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| Achewood - March 19, 2002 | T ODOR: Here we are! I think she's back here.
/ PHILIPPE: She?
/ T ODOR: She was kind of shy and wandered off down the hall.
/ PHILIPPE: I'm going to meet a lady?
/ T ODOR: Looks like it! Are you gentleman enough to introduce yourself?
/ (Phillipe salutes)
/ PHILLIPE: Oh boy!
/ PHILIPPE: Hello?
/ (Phillipe peeks... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192002 |
| Achewood - March 19, 2003 | [[Roast Beef and Molly are eating Chinese food in heaven.]]
/ Roast Beef: Wow! You might be the only lady who ever liked to read Nate Small! / Molly: Nate was so cool! You know, you're a lot like him...
/ Roast Beef: ...really? / Molly: Tall... quiet... deep... / [[Roast Beef and Molly lean forward... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192003 |
| Achewood - March 19, 2003 | [[Roast Beef and Molly are eating Chinese food in heaven.]]
/ Roast Beef: Wow! You might be the only lady who ever liked to read Nate Small! / Molly: Nate was so cool! You know, you're a lot like him...
/ Roast Beef: ...really? / Molly: Tall... quiet... deep... / [[Roast Beef and Molly lean forward... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192003 |
| Achewood - March 19, 2004 | NARRATOR: RIDING THE TRAIN OUT OF FRANKFURT-AM-MAIN / RAY: See here, Philippe! / RAY: When I shake the Bruichladdich fourteen year, there are barely any bubbles! / RAY: But when I shake the '89 cask strength, look at all the bubbles! That indicates higher alcohol content.
/ PHILIPPE: Huh! / RAY:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192004 |
| Achewood - March 19, 2004 | NARRATOR: RIDING THE TRAIN OUT OF FRANKFURT-AM-MAIN / RAY: See here, Philippe! / RAY: When I shake the Bruichladdich fourteen year, there are barely any bubbles! / RAY: But when I shake the '89 cask strength, look at all the bubbles! That indicates higher alcohol content.
/ PHILIPPE: Huh! / RAY:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192004 |
| Achewood - March 19, 2007 | [[THE PAT REYNOLDS DECISION-MAKING FLOWCHART]]
/ ahhhhhhhh!!!! / WHAT? / oHHHHHHHHHHHHh / oHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192007 |
| Achewood - March 19, 2007 | [[THE PAT REYNOLDS DECISION-MAKING FLOWCHART]] / ARRGH! / WHAT? / K-TECH MULTI "WHAT" BALANCER http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03192010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - March 20, 2002 | [[Phillippe by a doorway, wearing a tie in addition to his usual pants and shoes.]]
/ Phillippe: Well, now! What language is that you're speaking? / [[Ultra Peanut stands, hands folded]] / [[Tilts her head slightly]]
/ Ultra Peanut: Ni Hao? (written in Chinese) / [[Phillippe looks confused]] / [[Phillippe... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202002 |
| Achewood - March 20, 2002 | [[Phillippe by a doorway, wearing a tie in addition to his usual pants and shoes.]]
/ Phillippe: Well, now! What language is that you're speaking? / [[Ultra Peanut stands, hands folded]] / [[Tilts her head slightly]]
/ Ultra Peanut: Ni Hao? (written in Chinese) / [[Phillippe looks confused]] / [[Phillippe... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202002 |
| Achewood - March 20, 2002 | [[Phillippe by a doorway, wearing a tie in addition to his usual pants and shoes.]]
/ Phillippe: Well, now! What language is that you're speaking? / [[Ultra Peanut stands, hands folded]] / [[Tilts her head slightly]]
/ Ultra Peanut: Ni Hao? (written in Chinese) / [[Phillippe looks confused]] / [[Phillippe... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202002 |
| Achewood - March 20, 2002 | [[Phillippe by a doorway, wearing a tie in addition to his usual pants and shoes.]]
