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| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12212007">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12212007 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood § December 21, 2009 | Prosciuttolax® (Helpanferin DX) / [[Ray is kneeling, looking at a tulip.]]
/ Ray: I wasn't born with the gene that says, "Stop eatin' prosciutto." / [[Roast Beef is standing, watching Ray, wearing a polo shirt.]]
/ Roast Beef: I was. / [[He holds out a steering wheel.]]
/ Roast Beef: Cars are easy for... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12212009 |
| Achewood - December 22, 2003 | {{Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd T. Squirrel}} / [[Roast Beef sits at a diner table in Hell holding the menu.]]
/ Beef: Oh damn my gravy. No way / [[At another table, looking through the menu, is Todd]]
/ Beef: Todd?! / Beef: Todd is that you? Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd T. Squirrel? / Todd: Oh hey Beef! Whatcha... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222003 |
| Achewood - December 22, 2003 | Roast Beef: Oh damn my gravy
/ Roast Beef: No way / Roast Beef: Todd ?! / Roast Beef: Todd is that you ?
/ Roast Beef: Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd T. Squirrel ? / Todd: Oh hey Beef! Whatcha d-d-doin' down in Hades?
/ Roast Beef: I was gonna ask you the same thing dude / Todd: Eh, I got peeled out on by... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222003 |
| Achewood - December 22, 2004 | Mr. Bear: What has gotten into you two? Why the false manes?
/ Ray: We were hell of sad we had no manes, dogg! Our ancestors did!
/ Roast Beef: Are you getting an idea for your next children's book from this Cornelius
/ Mr. Bear: Well, a parable of cats who want to be tigers again has enormous...are you... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222004 |
| Judi Dench's Three Pound Underwear | Mr. Bear: What has gotten into you two? Why the false manes?
/ Ray: We were hell of sad we had no manes, dogg! Our ancestors did!
/ Roast Beef: Are you getting an idea for your next children's book from this Cornelius
/ Mr. Bear: Well, a parable of cats who want to be tigers again has enormous...are you... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222004 |
| Achewood - December 22, 2006 | [[Nice Pete is holding a microphone]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222006 |
| Achewood - December 22, 2006 | [[Nice Pete is holding a microphone]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222006 |
| Achewood - December 22, 2006 | [[Nice Pete is holding a microphone]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222006 |
| Achewood - December 22, 2006 | [[Nice Pete is facing front, holding a microphone near his mouth as though he is rehearsing.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222006 |
| Achewood - December 22, 2006 | [[Nice Pete is holding a microphone]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222006 |
| Achewood § December 22, 2008 | [[White on black "1984" sets the date]] / [[Young Ray and Beef with appropriate aviator glasses and 80s hair]]
/ Ray: Dude! Waldenbooks keeps their extra Playboys in a little cabinet right by the entrance! You just slide open the door and walk out with one rolled up in your hand! / Beef: Oh wow uh that... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222008 |
| Achewood § December 22, 2009 | {{Title: OUT-OF-CHARACTER KOMIX!}}
/ Todd: Dickens was well-keen on the device of the aptronym, such a crude tool still having literary value in that unsubtle t-t-time. / Todd: W-Witness Miss Havisham, a hyperbolic, once-betrayed malevolent spinster whose unilateral purpose is to further the agenda that... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222009 |
| Achewood - December 23, 2002 | [[Single panel, white text on black.]]
/ [[in the upper left hand corner]]
/ JOE STRUMMER
/ 1952-2002
/ [[Text dead center]]
/ Hands full of milk money and bike locks, in garages full of dad's tools and scraps, I home-made my first skateboard to thirdhand dubs of Ghetto Defendant and Death Is A Star
/ [[Teodor... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12232002 |
| Achewood - December 23, 2003 | [[Exterior scene of Friendly's restaurant, with $5.99 Burger Basket banner on front]]
/ Roast Beef: Shucks Todd. I ain't seeing no hidden page in this menu. / [[Interior scene, profile of Todd in booth.]]
/ Todd: Just relax y-y-your eyes. Let 'em go outta focus. / [[Roast Beef looking at menu.]] / [[Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12232003 |
| Achewood - December 23, 2004 | {{alt text: Chickenhead Mary, Be Not Proud}}
/ [[at Mr. Bear's window]]
/ Mr. Bear: Ah, I see how it is. You two are out hell-raising. Well, consider this my port's kibosh. I'm rather busy.
