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| We're into education now. | Lyle: As you know, last week's strips were mainly about wieners and boners.
/ Philippe: It bothered you, and it bothered us. / [[Mr. Bear and Todd in the garden, Mr. Bear is watering plants]]
/ Mr. Bear: But we're changing things around here.
/ Todd: Achewood is singing a different tune. / Lie Bot: We're redeeming ourselves. It's time we gave something back.
/ Philippe: We're into education now.
/ Lyle: Education. / [[Téodor appears wearing only a headband]]
/ Téodor: Hey, sorry I missed house meeting. I was being naked in my room. What's up? / {{title text: These dudes will never change.}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01282002 |
| Achewood - January 28, 2003 | [[Roast Beef wakes up in his hotel room with a beard]]
/ Roast Beef: [[Thinking]] Ugh, I feel like someone pinched my nose and puked in my mouth / Roast Beef: Ray man wake up
/ Ray what did we get into last night / Ray: ain't gonna wake up / [[Ray pulls his blanket over his head]]
/ Ray: gonna skip a day
/ thank you / [[Roast Beef finds a book]]
/ Roast Beef: What's with this notebook Man did we write all this
/ What in the dogg / Roast Beef: Must be a hundred pages here
/ "I ain't never woke up/To no ladies sayin' thanks/The only women at my door/Just want to know what stanks" / {{Alt Text: we all want to skip a day}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01282003 |
| Achewood - January 28, 2004 | YESTERDAY IN ACHEWOOD:
/ Ray: MOMMMM! ROAST BEEF WANTS TO KISS GIRLS ON THE TITTIES! / TODAY.
/ Ray: My mom says I gotta come out here and apologize to you. / Roast Beef: Gee THANKS Ray that sounds so SINCERE / Roast Beef: How come you had to go and yell that about my private ideas Now she's gonna call my mom and I'm gonna get put on Punishment / Ray: She ain't gonna call your mom, Beef! My mom would never call 7-11!
/ Roast Beef: You sure / Ray: Yeah! I think the only store my mom even KNOWS about is Neiman Marcus!
/ Roast Beef: Man that is a huge relief My mom gets off work way after Neiman Marcus closes / Ray: Does your mom even know what Neiman Marcus is?
/ Roast Beef: She used to buy meth from their piano player http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01282004 |
| Achewood - January 28, 2005: Ray is high under the table | [[Ray is sitting under a table with another Ray standing beside it.]]
/ Standing Ray (hallucination): Hey, guy! Don't be blue! It don't suit you! / Ray: Huh? / [[Teodor is standing in the hallucination's place.]]
/ Teodor: I said there's no food. Should we order some? / Ray: I..I really don't know. / [[Pause. Teodor leaves.]] / Ray (thinking): I disappointed him. / Ray (thinking): I wonder if he likes soccer. Maybe we could do a thing. / Ray (on phone): Hey Teodor, do you like soccer? / Ray (on phone): Not really? / Ray (thinking): Man that was stupid of COURSE Teodor doesn't like sports / He listens to The Cure / [[Ray writes "The Cure" on a piece of wood.]]
/ Ray (thinking): This is perfect. The driftwood will remind him about eternity. / Ray: Here, man. I'm sorry about all that. We cool? / [[Teodor holds driftwood, astonished.]] / {{Alt text: Do you Know Todd}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01282005 |
| Achewood - January 28, 2005: Ray is high under the table | [[Ray is sitting under a table with another Ray standing beside it.]]
/ Standing Ray (hallucination): Hey, guy! Don't be blue! It don't suit you! / Ray: Huh? / [[Teodor is standing in the hallucination's place.]]
/ Teodor: I said there's no food. Should we order some? / Ray: I..I really don't know. / [[Pause. Teodor leaves.]] / Ray (thinking): I disappointed him. / Ray (thinking): I wonder if he likes soccer. Maybe we could do a thing. / Ray (on phone): Hey Teodor, do you like soccer? / Ray (on phone): Not really? / Ray (thinking): Man that was stupid of COURSE Teodor doesn't like sports / He listens to The Cure / [[Ray writes "The Cure" on a piece of wood.]]
