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| Achewood - June 17, 2003 | [[Ray and Beef are sitting in easy chairs]]
/ Ray: What kind of wedding would you want if you ever got married, Beef? / [[Beef is despondent]]
/ Beef: Oh uh I think you got me confused with somebody else who is actually appealing to a lady and would ever have a future which is basically not defined by... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172003 |
| Achewood - June 17, 2003 | [[Ray and Beef are sitting in easy chairs]]
/ Ray: What kind of wedding would you want if you ever got married, Beef? / [[Beef is despondent]]
/ Beef: Oh uh I think you got me confused with somebody else who is actually appealing to a lady and would ever have a future which is basically not defined by... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172003 |
| Achewood - June 17, 2004 | Teodor: Okay, why do you want to have a meeting with Mexico? / Philippe: It's just a general purpose meeting so we can meet each other.
/ Philippe: Do you think you can make some cakes and hamburgers and stuff? / Teodor: For the President of Mexico?
/ Philippe: At first I thought tacos would be fun,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172004 |
| Rod Huggins II | [[Rod Huggins and Téodor are on the set of the SoftBoy porno "Picnic Panic". Téodoris in a bandana, sunglasses and a torn shirt.]]
/ Jim (OS): Crap, the camera's dead. You guys have a couple Brandy Alexanders while the battery charges. / [[Rod and Téodorwith their drinks.]]
/ Caption: SOON.
/ Rod Huggins:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172005 |
| Rod Huggins II | [[Rod Huggins and Téodor are on the set of the SoftBoy porno "Picnic Panic". Téodoris in a bandana, sunglasses and a torn shirt.]]
/ Jim (OS): Crap, the camera's dead. You guys have a couple Brandy Alexanders while the battery charges. / [[Rod and Téodorwith their drinks.]]
/ Caption: SOON.
/ Rod Huggins:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172005 |
| Achewood - June 17, 2008 (The Serious Men of Bread Convene.) | [[Ramses Luther Smuckles and Iorwerth Sanders (Molly's father) are discussing Beef and Molly's wedding present.]] / Ramses:Well I'll be damned. The 8-cup KitchenAid DOESN'T come with the dough hook attachment.
/ Ramses: Why in hell'd these kids register for such a sassafras doodad? / Iorwerth: In my... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172008 |
| Achewood - June 18, 2004 | Roast Beef: But where do they go from here Trouble Man? / Trouble Man: Some write to say they get a pass on down to the old jumpin' dirt...
/ Trouble Man: When they collect on a bum ticket such as your Miss Molly's / Roast Beef: Man how do I get on down back there to see her can you help me
/ Trouble... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06182004 |
| Achewood - June 18, 2004 | Roast Beef: But where do they go from here Trouble Man? / Trouble Man: Some write to say they get a pass on down to the old jumpin' dirt...
/ Trouble Man: When they collect on a bum ticket such as your Miss Molly's / Roast Beef: Man how do I get on down back there to see her can you help me
/ Trouble... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06182004 |
| Achewood - June 18, 2007 | [[Pat is watching the series premiere of Bailiffs of Witchclyde, "Showing now on KQED9"]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06182007 |
| Achewood - June 18, 2008 | [[Roast Beef is tossing and turning in his sleep. Everyone in his dream sounds like Beef...]
/ Roast Beef's dream: If there is anyone here who knows a just cause why there two should not lawfully be joined in marriage, I implore you to speak now, or forever hold your peace. / [[At the wedding, Molly... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06182008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06182009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06182009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06182010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06182010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 19, 2003 | [[Ray and Roast Beef are each sitting in an armchair.]]
/ Ray: Remember when we were kids, and we could spend all day just jumpin' our bikes? Totally catchin' some air, biggest thrill in the world... / Roast Beef: All wreckin' and smashin' my junk on the crossbar
/ Roast Beef: All unable to breathe for... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06192003 |
| Achewood - June 19, 2006 - The Badass Games 5 | {{Mouseover: "Who better to symbolize Father's Day than Magnus Intactus"}} / [[Ray is addressing the Baddass Competitors, Roast Beef is beside him drinking coffee.]]
/ Ray: Alright men, the correct answer was C, the ZZ Top Eliminator.
