You're browsing the archives of The Ego And The Squid.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| The Ego and the Squid - You Had To Be A Big Shot | Title: You Had To Be A Big Shot
/ Caption: Did ya? / Chris: Man, I wish I were a big shot. / Djinn: Sim sim sallah bim! / Squid: Corny. So corny. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=739&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - TGIF | Title: TGIF
/ Caption: Am I right? / Chris: T.G.I.F. am I right? / Meryl: It's Wednesday. / Squid: He knows. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=740&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Questions | Title: Questions
/ Captions: Every time I say this, people take it the wrong way. / Person On Phone: Hey, can I ask you a question? / Chris: You... / Chris: You just did. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=741&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - The Male Ideal | Title: The Male Ideal
/ Caption: That first panel is based on real discussion, so, please don't think I'm one of those guys that thinks...I don't know. Don't think I'm one of those guys. / Meryl: Look, sometimes a lady is looking for a real "club-you-over-the-head" type. You know? / Chris: Sure, till... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=742&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Either Or | Title: Either Or
/ Caption: I suppose it could be both. / Chris (to self): Is this kid deformed? Or just odd looking? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=743&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - M.M.A. | Title: M.M.A.
/ Caption: My reason for ultimate fighting is the purest. / Squid: Alright, just one more round. I...I think you should give up. / Squid: Why on Earth did you do this?
/ Chris: huf huf huf / Chris: I just wanted to be brave. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=744&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Up Your Game | Title: Up Your Game
/ Caption: is it time? / Waterbed: Man, I'm telling you... / Waterbed: It's time to up your game. / Chris (to self): I don't know what he means but I know he's right. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=745&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Opossum | Title: Opossum
/ Caption: The Opossum plays possum. / Squid: I heard that when you guys play so-called "possum," you're actually just scared into a coma. / Opossum: W-what? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=746&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - The Love Letter Continues Part 3 | Title: The Love Letter Continues Part 3
/ Caption: This might be more about how I feel about summer. / Chris's Love Letter: You are the first day of summer. / Chris's Love Letter: Your warmth washes over me; it makes me look forward to the days to come. / Chris's Love Letter: Let's make this the best... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=747&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Proust For Babies | Title: Proust For Babies
/ Caption: Babies are the only people I'm totally fine with being illiterate. / TV: Your baby can learn to read. / Baby on TV: Hibbabobamuss / Squid: Why on earth would a baby need to read? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=748&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Shrink | Title: Shrink
/ Caption: Also, I tend to panic at the sight of tears. / Chris: I could be a headshrinker; I love helping. / [[Squid sighs.]] / Squid: You have no grasp of basic human emotion and no one believes anything you say. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=749&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Old Spice Old Flame | Title: Old Spice Old Flame
/ Caption: On top of that, I no longer reap the benefits of the axe effect. / Chris (to self): That smell...so familiar... / Chris (to self): Oh yeah, new deoderant...she used to wear old spice, didn't she? / Chris (to self): Well, I guess I'll be smelling like wistful memories... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=750&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Ventriloquism | Chris: Wait right there, buddy cause I think I've got it. / Chris: Yes sirree; the solution. / Chris (through a ventriloquist's dummy): Everything is going to be O.K. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=751&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - F Your F | Title: F Your F
/ Caption: I went down to a mustache with mixed results. / Meryl: Jeez Castro. Would you shave? No lady is gonna kiss your face covered in garbage. / Chris: Aw, fuck it. / Meryl: No. No. Don't cut off your nose to fuck your face. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=752&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Pen Crisis | Title: Pen Crisis
/ Caption: What a world! / Chris: The CVS stopped carrying the pens I use! / Chris: I'm running dry, baby! / Squid: I just hope this big blue marble can keep spinning. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=753&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Missed Connections | Title: Missed Connections
/ Caption: Hindsight, eh? / Chris (to self): I should have married her. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=754&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Grave Rob | Title: Grave Rob
/ Caption: I think the joke here is that I made grave rob into a verb. / Chris: Jesus! What are you doing with this? / Chris: Did...did you grave rob this? http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=755&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Couch Fort | Title: Couch Fort
/ Caption: Honestly, it's probably been a while. / Chris: Hey, that's a pretty solid looking fort, buddy. / Squid: Thank you. / Squid: When did you last wash your sheets. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=756&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Professionalism | Title: Professionalism
/ Caption: It's true, I'm a real pro at cowardice. / Squid: Dude, ask her out. / Chris: I can't ask out a customer. I - I'm a professional. / Squid: Yeah, a professional coward. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=757&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - A Convincing Argument | Title: A Convincing Argument
/ Caption: You ever convince anyone of anything? Liar. / Chris: Man, in this life, you can't convince anyone of anything. / Squid: I don't know if I buy that. / Chris: Yeah. That's what I'm saying. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=758&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - From The Monster Manual III #18 | Title: From The Monster Manual III #18
/ Caption: Goalem http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=759&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Two Guns | Title: Two Guns
/ Caption: Please, never shoot me. / Chris: Who finds these ladies with guns sexy? / Chris: "Oh, hey babe. Maybe Thursday we could grab a drink or watch a DVD..." / Chris: "Or you could shoot someone. That could be fun too." http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=760&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Catch That Thing | Title: Catch That Thing
/ Caption: That's one of those little floaty seed pods, not a spider. / Squid: Careful, wishing makes you lazy. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=761&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Mother's Day '09 | Title: Mother's Day '09
/ Caption: the women that invented Mother's Day later ended up leading protests against Mother's Day. This is fact. Happy Mother's Day, Mom! / Squid: Anna Jarvis, I heard you were ultimately angered by what became of Mother's Day, the commercialization. / Squid: Not enough kissing... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=762&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Dog Treats | Title: Dog Treats
/ Caption: I was not actually commissioned to design a bag of dog treats. / Squid: What are you doing, turkey? The Savage Curtain is on! / Chris: Alright. I just have to finish the design on that bag of dog treats I'm making. / Dog on bag of dog treats: Howl-y shit! http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=763&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - These Are The Jokes | Title: These Are The Jokes
/ Caption: Is this thing on? / Chris: Did you hear about the doctor who got tired of waiting for business to pick up? / Chris: He just needed more patients. / Chris (to self): Memories of you haunt me. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=764&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Proust For Babies | [[TV advertisement: a baby sits in a corner. A flashcard that reads HIPPOPOTAMUS is facing the TV audience.]]
/ TV: YOUR BABY *CAN* LEARN TO READ. / [[The flashcard is flipped and the baby smiles]]
/ Baby on TV: HIBBABOBAMUSS / [[Squid and Chris sit watching TV and drinking hot beverages.]]
/ Squid:... http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=765&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Ten Seconds | Title: Ten Seconds
/ Caption: How will your head spend its ten seconds? / Chris's head (to self): And I never saw Paris. / Chris's head (to self): No, wait. I have been to Paris. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=766&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Shoe Salesman | Title: Shoe Salesman
/ Caption: There is only one real pair of shoes, ladies. / Squid: You could be a shoe salesman. Ladies love shoes. Make money. Meet ladies. / Chris: I don't think I could do that. / Chris: If they went home with anything but Chucks, then I would have sold them lies. http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=767&type_id=1 |
| The Ego and the Squid - Lottery Winner | Title: Lottery Winner
/ Caption: This is a comic about class in America; I'm just kidding. / Squid: Have you considered winning the lotto? / Chris: Me...? A lotto winner? / Fantasy Lotto Winner Chris: Now I don't gotta be scared of nuthin'! http://doctorsquid.com/index.php?index=768&type_id=1 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 >>