/ Ray (thinking): This is perfect. The driftwood will remind him about eternity. / Ray: Here, man. I'm sorry about all that. We cool? / [[Teodor holds driftwood, astonished.]] / {{Alt text: Do you Know Todd}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01282005 |
| Philippe's mom phones | [[A phone on a table]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01292002 |
| Achewood - January 29, 2003 | [[Cell phone rings]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01292003 |
| Achewood - January 29, 2004 | [[Mr. Bear sits in a comfortable easy chair reading a newspaper]]
/ Mr. Bear: Hm, hm
/ Mr. Bear: Looks like Kerry's going to take the nomination... / [[Philippe enters]]
/ Philippe: What, Mr. Bear?
/ Mr. Bear: The Democrats are deciding who they want to run against President Bush, Philippe. / Philippe: It's Democrats and Republicans, right?
/ Mr. Bear: Those are the two main American political parties. / Philippe: Which one's better?
/ Mr. Bear: It's not that simple, I'm afraid. There are good and bad things about both parties. / Philippe: Why don't they just make one party out of all the good things? / Mr. Bear: Sigh.
/ Mr. Bear: I wish it were that easy, Philippe. / [[Soon, Philippe stands behind a wooden crate with a sign crudely inscribed with "Philippe for America!" and "I am happy to be your president"]] http://achewood.com/?date=01292004 |
| Achewood - January 29, 2004 | Cornelius Bear: Hm, Hm Looks like Kerry's going to take the nomination... / Philippe: What, Mr. Bear?
/ Cornelius Bear: The Democrats are deciding who they want to run against President Bush, Philippe. / Philippe: It's Democrats and Republicans, right?
/ Cornelius Bear: Those are the two main American political parties. / Philippe: Which one's better?
/ Cornelius Bear: It's not that simple, I'm afraid. There are good and bad things about both parties. / Philippe: Why don't they just make one party out of all the good things> / Cornelius Bear: Sigh I wish it were that easy, Philippe. / [[Philippe is sitting at a small desk happily, on which is written "PHILIPPE FOR AMERICA! I AM HAPPY TO BE YOUR PRESIDENT"]] http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01292004 |
| Achewood - January 29, 2004 | Cornelius Bear: Hm, Hm Looks like Kerry's going to take the nomination... / Philippe: What, Mr. Bear?
/ Cornelius Bear: The Democrats are deciding who they want to run against President Bush, Philippe. / Philippe: It's Democrats and Republicans, right?
/ Cornelius Bear: Those are the two main American political parties. / Philippe: Which one's better?
/ Cornelius Bear: It's not that simple, I'm afraid. There are good and bad things about both parties. / Philippe: Why don't they just make one party out of all the good things? / Cornelius Bear: Sigh I wish it were that easy, Philippe. / [[Philippe is sitting at a small desk happily, on which is written "PHILIPPE FOR AMERICA! I AM HAPPY TO BE YOUR PRESIDENT"]] http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01292004 |
| Achewood - January 29, 2007 | [[Ray is driving in his car]] / Sign: SPEEDING TICKETS AVAILABLE AHEAD! / Ray: Man, what is with these sassy new traffic signs they got poppin' up everywhere? / Sign: IS TODAY THE DAY YOUR SPEED HURTS A CHILD? / Ray [looking away from the road]: Jesus, people! Less drama, already! / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01292007 |
| Achewood - January 29, 2007 | [[Ray is driving in his car]] / [[Traffic sign with a picture of a police car]]
/ Sign: SPEEDING TICKETS AVAILABLE AHEAD! / Ray: Man, what is with these sassy new traffic signs they got poppin' up everywhere? / [[Ray looks to the side in dismay]] / [[A sign with a picture of a child with a bike]]
/ Sign: IS TODAY THE DAY YOUR SPEED HURTS A CHILD? / Ray [looking away from the road]: Jesus, people! Less drama, already! / < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01292007 |
| Political cartoonists are all hacks | [[Lyle wears a suit and stands in the cradboard TV]]
/ Narrator: ACHEWOOD, THE NATIONALLY SYNDICATED POLITICAL CARTOON
/ Lyle: Let's see: Texas, Big Energy, political nepotism...are we talking about Enron or George W. here?
