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Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 02 / 2010 SHELDON: FELLOW SHELDONSOFT EMPLOYEES! TODAY I'M PROPOSING A NEW KIND OF LOGIC SYSTEM FOR COMPUTING / / SHELDON: WE ALREADY HAVE BINARY, REPRESENTING "TRUE" AND "FALSE".... AND TRINARY, REPRESENTING "TRUE," "FALSE" AND "NEUTRAL." / / Flipchart: 1. TRUE / 2. FALSE / 3. NEUTRAL / 4. "MEH" / 5. MY PANTS ARE BUNCHING / SHELDON: BUT IF WE ARE TO BUILD A COMPUTER THAT CAN TRULY MIMIC HUMAN THOUGHT, WE NEED A 5-PART SYSTEM THAT CAPTURES THE SUBTLETIES OF HUMAN LOGIC.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100302.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 03 / 2010 [[Shower (on)]] / Soap: / Water: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Are you a morning person? A Simple Test / Have you ever considered bringing a cup of coffee into the shower with you? / / [[Shower (on)]] / Coffee Cup: / Shower Head: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Do you in fact bring a cup in there every day? / / [[Shower (on)]] / Coffee Cup: / Coffee maker: / Shower Head: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Have you set up a coffee machine in there, consequences be damned? / coffee maker: zzt! zzt!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100303.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 04 / 2010 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: / NARRATOR: Inspiration / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: / NARRATOR: Perspiration / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: / NARRATOR: Frustration / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / NARRATOR: Vegetation / DANTE: BUHHH
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100304.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 05 / 2010 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Whattsa matter? / ARTHUR: Oso. He swallowed a squeek toy. / OSO: squeek squeek squeek / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: Oh no! What do we do? / ARTHUR: We call a vet is what we do. We gotta help him! / OSO: squeek squeek / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: ...Oh. WAIT. It may be resolving itself. / OSO: squeek squeek squeek
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100305.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 06 / 2010 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Captain Taneel: To what do I owe the pleasure, your highness? / Emperor Cruz: I would speak with you in person, Captain. RIGHT NOW. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Captain Taneel: Don't suppose I have a choice in that. / Emperor Cruz: Not really, no. I'll see you in 15 minutes in my throne room. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Captain Taneel: Aren't you forgetting something? I can't get to your throne if I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. / Emperor Cruz: Oh, you'll find me. I'm in the same orbital parking lot you are / / [[orbital parking lot]] / Machito: / sign: E-9 / Emperor Cruz: Your ship is parked in E-9 I see. / / [[orbital parking lot]] / Machito: / La Invencible: / Emperor Cruz: ...And I'm in E-10.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100306.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 07 / 2010 [[nonspecific (white background) (Narration Panel)]] / NARRATOR: Spring is just around the corner, so today we present this public service: How to Know Exactly When to Pick Your Fruit. / / [[Next to Fruit Tree]] / Tree: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Nope! Not quite ripe yet. / / [[Next to Fruit Tree]] / Tree: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Needs a smidge more time. / / [[Next to Fruit Tree]] / Tree: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Still not ready. / / [[Next to Fruit Tree]] / Tree: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Nope / / [[Next to Fruit Tree]] / Tree: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: OOOP!They ripened two seconds ago! / / [[Next to Fruit Tree]] / Tree: / Small Animals: / GRAMP: / / [[Next to Fruit Tree]] / Small Animals: / GRAMP: / NARRATOR: Too slow, satchmo.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100307.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 08 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Wow. Did you know a duck's quack doesn't echo? / ARTHUR: Uggghh. That is so untrue it hurts to hear you say it. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: But... it says it right here. / ARTHUR: Where? In an e-mail forwarded to you by your great aunt Gertie? Ducks' quacks echo. ...We're not x-men. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / ARTHUR: That'd be a pretty weak-sauce x-men power, in any case. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Storm: / Nightcrawler: / Megaduck: / Professor Xavier: Storm! Create a fog to hide us! Nightcrawler! Teleport behind their battle lines! And Megaduck! Quack all you want... it won't echo in here. According to an e-mail I once got from a dude.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100308.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 09 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE]] / [[Kitchen]] / Oven mittens: / Stove: / ARTHUR: Oooo! Baking cookies, eh? / GRAMP: Sure am. / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / knife: / Counter: / cookie sheet: / GRAMP: / ARTHUR: Hey. Wait a minute. You ain't baking You're just cooking up chunks of extruded cookie log. I don't think pre-made stumps of cookie matter qualify as "baking" / / [[THE HOUSE (Kitchen)]] / cookie sheet: / GRAMP: So you don't want any? / ARTHUR: WHOA WHOA WHOA whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100309.