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| Thursday, March 13, 2003 | [[Two paper airplanes glide past Coleen reading a book]] / [[The airplanes glide past Merv typing at a computer]] / [[One of the planes crashes near Ned reading a newspaper, the other glides on]] / Dewey: Look, my 1040 went farther than your 1040EZ!
/ Mel: I knew I should have itemized. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030313 |
| Friday, March 14, 2003 | [[A policeman, in riot gear, stands by Dewey. A patron stands by both of them, holding a finger under his nose.]]
/ Policeman: I was told my riot gear was needed.
/ Dewey: It is.
/ Patron: Aaah . . . Aaah . . . / < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030314 |
| Saturday, March 15, 2003 | Man: Do you have any tissues?
/ Dewey: Why, yes. Yes, we do. / [[Dewey being to build a wall out of tissue boxes]] / [[Dewey puts the last box on top of the wall]] / Mel: I think you're going a bit far.
/ Dewey: That's because you're not out of sick days.
/ Man: Achoo! [[behind a walls of even more... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030315 |
| Sunday, March 16, 2003 | [[Tamara and Dewey are walking through the library.]]
/ Tamara: ANOTHER hand-washing break?
/ Dewey: I take cold and flu season very seriously. / [[Dewey walking out of the bathroom while Buddy is coming around the corner holding a box.]] / Buddy: AHEM! / [[Dewey is laying face down on the floor with... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030316 |
| Sunday, March 16, 2003 | [[Tamara and Dewey are walking through the library.]]
/ Tamara: ANOTHER hand-washing break?
/ Dewey: I take cold and flu season very seriously. / [[Dewey walking out of the bathroom while Buddy is coming around the corner holding a box.]] / Buddy: AHEM! / [[Dewey is laying face down on the floor with... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030316 |
| Monday, March 17, 2003 | [[A woman and her child are talking to Dewey at the reference desk.]]
/ Woman: Will my daughter be safe here while I run an errand?
/ Dewey: I can't promise anyone will be watching her. / [[Buddy enters the panel.]]
/ Woman: Why, has anything bad ever happened to a child here?
/ Buddy: Storytime is starting!... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030317 |
| Tuesday, March 18, 2003 | Girl: My mommy left me here.
/ Tamara: I can see that. / Girl: She's always leaving me places. She's very busy.
/ Tamara: I bet she is. / Girl: So, where's the T.V.?
/ Tamara: I'll show you some books. / [[girl walking away with Tamara watching]]
/ Girl: Oh well, this beats the truck stop. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030318 |
| Wednesday, March 19, 2003 | [[Mel and Dewey are walking through the library.]]
/ Mel: Will people ever understand that our library isn't a daycare center?
/ Dewey: It's not? / Mel: How can you ask that?
/ [[Tamara is talking to a young girl, her arm is on her shoulder.]]
/ Tamara: . . . and then you can come to storytime, and we'll... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030319 |
| Thursday, March 20, 2003 | [[Mom talking to Dewey at the information desk.]]
/ Mom: Where is my daughter?
/ Dewey: Why are you asking me? I SAID I couldn't watch her. / Mom [[looking frantic]]: What? You've got to find her! Do something! Call the police!
/ Dewey [[holding the phone]]: Okay, I'll tell them you left your young daughter... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030320 |
| Friday, March 21, 2003 | [[Dewey is standing in the stacks talking to a patron and her child]]
/ Patron: I'm never leaving her here alone again!
/ Dewey: Okay / Patron: I've lost my faith in my community
/ Dewey: Pity / Patron: I mean it. Children aren't safe here without their parents!
/ Dewey: [[Thumbs Up]] I'm with... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030321 |
| Saturday, March 22, 2003 | Patron: And I need it tomorrow!
/ Dewey: Tomorrow. I see. / Patron: Why are you staring at me?
/ Dewey: I'm sorry, but your face and body language don't match. / [[Only the patron is now in view. With vague expression on her face.]]
/ Patron: Botox. / Dewey: So now you're...
/ Patron: Trying to roll... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030322 |
| Sunday, March 23, 2003 | [[small child speaking with Tamara]]
/ Small Child: Where do babies come from?
/ Tamara: Ah, the great miracle of life! / Tamara: The magic of a new spirit in the world, a tiny and perfect little being... / Tamara: ...Sweet and innocent...
/ Small Child: You don't know either, do you? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030323 |
| Monday, March 24, 2003 | Dewey: He asked you the big question?
/ Tamara: That he did. / Dewey: Did you tell him to ask his mother?
/ Tamara: She sent him to me in the first place. / Dewey: I'd love to hear what you ...
/ Little boy: Tamara said to ask you where babies come from. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030324 |
| Tuesday, March 25, 2003 | Child: Where do babies come from?
/ Colleen: [[holding Doreen] I got mine in China. / Child: They're made in China? Like Transformers?
/ Colleen: Mine was. / Child: [[holding Doreen's foot]] Why doesn't she have one of those stickers?
/ Colleen: It came off in the bath. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030325 |
| Wednesday, March 26, 2003 | [[Dewey is walking into the staff room. Tamara, Mel, and Colleen are all in there holding straws.]]
/ Dewey: Those look suspiciously like straws.
/ Mel: Yes, and in a variety of sizes. / Dewey [[picking up a straw]]: I have a bad feeling about this.
/ Mel: Don't be silly! / Mel: Look everybody! Dewey's... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030326 |
| Thursday, March 27, 2003 | [[Dewey and Mel are walking and talking. Mel is carrying books.]]
/ Dewey: I swore I'd never host another poetry slam.
