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| The Ego and the Squid - The Colony | Title: The Colony
/ Caption: It just wouldn't really work out. / Chris: I don't think I could ever join a nudist colony. / Chris: I mean, I just get cold too easily. / Squid: Also, your body is grotesque. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=584&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Valerie Halla | Title: Valerie Halla
/ Caption: No, I'm doing alright. / Chris: So, you don't think it would work out? With us? / Valerie: It's just that most of the dudes I get involved with have died in battle. / Valerie: Yeah, I guess that is a little more glamorous than dying a little inside each day. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=585&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Cutman | Title: Cutman
/ Caption: I got chumped by Cutman, alright? / Squid: C'est la chump. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=586&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Happy Camper | Title: Happy Camper
/ Caption: I don't think I would be good at camping. / Jane: If you want to come camping, you'll need the right gear. / Jane: You'll want to be comfortable. / Chris: If I want to be comfortable, can't I stay home? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=587&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Rousseau | Title: Rousseau
/ Caption: Did I make several spelling mistakes here? Probably. / Chris: Lines; is there a more perfect manifestation of Rousseau's social contract? / Chris: In England they call them cues. Or is it "queues"? / Squid: But seriously, does this bank only employ one teller? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=588&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - TMNWP | Title: TMNWP
/ Caption: What the shell? / Raphael: I love being a turtle! / Squid: This show would be really weird if it was Teenage Mutant Ninja White People. / Leonardo: Turtle Power! http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=589&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Nothing More Than Feelings | Title: Nothing More Than Feelings
/ Caption: Making Great Feelings Since 1999 (tm). / Squid: Hey, man. You have feelings? / Squid: Are those your feelings? / Squid: Never fails. Two whiskeys and this guy becomes a real feelings factory. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=590&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Big Toe | Title: Big Toe
/ Caption: No way, Jose. / Chris: Nope. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=591&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - The Dude | Title: The Dude
/ Caption: You do fuck with the Jesus. / Walter On TV: I want to kiss you bad, dude. / Chris: I...don't remember this scene. / Squid: Clearly, you need to re-watch The Bi Lebowski. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=592&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Eraserhair | Title: Eraserhair
/ Caption: Or Kramer. / Squid: Have you tried combing your hair different? You could use a change. You're not Barney Rubble. / Chris: I can comb it back, but you won't like it. / Narrator: And so...
/ Chris: I look like Eraserhead. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=593&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Christina | Title: Christina
/ Caption: I actually have no idea what it would be like to be a woman. / Chris: Man, I bet my life would be so different were I a lady. / Narrator: In that bizarre world...
/ Christina: So, I think he's pretty mad at me now. I don't get it. / Christina: And on top of everything else,... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=594&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Fist Fighting | Title: Fist Fighting
/ Caption: Thank God I've never been in a fight. / Chris: I bet fighting has a real purity to it. / Chris: You win, you lose; you know. / Squid: I know you would lose. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=595&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Actuality | Title: Actuality
/ Caption: For reals. / Chris: Man, who drops a DVD in front of the store. The drop slot is right there. / Chris: Oh, and now someone has urinated on it. / Chris: This is a true story that actually happened. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=596&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Andrew | Title: Andrew
/ Caption: This was a great show. / Andrew W.K.: You guys ready to party?
/ Crowd: YEAH! / Andrew W.K.: Then let's have FUUUUUUUUN! / Chris: That guy has it figured out. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=597&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Dunkaroos | Title: Dunkaroos
/ Caption: I don't know. / Chris: This is a witch hunt! / Chris: I'll never recognize this kangaroo court. / Salem Kangaroo: Then prepare to be dunked, thou warlock! http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=598&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Lemons | Title: Lemons
/ Caption: Cuss words ahead. Sorry. / Squid: Well, man, you know what they say. / Squid: When life gives you lemons... / Squid & Chris: You're fucked! http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=599&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Reunion | Title: Reunion
/ Caption: These people, eh? / Chris: Yeesh. Internet says everyone I lost touch with since high school is now a lawyer. / Squid: Yeah, but you... / Squid: You're great... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=600&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Careers Of Tomorrow | Title: Careers Of Tomorrow
/ Caption: For some reason, my guidance councilor never brought up what to do when it all came down. / Chris: Man, I gotta get a new job before the economy fully craps itself. / Chris: What kind of job do you think will be in demand when this stuff is over. / Squid: Guns... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=601&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Mom's Birthday | Title: Mom's Birthday
/ Caption: Everybody wish my mom a happy birthday! / [[squid is reading on his blue chair. chris is kneeling in excitement]]
/ Chris: It's my mom's birthday! / [squid, looking up and putting his book down points towards chris]]
/ Squid: Oh, well, uh, happy b-day Mrs. Andersen. / [[chris... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=602&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Drunk Style | Title: Drunk Style
/ Caption: Sssshhh... / Zhang: You'll never defeat my praying mantis style! / Chris: Nuh-uh! You'll never defeat my drunken monkey style! / Chris: Sshh. Dude, I am bluffing the crap out of this chump. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=603&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Priorities | Titles: Priorities
/ Caption: I don't remember writing this. / Computer: Dear Fellows, I can't attend D&D tonight, as I have a hot date. Chris. / Computer: Cmon dude games before dames / Computer: Why did you put a period after your name?
/ Swamp Thang: Wha? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=604&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Or Yes | Title: Or Yes
/ Caption: Answers are implied by questions. / Customer: Hey, do you have The Last Boy Scout? Or no? / Chris: You don't have to say, "or no". / Chris: I know that no is an option. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=605&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Palin | Title: Palin
/ Caption: It's like every other day I need to have a mundane conversation about some crazy thing this woman has done. / Squid: How about that Palin, huh? I heard she once shot a witch from a plane. / Chris: Can we please not talk about Sarah Palin? / Chris: Please. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=606&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Ground Rules | Title: Ground Rules
/ Caption: Let's face it: anything is cheating. / Squid: Alright, a clone would be cheating, sure, but what about a version of her from another universe? / Chris: I think if they have separate consciousnesses then it is cheating. / Squid: Follow up: is a three-way cheating? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=607&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Interactions | Title: Interactions
/ Caption: I am always afraid of this. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=608&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Surprise | Title: Surprise
/ Caption: Surprise! / Squid: I gotta surprise for you.
/ Chris: Oooooh! / Squid: You're already dead. / [[Chris's bleached bones lay in the sun.]] http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=609&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Blowing It | Title: Blowing It
/ Caption: I kicked that regret around for a day or two. / Lady: Excuse me, may I have a light? / Chris: Oh. Yes. Sure. / Chris (to self): Why didn't I light it for her? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=610&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Nice Save | Title: Nice Save
/ Caption: I have a lot of nerd pride, but not as much as I should. / Danielle: Every Tuesday you're here by six and gone by seven-thirty. What's up with that? / Chris (to self): I'm ashamed of Dungeons And Dragons. / Chris: I host cockfights. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=611&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Whistling Mother | Title: Whistling Mother
/ Caption: Is there anything more grating? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=612&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Todd | Title: Todd
/ Caption: Just ask iwatchstuff.com / Todd: Hey, y'all! I'm Todd, the funky chihuahua! / Todd: FUNKY! / Chris: Yeah..chihuahuas are so hot right now... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=613&type_id=1 |
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