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Achewood - March 7, 2003 [[Roast Beef, in heaven]] / Caption: HEAVEN / [[Picture of one them little soda guns]] / Roast Beef: Dang even got one 'a them little soda guns / Roast Beef: Tonic and everything / Roast Beef: I could mix up some rude drinks if anyone was around / <> / Roast Beef: I guess I got all of eternity now...
Achewood - March 7, 2005 [[Pat preparing to play the banjo]] / <> / [[Pat preparing to play]] / <> / [[Teodor watching Pat from behind a door; Pat preparing to play]] / Teodor (thinking): Crap, Pat showed up. I think I'll hang back. / <> / Ray (on Teodor's cell phone): Sorry, Doc, but this...
Achewood - March 7, 2006 The Acres, Early Evening, Day 2 / Ray: Who! Damn, but did I need that nap! / Ray [thinks]: Thank you, Cristian Brothers! / Ray [thinks]: And thank YOU, flavorless overcooked supermarket turkey that was in the back of some dude's car for way longer than recommended! / Back at Camp / Ray: Hey you two!...
Achewood - March 7, 2006 The Acres, Early Evening, Day 2 / [[Prone figures lie amid the debris while small brawls continue. A bespectacled man is straining to hold away the fist of the moustachioed fighter who has him in a hammer lock. Nearby, a skinhead slams a luckless combatant into the ground. A fat man kneels alone, gasping...
Achewood - March 7, 2007 [[Vlad encounters Téodor, who is standing in a doorway. Vlad is carrying a duffle bag with the star of David on it.]] / Vlad: Téodor! You are Jewish guy, yes? / Téodor: Huh? Oh, not really. I mean, my ancestors were, but I don't observe. / Vlad: Perhaps it is time to get back in the game! And truly,...
Achewood - March 7, 2008 AN AFTERNOON WITH... Molly Sanders {{strip in the same style as the other thought flowcharts for other characters}} / Molly: Beef? Did you hear that? / Beef: "Dammit woman ain't been no sounds" / Molly: I heard something at the front door! / [OPEN DOOR] / Molly: Philippe! How long have you been standing there?...
 
Achewood - March 8, 2002 [[Cornelius encounters Philippe, who is wearing glasses.]] / Cornelius: Phillippe! When did you start wearing eyeglasses? / Phillippe: My mom sent them to me. I haven't been seeing well. / Cornelius: My heavens! May I administer an eye test? / Phillipe: Okay / [[Cornelius produces a book from his pocket.]] / Cornelius:...
Achewood - March 8, 2004 Lazarus: RAY! If you could please focus for five seconds! / Ray: Sorry, man! That chochicha had some hangin' naturals! / Ray: Hee hee! / Lazarus: We were going over 10-Q reports for the furniture industry. / Ray: I bet her name was Michelle! / Ray: I BET her name was Michelle, dude! / Lazarus {{thought balloon}}:...
Achewood - March 8, 2004 Lazarus: RAY! If you could please focus for five seconds! / Ray: Sorry, man! That chochicha had some hangin' naturals! / Ray: Hee hee! / Lazarus: We were going over 10-Q reports for the furniture industry. / Ray: I bet her name was Michelle! / Ray: I BET her name was Michelle, dude! / Lazarus {{thought balloon}}:...
Achewood - March 8, 2005 Pat, I need the banjo. / Fine, you can have it when I'm done. / I need it now. / Not a chance. Roast Beef hasn't heard my composition yet. / Give it here. / Nothing doing. / Now! / No! / Give me the banjo, Pat! / Not a chance. / Please give me the banjo. / Say pretty please. / Pretty please...
The Cody Travis Army [[There are four guys with cowboy hats lined up]] / Second guy: Well if it ain't the peckerwood that took down Cody. Lookit 'im run, boys. He 'specting us to turn and high-tail? / [[Guy spits]] / <> / Fourth guy: Moves pretty fast for a boy who dines on fine cakes and city-wine, if'n you ask - / [[Ray...
Achewood - March 8, 2007 Raymond: Oh, what the hell. / [[Raymond clicks reply]] / Raymond types: Dear Leon Sumbitches, / Raymond types: Sure, I'll help you with your Africa-America money transfer. I've actually been known to have a little money of my own, so I am familiar with the way cash seems and behaves. / Raymond types: Just...
Achewood - March 8, 2007 Raymond: Oh, what the hell. / [[Raymond clicks reply]] / Raymond types: Dear Leon Sumbitches, / Raymond types: Sure, I'll help you with your Africa-America money transfer. I've actually been known to have a little money of my own, so I am familiar with the way cash seems and behaves. / Raymond types: Just...
Achewood - March 8, 2007 Raymond: Oh, what the hell. / [[Raymond clicks reply]] / Raymond types: Dear Leon Sumbitches, / Raymond types: Sure, I'll help you with your Africa-America money transfer. I've actually been known to have a little money of my own, so I am familiar with the way cash seems and behaves. / Raymond types: Just...
Achewood - March 8, 2007 Raymond: Oh, what the hell. / [[Raymond clicks reply]] / Raymond types: Dear Leon Sumbitches, / Raymond types: Sure, I'll help you with your Africa-America money transfer. I've actually been known to have a little money of my own, so I am familiar with the way cash seems and behaves. / Raymond types: Just...
 