/ Phillippe: Well, now! What language is that you're speaking? / [[Ultra Peanut stands, hands folded]] / [[Tilts her head slightly]]
/ Ultra Peanut: Ni Hao? (written in Chinese) / [[Phillippe looks confused]] / [[Phillippe... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202002 |
| Achewood - March 20, 2003 | [[Everything is black]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh wow my first kiss
/ Roast Beef: This is the one I'll always cherish / Roast Beef: It's just like I always... dang what is that smell
/ Roast Beef: It's like I'm being stung by Marlboro Lights / [[Pause]] / Roast Beef: Oh no no no no no / [[Ray shouts, waving... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202003 |
| Achewood - March 20, 2006 | Ramses Luther Smuckles: This IS what you got yourself into, boy. / Ramses Luther Smuckles: Now, I know you think you got a full day of the Fight left, but rules is, if there only be two men standin', they got one hour 'til the Jeeps. / Ramses Luther Smuckles: I'll see one of you later. / Ray: O-Okay,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202006 |
| Achewood - March 20, 2006 | Ramses Luther Smuckles: This IS what you got yourself into, boy. / Ramses Luther Smuckles: Now, I know you think you got a full day of the Fight left, but rules is, if there only be two men standin', they got one hour 'til the Jeeps. / Ramses Luther Smuckles: I'll see one of you later. / Ray: O-Okay,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202006 |
| Achewood - March 20, 2008 | [[Laszlo's Cafe: The Underground. 2PM.]] / [[Philippe onstage with microphone]]
/ Philippe: My weird neighbor came by and started shooting her mouth off... now she has to eat through a tube in her arm...
/ Unseen Audience: Clap Clap Clap Clap / Philippe: Speaking of shooting... Sure, it's easy to shoot... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202008 |
| Achewood ? March 20, 2009 | [[Nice Pete, typing on his computer]]
/ Nice Pete: I am told by many that the "Wii" video game system is the one to beat the band. / Nice Pete: I am told that it appeals to elders, the Church, and all the others who took no truck with the video game notion in the first place. / [[Picture of a Wii]]
/ Nice... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202009 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2002 | [[Téodor, in tuxedo and with brilliantined hair, speaks to Roast Beef. Both are smoking.]] / Téodor: So, I guess we never really got introduced...I'm Téodor. / [[Roast Beef nods]] / Téodor: What...what's your name? / Roast Beef: Huh? / Téodor: I'm Téodor. What do they call you? / Roast Beef:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212002 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2002 | [[Téodor, in tuxedo and with brilliantined hair, speaks to Roast Beef, who is wearing a blank t-shirt. Both are smoking.]] / Téodor: So, I guess we never really got introduced...I'm Téodor. / [[Roast Beef nods]] / Téodor: What...what's your name? / Roast Beef: Huh? / Téodor: I'm Téodor. What... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212002 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2002 | [[Téodor, in tuxedo and with brilliantined hair, speaks to Roast Beef. Both are smoking.]]
/ Téodor: So, I guess we never really got introduced...I'm Téodor. / [[Roast Beef nods]] / Téodor: What...what's your name? / Roast Beef: Huh? / Téodor: I'm Téodor. What do they call you? / Roast Beef:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212002 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2002 | [[Téodor, in tuxedo and with brilliantined hair, speaks to Roast Beef. Both are smoking.]] / Téodor: So, I guess we never really got introduced...I'm Téodor. / [[Roast Beef nods]] / Téodor: What...what's your name? / Roast Beef: Huh? / Téodor: I'm Téodor. What do they call you? / Roast Beef:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212002 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2002 | [[Téodor, in tuxedo and with brilliantined hair, speaks to Roast Beef. Both are smoking.]] / Téodor: So, I guess we never really got introduced...I'm Téodor. / [[Roast Beef nods]] / Téodor: What...what's your name? / Roast Beef: Huh? / Téodor: I'm Téodor. What do they call you? / Roast Beef:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212002 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2003 | [[Roast Beef in a hospital bed, Ray hovering over him.]] / Ray: Beef! Beef! Are you okay?
/ Roast Beef: Dang what happened
/ Where's Molly / Ray: What are you talkin' about, Beef?
/ Who's Molly? / Roast Beef: Oh man I had this great apartment in heaven and there was this perfect... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212003 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2003 | [[Roast Beef lying in the bed. Ray is sitting on the bedside]]
/ Ray: Beef! Beef! Are you okay?
/ Roast Beef: Dang what happened
/ Roast Beef: Where's Molly / [[Closeup of Ray's face]]
/ Ray: What are you talkin' about, Beef?
/ Ray: Who's Molly? / [[Closeup of Roast Beef in the bed]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh man... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212003 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2003 | [[Roast Beef in a hospital bed, Ray hovering over him.]] / Ray: Beef! Beef! Are you okay?
/ Roast Beef: Dang what happened
/ Where's Molly / Ray: What are you talkin' about, Beef?
/ Who's Molly? / Roast Beef: Oh man I had this great apartment in heaven and there was this perfect... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212003 |
| The Jeeps take the field | [[Ray has just called out the tower's bluff to "bring on the jeeps". He stands in the middle of the field with Roast Beef.]] / RB: Oh crap Ray now they raisin' the gate here they come man what the hell we gonna do ? / Ray: How much Christian Brothers we got left in that bottle? / RB: Ray NO man now... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212006 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2007 | [[Inside of the video store Ray stands to the left of Pat. He is yanking a video case out of Pat's hands.]]
