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| Achewood - February 22, 2005 | TEODOR: Hey Ray, do you hve any-- what's with the big outfit? / RAY: Oh! Teodor! I'm, well, I'm playin' a little on-line strip poker. Go downstairs and I'll be along in a bit! / TEODOR: Wow, webcams and everything! / [[Teodor looks quizzical.]] / TEODOR: Hey, all the other players are guys too.
/ RAY:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222005 |
| Guaranteed Honky-Tonk-Style blowjob | [[Ray has his arms crossed]] / [[Cody Travis is walking towards Ray, either humming or whistling]] / Travis: You the peckerwood pretendin' he's the son of Rodney Stubbs?
/ Ray: That depends! Are you the Guaranteed Honky-Tonk Style Blowjob I ordered from Room Service just now? / [[Travis punches Ray... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222006 |
| Achewood - February 22, 2007 | Teodor: Hey, guys! What's goin' on?
/ Beef: Oh uh we celebratin' that Ray finally graduated from ass man to breast man / Teodor: Seriously? I was startin' to wonder about you, you chowderhead!
/ Ray: Are... are ALL my dudes breast men? / Teodor: Here, let me order you a Breast Man. They make a really... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222007 |
| Achewood - February 22, 2007 | Teodor: Hey, guys! What's goin' on?
/ Beef: Oh uh we celebratin' that Ray finally graduated from ass man to breast man / Teodor: Seriously? I was startin' to wonder about you, you chowderhead!
/ Ray: Are... are ALL my dudes breast men? / Teodor: Here, let me order you a Breast Man. They make a really... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222007 |
| Achewood - February 22, 2007 | Teodor: Hey, guys! What's goin' on?
/ Beef: Oh uh we celebratin' that Ray finally graduated from ass man to breast man / Teodor: Seriously? I was startin' to wonder about you, you chowderhead!
/ Ray: Are... are ALL my dudes breast men? / Teodor: Here, let me order you a Breast Man. They make a really... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222007 |
| Achewood - February 22, 2007 | Teodor: Hey, guys! What's goin' on?
/ Beef: Oh uh we celebratin' that Ray finally graduated from ass man to breast man / Teodor: Seriously? I was startin' to wonder about you, you chowderhead!
/ Ray: Are... are ALL my dudes breast men? / Teodor: Here, let me order you a Breast Man. They make a really... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222007 |
| Achewood - February 22, 2008 | {{Philippe at home}}
/ Philippe: I want to go to Disneylaaand! I think I have to go to Disneylaaaaaaand! / {{Lyle, Teodor, Lie Bot, Ray, Roast Beef in front of "HARPER'S 27 WOMEN Dancers - Liquor - Pool" dialogue spoken generally}}
/ YEAH, man! FUCK this week!
/ I'm so glad it's Friday man I'd piss into... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222008 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02222010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Ray's Hemorrhoid | [[Roast Beef is eating from a bowl, Ray limps up to the table holding a tube of ointment]]
/ Roast Beef: Why you all limpin' around Ray / Ray: I got a damn hemorrhoid, man! / Roast Beef: I've never had one of those
/ Roast Beef: Is it pretty bad / Ray: It feels like a bee damn stung me on my Gentleness! / Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02232004 |
| Achewood - February 23, 2005 | [[Teodor and Roast Beef are in the kitchen]]
/ Teodor: So, how are things with you and Molly? / [[Zoom in]] / [[Roast Beef stands alone]] / [[Roast Beef has a knife]] / [[Roast Beef cuts himself in half]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02232005 |
| Achewood - February 23, 2005 | [[Teodor and Roast Beef are in the kitchen]]
/ Teodor: So, how are things with you and Molly? / [[Zoom in]] / [[Roast Beef stands alone]] / [[Roast Beef has a knife]] / [[Roast Beef cuts himself in half]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02232005 |
| Achewood - February 23, 2005 | [[Teodor and Roast Beef are in the kitchen]]
/ Teodor: So, how are things with you and Molly? / [[Zoom in]] / [[Roast Beef stands alone]] / [[Roast Beef has a knife]] / [[Roast Beef cuts himself in half]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02232005 |
| Achewood - February 23, 2007 | [[Teodor walks in carrying a shopping bag]]
/ Teodor: Hey Philippe! I got you a present while I was downtown!
/ Philippe: Oh boy! What is it what is it! / [[Philippe's imagination]]
/ Teodor: I couldn't decide, so I got you the torch AND the grappling hook!