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 10 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE]] / NARRATOR: The Life-Cycle of the Store-Bought Cookie Dough Log / / [[THE HOUSE]] / cookie dough log: / NARRATOR: Eating it straight with a spoon. (check) Awesome. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / cookie sheet: / NARRATOR: Eating them while they're still hot out of the oven. (check) Awesome. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Cookies: / NARRATOR: Eating them FIVE SECONDS after they've cooled off. (check) Like biting into a 10-day old buffalo patty.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100310.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 11 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Pillow: / NARRATOR: You are about to witness it. / OSO: zzZzZ / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Pillow: / OSO: / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Pillow: / OSO: / NARRATOR: DING! Level-30 Pugness! / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / Pillow: / OSO: / NARRATOR: oh SNAP! Ding AGAIN! Level-31!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100311.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 12 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / GRAMP: I am so mad at you! How dare you piddle on my pillow! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / GRAMP: / / [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / GRAMP: Fine. FINE! I'll just buy a new one. Pfft. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / OSO: / ARTHUR: ....teach me, sensei.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100312.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 13 / 2010 [[Space (Outside view of La Invencible)]] / Spaceship: / NARRATOR: A short shuttle ride later... / Emperor Cruz: Welcome aboard LA INVENCIBLE, Captain. If you'll follow my holograms, they'll guide you to me. / / [[La Invincible]] / Captain Taneel: / Emperor Cruz: Do not fear for your stay here. I can assure you you're safe. / / [[La Invincible]] / Captain Taneel: / Emperor Cruz: Oh I am AWARE of my reputation: that I'm power-hungry and half-mad, a LARGER-THAN-LIFE terror who LOOMS over the Galaxy like some GIGANTIC evil. / / [[La Invincible]] / Captain Taneel: / Emperor Cruz: But I think you'll find that all those rumors... / / [[La Invincible]] / Captain Taneel: (upon meeting the real, very short emperor) / ...are false advertising? / Emperor Cruz: ...pardon?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100313.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 14 / 2010 [[THE POND (in pond)]] / Ball: / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: Check this out... / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / Ball: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / Ball: / SHELDON: / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / Ball: / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: boop! / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / Ball: / ARTHUR: / SHELDON: / / [[THE POND (in pond)]] / Ball: / ARTHUR: ...In the event of a water landing, my butt can be used as a floatation device. / SHELDON: Good to know.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100314.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 15 / 2010 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / SHELDON: / ARTHUR: That's right. Got a letter. / DANTE: What? / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: People writin' to me. Usin' paper. Not a big deal. Got a letter. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: Pretty important person. To be gettin' a letter. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / DANTE: It's just a dang- / SHELDON: Let him have this. / ARTHUR: In the maaaail
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100315.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 16 / 2010 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / headphones: / SHELDON: This song is amazing! No song has ever been so amazing! Amazing! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / headphones: / SHELDON: I shall listen to this song again and again and again... / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / headphones: / NARRATOR: Until one week later... / SHELDON: hrm. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / headphones: / NARRATOR: Which leads to... / SHELDON: I have never despised a song more. / / [[nonspecific (white background) (Narration Panel)]] / NARRATOR: But then years pass! / / [[nonspecific (white background) (Narration Panel)]] / NARRATOR: ...and one fateful day, you stumble on the file again! And with great flair, you click on it! / / [[nonspecific (white background) (Narration Panel, no borders)]] / NARRATOR: ...aaaaand delete it.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100316.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 17 / 2010 [[Kitchen (near Counter)]] / Honey: / cookie sheet: / apron: / ARTHUR: How old is this honey? It looks like it went bad. / GRAMP: Honey doesn't go bad. Just eat it. / / [[Kitchen (near Counter)]] / Honey: / cookie sheet: / apron: / ARTHUR: What do you mean it doesn't go bad? Of course it goes bad. Everything goes bad. / GRAMP: If it's kept right, honey will last and last. Just eat it. / / [[Kitchen]] / Honey: / ARTHUR: / / [[Kitchen]] / Honey: / ARTHUR: ... It says "Buy war bonds" on the label. / GRAMP: Just eat it
