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| Philippe in the Blackness | {{The entire strip is shown in reverse color i.e. white on black}} / [[Philippe is in darkness, terrified, and whipping his head back and forth in a vain attempt to discern his surroundings.]]
/ Philippe: Can you please please PLEASE turn the lights on?! I'm scared of the dark! / [[Two disturbing figures... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04132006 |
| Friday Facts - Ray Came Over | The Phillippe Times. Vol 9 No. 3
/ A computer is a box where decisions are made
/ Friday Facts!
/ by Philippe, editor in chief!
/ [[Picture of Philippe looking worried]]
/ Caption: I saw a rodent
/ DID YOU KNOW...
/ According to Roast Beef, bad breath is caused when "chemicals in your mouth just let it all... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04132007 |
| Peter, Paul, and Mary | [[Téodor is sitting down with his eyes closed, listening to Puff the Magic Dragon on a radio/cassette player]]
/ Radio: - PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA - / Radio: - AND FROLICKED IN THE AUTUMN MIST - / Radio: - IN A LAND CALLED HONAH LEE! - / [[Lyle enters]
/ Lyle: Ahhh... the story of a... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04132009 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04132012">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04132012 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - April 14, 2003 | Ray: Check it out, Téodor! I bought some old-fashioned porno on eBay! Ain't it neat? / Téodor: This is an original daguerreotype, Ray! How much did you pay for it?!
/ Ray: Like $5.99! I was the only bidder! / Téodor: We've got to get this on Antiques Roadshow! This is incredible! / {{SOON}}
/ Appraiser:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04142003 |
| Achewood - April 14, 2003 | Ray: Check it out, Téodor! I bought some old-fashioned porno on eBay! Ain't it neat? / Téodor: This is an original daguerreotype, Ray! How much did you pay for it?!
/ Ray: Like $5.99! I was the only bidder! / Téodor: We've got to get this on Antiques Roadshow! This is incredible! / {{SOON}}
/ Appraiser:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04142003 |
| Achewood - April 14, 2004 | [[ On the street in Berlin, Ray is found on a typewriter typing his novel ideas in his newspaper suit]] / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04142004 |
| Achewood - April 14, 2004 | [[ On the street in Berlin, Ray is found on a typewriter typing his novel ideas in his newspaper suit]] / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04142004 |
| Achewood - April 14, 2005 | [[While Ray enjoys a cocktail, he speaks on the telephone to Little Nephew, who is impersonating a drug dealer called Japan Man]] / Ray: Heyo! Ray Smuckles here! Who's callin'? / Little Nephew: This Japan Man. I see you not stop you joint company.
/ Little Nephew: You make big mistake, Ray Smuckel. / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04142005 |
| Forgot to tuck in Philippe | [[Teodor is standing behind Ray, who is sitting on the couch.]]
/ Teodor: Dude, what time is it? / Ray: It's five AM, chochacho! You ready to gruzzle down some cheese omelettes, or you want to watch Braveheart again first? / Teodor: Oh, crap. I was supposed to tuck Philippe in tonight. I'm the only... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04142006 |
| Forgot to tuck in Philippe - April 14, 2006 | [[Teodor is standing behind Ray, who is sitting on the couch.]]
/ Teodor: Dude, what time is it? / Ray: It's five AM, chochacho! You ready to gruzzle down some cheese omelettes, or you want to watch Braveheart again first? / Teodor: Oh, crap. I was supposed to tuck Philippe in tonight. I'm the only... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04142006 |
| Forgot to tuck in Philippe | [[Teodor is standing behind Ray, who is sitting on the couch.]]
/ Teodor: Dude, what time is it? / Ray: It's five AM, chochacho! You ready to gruzzle down some cheese omelettes, or you want to watch Braveheart again first? / Teodor: Oh, crap. I was supposed to tuck Philippe in tonight. I'm the only... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04142006 |
| Achewood - April 15, 2002 | [[Todd and Blister are at the party. Music plays. Téodor is still passed out on a barstool.]]
/ Todd: Wooo! I'm startin' to f-f-fade. Wanna take?