/ Ray: Come on, Cornelius! Get Primal and let's go pick up some ass at The Smoke! How long's it been since you... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12232004 |
| Pat's eco-telligent best-stitutes | [[Ray and Pat]]
/ [[Pat has a grocery bag]]
/ Pat: Ray! I heard you were on a restricted diet! Good for you. I've brought over some of my favorite eco-telligent best-stitutes for you to try. / [[Pat starts to get something out of the bag]]
/ Ray: Huh? Man, I ain't want any -
/ Pat: Annie's Almond Animal... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12232005 |
| Pat's eco-telligent best-stitutes | [[Ray and Pat]]
/ [[Pat has a grocery bag]]
/ Pat: Ray! I heard you were on a restricted diet! Good for you. I've brought over some of my favorite eco-telligent best-stitutes for you to try. / [[Pat starts to get something out of the bag]]
/ Ray: Huh? Man, I ain't want any -
/ Pat: Annie's Almond Animal... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12232005 |
| Pat's eco-telligent best-stitutes | [[Ray and Pat]]
/ [[Pat has a grocery bag]]
/ Pat: Ray! I heard you were on a restricted diet! Good for you. I've brought over some of my favorite eco-telligent best-stitutes for you to try. / [[Pat starts to get something out of the bag]]
/ Ray: Huh? Man, I ain't want any -
/ Pat: Annie's Almond Animal... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12232005 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12232009">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12232009 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| The Afterlife | Todd: So what's the afterlife like, Blister? / Blister: IT IS PRETTY AWESOME TODD / Blister: THERE ARE NO RULES AND YOU JUST GET TO GO CRAZY / Todd: Wow! Sweet reward, here I come! / Blister: YOU CANNOT KILL YOURSELF THOUGH / Blister: YOU HAVE TO DIE FOR REAL / Todd: What a drag! I gotta wait? / << http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242001 |
| The Afterlife | Todd: So what's the afterlife like, Blister?
/ Blister: IT IS PRETTY AWESOME TODD / Blister: THERE ARE NO RULES AND YOU JUST GET TO GO CRAZY / Todd: Wow! Sweet reward, here I come!
/ Blister: YOU CANNOT KILL YOURSELF THOUGH
/ Blister: YOU HAVE TO DIE FOR REAL / Todd: What a drag! I gotta wait?
/ << http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242001 |
| The Afterlife | Todd: So what's the afterlife like, Blister?
/ Blister: IT IS PRETTY AWESOME TODD / Blister: THERE ARE NO RULES AND YOU JUST GET TO GO CRAZY / Todd: Wow! Sweet reward, here I come!
/ Blister: YOU CANNOT KILL YOURSELF THOUGH
/ Blister: YOU HAVE TO DIE FOR REAL / Todd: What a drag! I gotta wait?
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242001 |
| The Afterlife | Todd: So what's the afterlife like, Blister?
/ Blister: IT IS PRETTY AWESOME TODD / Blister: THERE ARE NO RULES AND YOU JUST GET TO GO CRAZY / Todd: Wow! Sweet reward, here I come!
/ Blister: YOU CANNOT KILL YOURSELF THOUGH
/ Blister: YOU HAVE TO DIE FOR REAL / Todd: What a drag! I gotta wait?
/ Blister:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242001 |
| Christmas Eve with Ray | [[Ray is sitting in a bathroom stall behind the closed door. Ray's feet can be seen under the stall door, his thong round his ankles.]]
/ Ray: Holy dang! It's Christmas Eve! I completely forgot! / [[Inside the stall. Intoxicated and holding a glass, Ray looks at a vending machine.]]
/ Ray: I should get... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242002 |
| Christmas Eve with Ray | [[Ray is sitting in a bathroom stall behind the closed door. Ray's feet can be seen under the stall door, his thong round his ankles.]]
/ Ray: Holy dang! It's Christmas Eve! I completely forgot! / [[Inside the stall. Intoxicated and holding a glass, Ray looks at a vending machine.]]
/ Ray: I should get... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242002 |
| Achewood - December 24, 2003 | [[Roast Beef, reading the Friendly's menu]]
/ Roast Beef: Man that ain't no riddle
/ Roast Beef: Just an extremely rude personal question / Todd: What? What are you talkin' about? / [[Roast Beef looking puzzled]] / Roast Beef: Todd when you see the riddle is it kind of a nasty type thing about private... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242003 |
| Achewood - December 24, 2004 | [[The single panel depicts page 1 of 18 of a (guitar?) tab, and a ``scholar's note'' for the music, over a background image of a flowering vine growing outside a window.]]
/ Tab heading: Sheet music for ``Sullivan's Bear and Dried Bird' ca. 1901''
/ Playing notes: Standard Tuning, p=pull off, h=hammer... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242004 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242007">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242007 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood § December 24, 2008 | [[white title on black background]]Christmas Eve - 1981
/ [[exterior of the "Big-Save Laundromat," sign on door says "closing midnight"]]
/ [[young Roast Beef sits on a hard chair holding his knees, thinking to himself]]
/ Roast Beef: Mom was faster by thirty seconds this time
/ Roast Beef: Dryer One... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12242008 |
| Achewood - December 25, 2001 | [[The corner of a building, against a night sky. The gutter is leaking. An outline of Téodor is drawn in the lower-left corner.]] / {{Alt-text: snif}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12252001 |
| Achewood - December 25, 2003 - Philippe on Christmas | {{Guest strip by John Allison of Scarygoround}}
/ [[Philippe amid fir trees and snow.]]