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302002 |
| Political cartoonists are all hacks | [[Lyle wears a suit and stands in the cardboard TV]]
/ Narrator: ACHEWOOD, THE NATIONALLY SYNDICATED POLITICAL CARTOON
/ Lyle: Let's see: Texas, Big Energy, political nepotism...are we talking about Enron or George W. here?
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302002 |
| Achewood - January 30, 2003 | Ray: Uh, Beef? Did y-you use cash or credit card for this place? / Roast Beef: Cash Guy wouldn't even LOOK at my credit card Why you askin anyway / [[Ray looks down at bed]] / Roast Beef: [[thought balloon]] Oh my god / Roast Beef: Ray don't tell me you made PICKLES in this bed
/ Ray: Man, let's get OUTTA here! / [[SOON]]
/ Ray: I can't believe you made us take this stanky sheet! What are we gonna DO with it?!
/ Roast Beef: Take it out into the woods and shoot it I guess / Ray: What if someone finds it?! They could test for my DNA!
/ Roast Beef: A turd with a bullet in it ain't exactly 5 O'Clock News Ray / {{title text: I know over 2 guys who have done this}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302003 |
| Achewood - January 30, 2003 | [[Ray sits in bed]]
/ Ray: Uh, Beef? Did y-you use cash or credit card for this place? / [[Roast Beef is wearing an Abe Lincoln beard and holding a stovepipe hat]]
/ Roast Beef: Cash
/ Roast Beef: Guy wouldn't even LOOK at my credit card
/ Roast Beef: Why you askin anyway / [[Ray looks down at bed]] / Roast Beef: [[thought balloon]] Oh my god / Roast Beef: Ray don't tell me you made PICKLES in this bed
/ Ray: Man, let's get outta here! / [[SOON]]
/ Ray: I can't believe you made us take this stanky sheet! What are we gonna DO with it?!
/ Roast Beef: Take it out into the woods and shoot it I guess / Ray: What if someone finds it?! They could test for my DNA!
/ Roast Beef: A turd with a bullet in it ain't exactly 5 O'Clock News Ray / {{title text: I know over 2 guys who have done this}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302003 |
| Achewood - January 30, 2004 | [[PHILLIPE at desk with sign - "Phillippe for America - I Am Happy to Be Your President; TEODOR opening closet]]
/ PHILLIPE: Teodor! I'd like to talk with you about my campaign!
/ TEODOR: I'm just trying to get some paper towels, Phillippe. / PHILLIPE: I need your vote, but I want to EARN it!
/ TEODOR: Okay, okay. I'm listening. / PHILLIPE: Ahem. / [[PHILLIPE, with suddenly serious countenance, lecturing TEODOR from the desk]]
/ PHILLIPE: Did you know that every night, people all across Americago to bed sad? / TEODOR: Is that a statistic?
/ PHILLIPE: Yes. / TEODOR: Well, how are you going to cure sadness? / PHILLIPE: I will give every American a little puppy dog named Mr. Poopytime! / PHILLIPE: It is my firm belief that little puppy dogs named Mr. Poopytime will bring our country together! / {{META-TAG: That's the little Donald Trump YOU'RE FIRED thing he's doing with his hand there in the last panel}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302004 |
| Achewood - January 30, 2004 | [[PHILIPPE at desk with sign - "Philippe for America - I Am Happy to Be Your President"; TÉODOR opening closet]]
/ PHILIPPE: Téodor! I'd like to talk with you about my campaign!
/ TÉODOR: I'm just trying to get some paper towels, Philippe. / PHILIPPE: I need your vote, but I want to EARN it!
/ TÉODOR: Okay, okay. I'm listening. / PHILIPPE: Ahem. / [[PHILIPPE, with suddenly serious countenance, lecturing TÉODOR from the desk]]
/ PHILIPPE: Did you know that every night, people all across America go to bed sad? / TÉODOR: Is that a statistic?
/ PHILIPPE: Yes. / TÉODOR: Well, how are you going to cure sadness? / PHILIPPE: I will give every American a little puppy dog named Mr. Poopytime! / PHILIPPE: It is my firm belief that little puppy dogs named Mr. Poopytime will bring our nation together! / {{META-TAG: That's the little Donld [sic] Trump YOU'RE FIRED thing he's doing there with his hand in the last panel}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302004 |
| Achewood - January 30, 2007 | < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302007 |
| Achewood - January 30, 2007 | [[Roast Beef asleep in bed]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302008">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01302008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Ray's problem in the kitchen | [[Ray stands outside a window, Philippe can be seen inside]]
/ Ray: Hey little guy, you seen Téodor?