/ Blister: SURE / [[Todd and Blister walk out of the party.]] / [[Todd and Blister are outside by Todd's van. There is a ticket under the wiper.]]
/ Todd:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04152002 |
| Achewood - April 15, 2003 | Nice Pete: How was your visitation session, Pat
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04152003 |
| Achewood - April 15, 2004 | [[ Losing It in A-Minor ]]
/ [[ Ray is dancing next to the typewriter wearing his newspaper suit, on the streets of Berlin.]] / Even Anthony Kiedis knows
/ The temperature at which water freezes
/ Iggy Pop can name on demand
/ At least three apostles of Jesus / Our mass subconscious is a big subway system
/ Each... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04152004 |
| Achewood - April 15, 2005 | [[Interior, Ray's house. Ray is pacing about, deep in thought.]]
/ Ray: (thinking) Man, I am at a crossroads here. / Ray: (thinking) On the one hand, Japan Man is right. One should be able to make one's own fortune in America. / Ray: (thinking) On the other hand, Japan Man is wrong. If you can't... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04152005 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04152008">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04152008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - April 16, 2002 | [[There is a party occuring, which everyone is eloquently dressed for. Teodor has passed out]]
/ Ray: Téodor! We gonna take off now! It was a real good time, dig? / [[There is a firm, pulsating knock at the door]] / [[Ray has answered the door and begins a dialogue with the person behind it]]
/ Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04162002 |
| Achewood - April 16, 2003 | [[Ray and Mr. Bear are on the couch watching TV]]
/ Ray: Man, these Gilmore Girls just talk too goddamned much.
/ Mr. Bear: If you don't like it, you can go do something else. / Ray: Seriously, man! Who writes this shit? Nerdy bitches on speed? / Mr. Bear: I find the brisk dialogue to be a welcome... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04162003 |
| Gilmore Girls | [[Ray and Mr. Bear are on the couch watching TV]]
/ Ray: Man, these Gilmore Girls just talk too goddamned much!
/ Mr. Bear: If you don't like it, you can go do something else. / Ray: Seriously, man! Who writes this shit?
/ Ray: Nerdy bitches on speed? / Mr. Bear: I find the brisk dialogue to be a welcome... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04162003 |
| Achewood - April 16, 2007 | [[Ray is sitting at his desk in front of the computer, speaking on a wireless phone, an empty cup of brandy at the side]]
/ Ray: Yeah, Beef! I DID commission you and Molly a custom romance novel for Christmas! It finally showed up? / [[Ray still sitting on the same spot, only his expression shows more... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04162007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04162008">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04162008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - April 17, 2002 | [[Ray has box in hand from "Penny." See previous strip.]]
/ Ray: Hmmm... now what should I do with this box?
/ Ray: I wonder what the best thing to do is. / Titling: MANY HOURS LATER
/ [[Téodor is beginning to wake up]]
/ Téodor: Oh...oh god.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04172002 |
| Achewood - April 17, 2003 | Ray: Seriously, Pat! How'd you get outta prison? / Nice Pete: [[thinking to himself]] This guy plays it so cool. / Makin' damn sure we actually found the tools he slipped us. / After all, we may have broken out some other way and not be indebted to him. / A smart man knows where everyone stands so... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04172003 |
| Achewood - April 17, 2006 | Emeril: Well I don't know Spongebath if you ask me that sounds as phony as the lunar landing / Lyle: You read Ralph Rene's book, Emeril?
/ Emeril: Yes and if you did find it as provocative as I you may want to take on loan on my copy of Moonfaker / Beef's cell phone: ...when I went to YOUR schools,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04172006 |
| Achewood - April 17, 2007 | [[Roast Beef staring at computer screen]]
/ Dang man everybody wants to impeach George Bush and hate on him and spank him on the butt / [[Roast Beef typing]]
/ Well everyone has their price let's try this
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04172007 |
| Achewood - April 17, 2008 | [[Teodor and Ray are driving through the night in Ray's Escalade]]
/ Ray: So, like, I think the reason Howard Stern is popular is that he hell of rags on dykes, but he also hell of esteems them, because they got, like, brass Fallopian tubes. / Ray: It shows that the man is conflicted like everyone else,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04172008 |
| Achewood - April 17, 2008 | [[Teodor and Ray are driving through the night in Ray's Escalade]]
/ Ray: So, like, I think the reason Howard Stern is popular is that he hell of rags on dykes, but he also hell of esteems them, because they got, like, brass Fallopian tubes. / Ray: It shows that the man is conflicted like everyone else,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04172008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04172010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04172010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - April 18, 2002 | PENNY DROPPED THIS BUY =RAY= / PENNY?! / Penny came by? You should have woken me up! / You was out cold, man! There was nothin' I --
/ Aww jeez, Ray! / Quit moanin' at me! What's in the box?
