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| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com:8080/index.php?date=05142012">http://achewood.com:8080/index.php?date=05142012 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com:81/">http://achewood.com:81/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date%E2%80%A6">http://achewood.com/index.php?date%E2%80%A6 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com:8080/">http://achewood.com:8080/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - January 1, 2004 | {{Guest strip by Jeff Roysdon}}
/ [[roastbeef takes up smoking]] / [[Roast Beef chainsmokes for days]]
/ Roast Beef: dang-i thought these things were supposed to totally kill you / [[Roast Beef continues to smoke and looks depressed]] http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01012004 |
| I Love My Fat Son | [[Lyle sits on the couch with beer and remote]]
/ TV: DON'T FORGET TO TUNE IN NEXT TIME WHEN WE'LL HAVE MOTHERS WHO STILL SPANK THEIR ADULT CHILDREN...TAKE CARE... / [[Lyle changes the channel]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022002 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2003 | Mr Bear: My heavens, Lyle! When did you start this franchise?! / Lyle: My uncle died, I inherited it. You want a sandwich or what? / Mr Bear: Is the parent company helping you take the reins? / Lyle: Bah! Not hardly! / Lyle: They're openin' up three more franchises on this same street! / {{Meanwhile}}
/ Lie... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022003 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2003 | Mr Bear: My heavens, Lyle! When did you start this franchise?! / Lyle: My uncle died, I inherited it. You want a sandwich or what? / Mr Bear: Is the parent company helping you take the reins? / Lyle: Bah! Not hardly! / Lyle: They're openin' up three more franchises on this same street! / {{Meanwhile}}
/ Vlad:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022003 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2003 | Mr Bear: My heavens, Lyle! When did you start this franchise?! / Lyle: My uncle died, I inherited it. You want a sandwich or what? / Mr Bear: Is the parent company helping you take the reins? / Lyle: Bah! Not hardly! / Lyle: They're openin' up three more franchises on this same street! / [[Meanwhile]]
/ Lie... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022003 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2003 | Mr Bear: My heavens, Lyle! When did you start this franchise?! / Lyle: My uncle died, I inherited it. You want a sandwich or what? / Mr Bear: Is the parent company helping you take the reins? / Lyle: Bah! Not hardly! / Lyle: They're openin' up three more franchises on this same street! / {{Meanwhile}}
/ Vlad:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022003 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2004 | [[Ray hands a bill to Phillipe.]]
/ Ray: Hey, Phillipe! Here's a fiver. Pick me up a pack of lucky strikes.
/ Phillipe: Um... Okay... / [[Phillipe goes crazy across the town in the style of Billy from The Family Circus. Locations visited include: an hourly rate hotel, Beer 'n' Smokes, a strip club, the... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022004 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2004 | [[Circular panel at top left of main picture. Ray hands a bill to Phllippe.]]
/ Ray: Hey, Philippe! Here's a fiver. Pick me up a pack of lucky strikes.
/ Philippe: Um... Okay... / [[Main picture, borderless. A view of the town, with Philippe's route shown by a dotted line that rambles wildly. Locations... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022004 |
| Coming in 2006... | Title: Coming in 2006! Scenes from... The Story of Molly Sanders / [[A sketched, artistic-style, wordless tale of Molly's past life on an ship in bygone times., in turbulent water. An old woman lectures her, and leaves. The captain sticks a gun in his mouth. Molly sits on her bed, as the boat sways... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022006 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2007 | << http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022007 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2007 | << http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022007 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2008 | Ray: Here you go, T! Merry Christmas. Sorry I didn't get this to you on the big day.
/ Ray: It's been crazy. / Teodor: Wow, you wrote a book?
/ Ray: Heh! Yeahhhhh. Just got it back from the printer. / Book Title: re you There, God? It's Me, Jamiroquai. By R. Smuckles / Book reverse: US $24.95... http://achewood.com/?date=01022008 |
| Achewood - January 2, 2008 | Ray: Here you go, T! Merry Christmas. Sorry I didn't get this to you on the big day.
/ Ray: It's been crazy.
/ Teodor: Wow, you wrote a book?
/ Ray: Heh. Yeahhhhh. Just got it back from the printer.
/ [[Scene description]] Close up of book title: "Are You There, God? It's me, Jamiroquai" By R. Smuckles
/ [[Scene... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022008 |
| There is a snake in the yard | [[Mr. Bear points off-panel]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032002 |
| Wall of Tough Guys | [[Vlad and Philippe, in Vlad's Subway]]
/ Vlad: Hey there little guy! I haf exciting sandwiches deal for you!