/ Lyle, Cornelius, congratulations. / Ray: As you know, the Eliminator... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06192006 |
| Achewood - June 19, 2006 - The Badass Games 5 | {{Mouseover: "Who better to symbolize Father's Day than Magnus Intactus"}} / [[Ray is addressing the Baddass Competitors, Roast Beef is beside him drinking coffee.]]
/ Ray: Alright men, the correct answer was C, the ZZ Top Eliminator.
/ Lyle, Cornelius, congratulations. / Ray: As you know, the Eliminator... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06192006 |
| Achewood - June 19, 2006 - The Badass Games 5 | {{Mouseover: "Who better to symbolize Father's Day than Magnus Intactus"}} / [[Ray is addressing the Baddass Competitors, Roast Beef is beside him drinking coffee.]]
/ Ray: Alright men, the correct answer was C, the ZZ Top Eliminator.
/ Lyle, Cornelius, congratulations. / Ray: As you know, the Eliminator... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06192006 |
| Help, my friend is a church! | {{The left side panels are shaded, indicating that they may be Roast Beef's dream/fantasy whereas the right side is what's happening in real life.}} / {{LEFT PANELS}}
/ [[An old TV set with twist knobs and antenna on top.]]
/ Voice in TV: In Soviet Russia, Bea Arthur says dyke is YOU! / [[A young Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06192007 |
| Achewood - June 19, 2008 | [[Showbiz is talking on a cordless phone, looking angry]]
/ Showbiz: Ha ha! Yeah, it's like, once he marries this bitch, it's bye-bye cash flow! She's totally gonna shut me down! / Showbiz: 'Course I got a plan, man! I'm gonna take pictures of him doin' a stripper down in Acapulco Mexico! / Showbiz:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06192008 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2002 | [[Roast Beef watches, smoking, while Pat puts the finishing touches on a rocket ship. Pat is wearing that awful pork-pie hat of his.]]
/ Roast Beef: What are you gonna do with the rocket ship now that you got it done Pat
/ Pat: Well, obviously I am going to travel into outer space! / Roast Beef: Have... http://achewood.com/?date=06202002 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2002 | [[Roast Beef watches, smoking, while Pat fiddles with something inside a small hatch on the side of a rocket ship. Pat is wearing that awful pork-pie hat of his.]]
/ Roast Beef: What are you gonna do with the rocket ship now that you got it done Pat
/ Pat: Well, obviously I am going to travel into outer... http://achewood.com/?date=06202002 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2002 | [[Pat is tinkering with his rocket ship. Roast Beef is smoking.]]
/ Roast Beef: What are you gonna do with the rocket ship now that you got it done Pat
/ Pat: Well, obviously I am going to travel into outer space! / [[Roast Beef is melancholoy]]
/ Roast Beef: Have you always had like a dream of that or... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202002 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | Teador: Check it out Ray
/ Teador: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Teador: Ain't that odd / Ray: Man, that cat already knew how to use the goddamn toilet.
/ Ray: Call cats know how to use the damn toilet. / Nightlife: That's right,... http://achewood.com/?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | Teador: Check it out Ray
/ Teador: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Teador: Ain't that odd / Ray: Man, that cat already knew how to use the goddamn toilet.
/ Ray: Call cats know how to use the damn toilet. / Nightlife: That's right,... http://achewood.com/?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | Roast Beef: Check it out Ray
/ Roast Beef: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Roast Beef: Ain't that odd / Ray: Man, that cat already knew how to use the goddamn toilet.
/ Ray: Call cats know how to use the damn toilet. / Nightlife: That's... http://achewood.com/?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | Roast Beef: Check it out Ray
/ Roast Beef: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Roast Beef: Ain't that odd / Ray: Man, that cat already knew how to use the goddamn toilet.
