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| Achewood - March 13, 2002 | TÉODOR: Please allow me to dispense with the formalities. If you would, gentlemen -- come inside and explore the premises!
/ (everyone troops inside)
/ (Téodor and Phillipe stare at each other for a moment)
/ (Phillipe shakes Téodor's hand)
/ PHILLIPE: Thank you for inviting me to your party.
/ TÉODOR: There... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03132002 |
| Achewood - March 13, 2002 | TÉODOR: Please allow me to dispense with the formalities. If you would, gentlemen -- come inside and explore the premises! / [[everyone troops inside]] / [[Téodor and Phillipe stare at each other for a moment]] / [[Phillipe shakes Téodor's hand]] / PHILLIPE: Thank you for inviting me to your party.
/ TÉODOR:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03132002 |
| Achewood - March 13, 2002 | [[All characters on front porch, dressed for a party. Teodor stands in the doorway, with a tuxedo and a cigarette.]]
/ TÉODOR: Please allow me to dispense with the formalities. If you would, gentlemen -- come inside and explore the premises! / [[everyone troops inside]] / [[Téodor and Phillipe stare... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03132002 |
| Achewood - March 13, 2002 | TÉODOR: Please allow me to dispense with the formalities. If you would, gentlemen -- come inside and explore the premises!
/ {{Lie Bot, Ray, Roast Beef, Philippe, Pat, and Mr. Bear enter Téodor's party}}
/ {{Téodor and Phillipe stare at each other for a moment}}
/ {{Phillipe extends his hand to Téodor}}
/ {{Phillipe... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03132002 |
| Achewood - March 13, 2003 | [[Roast Beef holds a pan containing a cooked chicken.]]
/ Roast Beef: Wait a minute this doesn't look right / [[Upon closer inspection, the chicken appears to have a tiny dong.]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh my god I bought a rooster instead of a chicken ! / Roast Beef: I knew there was something wrong / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03132003 |
| Achewood - March 13, 2003 | [[Roast Beef holds a pan containing a cooked chicken.]]
/ Roast Beef: Wait a minute this doesn't look right / [[Upon closer inspection, the chicken appears to have a tiny penis.]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh my god I bought a rooster instead of a chicken ! / Roast Beef: I knew there was something wrong / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03132003 |
| Achewood - March 13, 2007 | {{Title: Calling out Leon}} / [[Ray at his computer in the dark typing away]]
/ LEON! / It has been nearly half an evening! You have not sent me any money for MY needs yet! / If I do not see this money soon, you shall know my hand. I do not like to feel a fool. / [[Shot of Roast Beef on his couch... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03132007 |
| Achewood - March 13, 2008 | Showbiz: [[in phone booth]] Beef! It's me, man! Your brother Mike! 'Sup! / Roast Beef: [[talking on cell phone]] Oh uh hey Showbiz listen I have some good news about Molly and me--
/ Showbiz: [[on phone]] Look, man! Are you near a phone? I just need some quick cash, pay you back in like two days, max!... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03132008 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2002 | RAY: Mmm! Damn, these are tasty! Hey Pat, try some of these!
/ PAT: I don't dig on Craisins, man.
/ RAY: These little things are called Craisins? Daaamn!
/ PAT: Whoah! Is that...
/ PAT: There's a broad at this party!
/ (Cornelius is being a gentleman to the broad) http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142002 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2002 | [[Ray, Pat and Roast Beef stand around a table of munchies. Music is playing]]
/ RAY: Mmm! Damn, these are tasty! Hey Pat, try some of these!
/ PAT: I don't dig on Craisins, man. / RAY: These little things are called Craisins? Daaamn!
/ PAT: Whoah! Is that... / PAT: There's a broad at this party!
/ [[Cornelius... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142002 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2003 | Well, who's ready for some roasted-up ding dong!
/ Is that seriously all you made? / Basically yes
/ Ha ha! You have to have vegetables and starch and stuff! This isn't a complete meal! / Oh I was all nervous Molly
/ I never cooked for a lady before / See! That's why women are good for men. We help... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142003 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2003 | [[Roast Beef and Molly stand by the cooked rooster.]]
/ Roast Beef: Well who's ready for some roasted-up ding dong !
