that some people go into anaphylactic shock just HEARING "peanut". / Voice: HURKK / Voice: Robert, NO! Block out their conversation! / Voice: Here! Use my "Celine Dion"
 

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