/ Philippe: Hi Ray! / Ray: I got issues with a dish I'm makin'.
/ Philippe: Téodor is taking a nap. / Téodor's voice: I'm awake! / [[Téodor replaces Philippe at the window]]
/ Téodor: What's not working out for you?
/ Ray: My tuna tartare came out all ill. I can't tell what the problem is. / [[Téodor sits at a table, tasting while Ray stands and watches]]
/ Téodor: Hm. Did you separate out the muscle tissue and remove the silvery stuff before dicing it?
/ Ray: No, man. I didn't. / Téodor: Most people don't. Try that, and add some minced chives to this wasabe dressing.
/ Ray thinks: Damn, that's a good idea. / {{title text: toasted sesame seeds might be better}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312002 |
| Achewood - January 31, 2003 | [[Roast Beef and Ray are in a car. Roast Beef, driving, has an Abraham Lincoln beard, and is talking to Ray.]] / Roast Beef: No you CAN'T throw it out the window that is a FEDERAL offense
/ Roast Beef: Not to mention just plain rude / Ray: Beef, I'm gonna be SICK if I gotta keep holdin' onto this thing! / Roast Beef: You gotta be sick just be sick in that sheet
/ Roast Beef: I don't think you can hurt its feelings too much more at this point / Roast Beef: Man I been hung over before but you take the cake Ray / Ray: Dang, Beef! This ain't no regular hangover! This is the big one! / [[External shot of car]]
/ Ray: I...I'm talkin' physical therapy! Wheelchairs and stuff! Speakin' at high schools! / {{title text: i...am...here...to tell you not to get a hangover}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312003 |
| Achewood - January 31, 2006 | [[Ray is on the phone.]]
/ Ray: Yeah, I'm callin' to register for the 2006 Great Outdoor Fight.
/ Ray: What? / Ray: Qualifyin' rounds be damned. I'm BOC.
/ {{BOC = Blood-of-Champion.}} / Ray: 1973. Rodney Leonard Stubbs. I'm his son.
/ Ray: Hell yes I can prove it. You name the place. I call you or your local representative out. / Ray: Okay, hold on. I gotta grab a pen. / [[Ray rummages through his dresser drawers for a pen.]] / Ray: Hey, sorry 'bout that. Yeah. Ramada Inn, by the airport, room 215. Thanks.
/ [[The note Ray has written is completely illegible - a large R, a large A, "2...5?", and what looks like some ü's are scribbled on the page.]] / Ray: Oh, whose ass am I kicking? Yours, or another guy? / Ray: Seriously? Envelópe Martinez? Fight Champion 1997? Nice!
/ Ray: Alright, thanks Aaron. / [[Ray begins dialing another phone number.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312006 |
| Achewood - January 31, 2007 | [[Ray reading the news paper in a chair while wearing a robe or a smoking jacket]]
/ Ray: It's like, you shouldn't eat an animal unless you're capable of killin' it with your own hands.
/ Ray: Way much people are signin' up for this class. / [[Roast Beef is alongside Ray in the panel holding a bottle]]
/ Roast Beef: What's the deal like you glock a cow behind Whole Foods or something / [[Ray standing next to a cow at night; looking around]] / [[Ray shoots the cow with a gun held sideways while shouting]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312007 |
| Ray Glocks a Cow | [[Ray reading the news paper in a chair while wearing a robe or a smoking jacket]]
/ Ray: It's like, you shouldn't eat an animal unless you're capable of killin' it with your own hands.
/ Ray: Way much people are signin' up for this class. / [[Roast Beef is alongside Ray in the panel holding a bottle]]
/ Roast Beef: What's the deal like you glock a cow behind Whole Foods or something / [[Ray standing next to a cow at night; looking around]] / [[Ray shoots the cow with a gun held sideways while shouting]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312007 |
| Achewood - January 31, 2007 | [[Ray reading the newspaper in a chair while wearing a robe or a smoking jacket]]
/ Ray: It's like, you shouldn't eat an animal unless you're capable of killin' it with your own hands.