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100317.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 18 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE (at the table)]] / [[Table]] / mall: / OSO: / NARRATOR: It;s here! The National census! / / [[THE HOUSE (at the table)]] / [[Table]] / mall: / OSO: / FLACO: / NARRATOR: The census only happens once a decade, but it determines billions in federal funding ...so it's vitally important you fill it out. / / [[THE HOUSE (at the table)]] / mall: / FLACO: / OSO: / NARRATOR: ....It's also vitally important you control WHO in your house fills it out. / ARTHUR: SAAAAAY.... / / [[Census Office]] / [[office]] / mall: / Computer: / office cubicle: / Census Agent: / NARRATOR_: Or else this is the result at the ensus office.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100318.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 19 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / Book: / GRAMP: Can I help you? / Census Agent: I'm with the U.S. Census. / / [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / Book: / Census Agent: / GRAMP: Oh, hi! How can I help you? / NARRATOR: FWIP! / / [[THE HOUSE (front door)]] / Book: / GRAMP: / Census Agent: / / [[THE HOUSE (backyard)]] / pool: / sunglasses: / snorkel: / FLACO: / OSO: / GRAMP: MIGHT I SPEAK WITH YOU GENTS AT THE FRONT DOOR? / ARTHUR: ......'Sup?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100319.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 20 / 2010 [[La Invincible]] / Emperor Cruz: You and I have a shared opportunity, Captain. / Captain Taneel: An opportunity? / / [[La Invincible]] / Emperor Cruz: Indeed! To set things right! ...I have a war that's going badly, and YOU have a jail sentence that needs commuting. / Captain Taneel: How is it that YOU kill your uncle, and I end up with the jail sentence for it? / / [[La Invincible]] / Emperor Cruz: YOU have a jail sentence because YOUR VEETAN killed the emperor. / ...according to every official record on every planet you'll ever land on. / Ever / Captain Taneel: Lovely. / / [[La Invincible]] / Emperor Cruz: But now! Now we have a chance to put all that RIGHT! To fix your sentence, and fix my war. / Captain Taneel: And what do you need for that to happen? / / [[La Invincible]] / Captain Taneel: / Emperor Cruz: Just your little pilot, my dear Captain. Or rather, 10,439 pilots EXACTLY LIKE HIM.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100320.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 21 / 2010 NARRATOR: A Human Life, as Measured by Paper Towel Usage / Graph: Y-Plane: Not So Many -- Uses a LOT of paper towels. / X-Plane: (# of years old) 10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80 / 1. Mastery of the spoon at year two! Paper towel usage drops dramatically / 2.Occasional spikes for birthday parties. / 3.The college years: paper towels are used as "plates," napkins, counter wipes, toilet paper...And even as a bath-towel substitute. / 4.Slowly, the grime of college life washes away. / 5."We're 33, now! Can we get some normal *&@# wash cloths like real adults?? / 6.Good Lord, Margaret!....You see what Wal-Mart is charging for wash cloths?? WE'RE GOIN' BACK TO PAPER TOWELS.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100321.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 22 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE]] / Thermostat: / GRAMP: What the…? Who put the thermostat up to 84°?? It's a sauna in here! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / GRAMP: Guys? Hello? Anyone home? …guys? / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Thermostat: / GRAMP: You can not do this! The bill will be huge! And no one's even home! It's goin' back down! / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Thermostat: / FLACO: / / [[THE HOUSE]] / Thermostat: / FLACO: / (SOUND FX): crank crank crank crank crank crank
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100322.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 23 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE (by hallway door)]] / Thermostat: / GRAMP: I know it's you, lizard! I know you're turning heat up the heat! / / [[THE HOUSE (by hallway door)]] / Thermostat: / GRAMP: I'm turning it back down! DO YOU HEAR ME?? I don't care where you're hiding: you're not turning itb back up! / / [[THE HOUSE (by hallway door)]] / Thermostat: / GRAMP: / FLACO: / / [[THE HOUSE (by hallway door)]] / Thermostat: / GRAMP: / FLACO:
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100323.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 24 / 2010 [[nonspecific (white background)]] / FLACO: / GRAMP: No! No more! You're not turning up the heat! / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Thermostat: / FLACO: / GRAMP: You're not sneaking around me... / You're not going above me... / You're not crawlin' any walls... / You're not turning up the dang heat. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Thermostat: / FLACO: / GRAMP: / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / Thermostat: / FLACO: thiwip! / thwip thwip thwip / GRAMP: Aigh! No!