/ Ray: Call cats know how to use the damn toilet. / Nightlife:... http://achewood.com/?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | [[Roast Beef is reading a pamphlet]]
/ Roast Beef: Check it out Ray
/ Roast Beef: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Roast Beef: Ain't that odd / {{Meta-comic information}}http://www.mingusmingusmingus.com/ownwords/catcatalog.html / [[Ray,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | [[Roast Beef is reading a pamphlet]]
/ Roast Beef: Check it out Ray
/ Roast Beef: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Roast Beef: Ain't that odd / {{Meta-comic information}}http://www.mingusmingusmingus.com/ownwords/catcatalog.html / [[Ray,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | [[Roast Beef is reading a pamphlet]]
/ Roast Beef: Check it out Ray
/ Roast Beef: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Roast Beef: Ain't that odd / {{Meta-comic information}}http://www.mingusmingusmingus.com/ownwords/catcatalog.html / [[Ray,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | [[Roast Beef is reading a pamphlet]]
/ Roast Beef: Check it out Ray
/ Roast Beef: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Roast Beef: Ain't that odd / {{Meta-comic information}}http://www.mingusmingusmingus.com/ownwords/catcatalog.html / [[Ray,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | [[Roast Beef is reading a pamphlet]]
/ Roast Beef: Check it out Ray
/ Roast Beef: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Roast Beef: Ain't that odd / {{Meta-comic information}}http://www.mingusmingusmingus.com/ownwords/catcatalog.html / [[Ray,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2003 | [[Roast Beef is reading a pamphlet]]
/ Roast Beef: Check it out Ray
/ Roast Beef: Apparently Charles Mingus at one point wrote a little pamphlet on how to get a cat to use the toilet
/ Roast Beef: Ain't that odd / {{Meta-comic information}}http://www.mingusmingusmingus.com/ownwords/catcatalog.html / [[Ray,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202003 |
| Achewood - June 20, 2005 | {{Teodor is on the a SoftBoy porn set with Rod Huggins. He has recently made a startling revelation.}}
/ Teodor: I--wait. This is gay? Did Jim's battery really die, or did he just duck out so you could let me off gracefully? / Rod Huggins: You catch up quick for someone who catches on so slow.
/ Teodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202005 |
| Bachelor Pre-Party | [[Beef washes dishes while Showbiz sits on the couch]]
/ Beef: Alright shoot uh well dogg just two weeks until I'm married I guess
/ Showbiz: That's right, chief! I'm with ya every step of the way! / Beef: So we only got like so much time left to party in
/ Beef: How does you and me and a six pack of Tequiza... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202012&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06202012&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - June 21, 2002 | [[Extreme long shot of Pat's rocket ship as it flies into the air over mountains.]]
/ Roast Beef (V.O.): Man this is actually a pretty decent rocket ship Pat made
/ Wow are those Altoids / [[Close-up on Beef's face, looking through the rocket ship's porthole at the Earth, visible at lower right.]]
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212002 |
| Achewood - June 21, 2002 | [[Extreme long shot of Pat's rocket ship as it flies into the air over mountains.]]
/ Roast Beef (voice-over): Man this is actually a pretty decent rocket ship Pat made
/ Wow are those Altoids / [[Close-up on Beef's face, looking through the rocket ship's porthole at the Earth, visible at lower right.]]
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212002 |
| Achewood - June 21, 2004 | [[Outside Roast Beef's house, laughter]] / Roast Beef: Here comes the airplane headed for the zoo
/ Roast Beef: All that means is some kisses for you / [[Roast Beef and Molly kiss]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212004 |
| Achewood - June 21, 2004 | [[Outside Roast Beef's house, laughter]] / Roast Beef: Here comes the airplane headed for the zoo
/ Roast Beef: All that means is some kisses for you / [[Roast Beef and Molly kiss]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212004 |
| Achewood - June 21, 2005 | [[Beef outside his car; he finds a paper underneath the windshield wiper]]
/ Roast Beef: Oh now just what in hell is this / [[Closeup of his hand reaching for the paper]]
/ Roast Beef: Better not be no love letter from a snake / [[Beef, reading paper]]
/ Roast Beef: DAMMIT it is ! / [[Paper text:
/ DEPARTMENT... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212005 |
| Cornelius wins the badass games | [[Ray and Roast Beef are standing in front of Pat, Lyle, Vlad, Cornelius, and Teodor. Ray has a clipboard in his hands. Ray is announcing the result of the BADASS GAMES.]]