/ Ray: Way much people are signin' up for this class. / [[Roast Beef is alongside Ray in the panel holding a bottle]]
/ Roast Beef: What's the deal like you glock a cow behind Whole Foods or something / [[Ray standing next to a cow at night; looking around]] / [[Ray shoots the cow with a gun held sideways while shouting]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312007 |
| Achewood - January 31, 2007 | [[Ray reading the news paper in a chair while wearing a robe or a smoking jacket]]
/ Ray: It's like, you shouldn't eat an animal unless you're capable of killin' it with your own hands.
/ Ray: Way much people are signin' up for this class. / [[Roast Beef is alongside Ray in the panel holding a bottle]]
/ Roast Beef: What's the deal like you glock a cow behind Whole Foods or something / [[Ray standing next to a cow at night; looking around]] / [[Ray shoots the cow with a gun held sideways while shouting]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312007 |
| Achewood - January 31, 2007 | [[Ray reading the news paper in a chair while wearing a robe or a smoking jacket]]
/ Ray: It's like, you shouldn't eat an animal unless you're capable of killin' it with your own hands.
/ Ray: Way much people are signin' up for this class. / [[Roast Beef is alongside Ray in the panel holding a bottle]]
/ Roast Beef: What's the deal like you glock a cow behind Whole Foods or something / [[Ray standing next to a cow at night; looking around]] / [[Ray shoots the cow with a gun held sideways while shouting]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312007 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/?date=01312008">http://achewood.com/?date=01312008 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Pat, I Am Like You Now. (January 31, 2010) | Ray: Pat, man! I compost now! I'm just like you! / Pat: Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Which system are you using--a Lijlson-Greaves ratio, or an open Tanoku matrix? / Ray: I throw leftovers on the ground, man! In a little wire cage!
/ Pat: Whoah, whoah, whoah. That's not composting. There are very strict rules. / Ray: Dude, I put my extra cheese and nasty hard tortillas in an area. They get all rotty. A fly has a baby. Dirt is born.
/ Ray: Share this moment with me. / Pat: No, no, NO! DEAD wrong! Jesus CHRIST, Ray!
/ Ray: We talkin' 'bout makin' dirt here, Pat! Dirt ain't exactly nature's choosiest substance when it comes to havin' recently been other stuff! / Pat: People have done a LOT of work figuring this out! Your arrogant newbie blasphemy is . . .
/ Pat: . . . it's an AFFRONT to the DIGNITY of SOIL! / Ray: STUFF IS ON THE GROUND IN MY YARD! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, SUCKER!
/ Ray: DO YOU WANT TO SAY HI?
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01312010 |
| Achewood - February 1, 2002 | Dog: Hello!
/ Todd: Holy frikkin' cripes! Get away from me! Go Home! Scram! / [[Todd is now holding a crescent wrench]]
/ Dog: W-w-why are you being so mean?
/ Dog: < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02012002 |
| Achewood - February 1, 2005 | [[On grid-paper]]
/ Ray: We should set up a time to go camping. / Ray: Camping is the ultimate expression of habitation.
/ Teodor: What? / Ray: In fact, I'm gonna get started right now. Let's go. / Teodor: You can't go camping in the middle of your party. That's kind of rude. / [[Ray appears translucent for one panel.]] / Ray: Dammit, you're right. I'm gonna go into the garage and smell metal stuff. Instead. / [[Ray kneels beside a lawnmower, presumably in the garage.]]
/ Ray[thinking]: This old lawnmower smells good. No, it smells goddamned beautiful. / [[The panels begin to cascade.]]
/ Ray: I've got to sell this on eBay. / [[Ray's computer monitor]]
/ Enter a brief description of the item you wish to sell:
/ FOR SALE: ONE LAWNMOWER. BEAUTIFUL SMELLS OF GAS AND CLIPPINGS WILL REMIND BUYER OF CHILDHOOD. L@@K INTO YOUR PAST AND / Ray: I wonder if eBay gives an award for blowing people's minds. / [[Ray stands behind the grid the panels hang on]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02012005 |
| Achewood - February 1, 2005 | [[On grid-paper]]
/ Ray: We should set up a time to go camping. / Ray: Camping is the ultimate expression of habitation.