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100324.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 25 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: TAKE A KNEE, SON. WE NEED TO TALK. ...GRAMP SAYS YOU BEEN CRANKIN' UP THE HEATER ALL DAY. / / [[THE HOUSE (generic room)]] / FLACO: / ARTHUR: LISTEN, I GET IT: WE ALL WANT TO BE COZY. ...BUT YOU'RE GOING ABOUT IT ALL WRONG. / / [[nonspecific (white background)]] / ARTHUR: IF YOU CRANK UP THE HEAT, YOU'RE GONNA GET YELLED AT EVERY TIME. YOU GOTTA LEARN FROM YOUR POP, AND GO TO NATURE'S RADIATOR. / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / GRAMP: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: THASSIT. THEYA-GO.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100325.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 26 / 2010 [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: So it's agreed! Even though we all enjoy a warm house, We won't crank up the heat. / / [[THE HOUSE]] / OSO: / FLACO: / ARTHUR: Instead, we'll take turns sittin' on Gramps noggin. / / [[THE HOUSE (a chair in the corner)]] / OSO: / FLACO: / GRAMP: "TAKE TURNS"??? / ARTHUR: Family meetings don't count.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100326.html
 
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 27 / 2010 [[Space (Outside view of La Invencible)]] / Spaceship: / Captain Taneel: How do you even KNOW about my pilot? / Emperor Cruz: Captain, La Familia controls every computer on every ship in "La grande y felicissima Armada" / / [[La Invincible]] / Emperor Cruz: As soon as I knew my uncle's... killer... was on board the Machito, I began monitoring you're every move. / To personally ensure your conspiracy was brought to justice. / Captain Taneel: Oh stop the charade. You were gonna kill us. / / [[La Invincible]] / Emperor Cruz: But my dear! That little pilot of yours was an unexpected miracle! / We have never seen anything like him. He single-handedly destroyed a Continuum ship! / Think of what we could do with a fleet of little hims! / / [[La Invincible]] / Emperor Cruz: Disregard your feelings for ME, and think of the human race! / We're no longer skirmishing with the Continuum. They're suddenly out to destroy us. AND THEY CAN. / ...We need a way to stop them. / / [[La Invincible]] / Captain Taneel: Could we sue for peace? / Emperor Cruz: "Sue" for peace...? Would they... accept the court summons?
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100327.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 28 / 2010 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.) (park)]] / NARRATOR: Every time you take your dog out, you have the same thought / GRAMP: C'mon, already! Just pick a tree! What isthere to be picky about? / OSO: snif snif snif snif snif snif snif snif snif / / [[Public Bathroom]] / sink: / NARRATOR: But if you're honest with yourself, you do it, too. / GRAMP: No no no maybe no Lemme check that first stall, again.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100328.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 29 / 2010 [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Oh man I am having the worst day. / SHELDON: Sounds like you need to bring the thoonk. / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / DANTE: Yeah…. yeah. A good thoonk would cure what ails me. / SHELDON: Ain't nobody can fight the joy of a good thoonk. / ARTHUR: What are you guys talking about? / / [[OUTSIDE (Generic: forest, trees, etc.)]] / rock: / DANTE: But for a really good thoonk, I need to find a- / SHELDON: Gotcha covered. / ARTHUR: What are you talkin about / / [[THE POND]] / rock: / DANTE: / (SOUND FX): Thoonk
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100329.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 30 / 2010 [[THE POND (Standin on shore)]] / rock: / DANTE: This is like nature's wonder drug. / / SHELDON: If it is, then I'm uppin' my dosage. / / [[THE POND (Standin on shore)]] / rock: / DANTE: / SHELDON: Ha!... side effects may include getting soaked. / / [[THE POND (Standin on shore)]] / Lable: Thonk (tm) - 25mg - (Splashiahexaprene Acqua Vitae - CL) Ask your doctor if gettin' soaked is right for you.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100330.html
Sheldon Comics comic strip from March / 31 / 2010 [[THE POND (Standing on a rock)]] / rock: THOONK / DANTE: ha ha ha ha! / SHELDON: It's such a shame that modern life forces most folks to live in cities. / Nobody has ponds around....nobody gets to thoonk anymore. / / [[THE POND]] / SHELDON: We need a way to get nature back to the masses. / / [[THE POND]] / iPhone: / SHELDON: Aaaand that's why I invented THIS! / ... an iPhone app! / (SOUND FX): thoonk! thoonk! / / [[THE POND (Standing on a rock)]] / iPhone: / SHELDON: / DANTE: Wow. / / [[THE POND (Standing on a rock)]] / iPhone: / SHELDON: / DANTE: ...Can I see that? / / [[THE POND (Standing on a rock)]] / iPhone: / DANTE: / SHELDON: HEY! / (SOUND FX): THOONK.
http://sheldoncomics.com/archive/100331.html
 

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