/ Philippe (narrating): Christmas is an exciting time for me, Philippe. I like to imagine the presents that Santa Claus will bring me. / [[Philippe in front of a fireplace. A stocking marked "P" is hanging from the... http://achewood.com/?date=12252003 |
| Achewood - December 25, 2003 | Guest Strip by John Allison of Scarygoround. / Philippe on Christmas
/ Philippe: Christmas is an exciting time for me, Philippe. I like to imagine the presents that Santa Claus will bring me. / Philippe: I put out a vodka Martini for him, and some nachos! I like to think he will like these things. / Philippe:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12252003 |
| Sex Funeral | Lyle: Welcome to Reality! Welcome to the Hard Life! Welcome to the Blues!
/ Squirrel (todd?): Yeah!
/ squirrel 2 (todd?): Yeah! / Lyle: Welcome to... SEX FUNERAL!
/ Squirrel (todd?): Right on!
/ squirrel 2 (todd?): Yeah! Right on! / Lyle: But you didn't come here just because you wanted to play the Blues,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12262001 |
| Sex Funeral | Lyle: Welcome to Reality! Welcome to the Hard Life! Welcome to the Blues!
/ Squirrel 1: Yeah!
/ Squirrel 2: Yeah!
/ [[Lyle pumps fist; squirrels raise arms in the air]] / Lyle: Welcome to... SEX FUNERAL!
/ Squirrel 1: Right on!
/ Squirrel 2: Yeah! Right on! / Lyle: But you didn't come here just because... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12262001 |
| Sex Funeral | [[Title: Band Tryouts]] / Lyle: Welcome to Reality! Welcome to the Hard Life! Welcome to the Blues!
/ Squirrel (todd?): Yeah!
/ squirrel 2 (todd?): Yeah! / Lyle: Welcome to... SEX FUNERAL!
/ Squirrel (todd?): Right on!
/ squirrel 2 (todd?): Yeah! Right ON! / Lyle: But you didn't come here just because... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12262001 |
| Achewood - December 26, 2003 | {{guest strip by Andrice Arp of hi-horse titled 'Some Haiku for Achewood'}} / Roast Beef: Inexorably | sadness descends, unfailing. | meets its mark always / {{drawing of Teodor cooking but distracted by a middle finger, presumably Lyle's}}
/ Teodor: Districated by Lyle | balsamic reduction burned |... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12262003 |
| Achewood - December 26, 2005 | [[A collage of photos take at the "Achewood Production Facilities, 2005". Top Left: Screenprinting setup. Top Right: Stacks of T-shirts and screen prints. Bottom Right: More screen prints, boxes and some adorable little model houses on a window sill. Bottom Left: A stack of screen prints in paper... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12262005 |
| Achewood - December 26, 2006 | < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12262006 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12262007">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12262007 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - December 27, 2001 | [[Philippe and Teodor are alone in a room. Teodor stands behing Philippe, covering his eyes. There is a small pile of bottles in the corner.]]
/ Teodor: Merry Crishmash, Philippe!
/ Philippe: Oooh! Merry Christmas, Teodor! / [[Lyle enters right, staggering with bottle in hand.]]
/ Teodor: Here comes... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12272001 |
| Belated Christmas strip | [[Philippe and Téodor are alone in a room. Téodor stands behind Philippe, covering his eyes. There is a small pile of bottles to the rear. Teodor emits drunk-bubbles.]]
/ Téodor: Merry Crishmash, Philippe!
/ Philippe: Oooh! Merry Christmas, Téodor! / [[Lyle enters right, staggering with bottle in hand.]]
/ Téodor:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12272001 |
| Achewood - December 27, 2004 | [[Ray is sleeping in bed]]
/ Charlie Brown: Good grief! Get up, Ray! It's almost three in the afternoon! / Ray: Huh? Oh, man! Charlie Brown! I...I through you were dead! / Charlie Brown: What an awful thing to say to me! I'm like nine years old!
/ Ray: God, I'm sorry man. I never know how things like... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12272004 |
| Charlie Brown, you died | [[Ray is sleeping in bed]]
/ Charlie Brown: Good grief! Get up, Ray! It's almost three in the afternoon! / Ray: Huh? Oh, man! Charlie Brown! I...I through you were dead! / Charlie Brown: What an awful thing to say to me! I'm like nine years old!
/ Ray: God, I'm sorry man. I never know how things like... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12272004 |
| Achewood Winter Break 2005, Day 2 | [[Caption: "Dear Reader: Enjoy these photos taken in and around the Achewood production facilities, 2005. We will see you soon. Happy holidays!" The panel contains various photos pasted into one image. Objects seen include:
/ A large pencil-drawn picture of Roast Beef opening a canned beverage while... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12272005 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12272007">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12272007 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - December 28, 2001 | Teodor: Whoah! Is that a movie of my birth, Lie Bot?
/ Lie Bot: It sure is!
/ TV: It's a boy!
/ Teodor: Wow! What else do you have?
/ Lie Bot: I also have a movie of your death - April 28, 2005.
/ Teodor: Show me!
/ Lie Bot: It's not the sort of thing a guy oughtta watch, you know?
/ Teodor: Whatever. I don't... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12282001 |
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