/ Mel: Come to staff meetings on time. / [[Dewey pounds his fist into his other hand.]]
/ Dewey: This year I'm doing things differently.
/ Mel: No beret? No black turtlenecks? / [[Dewey... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030327 |
| Friday, March 28, 2003 | [[Tamara goes into raptures over a bored Dewey.]]
/ Tamara: I've never been to a real poetry slam!
/ Dewey: And after next week that'll still be true. / Tamara: People just read their poems?
/ Dewey: You'll be shocked how many aspiring poets Mallville has. / [[Tamara holds up several volumes of notebooks... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030328 |
| Saturday, March 29, 2003 | Mel: Tell me your secret plan for the poetry slam.
/ Dewey: I'm keeping the readings short. / Mel: How short?
/ Dewey: Seventeen concise syllables per contestant. / Mel: "Haiku-only slam" -- it sounds like a big mistake. Who recites Haiku?
/ Dewey: Well you just did. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030329 |
| Sunday, March 30, 2003 | Dewey: Prepping for the Poetry Slam?
/ Colleen: In my day, we called them "readings." / Dewey: When was your day, exactly? You're never clear.
/ Colleen: How do those foreign poems of your go again? / Dewey: Haiku? Five syllables, then seven, then five.
/ Colleen: Okay. Now what rhymes with "despotic... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030330 |
| Monday, March 31, 2003 | [[Dewey stands at a lectern labeled "Mallville Public Library." National Poetry Month signs hang on either side of him.]]
/ Dewey: Welcome everybody to the annual Mallville Poetry Slam. / Dewey: This year's rules committee determined that only haiku will be permitted. Questions? / Merv: Did the rules... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030331 |
| Tuesday, April 01, 2003 | Tamara: Pristine mind balloon float up, stay up, read all night float back down and dream.
/ Young girl [[holding paper]]: My dog Baskerville miniature in stature heart bigger than bite
/ Merv: Microsoft X-Box
/ superior hardware, yes.
/ But games? Still lagging / Dewey [[to Merv]]: Very moving.
/ Merv:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030401 |
| Wednesday, April 02, 2003 | [[HAIKU ORGY]]
/ Poet: How much of my epic can I read?
/ Dewey: Seventeen syllables' worth. / Poet: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
/ Dewey: Couldn't you just summarize? / Poet: My girlfriend left me
/ for a crop sprayer pilot
/ now I write all day. / Poet: Actually it edited down pretty well.
/ Buddy [[with tears... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030402 |
| Thursday, April 03, 2003 | Buddy [[reading from a paper]]: I once grew a tree in a bucket for a lady who . . .
/ Dewey: Stop. / Buddy: Did I go over the limit?
/ Dewey: In so many ways. / Buddy: I used to write a lot of poetry when I was in the navy.
/ Dewey: Okay folks, that brings our day to a close!
/ Buddy: Mostly about w... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030403 |
| Friday, April 04, 2003 | Beatnik-looking guy: Um, who won?
/ Dewey: Excuse me? / Beatnik: The Poetry Slam. It was a competition, right? Who won?
/ Dewey: When poetry is shared, we all win. / Merv: Uh huh.
/ Dewey: It's true. Anyway, no one would donate a trophy. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030404 |
| Saturday, April 05, 2003 | [[Dewey is at Information Desk, Merv is standing beside the desk, Computer Victim is at front of desk]]
/ Computer Victim: The computer hates me. It keeps printing upside-down. / [[Dewey and patron, Dewey is turning the page over]] / [[Computer Victim leaving, Merv and Dewey talking]]
/ Computer Victim:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030405 |
| Sunday, April 06, 2003 | [[Two middle aged men, one with a beard and one with a mustache, enter the library.]]
/ Man with beard: I've never been in a library before.
/ Man with mustache: It's just a big building with books. There's nothing to worry about. / [[Computer victim is at the information desk talking with Dewey. Man... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030406 |
| Monday, April 07, 2003 | [[Mel is standing behind Dewey, who is seated and reading.]]
/ Mel: One of the computers is making a funny sound.
/ Dewey: Oh? / Mel: Don't you want to look at it?
/ Dewey: After I finish this chapter. Which computer? / Mel: Yours.
/ [[Now Dewey looks concerned]] / [[Colleen (with Doreen) and Mel standing... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030407 |
| Tuesday, April 08, 2003 | [[Colleen and Dewey are looking at the insides of a computer]]
/ Colleen: What's wrong with your computer?
/ Dewey: The hard drive. I think it actually melted. / Colleen: That sounds bad.
/ Dewey: It is. Fortunately we have that daily backup you set up. / [[Colleen smiles a very brittle smile]] / [[Merv... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030408 |
| Wednesday, April 09, 2003 | Colleen to Dewey: I meant to backup your computer. / Colleen: I've been really busy. / Colleen: Besides, I haven't read that part of the book yet. / Colleen: I can change the font of your documents. Would that help?
/ Dewey: If I had any documents. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030409 |
| Thursday, April 10, 2003 | [[Dewey talking to Tamara. Tamara is busy shelving books.]]
/ Dewey: . . . so I lost all my files in one fell swoop. . . / [[Tamara is carrying a stack of books. Dewey continues to talk.]]
/ Dewey: . . . no automatic backup, despite what we've been told . . . / [[Tamara checking something on the... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030410 |
| Friday, April 11, 2003 | Mel: Your performance review is due today.
/ Dewey: It is? I mean it was lost with the rest of my files. Give me a week. / Colleen: Where's that book list you said you'd get me?
/ Dewey: List? Uh, I'll have to rebuild it from memory. Could take a while. / Tamara: I need that computer tutorial you... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030411 |
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