/ Philippe: ...how did you know! / Teodor: We... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02232007 |
| Achewood - February 24, 2003 | [[Ray and Téodor are standing near Téodor's new boat]]
/ Ray: This is it?! / [[Téodor has a bit of a scowl]]
/ Téodor: Don't sound so excited, Ray. / [[Ray's eyebrows are locked in the "idea" position]]
/ Ray: Téodor, man, we gotta hit the drawing board! / [[Ray and Téodor are in front of the computer.... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02242003 |
| Achewood - February 24, 2004 | < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02242004 |
| Achewood - February 24, 2005 | Roast Beef: Holy crap who pressed on my head?! / Roast Beef: Dude did you press on my head about fifty seconds ago / Ray: Naw, man. I been in here in a while / Roast Beef: This page is kind of reflective I can use it to see if the person is coming up again to press me on the head / Roast Beef: Alright... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02242005 |
| Achewood - February 24, 2005 | [[Roast Beef is sitting in a chair, reading a magazine]] / [[close up of Roast Beef, whos head is being pressed on by someone wearing a black shirt]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02242005 |
| Achewood - February 24, 2005 | [[Roast Beef is sitting in Ray's living room reading a book. A black-sleeved arm pressed on his head.]] / Roast Beef: Holy crap who pressed on my head?! / Roast Beef: Dude did you press on my head about fifty seconds ago / Ray: Naw, man. I been in here in a while / Roast Beef: This page is kind... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02242005 |
| Achewood - February 24, 2006 | [[ Ray sits splay legged on the ground staring at his front paws ]]
/ << beeep beeep beep >> / [[ Closeup, the blood is thick on rays paws ]] / [[ Ray stares ]] / [[ Ray remembers the feeling of rippping off a face ]] / [[ Ray vomits ]]
/ << Hup... phlurgh! splat >> / Roast beef: Same thing happened... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02242006 |
| Achewood § February 24, 2009 | Ray: I thought about this financial crisis from all angles, dogg. We gotta legalize and tax pot. That could really be the big save. / Ray: It would literally be amazing if I was kidding. / Roast Beef: We ain't never gonna legalize pot man we way too puritanical as a society / Ray: No, we all just... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02242009 |
| Achewood - February 25, 2002 | [[Téodor and Lie Bot are in conversation]]
/ Téodor: Lie Bot, would you like to join us for dinner?
/ Lie Bot: Man, you know robots can't eat dinner! What the hell? / Téodor: Just hang out with us! You don't always have to go into the garage while we eat.
/ [[Lie Bot points his finger at Téodor]]
/ Lie... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02252002 |
| Achewood - February 25, 2003 | [[Pat is sitting in front of his computer, on the phone, looking distressed]]
/ Pat; ROAST BEEF! HELP! Someone hacked into my website! / [[Roast Beef is also sitting in front of his computer, on the phone]]
/ Roast Beef; Yeah uh I saw that
/ You should check out your messageboard though man
/ It's insane / [[Pat... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02252003 |
| Achewood - February 25, 2004 | [[Vlad is standing in a bar holding a beer and talking on a phone.]]
/ Vlad: Andy! Is Vlad! You are still at work? / [[Andy is sitting in a cubicle with a headset on]]
/ Andy: Yeah. / Vlad: We are agreeink to meet at Sneakers sports grill twenty minutes ago! What is deal? / Andy: Oh, I don't know. I'm... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02252004 |
| Achewood - February 26, 2002 | Ray: How was your weekend, Pat? You get any of the sweet stuff? / Pat: My sister and her new husband came over and watched TV. It was real mellow, dig. / Ray: Her new husband? You mean the new husband that I... / Ray: ...Boned?
/ TO BE CONTINUED http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02262002 |
| Achewood - February 26, 2002 | [[Pat, Roast Beef, and Ray standing outside smoking.]]
/ Ray: How was your weekend, Pat? You get any of the sweet stuff? / Pat: My sister and her new husband came over and watched TV. It was real mellow, dig. / Ray: Her new husband? You mean the new husband that I... / [[Close-up (or T-shot) of Ray... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02262002 |
| Achewood - February 26, 2003 | [[Ray (In a sailor's cap) and Teodor stand on a dock looking at a new and improved boat]]
/ Ray: Whoo! Now THAT is a BOAT, Teodor! / [[Pat approaches and grabs Ray]]
/ Ray! I need to talk to you! ALONE. / Pat: Listen, man. I need to borrow your peice for a little while.