/ Molly: Is this seriously all you made? / Roast Beef: Basically yes
/ Molly: Ha ha! You have to have vegetables and starch and stuff! This isn't a complete meal! / Roast Beef: Oh I was... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142003 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2003 | [[Roast Beef and Molly are at a table in heaven. On the table is a cooked rooster in a pan.]]
/ Roast Beef: Well who's ready for some roasted-up ding dong!
/ Molly: Is that seriously all you made? / Roast Beef: Basically yes
/ Molly: Ha ha! You have to have vegetables and starch and stuff! This isn't a... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142003 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2005 | 3/14/2005
/ Dear Readers:
/ Our baby girl was born today. Achewood comic strips will return in a week or so, and in the meantime please enjoy these daily photographs from around the (silent) Achewood production facilities.
/ Figure 1: the crushing silence of non-production. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142005 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2006 | [[The Great Outdoor Fight acres, third day]]
/ [[Ray passes a brandy bottle to Roast Beef]] / Ray: Man, this ain't right, Beef. I been thinkin'.
/ Roast Beef: [[sips on brandy]] < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142006 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2006 | [[The Great Outdoor Fight acres, third day]]
/ [[Ray passes a brandy bottle to Roast Beef]] / Ray: Man, this ain't right, Beef. I been thinkin'.
/ Roast Beef: [[sips on brandy]] < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142006 |
| Achewood - March 14, 2008 | [[Roast Beef is on the phone. He is angry]]
/ Roast Beef: Showbiz this is my wedding we're talking about not some apartment party where you sit around drinking Mexican brain detergent ! / [[Showbiz is in a phone box with "Pacific Bell" on the side.]]
/ Showbiz: Oh, so I just got to sit around and listen... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03142008 |
| Achewood - March 15, 2002 | PHILLIPE: Who am I going to meet? Is it somebody famous? Is it Emeril?
/ TÉODOR: A friend of a friend.
/ PHILLIPE'S IMAGINATION -- EMERIL: Hey Phillipe! Téodor said I should meet you! Well here I am, baby!
/ PHILLIPE'S IMAGINATION -- EMERIL: Listen, I need someone to drive my limo! What do you say, little... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03152002 |
| Achewood - March 15, 2002 | [[Phillipe and Teodor walk down a hallway. Music is playing.]]
/ PHILLIPE: Who am I going to meet? Is it somebody famous? Is it Emeril?
/ TÉODOR: A friend of a friend. / PHILLIPE'S IMAGINATION -- EMERIL: Hey Phillipe! Téodor said I should meet you! Well here I am, baby! / PHILLIPE'S IMAGINATION --... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03152002 |
| Achewood - March 15, 2002 | PHILLIPE: Who am I going to meet? Is it somebody famous? Is it Emeril?
/ TÉODOR: A friend of a friend. / PHILLIPE'S IMAGINATION -- EMERIL: Hey Phillipe! Téodor said I should meet you! Well here I am, baby! / PHILLIPE'S IMAGINATION -- EMERIL: Listen, I need someone to drive my limo! What do you say,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03152002 |
| Achewood - March 15, 2004 | [[Outside shot of Ray's house.]]
/ Teodor: Wow, you really CAN drink five shots of Cuervo!
/ Ray: Sure as hell, blochicho! What else you got?
/ Teodor: I'm pretty faded. I'm gonna call it. / [[Ray is gesturing at Teodor]]
/ Ray: Suit yourself, stacky! I'ma sugarfoot MY hella shinto movements straight on... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03152004 |
| Achewood - March 15, 2005 | 3/15/2005
/ Dear Readers:
/ Our baby girl was born today. Achewood comic strips will return in a week or so, and in the meantime please enjoy these daily photographs from around the (silent) Achewood production facilities.
/ Figure 2: Still Life With Crushing Silence of Non-Production / {{The paints lay... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03152005 |
| Achewood - March 15, 2006 | [[A guard tower]] / [[Cranes overlooking the walls]] / [[A tent city outside the walls]] / Leander: Seriously, Ted! How come you stuff your pants?
/ Feckless Ted Cobb: You've not had my life. Don't judge me.
/ [[Barry King is updating Gasps and Giggles, The Latino Health Crisis is watching TV]]
/ < |
| Achewood - March 15, 2007 | {{Title: Meeting Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches}}
/ [[Ray is standing next to Roast Beef, who is sitting at Ray's computer.]]
/ Ray: Alright Beef, let's scam this guy back into the stone age. Start hackin', I'ma get some Stellas.
