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|Simulated Comic Product||The plague extracted a heavy toll from the village. / As their numbers dwindled, the peasants searched for someone to blame. / Since most of the usual scapegoats were dead, they blamed the next logical culprit. / Their God! / A great catapult was built at the edge of town, and the survivors lined up. / One...|
|Simulated Comic Product||Nooo!! / Rejoice! The tyrant is dead! Our land will at last know peace. / I . . . Live. / Free me, and I will make you more powerful than you have ever dreamed. / We shall drown our enemies in a sea of their own blood! Let us begin by gathering our allies and holding a council of war. / These scones...|
|Simulated Comic Product||I'll get two of my usual. / I haven't seen you in here much lately. I heard that you were trying to learn how to cook. / I have been, but it's not going well. I was trying to make some pasta yesterday, and the weirdest thing happened. / Somehow, through some arcane interplay of incompetence and expired...|
|Simulated Comic Product||One day, a strange rain came to our city. / It tasted normal, / But it melted all of the buildings. / When the clouds passed, we waded through the puddles and blinked at our new surroundings. / It was like nothing we had ever seen. / We swung from branches / And foraged for berries. / That night,...|
|Simulated Comic Product||I've been getting letters from the future lately. / I'm not sure where they come from, or why they're coming to me, but every morning there's at least one letter waiting in my mailbox. / At first I was excited. I thought that the letters might hide secret knowledge, like when earthquakes will hit,...|
|Simulated Comic Product||Anything to report, soldier? / Negative, Sir. It's been quite all night. / Wait, there's some movement at the tree line. / It looks like... Aww, Sarge, it's so cute! A family of fuzzy pink bunnies is advancing upon my position. / Open fire, soldier! I've seen this before! Do not hesitate! / But I think...|
|Simulated Comic Product||Hey! / Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha / Why are the robots so mean to us? / They are powered by our sadness.|
|Simulated Comic Product||Merging our companies is going to save us millions of dollars.
|Simulated Comic Product||Tofurky Disguise Kit / Fool your carnivorous friends and family with this cunning disguise. / Simply print, paste onto card stock, and use toothpicks to attach to your favourite fake meat product.|
|Simulated Comic Product||The end didn't come as a storm of fire or ice. It didn't come by our own hand. / It came with the return of the giant space ants. / Do you remember sunshine? / I remember only darkness.|
|Simulated Comic Product||Lookin' for cans... Da de dum daaaah!! / Wut's this then? / Eh... / Freedom at last! / You have released me, mortal, and in doing so, you have pleased the Lord. / For this service, he shall grant you one wish, what is it that your heart most desires? / Meanwhile: / How could all the world's bauxite...|
|Simulated Comic Product||Hi There! I'm the Technology Fairy! / I make people's lives better. / With TECHNOLOGY! / Wait - what's that sound? / It sounds like an angry mob! / There he is! Get Him! / I hate cell phones! / Robots stole my job! / Poor, wretched souls. / Will they ever learn? / That's much better!|
|Simulated Comic Product||The Amazing Adventures of the Accountant. / This week: The Stapler Incident|
|Simulated Comic Product||If we cut through the grave yard, we'll make it home in half the time. / I dunno. This place is creepy. / "They're coming to get you, Barbara!" / Knock it off, Steve! That's not funny! / Steve? / Steve?! / Uh... / What is wrong with you? What the hell do you think you're doing?! / I, uh, you know....|
|Simulated Comic Product||Someone's at the door!
/ I'll get it, dear. / Greetings, Professor. It has been a long time since we have seen each other.
/ You did not leave a forwarding address when you left the lab. You were not easy to find. / Who is it?
|Simulated Comic Product||I'm the one responsible. Without my research, the project would have failed.
|Simulated Comic Product||We call them dragonflies. Everyone has one assigned. / They dart around just out of view. Watching. Recording. / Transmitting. / Except for mine. It sufferered an unfortunate accident. / Do I still exist?|
|Simulated Comic Product||I think I see your problem. / When was the last time you fed the little guy inside? / Oh well. There are plenty more where that came from. / Little Computer People.|
|Simulated Comic Product||I can't believe that we finally found His address. / Time's up DEATH! / Your reign of terror is OVER! / Eventually: / I'm really sick of this park.|
|Simulated Comic Product||I'm broke, and I haven't had anything to drink in days! Coudl you spare just one glass of lemonade? / Profit sense TINGLING... / Look! Up in the sky! It's FREE MARKET MAN! / WAIT! DON'T POUR ANOTHER DROP! / But, He's THIRSTY! / He may be, Billy, but youv've got to consider the BIG PICTURE. With the...|
|Simulated Comic Product||Now on to science news. Researchers have completed a study on the existence of unicorns. The ten year project has determined that the beloved creatures are mythological, and therefore not real. / I think that I should probably be going now. / I never meant to hurt you.|
|Simulated Comic Product||I know that I've been working too much lately, but I think that I've found a solution. / With the press of a button, my personality and all of my memories will be copied into this little guy here. / Our vacation is saved! / GO ROBOT DAD!|
|Simulated Comic Product - Amok||Amok! / I warned you about creating the barb-bot. You knew the risks! / I know. I know. . . I just couldn't stand the small talk any more.|
|Simulated Comic Product - Rib Shack||DADDY? / I AIN'T PROUD OF WHAT I DID, SON. BUT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND THOSE WERE HARD TIMES.|
|Simulated Comic Product - Good Cookies||HEY, THESE COOKIES ARE PRETTY GOOD. / NAH, YOU GUYS GO AHEAD WITHOUT ME. / HAVE YOU TRIED THESE NEW COOKIES? / SOOO TASTY.|
|Simulated Comic Product - Playing in the Yard||DON'T PLAY SO CLOSE TP THE ROAD, BILLY. / BILLY! / I'M SORRY, MA'AMM BUT YOUR WARRANTY ONLY COVERS THREE REPLACEMENTS.|
|Simulated Comic Product - Gorilla||RAWRRRR / MY CAKE! / HEY, SORRY I'M LATE. I SENT BONGO AHEAD TO START THE SHOW WITHOUT ME.
/ I HOPE HE WASN'T TOO MUCH OF A BOTHER.
|Simulated Comic Product - Terrifying Ghost||Who's there? / Oh no. It is a terrifying ghost. / I can't do this. It's just not the same when you're paying for it. / Please don't leave. I can try harder.|
|Simulated Comic Product - TX-287||We love you, TX-287! /
|Simulated Comic Product - Another Specimen||Dig site 38, near future / Professor - We've found another specimen. It's bigger than any we've seen before! / The devil will stop at nothing to sow the seeds of doubt. / But we won't be deceived. These dragon bones will crumble like all the others. / Ready the blasting caps.|
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