/ Ray: Daaamn, Pat! I didn't know you were gonna be at the video store! Whatchu gettin'?
/ Pat: None of your--GIVE ME THAT! / [[Ray holds the case up, reading the title.]]
/ Ray: Whoah. I don't... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212007 |
| Achewood - March 21, 2008 | [[Ray is asleep in bed. There is knocking at the door.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03212008 |
| Achewood - March 22, 2002 | [[Ray, martini in hand, chews on Roast Beef.]]
/ Ray: Grrr! Roas' beef! Mmmmm! / [[More of the same.]]
/ Ray: Grrr! GRRRR! / [[More of the same, Lie Bot with beer can be seen over their shoulders.]]
/ Ray: RRRR! RRRR!
/ Lie Bot: Ahem! Guess who died this morning?
/ Voice off-frame: Who, Lie Bot? / Lie... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222002 |
| Achewood - March 22, 2002 | [[Ray, drunk, martini in hand, chews on Roast Beef's shoulder; Roast Beef is just barely tolerating it.]]
/ Ray: Grrr! Roas' beef! Mmmmm! / [[More of the same.]]
/ Ray: Grrr! GRRRR! / [[More of the same, Lie Bot with beer can be seen over their shoulders.]]
/ Ray: RRRR! RRRR!
/ Lie Bot: Ahem! Guess who... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222002 |
| Achewood - March 22, 2002 | [[music notes appear above characters -- music is playing in the background]]
/ [[Ray, martini in hand, chews on Roast Beef.]]
/ Ray: Grrr! Roas' beef! Mmmmm! / [[More of the same.]]
/ Ray: Grrr! GRRRR! / [[More of the same, Lie Bot with beer can be seen over their shoulders.]]
/ Ray: RRRR! RRRR!
/ Lie... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222002 |
| Achewood - March 22, 2004 | ROAST BEEF: Oh listen remember dogg you were all kinds of saying about how Bono emailed you reminding you to try a Currywurst when you were in Berlin
/ RAY: Oh, yeah! Thanks, Beef! / RAY: Ein, Currywurst, Bitte!
/ DER MANN, DER DIE WÜRSTE VERKAUFT: MIT POMMES ODER BROT? / RAY: Heh! What?
/ DER MANN:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222004 |
| Achewood - March 22, 2005 | [[Ray, Roast Beef, and Chris are sitting around in armchairs]] / Ray: Dang, man! Fatherhood, huh? You even see the delivery? / Chris: Yeah, I was right there with the midwife. / Ray: So what does a human baby look like right when it first comes out? Spill it, O! / Chris [[Off-panel]]: Like a dead... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222005 |
| Achewood - March 22, 2005 | [[Ray, Roast Beef, and Chris are sitting around in armchairs, canned beverages in hands ]] / Ray: Dang, man! Fatherhood, huh? You even see the delivery? / [[Chris is wearing a shirt with the word "Coors" embroidered thereon. ]]
/ Chris: Yeah, I was right there with the midwife. / Ray: So what does... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222005 |
| Achewood - March 22, 2005 | [[Ray, Roast Beef, and Chris are sitting around in armchairs, drinking from cans.]]
/ Ray: Dang, man! Fatherhood, huh?
/ Ray: You even see the delivery? / Chris: Yeah, I was right there with the midwife. / Ray: So what does a human baby look like right when it first comes out? Spill it, O! / Chris [[Off-panel]]:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222005 |
| Commanding the Wrangler | Ray: YOU GONNA STAND THERE WITH YOUR BUTT ON THE BACK OF YOUR BODY OR ARE YOU GONNA GET IN ON THIS, BEEF? / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222006 |
| Achewood - March 22, 2007 | [[Close-up of Ray's hand holding a DVD case. The cover is titled:
/ Great, Great, (underlined) Great!
/ From the FINNISH
/ DOUBLE SUBTITLED
/ There is also a sticker with a Disabled sign and the words HOT PICK!]]
/ Ray: There! Video clerk sees you slap that down on the counter, his eyes don't even focus.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03222007 |
| Achewood - March 23, 2004 | [[Roast Beef stands by a sign reading "Erotische".]]
/ Roast Beef: Ray uh this Sex Museum is a real tourist trap dogg
/ We ought to take / [[Ray points at an exhibit. A sign reads "The MAN and the LADY".]]
/ Ray: Hey, LOOK! They got old reels of "Catfish" Lavender Cavendish!