/ Philippe: Hi Vlad! / [[Phillipe looks at a wall of framed pictures under the letters "WALL OF THE TOUGH GUYS"]]
/ Vlad: Buy ten sandwiches and I put your picture on the Wall Of The Tough Guys!
/ Philippe:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032003 |
| Achewood - January 3, 2005 | Overground Map:
/ Achewood, California / 1. Residence of Ray Smuckles
/ 2. Kazenzakis residence
/ 3. Residence of Pat Reynolds
/ 4. Residence of Téodor, Philippe, Mr. Bear, Lyle, and the Onstads
/ 5. Apartment residence of Chucklebot, Andy, Vlad, Tina, Emeril, Spongebath
/ 6. Residence of Todd Squirrel / LEGEND.
/ *... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032005 |
| Achewood - January 3, 2005 | Overground Map:
/ Achewood, California / 1. Residence of Ray Smuckles
/ 2. Kazenzakis residence
/ 3. Residence of Pat Reynolds
/ 4. Residence of Téodor, Philippe, Mr. Bear, Lyle, and the Onstads
/ 5. Apartment residence of Chucklebot, Andy, Vlad, Tina, Emeril, Spongebath
/ 6. Residence of Todd Squirrel / LEGEND.
/ *... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032005 |
| Lyle's sink bath | [[Lyle is sitting by himself in the left hand sink of a double kitchen sink, with a bottle of liquor. He has a Chevrolet tattoo on his chest.]]
/ <> / Ray: DAAAAAMN, PEOPLE
/ OH HELL YES
/ [[Lyle turns toward him, looking angry]] / [[Ray is roller-skating around with an iPod, wearing... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032006 |
| Achewood - January 3, 2007: Lyle is demoted from Mister Band | [[Lyle holds a guitar]]
/ Lyle: I’m just sayin’, two guys are in a band, usually both of ’em get to help write songs. Gimme a shot, man. / [[Nice Pete speaks into his microphone]]
/ Nice Pete: Hm. I see. This is like women’s television. You feel you are not, “being heard.”
/ Lyle: Well, yeah. Basically. / Nice... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032007 |
| Achewood - January 3, 2008 | Ray: Here's the thing. Stephen Hawking couldn't fight his way outta a paper bag, right? / Roast Beef: There's a lot of things Stephen Hawking can't do with a paper bag but yeah
/ Ray: And he only talks outta a computer? / Roast Beef: He's a hackable dude for sure I mean he is basically a laptop
/ [[Ray... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032012&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01032012&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Hand-held fan | [[Mr. Bear sits on the sofa with a hand-held fan]]
/ Mr. Bear: AHHHH / [[Lyle appears with a bottle of liquor]]
/ Lyle: Oooh! Look at the big woman with his little fan! Are you sitting on a doily, Mr. Lady-Lady? / Lyle: Better not get that too close to your uterus! It might freeze your dainty little... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01042002 |
| Police Blotter, 9/8/1932 | [[Scan of old Police Blotter, which reads:]]
/ ACHEWOOD CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT
/ Incidents of Police Record for the date September 8, 1932.
/ IN LARAMIE ST.
/ Eulalie Dorsson, of 14 Laramie St., reports that groceries valued at $3.42 were damaged by animals before she could meet the grocer and bring them... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01042005 |
| Achewood - January 4, 2006 | [[Text: WHAT DO THEY DREAM ABOUT WHEN THEY GO TO SLEEP (TEODOR)]] / [[Ray has his arm around Teodor. They are addressing a businessman.]]
/ Ray: (Referring to Teodor) This is Wade Hanson. He's the genius behind your new ad campaign. / Man: So, the idea of a sofa-sized ice cube tray with a puppy in... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01042006 |
| Achewood - January 4, 2007: The Lyle-Téodor Swap | [[Lyle is on the phone]]
/ Lyle: Hey T! You play bass? I need someone to stand in for me. / [[Téodor answers on a cell phone, apparently in the middle of jogging]]
/ Téodor: Sure I can play the bass. Anyone can play the bass. It's an idiot's instrument. It was invented so the guitarist and drummer would... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01042007 |
| Achewood - January 4, 2007: The Lyle-Téodor Swap | [[Lyle is on the phone. He is holding a bottle of drink.]]