/ Ray: Men, you have competed in four events, and the results have been surprising. / [[Cut to Teodor by himself. Ray speaks from... http://achewood.com/?date=06212006 |
| Achewood - June 21, 2006 - Badass Games 7 | {{Mouseover: "Cornelius also has a field trip van with clerestory windows"}} / Ray: Men, you have competed in four events, and the results have been surprising. / Ray: Téodor, we hoped you would shine during the cooking event, but you folded with a focus and intensity normally seen only in successes. / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212006 |
| Achewood - June 21, 2006 - Badass Games 7 | {{Mouseover: "Cornelius also has a field trip van with clerestory windows"}} / Ray: Men, you have competed in four events, and the results have been surprising. / Ray: Téodor, we hoped you would shine during the cooking event, but you folded with a focus and intensity normally seen only in successes. / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212006 |
| Achewood - June 21, 2006 - Badass Games 7 | {{Mouseover: "Cornelius also has a field trip van with clerestory windows"}} / Ray: Men, you have competed in four events, and the results have been surprising. / Ray: Téodor, we hoped you would shine during the cooking event, but you folded with a focus and intensity normally seen only in successes. / Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212006 |
| Achewood - June 21, 2007 | [[Young Ray and Roast Beef are shown. Ray is wearing sunglasses and Beef has black hair.]]
/ Ray: THis guy Ed Gredby just got killed in a truck fire! They said he couldn't get out, so his friend shot him in the head before he could burn to death! / [[Cut to young Ray and Roast Beef, apparently in another... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212007 |
| Achewood - June 22, 2004 | [[Roast Beef and Ray on the phone]]
/ Ray: Beef! Come on out, man! You ain't left the house since you got back! Come on over and let's crack us open some-
/ Roast Beef: Yeah Ray I am uh basically indisposed right now / Ray: What's up, man? You ain't left the house since you came back! I mentioned this!
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06222004 |
| Achewood - June 22, 2004 | [[Roast Beef and Ray on the phone]]
/ Ray: Beef! Come on out, man! You ain't left the house since you got back! Come on over and let's crack us open some-
/ Roast Beef: Yeah Ray I am uh basically indisposed right now / Ray: What's up, man? You ain't left the house since you came back! I mentioned this!
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06222004 |
| Achewood - June 22, 2005 | Teodor: Circus Penis? Yeah, This is Teodor! / Teodor: I... Troy Harlem! You sent me to stud in "SoftBoys: Picnic Panic"? Yeah, that's me! / Teodor: Well, that's because I AM grouchy! / Teodor: Why? Because you sent me to star in a gay porn film and didn't tell me! / Teodor: Is this how you haze new... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06222005 |
| Friday Facts - Lyle's New Glasses | [[A page from Philippe's newspaper, the Philippe Times.]]
/ The Philippe Times. Back Page Health Note: Don't put your tongue on a 9-volt battery. Vol.9 No.7
/ Friday Facts!
/ by Philippe, editor-in-chief!
/ [[A graphic of Philippe, mid-sneeze. Caption reads: Again with the sneezes!]]
/ DID YOU KNOW...
/ ***ALERT!***
/ LYLE... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06222007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06222010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06222010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Golfing With Nightlife | [[On a golf course. Ray is swinging a golf club, Nightlife Mingus is smoking a large joint.]]
/ Nightlife: Man, you really got a thing for the swing, Ray. You are something of a natural man of golf.
/ Ray: Heh! Thanks! You think so? / Nightlife: I think the tea really brings out your waltz time, brother.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06232003 |
| Achewood - June 23, 2004 | [[Roast Beef and Pat are standing by the pool]]
/ Roast Beef: So how you been Pat what it is
/ Pat: Been gettin' in shape, boy! / Roast Beef: Like you are jogging now and such as eating scallops / Pat: No, no, no. Total body fitness - cardio, aerobics, strength training, diet, the works! Even got me... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06232004 |
| Achewood - June 23, 2004 | [[Roast Beef and Pat are standing by the pool]]
/ Roast Beef: So how you been Pat what it is
/ Pat: Been gettin' in shape, boy! / Roast Beef: Like you are jogging now and such as eating scallops / Pat: No, no, no. Total body fitness - cardio, aerobics, strength training, diet, the works! Even got me... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06232004 |
| Achewood - June 23, 2009 | [[Roast Beef and Pat are standing by the pool]]
/ Roast Beef: So how you been Pat what it is
/ Pat: Been gettin' in shape, boy! / Roast Beef: Like you are jogging now and such as eating scallops / Pat: No, no, no. Total body fitness - cardio, aerobics, strength training, diet, the works! Even got me... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06232004 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/?date=06232005">http://achewood.com/?date=06232005 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
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