/ Roast Beef: Who is that / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03232004 |
| Burning Down The Acres | [[Ray and Beef are in a jeep, driving away from the two other ones]]
/ < |
| Achewood - March 23, 2007 | {{Title: Weepy-Weep}}
/ [[Closeup on a stack of DVD cases. The top one reads "HOW TO WEEP / THE WEEPY-WEEP WAY / with Paul Castorzano." On it is a headshot of a man (presumably Paul Castorzano) weeping. In the corner is the word "ZOINKS!"]] / [[Ray and Pat stand over a table covered in DVD cases, paper,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03232007 |
| Achewood - March 23, 2007 | {{Title: Weepy-Weep}}
/ [[Closeup on a stack of DVD cases. The top one reads "HOW TO WEEP / THE WEEPY-WEEP WAY / with Paul Castorzano." On it is a headshot of a man (presumably Paul Castorzano) weeping. In the corner is the word "ZOINKS!"]] / [[Ray and Pat stand over a table covered in DVD cases, paper,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03232007 |
| Achewood § March 23, 2009 | [[Vlad is sitting at a desk, with a tie on, smoking and speaking into an old-fashioned microphone.]]
/ Vlad: So Chris the "cartoonist" says he is takink his family to Disney the Land all week, and is no comic.
/ Vlad: I call him wolf with clover in his teeth, and then I take over the gig. Is, "coup". / Vlad:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03232009 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03232010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03232010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - March 24, 2003 - HUGS, NOT BOMBS | [[Plane in sky]] / Teodor: Open the bomb bay doors, Ray / [[Plane with Philippe flying out]] / Philippe: huuuuugs
/ [[Philippe flying out the plane]] / Ray: Hug the Fuck out of 'em Philippe! http://achewood.com/?date=03242003 |
| Achewood - March 24, 2003 | open the bomb bay doors, ray
/ huuuuugs
/ hug the fuck out of 'em philippe
/ -james kochalka http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03242003 |
| Achewood - March 24, 2003 | [[Teodor is flying a bomber.]]
/ Teodor: Open the bomb bay doors, Ray
/ [[Long shot of Philippe jumping out of the plane. Philippe falls towards the ground.}}
/ Philippe: huuuuugs
/ [[Ray looks out the bomb bay doors.]]
/ Ray: Hug the fuck out of 'em Philippe!
/ {{alt text: www.americanelf.com}}
/ {{guest... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03242003 |
| Philippe Imagines Himself Into Death | [[Waiting patiently outside the Berlin Sex Museum]]
/ [[Lie-Bot extends his arm and taps Philippe on the shoulder facing away from him.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03242004 |
| Achewood - March 24, 2005 | Teodor: Philippe! Package for you! / Philippe: It's from mom! / Philippe: [Opening Package] Oh boy! It's Walk-Around-Butt! / Philippe: I can't wait to try it out! YES! / Philippe: [Singing, wearing butt] Walk-Around Butt! When you wear it, you're a nut! / Philippe: [Still singing, wearing butt]... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03242005 |
| Achewood - March 24, 2005 | Teodor: Philippe! Package for you! / Philippe: It's from mom! / Philippe: [Opening Package] Oh boy! It's Walk-Around-Butt! / Philippe: I can't wait to try it out! YES! / Philippe: [Singing, wearing butt] Walk-Around Butt! When you wear it, you're a nut! / Philippe: [Still singing, wearing butt]... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03242005 |
| Philippe's New Walk-Around Butt | Teodor: Philippe! Package for you! / Philippe: It's from mom! / Philippe: [Opening Package] Oh boy! It's Walk-Around-Butt! / Philippe: I can't wait to try it out! YES! / Philippe: [Singing, wearing butt] Walk-Around Butt! When you wear it, you're a nut! / Philippe: [Still singing, wearing butt]... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03242005 |
| Achewood - March 24, 2005 | [[Teodor enters carrying a package]]
/ Teodor: Philippe! Package for you! / Philippe: It's from mom! / [[Philippe opens the package]]
/ Philippe: Oh boy! It's Walk-Around-Butt! / [[An image of the present, displayed as on an advertisement: a pair of artificial buttocks on a belt.]]
/ Philippe: I can't... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03242005 |
| Leaving The Acres | [[Ray and Beef get out of the jeep and into the motorcycle. The jeep is on fire]]
/ < |
| Achewood - March 24, 2008 | [[Black panel with small dot of white in center]]
/ "BEEF? ROAST BEEF? I AM A PROSTITUTE." / [[Beef, staring down at something]] / [[Beef, still staring]] / [[Beef turns toward reader]] / [[Beef turns around with expression of surprise]] / [[Beef, staring down at thing that surprised him]] / [[View... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03242008 |
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