/ Teodor: What? / Ray: In fact, I'm gonna get started right now. Let's go. / Teodor: You can't go camping in the middle of your party. That's kind of rude. / [[Ray appears translucent for one panel.]] / Ray: Dammit, you're right. I'm gonna go into the garage and smell metal stuff. Instead. / [[Ray kneels beside a lawnmower, presumably in the garage.]]
/ Ray[thinking]: This old lawnmower smells good. No, it smells goddamned beautiful. / [[The panels begin to cascade.]]
/ Ray: I've got to sell this on eBay. / [[Ray's computer monitor]]
/ Enter a brief description of the item you wish to sell:
/ FOR SALE: ONE LAWNMOWER. BEAUTIFUL SMELLS OF GAS AND CLIPPINGS WILL REMIND BUYER OF CHILDHOOD. L@@K INTO YOUR PAST AND / Ray: I wonder if eBay gives an award for blowing people's minds. / [[Ray stands behind the grid the panels hang on]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02012005 |
| Achewood - February 1, 2006 | [[Envelópe Martinez answers the door. Ray is standing there.]]
/ Ray: Envelópe! Que pasa, seńor hombre!
/ Envelópe: Raymón! Ju silly man! Come in! Don' stan' on the front steps all day like a big bag of caca! / Envelópe: So, ju gonna stop callin' the cops on me for good if I do this Fight thing, ese?
/ Ray: Only about that wackity-ass Nativity scene! Don't get greedy now! / Envelópe: Man, I don see why ju got such a beehive up ju ass about mi Natividad.
/ Envelópe:I lay out big bucks for that spread! My kids love it! / Ray: So put it in their room!
/ Ray: This is a good neighborhood. People pay a lot of money to not see a bunch of rotating Josephs. / Envelópe: Ju gringos got no love of Christ, Raymón.
/ [[Envelópe hands Ray a beer, keeping another for himself.]]
/ Ray: Yeah, well. It keeps the toys off my lawn. / Envelópe: Anyhow, papi, ju can't complain anymore after I make this call! We got a deal now!
/ Envelópe: It break my heart to say I lose a fight to Raymón Smuckel. I do it for my kids, man. < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02012006 |
| Achewood - February 2, 2004 | [[Mr. Bear holds a microphone near by Philippe, dressed in a suit]]
/ Mr. Bear: I'm here live with today's guest, presidential dark horse Philippe.
/ Philippe: Hello, America. Good Morning. How are you. / Mr. Bear: Philippe, in a nutshell, why should the American people give you their vote? / Philippe[[gesturing, angry]]: I think everyone is disappointed by the failures of the current administration. / Philippe: I think everyone wants to see some new ideas! / Philippe: And, i think everyone agrees it's time this country was run by someone who is five! / [[Old-Timey Television Card]]
/ Thank You For Watching
/ Philippe for America, HE IS FIVE
/ UBC Broadcasting: This half-hour brought to you by: Ray Smuckles / [[Roast Beef and Ray sit in their usual seats]]
/ Roast Beef: Don't tell me you underwrote his campaign Ray
/ Ray: Okay < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022004 |
| Achewood - February 2, 2005 | [[Philippe sees Ultra Peanut and goes up to talk to her]] / Phillippe: Ultra Peanut! Is that you? / Ultra Peanut: FeeReep! Why you no call me two year? / Phillippe: I...I'm sorry! I thought you were mad at me because of what I did to Click Robot! / Ultra Peanut: Dummy! He fine! All I do is reboot him! See? / [[Ultra Peanut shows Click Robot to Phillippe. Click Robot displays the message "SCREW YOU, MAN" on-screen.]] / Phillippe: Wow! He's sassy! / Ultra Peanut: He remember you! / [[Click Robot displays message "NOW IT IS MY TURN"]] / [[Click Robot displays message "entering enemy mode... 52%"]] / [[Click Robot displays message "entering enemy mode... 96%"]] / [[Click Robot flies towards Phillippe and attaches himself to him]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022005 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022007&ref=nf">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022007&ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood § February 2, 2009 | [[Title Card]]
/ A Moment With...