/ Oh yeah! Hey, I'll call you right back. / Soon
/ Ray! Look what she made me! / Ray? / Heh! Sorry, man. I... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04182002 |
| Achewood - April 18, 2003 | <> / [[Pat has entered Vlad's Subway outlet and stands ashamed in front of the counter, behind which Vlad stands in his Subway cap]]
/ Pat: Vlad, I wanted to... to apologize to you for what I did. / Vlad: Ah yes, hello Pat. I see you are receivink my... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04182003 |
| Lyle Shoots Ray's Car | {{Alt text: Apocalypse and Food, Escalade and Disaster.}} / Beef: Man what it is Ray why you so down at the corners of your slice
/ Ray: Oh, shut up, Beef. What do you know. / Beef: Dogg do not castigate me / Ray: Lyle's so pissed at me that he shot my new Escalade!
/ You don't shoot a man's car! It's... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04182005 |
| Trashspotters catching up with Philippe | [[Teodor and Emeril.]]
/ Teodor: Seriously, what makes you think he's gone to find the sofa?
/ Emeril: Teodor to hear you I would believe you never were a child. / [[Teodor is shown as a child, on a bright sunny day, chasing a duck. He has an anchor on his sweatshirt.]] / [[The duck sees him.]] / [[The... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04182006 |
| Achewood - April 18, 2007 | {title text: THE TODD T. SQUIRREL DECISION-MAKING FLOWCHART}} / step: HOLY FRICK! I WOKE UP AGAIN!
/ HA HA LOOKS LIKE THOSE FUCKERS OWE ME FIVE BUCKS / [[Path A]]
/ step: AW, CRAP! RICKY NIHOHA'S HERE!
/ YEAH HI RICKY NO I AIN'T REMEMBER WHO ATE ALL THE BEAN SALAD AT THE VAN CLUB MEETING / step: B-B-BACK... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04182007 |
| Achewood - April 18, 2008 | [[In Ray's Escalade]]
/ Cornelius : I get it! I GET IT! Roast Beef is an utter genius! / Ray: How's that, Stanley? / Cornelius: My name is not Stanley. / Ray: [[To Teodor]] They say that's a good sign. / Cornelius: At any rate, he knew that gentlemen of my vintage do not have the computing interests... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04182008 |
| Achewood - April 18, 2008 | [[In Ray's Escalade]]
/ Cornelius : I get it! I GET IT! Roast Beef is an utter genius! / Ray: How's that, Stanley? / Cornelius: My name is not Stanley. / Ray: [[To Teodor]] They say that's a good sign. / Cornelius: At any rate, he knew that gentlemen of my vintage do not have the computing interests... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04182008 |
| Achewood - April 19, 2002 | [[Philippe's mother has called her son on the telephone]]
/ Philippe's Mother: Dear, did you get the tapes I sent? / Philippe: Yes mom! I was just about to play them. / Titling: LATER
/ [Philippe has headphones on]]
/ Tape: ...SO REMEMBER, WHEN YOU EAT FOOD, YOU TURN IT INTO *LIFE* / Tape: AND EVERYONE... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04192002 |
| Achewood - April 19, 2002 | [[Philippe's mother has called her son on the telephone]]
/ Philippe's Mother: Dear, did you get the tapes I sent? / Philippe: Yes mom! I was just about to play them. / Titling: LATER
/ [[Philippe has headphones on]]
/ Tape: ...SO REMEMBER, WHEN YOU EAT FOOD, YOU TURN IT INTO *LIFE* / Tape: AND EVERYONE... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04192002 |
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