Achewood - March 9, 2004 Shoe: You've been sponsoring a political candidate? I'm impressed, Ray. / Ray: Yeah, I kick a couple bricks his way now and then. Don't talk during my swing. / Shoe: I want to see a more serious commitment to this campaign. Up his cash flow. Get him elected. / Ray: Uh, his campaign ain't too solidified...
Achewood - March 9, 2005 [[The banjo drags Pat down the sidewalk]] / Pat: Where... where are you taking me?! Stop! STOP! / Pat: Oh my god this isn't happening this isn't happening this isn't-- / <> / Pat (thinking): Okay, Pat, you're panicking! What would Mr. Gary say to do... / Pat...
Achewood - March 9, 2007 [[Interior, Ray's house - Ray gets an email.]] / <> / [[Ray goes to his computer to read the email, which is a new reply from "Leon Sumbitches".]] / Email text: Dear Ray Smuckles, Thank you for your...
Achewood - March 10, 2003 [[Heaven, Blister is on the phone with Roast Beef]] / Blister: HEY BEEF IT'S BLISTER / Roast Beef: Blister god damn it is good to hear from you Man I am so drunk right now / Blister: YOU GOTTA COME OVER BEEF I'M IN D-3 / Roast Beef: Oh man that's right across the hall! / Blister: I'VE GOT LIKE SIX OR...
Achewood - March 10, 2004 [[Téodor stands on a golf course, leaning on a putter, speaking into a cell phone]] / Téodor: Ray! What are you teaching Philippe?! / [[Ray, preparing to putt at what seems to be a different golf course, also speaks into a cellphone]] / Ray: Huh? Who? What? I'm in the tub, dude. I got mad suds popping...
 
Achewood - March 10, 2005 {{The banjo drags a smiling Pat down the sidewalk}} / {{Pat smiles}} / {{Pat is surprised by Todd climbing onto him}} / {{Todd drinking on Pat's stomach]] / [[Drunk Todd on Pat's stomach]] / [[Todd is surprised]] / [[Todd vomiting on Pat]] / <> / [[Todd passing out on Pat]] / <> / [[Todd...
Done at Rudy Cava [[Ray is by a barrel]] / <> / [[The flame in the barrel goes out]] / <> / Ray: Oh DAMN it! It's like six degrees out here! C'mon, stay lit! / [[The top of the barrel comes off. Ray is surprised]] / <> / [[Roast...
Achewood - March 10, 2008 Teodor: Where have you guys been? / Ray: I just took my homeboy to Disneyland for three days, man! Classic knuckleheads' vacation! / Teodor: Wow, did you have a good time? / Roast Beef: We did not have a good time at Disneyland / Teodor: Why not? / Ray: Don't listen to him. Disney rocked us. / Roast...
a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03102010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03102010 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Achewood - March 11, 2002 [[Lie Bot is speaking from inside of a cardboard television set]] / Lie Bot: Alright everybody! It's time to see my ass! / [[Lyle and Teodor are sitting on the couch]] / Lyle: NO WAY MAN / Teodor: BOO TO THAT / [[Cut back to Lie Bot in the cardboard TV. Lyle and Teodor speak from off-frame.]] / Lie Bot:...
 