/ The Book of Genteel Wherewithal / [[Beef is reading a book]]
/ Book: Horatio Nelson Jackson (1872-1955) was the first gentleman to drive an automobile across the the United States, an early... / Beef: Horatio Nelson Jackson
/ Beef: But Got-DAMN did men used to have some proper-ass names / [[An old-fashioned man in a tuxedo wearing a monocle is holding a bag]]
/ Man: I am Ephesius Salem Wrathwright, and if we are to make custom I demand your fairest assay of this Calaveras ore! / [[An elderly gentleman with glasses is standing on the balcony at the end of a train, with prairie behind]]
/ Man: I am Dr. Wealth Vinegar Agincourt! Do you sell this "California" by the mile or by the watershed? Hie thine answer, for there are women on this train who are driven to hysterics by stasis of any description! / [[Another old-fashioned man in lounging attire is holding a drink and sitting in a high-backed chair. He is angry.]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022009 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022010">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022010 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022012">http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02022012 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Achewood - February 3, 2004 | [[Roast Beef and Ray sit at a table. Beef is wearing a shirt and tie, in front of him is a pen and paper]]
/ {{Beef's dialogue appears as drawn, characteriscally without punctuation.}}
/ Roast Beef: Alright Ray if you're gonna donate money to the Philippe campaign we gotta make sure your books are all in order
/ Roast Beef: Okay let's see here / Roast Beef: Why did you send a check for $10,000 to "Oreos"
/ Ray: I like their product! I wanted 'em to have a little walkin' around money! / Roast Beef: Okay alright
/ Roast Beef: Now every month I see a $900 check made out to "V.I.P. Entertainment Concepts"
/ Roast Beef: What is that all about / [[Ray looks embarassed and stares into his martini glass]]
/ < http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02032004 |
| Achewood - February 3, 2005 | Click Robot: NOW WE EVEN
/ Click Robot: BUT REMEMBER
/ Click Robot: YOU STEP TO ME
/ Click Robot: I BRING THE PAIN
/ Click Robot: WHITE BOY / [[Teodor plays guitar to commemorate death of Click Robot, song described as "Play this reverently, like a king is burying his baby son.]] / [[Philippe, dressed in a crown and robe in the manner of a king, lays Click Robot in a tiny grave.]] / Philippe: I'm sorry that I didn't like you, little guy. / [[Philippe looks mournfully into the grave. Click robot just lies there.]] / {{Barre the B-chord on the top three}}
/ {{MIDI mockup of guitar song: http://www.zshare.net/audio/4981204f4fbe5e/}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02032005 |
| Achewood - February 3, 2005 | Click Robot: NOW WE EVEN
/ Click Robot: BUT REMEMBER
/ Click Robot: YOU STEP TO ME
/ Click Robot: I BRING THE PAIN
/ Click Robot: WHITE BOY / [[Teodor plays guitar to commemorate death of Click Robot, song described as "Play this reverently, like a king is burying his baby son.]] / [[Philippe, dressed in a crown and robe in the manner of a king, lays Click Robot in a tiny grave.]] / Philippe: I'm sorry that I didn't like you, little guy. / [[Philippe looks mournfully into the grave. Click robot just lies there.]] / {{Barre the B-chord on the top three}}
/ {{MIDI mockup of guitar song: http://www.zshare.net/audio/4981204f4fbe5e/}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02032005 |
| Achewood - February 3, 2005 | Click Robot: NOW WE EVEN
/ Click Robot: BUT REMEMBER
/ Click Robot: YOU STEP TO ME
/ Click Robot: I BRING THE PAIN
/ Click Robot: WHITE BOY / [[Teodor plays guitar to commemorate death of Click Robot, song described as "Play this reverently, like a king is burying his baby son.]] / [[Philippe, dressed in a crown and robe in the manner of a king, lays Click Robot in a tiny grave.]] / Philippe: I'm sorry that I didn't like you, little guy. / [[Philippe looks mournfully into the grave. Click robot just lies there.]] / {{Barre the B-chord on the top three}}
/ {{MIDI mockup of guitar song: http://www.zshare.net/audio/4981204f4fbe5e/}} http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02032005 |
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