/ Roast Beef: Okay first uh what did you find out about him on Google and Wikipedia / [[Ray... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03152007 |
| Achewood - March 16, 2004 | [[Scene is Ray's bedroom. Ray is in bed, Téodor stands nearby.]]
/ Ray: What... what happened, man? / [[Cut to shot of Ray lying face-down on the floor.]]
/ Téodor: It was the shoes. They fought for hours. They had you dancing until your legs gave out. / [[Cut back to Ray's bedroom.]]
/ Téodor: Toward... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03162004 |
| Achewood - March 16, 2005 | 3/16/2005
/ Dear Readers:
/ Our baby girl was born today. Achewood comic strips will return in a week or so, and in the meantime please enjoy these daily photographs from around the (silent) Achewood production facilities.
/ Figure 3: Because of their long ears, dogs can sense and be hurt by the crushing... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03162005 |
| Achewood - March 16, 2007 | [[Roast Beef sits at Ray's computer, with Ray standing to his right. Both heads are turned to their right, glancing at the ringing phone.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03162007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03162010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03162010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - March 17, 2003 | Well I guess we got to place an order for Chinese delivery if we want anything to eat
/ Mmm! Let's call Jade Garden! / Oh no way I heard they put mega ding dongs in their food!
/ Is that right? / Oh yeah one time my friend ordered the combination fried rice and there was like just one small piece of... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172003 |
| Achewood - March 17, 2003 | [[Roast Beef and Molly are still standing next to the roasted up ding-dong.]]
/ Roast Beef: Well I guess we got to place an order for Chinese delivery if we want anything to eat
/ Molly: Mmm! Let's call Jade Garden! / Roast Beef: Oh no way I heard they put mega ding dongs in their food!
/ Molly: Is that... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172003 |
| Achewood - March 17, 2003 | [[Roast Beef and Molly are at a table in heaven. On the table is a cooked rooster in a pan.]]
/ Roast Beef: Well I guess we got to place an order for Chinese delivery if we want anything to eat
/ Molly: Mmm! Let's call Jade Garden! / Roast Beef: Oh no way I heard they put mega ding dongs in their food!
/ Molly:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172003 |
| Achewood - March 17, 2003 | Roast Beef: Well I guess we got to place an order for Chinese delivery if we want anything to eat
/ Molly: Mmm! Let's call Jade Garden! / Roast Beef: Oh no way I heard they put mega ding dongs in their food!
/ Molly: Is that right? / Roast Beef: Oh yeah one time my friend ordered the combination fried... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172003 |
| Achewood - March 17, 2003 | Beef: Well I guess we got to place an order for Chinese delivery if we want anything to eat
/ Molly: Mmm! Let's call Jade Garden! / Beef: Oh no way I heard they put mega ding dongs in their food!
/ Molly: Is that right? / Beef: Oh yeah one time my friend ordered the combination fried rice and there was... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172003 |
| Achewood - March 17, 2004 | Ray: Look, Beef! I just drew all these dots around my arm like I was Frankenstein! / Roast Beef: Oh uh you should place the dots more at your joints you know
/ Dr. Frankenstein was trained in anatomy and would never have cut through the middle like that / Ray: Okay...but still - pretty... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172004 |
| Achewood - March 17, 2005 | 3/17/2005
/ Dear Readers:
/ Our baby girl was born today. Achewood comic strips will return in a week or so, and in the meantime please enjoy these daily photographs from around the (silent) Achewood production facilities.
/ Figure 4: Here is a pretty good shot of Cocktail Recipes. He is the little man... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172005 |
| Achewood - March 17, 2006 | [[Ray has recently been reunited with his father following his semi-victory in the Great Outdoor Fight]]
/ Ray: Dad! It's me, Ray! From... from Sondra, you know! / Ramses Luther Smuckles: Easy, boy. Don't rap mush with me. / Ramses: you in the goggles. What's your name. / Roast Beef: Uh hello Mr. Smuckles... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172006 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/?date=03172008">http://achewood.com/?date=03172008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood § March 17, 2009 | Teodor: When'd you know it was over... or did you?