/ Lyle: Hey T! You play bass? I need someone to stand in for me. / [[Téodor answers on a cell phone, apparently in the middle of jogging]]
/ Téodor: Sure I can play the bass. Anyone can play the bass. It's an idiot's instrument. It was invented... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01042007 |
| Achewood - January 4, 2008 | Cornelius: A package with the tell-tale arrow for you, Teodor.
/ Teodor: Oh! Good! My new books from Amazon. / Cornelius: Which titles did you order, if I might ask?
/ Teodor: Just some stuff to help me with Philippe. He's been going through phases lately, and asking a lot of questions.
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01042008 |
| Achewood - January 5, 2004 | [[Roast Beef is beating on the door of a public toilet stall)]]
/ Roast Beef: Ray come on dogg
/ We figured on how to get out of here
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01052004 |
| Achewood - January 5, 2005 | [[Scene is Ray and Roast Beef, alone. Both are wearing wigs.]]
/ Roast Beef: Alright Ray how does my Patsy Cline look
/ Is it any good / Ray: It's solid, man. Do you think my Loretta Lynn is decent? / Roast Beef: Yeah man it is spot on and the hair is great too so let's do this
/ Ray: Let's do this! Let's... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01052005 |
| Achewood - January 5, 2006 | Teodor, in a Tinky-Winky (Teletubby) suit: [[looking fat and sassy]] Hello! / Teodor, in a Tinky-Winky (Teletubby) suit: [[adopting a Marching pose]] Hello, / Teodor, in a Tinky-Winky (Teletubby) suit: [[doing calesthenics for old ladies]] Hello! / Teodor, in a Tinky-Winky (Teletubby) suit: [[he has... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01052006 |
| Achewood - January 5, 2006 | Teodor, in a Tinky-Winky (Teletubby) suit: [[looking fat and sassy]] Hello! / Teodor, in a Tinky-Winky (Teletubby) suit: [[adopting a Marching pose]] Hello, / Teodor, in a Tinky-Winky (Teletubby) suit: [[doing calisthenics for old ladies]] Hello! / Teodor, in a Tinky-Winky (Teletubby) suit: [[he has... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01052006 |
| Achewood - January 5, 2007 | [[Teodor is standing at Ray's doorstep]] / Ray: Hey, T! Whatchu doin' round my pad? I'm light, dogg. Serious times. Smoke up a friend, holmes. I'm so bored. / Teodor: I'm sitting in for Lyle on bass tonight. What's the deal with this band? Are you in it? / Ray: Me? Hells naw, man. I ain't... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01052007 |
| Achewood - January 5, 2007 | [[Teodor is standing at Ray's doorstep]]
/ Ray: Hey, T! Whatchu doin' round my pad? I'm light, dogg. Serious times. Smoke up a friend, holmes. I'm so bored. / Teodor: I'm sitting in for Lyle on bass tonight. What's the deal with this band? Are you in it? / Ray: Me? Hells naw, man. I ain't wantin'... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01052007 |
| Achewood - January 5, 2007 | [[Teodor is standing at Ray's doorstep]] / Ray: Hey, T! Whatchu doin' round my pad? I'm light, dogg. Serious times. Smoke up a friend, holmes. I'm so bored. / Teodor: I'm sitting in for Lyle on bass tonight. What's the deal with this band? Are you in it? / Ray: Me? Hells naw, man. I ain't... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01052007 |
| Achewood - January 6, 2004 | [[Scene is outside Friendly's restaurant in Hell.]]
/ Roast Beef: Alright Todd Ray can't get up so let's just bring a menu to him and get out of this place
/ Todd: C-C-Cool! / [[Scene is inside the men's restroom in Friendly's.]]
/ Roast Beef: You got your riddle all figured out then ?
/ Todd: Pshaw! D-Don't... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01062004 |
| Achewood - January 6, 2006 | Cornelius [[holding a large brandy glass]]: What's all this Ray? [[Cornelius and Ray are standing behind a large and assorted stack of cardboard boxes.]] / Ray [[hand to mouth, thoughtfully]]: I ain't even sure. Me and the boys got pretty donked up yesterday and went kind of crazy on those TV shoppin'... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01062006 |
| Achewood - January 6, 2006 | Cornelius [[holding a large brandy glass]]: What's all this Ray? [[Cornelius and Ray are standing behind a large and assorted stack of cardboard boxes.]] / Ray [[hand to mouth, thoughtfully]]: I ain't even sure. Me and the boys got pretty donked up yesterday and went kind of crazy on those TV shoppin'... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01062006 |
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