Achewood - March 11, 2003 [[Phone conversation]] / Molly: Good morning Roast Beef! This is Molly...from the party? / Roast Beef: Oh hey Molly I wrote you some code last night after I took / Molly: Really?! You did? / [[thinking]] Roast Beef: Oh my god why did I just say that / [[thinking]] Roast Beef: I shouldn't have brought that...
Achewood - March 11, 2003 [[Phone conversation]] / Molly: Good morning Roast Beef! This is Molly...from the party? / Roast Beef: Oh hey Molly I wrote you some code last night after I took / Molly: Really?! You did? / [[thinking]] Roast Beef: Oh my god why did I just say that / [[thinking]] Roast Beef: I shouldn't have brought that...
Achewood - March 11, 2004 [[Teodor and Ray are golfing, shown as shadows]] / Teodor: Look, if you think you can buy out my politics then you're dead wrong. Whats gotten into you lately, Ray?! / Ray: T-Teodor, How'd you get past the gate?! / [[No longer in shadow, close up]] / Teodor: And what's with the one loafer? Are you...
Achewood - March 11, 2005 [[Ray on the phone with Pat]] / Ray: Hey PAT! Teodor says you broke my new banjo! What the hell, man? Totally uncool! / Pat: RAY! Your banjo is trying to kill me! It's dragging me down the street! / Ray: What, someone slip some acid into your cod liver oil? / Pat: I'm at...I'm at Tate and Marshall! Come...
Achewood - March 11, 2008 Mr. Bear: Where is Ray? I don't believe I've seen the fine fellow in a week or more. / Roast Beef: Oh uh he went to live in an earthen-floor cottage in rural England for a while / Roast Beef: It's kind of like a penance 'cause he made me go to Disneyland and I just had a nasty old time of it like I told...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Todd, Blister, Cornelius, Lyle, Phillippe, Pat, Roast Beef, Ray and Vlad stand outside a house, sign on the door says "PLEASE WAIT"]] RAY: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / PAT: I don't know man, he said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / TODD: Some party, Téodor! / [[Lyle, Cornelius,...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Todd, Blister, Cornelius, Lyle, Phillippe, Pat, Roast Beef, Ray and Vlad stand outside a house, sign on the door says "PLEASE WAIT"]] RAY: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / PAT: I don't know man, he said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / TODD: Some party, Téodor! / [[Lyle, Cornelius,...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Todd, Blister, Cornelius, Lyle, Phillippe, Pat, Roast Beef, Ray and Vlad stand outside a house, sign on the door says "PLEASE WAIT"]] RAY: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / PAT: I don't know man, he said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / TODD: Some party, Téodor! / [[Lyle, Cornelius,...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Todd, Blister, Cornelius, Lyle, Phillippe, Pat, Roast Beef, Ray and Vlad stand outside a house, sign on the door says "PLEASE WAIT"]] RAY: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / PAT: I don't know man, he said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / TODD: Some party, Téodor! / [[Lyle, Cornelius,...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Ray, Roast Beef, Pat, Phillipe, Lyle, Cornelius, Blister, Todd are waiting outside in the front yard at night. Roast Beef is smoking. A sign on the door reads 'PLEASE WAIT'.]] / Ray: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / Pat: I don't know, man. He said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / Todd:...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Ray, Roast Beef, Pat, Phillipe, Lyle, Cornelius, Blister, Todd are waiting outside in the front yard at night. Roast Beef is smoking. A sign on the door reads 'PLEASE WAIT'.]] / Ray: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / Pat: I don't know, man. He said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / Todd:...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Ray, Roast Beef, Pat, Phillipe, Lyle, Cornelius, Blister, Todd are waiting outside in the front yard at night. Roast Beef is smoking. A sign on the door reads 'PLEASE WAIT'.]] / Ray: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / Pat: I don't know, man. He said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / Todd:...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Ray, Roast Beef, Pat, Phillipe, Lyle, Cornelius, Blister, Todd are waiting outside in the front yard at night. Roast Beef is smoking. A sign on the door reads 'PLEASE WAIT'.]] / Ray: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / Pat: I don't know, man. He said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / Todd:...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Ray, Roast Beef, Pat, Phillipe, Lyle, Cornelius, Blister, Todd are waiting outside in the front yard at night. Roast Beef is smoking. A sign on the door reads 'PLEASE WAIT'.]] / Ray: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / Pat: I don't know, man. He said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / Todd:...
Achewood - March 12, 2002 [[Ray, Roast Beef, Pat, Phillipe, Lyle, Cornelius, Blister, Todd are waiting outside in the front yard at night. Roast Beef is smoking. A sign on the door reads 'PLEASE WAIT'.]] / Ray: Hey man, what time is he gonna let us in? / Pat: I don't know, man. He said 8:00 and it's, like, 8:15 probably. / Todd:...
 
Achewood - March 12, 2003 [[Molly and Roast Beef are at Beef's room in Heaven. Molly has a bottle of wine.]] / Molly: Hi Roast Beef! thanks for asking me over! I brought us a bottle of wine. / Roast Beef: Hello Molly thanks you for coming over it is very good to see you / Roast Beef: I am not much of a cook but I hope you can...
Achewood - March 12, 2004 [[Leopold the loafer lies on a golf course next to some shrubs]] / Leopold: LAZARUS SHOWED GREAT PROMISE AS AN ARTIST / Leopold: BUT OUR FATHER FORBADE THAT HE FOLLOW HIS TRUE CALLING / [[Wider shot reveals Teodor sitting on the ground next to Leopold. A golf ball lies nearby]] / Leopold: MY BROTHER'S...
Hearing Back from Leon Sumbitches [[Ray stands next to a table, arms akimbo, looking down at a box of Krusty-brand cornbread mix, which rests upon the table.]] / Ray: God damn. What can I do to class up this cornbread mix. / <> / Ray: Email! Large!...
Achewood ? March 12, 2009 {{Strip Title: Darlene and Lyle}} / [[Close up on Darlene smiling, leaning against Lyle's Baja]] / Lyle (narrating): She made me feel amazing. I started sayin' stuff so good I didn't even know I could say it. It was like a goddamn genius was drivin' me with a joystick. / [[Lyle stands next to Darlene...
Achewood Darlene and Lyle March 12, 2009 {{Strip Title: Darlene and Lyle}} / [[Close up on Darlene smiling, leaning against Lyle's Baja]] / Lyle (narrating): She made me feel amazing. I started sayin' stuff so good I didn't even know I could say it. It was like a goddamn genius was drivin' me with a joystick. / [[Lyle stands next to Darlene...
a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03122010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03122010 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 

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