/ Ray: What?! Why you need Tic-Tac,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02262003 |
| Achewood - February 26, 2007 | [[Teodor standing reading a book. Ray in a chair]] / Teodor: Dude, you should read this book! This chick in a little apartment in New York cooks all 524 of the recipes in Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" in one year! / Teodor: Even the old-school stuff with brain and aspics!
/ Ray:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02262007 |
| Achewood ? February 26, 2009 | [[Molly and Roast Beef are in bed. Beef has a hold of the covers, and is glaring under them.]]
/ Molly: Is...is everything okay, babe?
/ Beef: Jesus Christ what in the hell come on Dracula / M: It's alright, don't stress about it. It happens to every guy at some point. / B: This don't happen to me though... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02262009 |
| Achewood - February 27, 2002 | Ray: He don't dig on jokes about his family. I guess I forgot that.
/ Teodor: So Pat was pretty mad? / Ray: Yeah. I should call and apologize to him.
/ Teodor: ...yeah / Ray: I hate making calls like this.
/ Teodor: I don't blame you. / Ray: Hey man, it's Ray. I'm sorry I said that I boned your brot... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02272002 |
| Achewood - February 27, 2003 | Todd: Hey Roast Beef! Can you help me do my t-t-taxes?
/ Roast Beef: Well sure Todd I would be happy to It's good to see you filin' early that is dope / Roast Beef: Alright now first you basically got to declare your income and how you come by that income
/ Todd: I run smack in my van! / Roast Beef:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02272003 |
| Achewood - February 27, 2003 | Todd: Hey Roast Beef! Can you help me do my t-t-taxes?
/ Roast Beef: Well sure Todd I would be happy to It's good to see you filin' early that is dope / Roast Beef: Alright now first you basically got to declare your income and how you come by that income
/ Todd: I run smack in my van! / Roast Beef:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02272003 |
| Todd's Taxes | [[Todd and Roast Beef in room. Todd is holding tax forms]]
/ [[Todd shakes his tax forms]]
/ Todd: Hey Roast Beef! Can you help me do my t-t-taxes?
/ Roast Beef:Well Sure Todd I would be happy to
/ Roast Beef: It's good to see you filin' early that is dope / [[Roast Beef looks at forms with pencil in hand]]
/ Roast... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02272003 |
| Achewood - February 27, 2004 | [[Philippe is in a treehouse talking to Pat]]
/ Pat: What's this I hear about you runnin' for President, Philippe? / Philippe: That's right, Pat! I would like to earn your vote!
/ Pat: Let's just chat about the issues for a spell, then.
/ Philippe: Good! What issue would you like to chat about? / Pat:... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02272004 |
| Achewood - February 27, 2006 | [[Teodor is sitting in front of the computer while Lyle, Philippe, Cornelius, and Vlad are gathered behind Teodor to read the live update from the Great Outdoor Fight.]]
/ Lyle: Quit bein' a horse's ass! Hit refresh already, T!
/ Teodor: It'll update automatically! Shut up, Lyle!
/ Vlad, thinking: Oh, man,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02272006 |
| Achewood - February 27, 2007 | [[Ray is sitting in an armchair, garbed in dressing-gown, reading the paper. Téodor approaches.]]
/ Téodor: So, what's new on the gourmet black market, Ray?
/ Ray: Oh. Dude. You got to check this out. Close the curtains. / [[Ray shows him a book entitled "THE AL-QAEDA COOK BOOK".]] / Ray: And remember,... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02272007 |
| Achewood - February 28, 2002 Band tryouts | [[Caption: BAND TRYOUTS]]
/ [[Holding a bass guitar, Lyle watches as Todd plays a saxaphone. Todd is playing badly.]] / [[Lyle continues to watch Todd play the saxaphone. Todd continues to play badly.]] / Lyle: What do you think this is, Todd? The Pet Shop Boys? Put some spine into it!
/ Todd: I'm... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02282002 |
| Achewood - February 28, 2005 | [[Ray looks at a box marked "LEARN THE BANJO"]]
/ Ray: Oh, good! My new banjo got here! / [[Ray plays the banjo]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02282005 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/?date=02282007">http://achewood.com/?date=02282007 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/?date=02282008">http://achewood.com/?date=02282008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood § February 28, 2010 | Teodor: Jeez, Philippe. You look like death warmed over. Have you not been sleeping? / Philippe: Can you peek at my newest ideas? I...I'm gonna...I'll be right back. / [[Teodor reads the drawings.]]
/ [[Drawing of two shoes. One is crossed out. Inscription reads: it's the... "2-in-1 shoe!" it's a shoe... http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02282010 |
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