/ Lyle: Sigh / [[Flashback to Lyle and Wolcott in a bar as Darlene walks in]]
/ Narration: Me'n the boys were gettin' firm on brew down at the Beeter-Bub, and she came lookin' for me. She was already stewin' pretty good herself. / Darlene: So, how was... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03172009 |
| The Party: Day V | [[Ray is dancing to music. A CD case is at the bottom of the panel, mostly out-of-frame. He appears to be performing the Charleston.]] / [[He is now performing the "Crane Kick" from Karate Kid. The CD begins to move upwards--it is an album by TOTO.]] / [[Ray is pirouetting with his arms out. This... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182002 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2003 | [[Ray awaits Roast Beef's prognosis from Dr. Andretti.]]
/ Dr. Andretti: Ray, I encountered some difficulties during your friends surgery. / Ray: Oh my Lord! Did the AIBO lung not work?
/ Dr. Andretti: In fact, quite the opposite. / [[Ray and Dr. Andretti stand beside Roast Beef's bed, where he lies... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182003 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2003 | [[Ray awaits Roast Beef's prognosis from Dr. Andretti.]]
/ Dr. Andretti: Ray, I encountered some difficulties during your friend's surgery. / Ray: Oh my Lord! Did the AIBO lung not work?
/ Dr. Andretti: In fact, quite the opposite. / [[Ray and Dr. Andretti stand beside Roast Beef's bed, where he lies... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182003 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2003 | [[Ray awaits Roast Beef's prognosis from Dr. Andretti.]]
/ Dr. Andretti: Ray, I encountered some difficulties during your friend's surgery. / Ray: Oh my Lord! Did the AIBO lung not work?
/ Dr. Andretti: In fact, quite the opposite. / [[Ray and Dr. Andretti stand beside Roast Beef's bed, where he lies... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182003 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2004 | TODD: Awww frick yeah, baby! / TODD: This is Captain Todd speakin'! We got clear skies all the way to Frankfurt! / TODD: Our current airspeed is 653MPH and we'll be landin' in six hours' time! / CORNELIUS: / TEODOR: / {{title text: POMMES ODER BROT}} http://achewood.com/?date=03182004 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2004 | TODD: Awww frick yeah, baby! / TODD: This is Captain Todd speakin'! We got clear skies all the way to Frankfurt! / TODD: Our current airspeed is 653MPH and we'll be landin' in six hours' time! / CORNELIUS: / TEODOR: / NARRATOR: TOMORROW: ACHEWOOD TAKES THE TRAIN TO BERLIN / {{title text: POMMES... http://achewood.com/?date=03182004 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2004 | Todd: Awww frick yeah, baby! / Todd: This is Captain Todd speakin'! We got clear skies all the way to Frankfurt! / Todd: Out current airspeed is 653 MPH and we'll be landin' in six hours' time! / {{alt text: POMMES ODER BROT}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182004 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2004 | Todd: Awww frick yeah, baby! / Todd: This is Captain Todd speakin'! We got clear skies all the way to Frankfurt! / Todd: Our current airspeed is 653 MPH and we'll be landin' in six hours' time! / {{alt text: POMMES ODER BROT}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182004 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2004 | [[Apassenger plane is flying in the air.]]
/ Todd: Awww frick yeah, baby! / [[A close-up of the nose of the plane reveals that Todd is the pilot.]]
/ Todd: This is Captain Todd speakin'! We got clear skies all the way to Frankfurt! / [[We see Teodor and Cornelius through one of the plane's windows.]]
/ Todd:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182004 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2005 | 3/17/2005
/ Dear Readers:
/ Our baby girl was born today. Achewood comic strips will return in a week or so, and in the meantime please enjoy these daily photographs from around the (silent) Achewood production facilities.
/ Figure 5: Cocktail Recipes peruses his refrigerated garnish shelf in pursuit of... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182005 |
| Achewood - March 18, 2008 | [[Philippe and Mr. Bear are speaking in a hallway]]
/ Philippe: I want to be a comedian! Mr. Bear, how do I come up with my own jokes? / Mr. Bear: Well, make an initial statement that causes the listener to create an assumption, and then surprise them by making a follow-up statement which proves their... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182008 |
| Achewood ? March 18, 2009 | Ray: Dude, I can't just read somethin' and "know" it. I'm one of those guys who learns best by doin'. / Ray: That's why I can't come out all guns blazin' on, like, the history of France.
/ Pat: Oh, come on. Everybody at least knows what Bastille Day is. / Ray: Actually, that's a great example. Look:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03182009 |
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